"You know, it's not like I want to do this."

She's looking at the envelop I'm putting in the middle of the table, her eyes reddened from crying too much.

"You want to. Just admit it."

I don't know where to look.

Her eyes...

As if she pierces through me, uncovering the shameful things I'm thinking...

I'm doing...

But... how couldn't I?

I'm not doing this for me.

But otherwise... am I doing this for him?

Or is it just the fact I'm too weak to think of other ways?

Other ways to save him?

Other ways to save us?

I'm taking a deep breath before looking back into her eyes.

No.

I've crossed the line long ago.

This is nothing I could stop from happening anymore. It's not my fault... not mine. And I'm just too involved in the plans to ignore them.

"This could be the end for your career. Your image will most probably be destroyed."

" Well", I'm saying while leaning at the back of the chair. " My image might be destroyed. But that person... won't even get the chance to set one up."