Donghae… do you remember when you moved in next door? You were six and I was seven. At first I hated you and you cried every time I didn’t want to play with you.

But then one day, you just walked around alone in the rain. I was watching cartoons and saw you from the window. The look that you had in your eyes changed the way I acted towards you.

And after that… you became my best friend.

I still remember all those nights we stayed up, watching movies and laughing until our stomachs hurt.

We even stayed up together when one of us was having a test. It was almost like a deal we made without really making it.

We were always there for each other.

And as we grew older, my feelings for you started to change. You became the light in my life and the reason for my smile.

It took me some time to realize that I was in love with you.

I wanted to yell at you and tell you my feelings. But somehow, the smile on your face stopped me.

I wanted you happy, and how was I going to make you happy when I couldn’t give you a child. You wanted children so bad and that I couldn’t give you. If I told you, then maybe you would leave me. So I just stayed by your side with a smile and watched your life develop.

I remember how I cried when we parted ways for collage. But you just smiled and told me that we would always be friends.

But before we even grew apart, your father’s death sewed us together again.

I was there in the hospital, waiting hours and hours with you. Holding you when you were asleep and when you cried.

But then after that… we really did grow apart.

You got a girlfriend who loved you and you got new friends who looked up to you and some watched over you.

The same thing happened to me. Though I couldn’t love anyone else than you.

And then as the years passed, we only saw each other when we met at your father’s grave that one day each year.

I still remember how you hugged me and how you gave me the wedding invitation, while asking me to stand there beside you as you married the girl of your dreams.

I was there at your wedding, watching you cry from sheer happiness while your fiancé said yes.

I also remember how your wife walked over to me that same day and thanked me for always being there for you when you had needed me. All I could do was smile and tell her that I did it because you were my friend.

And then… years passed yet again.

And as we stood there at your father’s grave, you told me that your wife was pregnant.

I congratulated you and hugged you.

And I was happy. You had made a wonderful life for yourself and you surrounded yourself by love. That was what I had always wanted for you. I wanted you to be happy. That was why I always watched you and your happiness. It made me smile.

Your son was born and he was the cutest thing I had ever seen.

After that, we grew close again. We saw each other more and more. Your wife became one of my best friends and I was always welcome at your house.

And then as years passed yet again, a little baby girl joined your family.

She was as beautiful as your wife and had your eyes. She was perfect.

But happiness can’t last forever.

And that was proved right when you collapsed one day. You were sick.

And as I sat there in the hospital with your mother and the family you had created, I felt the happiness drain from my body. You were dying.

You tried treatment, but it didn’t work… and all I could do, was watch you as your perfect life grew dark and sorrowful.

And I still remember the last thing you said to me. You told me that you wanted me to take care of your family. You also told me that if I someday grew to care for your wife in the same way you did, then I shouldn’t hesitate to make both me and her happy.

And then as the life drained from your body and there was no longer a Lee Donghae in the world. I felt the pain and sorrow I had denied all of these years.

And I cried like I had never cried before.

And the one who helped me through the loss of you was the woman you loved. We helped each other. We stayed up at night and talked like I used to talk to you. But I never loved her in the way you did. She became my best friend.

I made sure that your children grew up strong and happy, because that is what you would’ve wanted. And I watched them grow into their teens.

I held the hand of your wife as we watched your son smiling down at the love of his life, exchanging rings as their wedding proceeded.

You took my happiness at first. But the family you had created gave it back.

I have lived a wonderful and loving life. It was thanks to you.

And now as I am holing the hand of your wife yet again, seeing your daughter say yes to a man who loves her deeply. I know. I know that you are here watching us from afar. Just like I always did with you.

Soo... yeah, that was it.