…“Cassiopeia”…

Chapter 1

Raindrops fell softly on the window sill, creating a pit-a-pat sound in the silent evening. The red sun sank far away at the horizon while darkness enveloped the gray sky. Umbrellas sprang up like colorful mushrooms on the busy streets and traffic jams filled the roads with noisy panting of motors. It seemed like no one really appreciates the coolness that the rainy season had brought with it.

But in the brightly lit room, no one seemed to mind the gloomy weather at all. Soft laughter filled the white wall room while two young girls gathered around the cold hospital bed. Their friend, the pale faced girl who sat on the bed, smiles weakly back at them. Her long silky hair, the color of the deepest black, made her white skin looked even paler under the neon light. Her thin body looked so fragile like the finest china. It seemed like one single touch would break her into pieces.

“Don’t worry, Nan.” The short hair girl said with a bright smile. “Everything will be alright. Relax and seep well!”

“Yes, of course.” The young girl on the bed nodded back convincingly, but deep inside, she knew the inevitable truth. Though she received so many encouraging words, she knew nothing could overcome the high risks she needed to face bravely. And that risk was the operation she needed to go through tomorrow.

“Listen to our CD, okay?” The other girl continued. “You know that Jaejoong Oppa*’s voice always help you.”

The name brought a bright smile on the pale face. Nan’s heart beat a little faster in a happy beat. Although she knew that it was bad for her ill heart, she was willing to trade some pain with a little happiness. Her weak arm reached out for the CD on the night stand.

“Yes, I will! Mook and Ploy, thanks a lot!” Nan answered cheerfully. “I promise to give you guys a treat when I get out of the hospital.” 

“Ha ha! You better be quick!” Mook laughed. “I’ll be waiting for a big plate of sushi!”

Nan laughed too at her friend’s words then Ploy spoke up.

“The concert ticket pre-sale is tomorrow already.  Nan, where do you want to sit?”

The excitement quickly lit up on Nan’s pale face.

“Please, right in the front!” she exclaimed, smiling widely.  “Ploy, reserve the 4,500 baht standing, please!  I’m dying to see it!”

“My dear, don’t be silly.”  A stern voice rose up at the other side of the room.  A middle-aged woman sat on the sofa with a book in her hand.  Her aging face looked so tired and stern, but those midnight-colouredeyes could not hide her kindness deep inside.  “Although you get better, you won’t be able to stand there for three hours yet.  It’s far too much!”

“OK, mum,” replied Nan in a bored voice.  “Then a seat would be fine, please.  But make sure it’s right in the front!”

It had always been like heaven turned its back against this poor, lonely girl.  She was born with the heart disease and spent most of her childhood in the hospital.  She had always been home-schooled and had never known the fun of an amusement park.  Her weak body had always prevented her from having every physical fun a child wants.  She had had no friends, and the sickness had washed away all her dreams and hopes.

All she ever had was the cruel world of painful reality.

But things started to change when, at the age of 12, she got better and was able to go to normal school.  Like flowers blooming after a long, severe winter, she felt joy for the first time in her life.  Friends and fun, things that a young girl always wants, were there.  But the thing that played a really big part in her happiness was her favorite band’s, TVXQ, music. Soft melody that made her drift in dreams, cheerful beats that made her wanted to dance for the first time.  She loved everything that made up the songs. It wasn’t like anything she had heard before.

It was like a destiny when she heard her favouriteband’s song for the first time.  The clear warm voice caught Nan’s attention from the very first note.  The sweet melody made her heart beat fast, but surprisingly, it did not hurt like it used to.  Instead, peace and joy filled her weak heart little by little, making her swear she would love this voice till the day she died.

For the first time in her miserable life, Nan decided heaven did not leave her alone.

No…not at all.  Instead, it gave her life to appreciate this lovely tune.

The worried woman gave her daughter another disapproving look, but said nothing.  She knew that music was Nan’s only hope and dream, and how much it had helped her mentally.  On the other hand, because of all these excitement and quick pace of the modern world that were more than a weak body could bear, Nan’s health worsened quickly too.  It seemed like the young girl herself barely noticed that, but her poor mother was completely worried sick.  She would do anything to stop her daughter’s condition from getting worse, but she would not risk taking music away from Nan as the girl got nothing more than that.

“I hope I’ll be well enough at that time,” Nan smiled weakly.  Oh, how much she wished to run around freely and jump up and down to the music!

“Of course!  We have another 3 months,” said Mook convincingly.  “You’ll be totally fine.  I’m sure everything will be alright tomorrow.”

The three friends hugged one another with love and care, giving courage to the frail girl.  Because of all the things people around her had done for her, Nan convinced herself, too, to believe that nothing could go wrong.  For the first time she would be able to run freely and for the first time, she would be able to live life to the full.

Please, let everything goes well.  She prayed silently in her heart.  I will be more than willing to give anything to see him, my beloved musician, for at least once in my life.  Please let me recover from this terrible disease I’ve been suffering all along.

……What else can I do? ….That’s all I ever have…….

g----------------------g

The next morning came fast.  Nan woke up with a start because of the bright sunlight that shone very early, and looked around the room.  Her mother was already left the sofa she had slept during the night.  Surely, she was too worried to get much sleep.  But Nan did not mind much and reached out for her MP3 player.  Two hours to go before the surgery…. She did not want to panic before the real thing came.  Music was the only thing that could calm her down.

Sweet melody started as she pressed the play button and she closed her eyes to enjoy every single note of the songs.

It had always been like this, nothing could cure her pain better than music.  If nothing could wash her stress away, if nothing could brighten her blue world, it always came back to this warm, soothing voice of her favourite band.  Smiles would pop up on her face like magic!

After a while Nan opened her eyes again and dugher hand under the white pillow.  From there, she pulled out a middle-sized photograph.  A small, innocent smile lit her face while she looked at the picture.  It was the picture of the one who brought back all her hopes and dreams.

He was the oldest member of the band, the owner of the warm, husky voice that Nan loved.  In his early twenties, he had jet-black hair and clear, grey eyes that starred with cold charisma from behind the framed glasses.  The young man was exceptionally handsome, an idol from the Korean music industry.  But it was not his look that captured Nan’s heart. But it wasn’t his looks that captured the girl’s heart. It was his voice that brought so much happiness and warmth to the frail girl.

“Oppa…” She whispered to the photo as if it was alive. “I promise I will go to see you. I believe everything will be alright.”

g----------------------g

Two hours passed quicker than anyone realized. Soon the doctor came with a few nurses and took her to the operating room. The anxious mother looked at her daughter worriedly. Her hands were cold and shaking, her face pale like parchment. Nan gave her mother one last comforting smile before she was given anestheticand fell into a dreamless sleep. The doctor kindly asked the woman to step out and closed the white metal door behind him. Then the hospital’s corridor was deserted and filled with utter silence. The only sound came from the worried heart pounding heavily while she sat down wearily.

...Please…let my only daughter recover from this cruel disease…

…Let her enjoy the young world she never had a chance to see before…

The following hours seemed to tick away at an endless speed. Whenever the thin woman glanced up at the clock on the white wall, its arm would moved for only a few millimetres even though she felt it was hours passed  already. The long hallway remained silent for a very long time. Until two hours passed, the metal door reopened again. She sprang up from her chair, alerted because of the squeaky noise of the door’s hinge, then sprinted to the door.

“How is she? Is she okay?” Her voice trembled as she asked and caught hold of the doctor’s white gown. The doctor, a tall man with short grey hair and kind face, nodded back, smiling slightly.

“We have successfully changed the heart valve.” He announced. “Now she’s okay but still asleep because of the anesthetic. We will move heart back to the normal room but we need to keep a close watch on her. We need to see if her body response well with the new valve.”

“Oh…thank you…thank you so much…” The pale woman murmured with relief as she smiled weakly back at the older man. Hope filled her heart and washed the anxiety away.

Now all we have to do is to wait and see.She thought happily to herself. I haven’t been wrong about this surgery…

…Everything will be okay…

g----------------------g

The sun had already gone down when Nan finally woke up. She blinked slowly because of the bright neon light on the ceiling that she wasn’t used to after a long sleep. The young girl shook her head slightly to get rid of the dizziness but sharp pain shot up instead on her left chest. It was almost unbearable and made her whimpered in pain, but that surely got rid of the sleepiness really well.

Nan tried to open her eyes once again, more carefully this time, and looked around the room. Outside was already pitch dark, and the room was in a total silence. Her mum who hadn’t notice her waking up yet sat reading a book in another corner as usual. The tired features on her face made Nan smiled wearily at her mother’s excessive worries.

“Mum…” She called softly cross the room. The middle-age woman looked up instantly at her daughter’s voice while putting down the book and hurried to the bed. The expressions of anxiety and relief mixed up in her clear black eyes.

“Oh, Nan! I’m glad you finally woke up.” She said while holding the pale girl’s hand tightly. “How do you feel?”

“Painful, I guess.” Nan replied with a weak smile. “Oh, and kind of dizzy too, but I think that’s from the anesthetic. Overall, I’m alright.”

“The pain will go away soon, my dear. Be brave!” Her mother said encouragingly. “But do you feel any difference?”

“It’s hard to tell, mum. I feel quite the same some now. I think we will have to see when the wound is healed.”

“Yes, I think so too.” Her mother nodded and relaxed a bit. “Let’s hope for the best, shall we?”

“Of course, mum!” Nan replied with a bright smile. “If I don’t, how can I go to see the concert?”

The thin woman laughed at her daughter’s enthusiasm.

“By the way, Ploy called me this afternoon that se already got the concert ticket for you. And it’s exactly where you want to sit!”

“Really? Ya…ouch!!” The young girl nearly sprang up with but the sudden attack of sharp horrible pain made her cried out then lay still again. Her mother shook her head disapprovingly at Nan’s reaction.

“Oh, please Nan. Don’t get over-excited!” She said sternly. “Why are you so excited about just this one event? I won’t be surprised if you’re thrilling about the new live you’re going to have.”

Those words made Nan grinned and chuckled. She just doesn’t understand me as usual. It seem like only Mook and Ploy understand this “why”.

“I am, mum. But what do you think has got me this far? Without TVXQ…without their music, I wouldn’t be able to fight my weakness. Without them maybe I wouldn’t even be alive anymore!”

“….”

“Alright, mum. Without you I wouldn’t have made it through, too.” The young girl rolled her eyes and laughed when her mother’s expression read ‘what about me?’ after her little speech. “I just want to tell them how thankful I am after they had done so much for me without them even knowing it.” 

TBC.