Blurry

By: Suji

Group: Big Bang

Pairing: G-TOP

Type: A little bit of everything! :D Angst, , and fluff- All in one covenant package! :D

Rating: R

Warnings: ual content, and language

Words: 1,652

            Normally JiYong was the only one drunk off his on these nights. But tonight, watching that blonde beauty twirl himself around so pointlessly (music or not) on the dance floor of the club, Seunghyun couldn’t help but take a few shots himself…. And a few more…. A couple beers…. And wash it all down with a tall glass of vodka and a few more shots.

Seunghyun was pretty sure that his blood alcohol level was well above illegal and that if he were to die of anything right that second it would have been either alcohol poisoning or a broken heart.

JiYong and Seunghyun had always been close, ever since Big Bang had started. Seunghyun was the worst singer and dancer (though he could rap like a beast) and JiYong had been with YG for years, and promised to show Seunghyun the ropes. It was only natural that, in the years to come, that the two would become brothers, souls meant to be bound together in friendship for decades, sharing ideas, music, lyrics, booze, and even the occasional women if the time was right.

But when JiYong was drunk, he did strange things when it came to Seunghyun.

He would stumble in either extremely late at night or just before the sun went down, cuddle up next to Seunghyun like a cat, and start running his hands along Seunghyun’s face, his arms, his chest, his legs….

Seunghyun always pushed the younger calmly away and internally blamed the alcohol for his best friends’ behavior as he guided the younger to his own bed and shut the door.

But tonight, seeing that same blonde boy drunk and crazy again on the dance floor, made Seunghyun want that same sensation.

He wanted to be that careless, that free, that crazy and reckless.

Seunghyun wanted to drink till the room was spinning and the world just couldn’t seem to stand still. He wanted to down shots until names, faces, genders, all became blurred.

He wanted his mind to be numbed enough for him to do something wild and reckless just because it felt good and not be able to have the burden of remembering in the morning.

And with that thought in mind, and the world slowly picking up speed beneath his feet, Seunghyun ordered ‘just one more shot’.

            Flashes of the blonde invaded Seunghyun’s vision here and there, his stripped body hot and sweaty and his face contorted in pleasure above him.

Flashes of the apartment…. How did they get home….?

Sudden screams and moans of ecstasy as pressure enveloped his painfully hard over and over again.

JiYong’s bleached hair flinging up and down in beat with the pressure as his own low moans invaded the sounds.

“…. Seunghyun… ah, ah…. !”

That all too familiar heat pooling in Seunghyun’s abdomen at the moans just before something thick and warm spilled across his stomach in time with another of JiYong’s pleasurable screams.

One more lap of pressure and Seunghyun could feel a similar heat exiting his own body into the depths of the blondes’ heat surrounding him.

And then…. Black….

            Seunghyun’s head was pulsing painfully, only stimulated more by the rays filtering in through his eyelids from the window on his left.

So warm….

Why was it so warm….?

He opened his eyes dully to the ceiling, raising one hand against the light, taking a slightly struggled breath in.

Pressure….

Seunghyun’s eyes trailed down to his chest and stopped dead in its tracks.

Arms splayed across his chest, his own shirtless flesh rubbing ever so slightly against Seunghyun’s and eyes lightly closed, was JiYong, breathing slowly in and out, face blank and almost peaceful against Seunghyun’s own  pale chest.

The elders’ eyes widened slightly in recognition of just what might have happened the night before.

He wanted to be free.

He wanted to be tasteless and crazy and do something stupid…..

And apparently he did….

Seunghyun moved just slightly as to lightly stir the younger without surprising him.

JiYong’s eyes fluttered open lightly and scanned the room slowly a moment before finally glancing up and matching gazes with Seunghyun.

The two paused for a long moment, gazes locked and growing crazier with each new thought that popped into their head.

“Did we….?” Seunghyun began and JiYong shook his head slowly, sitting back up and off of Seunghyun’s bare chest.

“I….I don’t know….” He managed.

But just as JiYong sat up strait, just enough of the thin blankets beneath him fell away to reveal that his chest wasn’t the only thing unclothed.

In a heartbeat JiYong was up and off the bed, one of the thin sheets clutched tightly around his waist as he dashed to the far side of the room in pure shock.

Both boys’ eyes widened and either’s mouths gaped blankly as if to say something but no words were able to come out. Then finally;

“I… I don’t remember a thing….” Seunghyun murmured, rubbing his temples roughly with the palms of his hands.

“That, ummm…. That’s kind of comes with being drunk, hyung….” JiYong bit his lower lip now with his rapidly rising nerves. “But I… I didn’t mean to…. I mean I know I hit on you when I’m drunk but…. But I didn’t think that just cause you were drunk I’d…. I…. I’m so sorry hyung….”

“Wait….” Seunghyun suddenly hummed, sitting up strait on the bed and bringing the comforter completely over his now crossed legs and bare lap. “You…. You knew you hit on me when you were drunk? I…. I always just thought you were too drunk to notice it was me….”

JiYong’s face suddenly lit up bright red and he backed ever more into the door, slowly beginning to shake his head side to side in denial.

“I-I…. I don’t…. I mean I…. ummm….”

But Seunghyun raised a hand to cut off the younger in mid-sentence and glance down in frustration.

“JiYong….” He sighed now, looking back up and locking eyes with the blonde. “I just think…. I just think that it would be best if we forgot this ever happened…. Okay? We just need to…. To forget about this, move on, and never speak of it again. After all…. It was just one drunken night…. Right?”

            For months afterwards, the pair had been increasingly awkward around one another. Every time they were left alone in the apartment or at the studio, always making up excuses to leave the room earlier than necessary or staying way later then needed, etc.

But for some reason, there was something in the air that neither boy was sure of, but only assumed was guilt and shame.

On one end, JiYong’s head was swimming;

He had always had an odd crush on Seunghyun but never dared voice it. When Ji was drunk was the only time that he would allow himself to touch Seunghyun the way he wanted to….

It wasn’t right- wasn’t appropriate for a leader with his band mate.

His hyung.

On the other end, Seunghyun’s mind was scrambled.

He has always thought that Ji just never knew it was him that he was hitting on when he was wasted, just wanting to get laid by the next nearest person (that just so happened more than often to be Seunghyun).

In all honesty, Seunghyun didn’t much mind JiYong hitting on him, but he figured it was because he knew the poor delicate-looking thing was drunk and wouldn’t remember a damned thing come morning.

But now…. Now that he knew JiYong did remember…. He had no idea what to do….

            “Hey Ji….”

JiYong’s head yanked up from the desk where sheets of lyrics were sprawled across it’s smooth surface, notes of lyrics and beats scribbled down here and there.

Seunghyun sighed at JiYong’s stunned expression as he stepped in the room and closed the door gently behind him.

They hadn’t been alone again since that morning…. Until just now….

“JiYong I…. I think we need to talk….” He tried again. “Listen…. About what happened that night….”

“I love you.”

The words seemed to have caught both boys off guard because and awkward and unsure silence quickly spread between them until JiYong finally picked up from Seunghyun’s wide-eyed expression that he was waiting for the younger to continue.

“I-I…. I love you, Seunghyun-hyung....” He began again, louder this time, though the small crack in his voice made his nerves more than noticeable. “That, ummm…. That’s why I went out so often…. I knew that when I came home…. When I was drunk that you…. You let me touch you…. I always got just drunk enough to be tipsy but still remember what I wanted to do…. I…. I love you hyung, but I…. I know that’s not right…. I don’t want things to be like this anymore but I-”

But Seunghyun’s lips were at his, immediately swallowing his words and silencing the boy until he leaned in slowly and deeply in return.

“JiYong….” Seunghyun breathed, once leaning away again. “I…. I’m glad you did.... Well in a way…. Cause…. Cause you made me realize that I…. That this entire time that I…. I loved you too…. That night Ji…. I was in shock in the morning but at night…. That was me… This…. This self-centered, egotistic thing otherwise is…. It’s T.O.P., but that…. That was Choi Seunghyun…. Ji, I…. I was Seunghyun for you….”

JiYong broke out in a wide smile then and spoke the only words he could have possibly thought of at that moment;

“I love you, Seunghyun….”

Kiss, kiss, kiss….

“I love you too, Ji…. I always have….”

From that night on, neither boy slept (or drank) alone again….

THE END