twentytwo.
Jooyeon bit her lip in nervousness as she saw Hyukjae and Donghae making their way towards her. They were laughing and were joshing with each other. Hyukjae had his arm around Donghae’s neck and shaking him, while the latter kept on trying to remove the arm. When they reached her, they still had big smiles on their faces.

“Jooyeon!” Hyukjae put his arms around her in a hug.

“Hi oppa,” Jooyeon greeted, looking at Donghae to let him know she meant him too.

“Okay enough of that,” Donghae said, untangling her from Hyukjae and putting an arm around her instead.

“Tsk, possessive,” Hyukjae muttered.

“As I have a right to be,” Donghae proudly announced. This earned him a surprised look from Jooyeon, and a blush. Although they’d never really talked about it, there was some sort of understanding between them. He knew that she didn’t really like Jungsoo at the very least.

“Oppa,” she muttered shyly. His comment just made things harder for her.

Donghae grinned at her and squeezed her shoulders. “So what did you want to talk to us about?” He looked around. “Where are the others?”

“It’s just going to be us,” she said, shrugging Donghae’s arm off her as nicely as she could. “Let’s sit down.”

Hyukjae and Donghae glanced at each other and followed suit. Donghae sat down beside Jooyeon, while Hyukjae sat across from them.

“Is everything okay?” Hyukjae asked apprehensively.

“There’s something I want to say,” Jooyeon began after a deep breath and a pause. She decided to focus her gaze on Hyukjae’s shoulder. It was hard doing what she had to do. It became unbearable when she had to do it looking into their eyes.

“What is it?” Donghae prodded curiously, his hand on her arm.

Gently, she removed his hand on her. “I’m going to be spending more time with Jungsoo oppa,” she finally opened. She glanced at Hyukjae.

“But you always spend time with him,” Hyukjae pointed out with a shrug. “I don’t see where this is going.” He looked a bit confused.

“I won’t… I can’t hang out with you guys anymore,” she revealed timidly, clasping her hands together.

This was met with unexpected silence. Donghae and Hyukjae exchanged a glance and an unspoken communication went through them.

“We expected as much,” Donghae finally responded. She looked at him with surprise. He gave her a small, knowing smile. “You have been avoiding us a lot these days. More than the usual.”

“How much time do you need?” Hyukjae wanted to know.

She looked at both boys with confusion. She couldn’t understand how and why they were taking this lightly. “I… you’re okay with it?”

“We’re not okay with it,” Hyukjae corrected her. “But we figured it’s something you need to do.”

“But, oppa,” she started.

“How much time do you need?” Donghae interrupted her.

Jooyeon looked from Donghae to Hyukjae then back again. She felt like she had to be firmer. Jungsoo could see through pretenses. “You’re not listening to me,” she stated. “I can’t… I won’t,” she forced out, “hang out with you anymore.”

“Which one is it, can’t or won’t?” Hyukjae refined, his voice hard. He didn’t look so cheerful anymore. “Because, really, Jooyeon, we’re all trying to keep up with you and frankly we’re getting tired.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” she whispered, feeling hurt. But she had no right to be hurt. This was her fault. She had to do this. She didn’t want them to hate her.

“I really don’t understand what’s so hard about you not telling us what the deal is,” Hyukjae went on. “What do Eunhye and that Jungsoo have on you?”

When Jooyeon didn’t say anything, Hyukjae smirked, shaking his head. “I guess this goes to show how much faith you have in us.”

“Please don’t say that,” she said at once, looking at him with pleading us.

“I’m done with this.” Hyukjae stood up. “If you don’t want to have anything to do with us, fine. Go and hang out with your new friend as long as you want. But if something happens, don’t come running to me.” Without another word, he walked away.

Jooyeon watched him leave, feeling stunned. She never thought that she would see him that mad at her, disowning her. It hurt her deeply. But it was a mission accomplished. She turned to Donghae, who was still seated beside her. He seemed to be thinking of something to say.

“I can’t say I blame him,” Donghae finally spoke. “He cares a lot about you and yet you won’t let him take care of you.”

“I don’t blame him,” she said quietly.

“Is this really what you want?” he asked, looking closely at her. “Take everyone else out of the picture and just think of you. Is this what you would want to happen?”

Even if she took everyone out, there was still her past and that didn’t make things any different. She looked at him with apologetic eyes. “I’m sorry.”

He sighed. “I thought things were better,” he softly stated. She looked away. “What about us?” This was the very first time he ever voiced out anything about them. This was the first time they ever talked about their relationship, whatever it was.

He searched her eyes for some hope, but they weren’t there.

“I’m sorry to have mislead you,” Jooyeon expressed her regret. She bowed her head, her hair forming a curtain on the side of her face.

“I see.” Quietly, he stood up and gave her a bow. “I’m sorry to have wasted your time.”

Jooyeon sat there, biting her lip, shaking from controlling her tears from falling. She stared at the tabletop, taking deep breaths. She accomplished what she came to do. Jungsoo and Eunhye would’ve been proud of her if they had witnessed this. They would be happy. She was officially out of their lives. She squeezed her eyes shut and clasped her hands tightly together. The most important thing right now was that she was safe. Her secret was safe. She convinced herself that she would rather have them hate her because of her own doing rather than have them hate her because of a lie.

~ * ~

Taeyeon watched as her best friend sat down in the living room couch, staring at the television screen. A funny variety show was on, but she wasn’t laughing. She wasn’t even watching. Leaning against the doorway, Taeyeon wondered what was going on with Jooyeon. The boys had told her of what’s she’d said, what she’d done. She was waiting for an explanation for it, but it never came. It didn’t seem like she had any plans of telling her soon. Even she was being shut off.

She was positive that it had something to do with Jungsoo yet again. Things were never like this when he wasn’t around, not even Eunhye was ing about her staying away from Hyukjae. She shook her head. Seriously, she had to do something about that girl. Eunhye was Hyukjae’s girlfriend for a couple of months. It was a relationship that no one understood. Hyukjae was the nicest guy in school, which was why he was popular. And Eunhye… well, she was the same as she was at the present: stuck-up, selfish and a . Only a couple of people told Hyukjae straight to his face that he was in the wrong relationship, Heechul and Kyuhyun. Donghae wanted to interfere but didn’t want to ruffle any feathers. So when the relationship ended because Eunhye was found in a lip-lock with someone else, everyone felt relieved.

For the longest time, Eunhye ignored Hyukjae. So it was a mystery to everyone why, at the time when Jooyeon appeared, she suddenly wanted him back.

“What are you doing?” Jooyeon asked, interrupting Taeyeon’s musing.

Taeyeon straightened up and smiled a little. “I was just going out. Do you want to go with me?” She watched as Jooyeon thought about it.

“Where to?” Jooyeon wanted to know.

“Tiffany and I are meeting at the coffee shop near school. Go with us,” Taeyeon invited. “It’ll be just us girls.”

Jooyeon smiled then nodded. “Let me just get my phone.” She turned the TV off and stood up to go to their room.

~ * ~

Tiffany picked up her phone and read the message that Taeyeon sent her. She looked up in panic at Kangin then glanced at the boys, who were at the counter, ordering.

“What is it?” Kangin asked her curiously.

“You guys have to leave,” Tiffany ordered.

“What? But we just got here,” Siwon reminded her, looking confused. “Is Taeyeon coming already?”

“She is,” she answered. “With Jooyeon.”

“Uh-oh,” Kangin muttered. They knew very well that Jooyeon wasn’t going to be comfortable with them around.

“I’m not leaving,” Siwon stubbornly informed her, crossing his arms on his chest. He was annoyed at the fact that he can’t hang out with his girlfriend when her best friend’s around.

“Who’s leaving?” Hyukjae asked, taking a seat beside him, followed by Donghae and Heechul.

“Jooyeon’s coming with Taeyeon,” Tiffany blurted out. Hyukjae’s sunny face immediately turned expressionless, while Donghae merely cleared his throat and looked away.

“Is she now?” Heechul asked interestedly. They hadn’t seen Jooyeon outside of school for a while now. Even in school, it was rare for them to catch her in the hallways.

“But Taeyeon only managed to get her to come because she told her that it was only going to be us girls,” Tiffany explained. “She told me to make sure you guys aren’t here when they arrive.”

“Where are we supposed to go then?” Hankyung demanded. “Can’t we just pretend we were at the same place at the same time?”

Tiffany sighed. “I’m really sorry.” She glanced at her boyfriend, looking worried.

“Why don’t we just move to a more secluded table?” Kangin suggested, looking around.

“Let’s just go,” Hyukjae said, standing up with his drink. He walked to the corner table and slumped down on a seat. Donghae, Shindong and Hankyung followed without a word.

“Will you tell me how Jooyeon’s doing after your talk?” Heechul asked Tiffany.

She sighed, hesitating, then nodded. “Okay.”

Heechul stood up and left the table, pulling a protesting Siwon along with him. Kangin gave Tiffany a quick kiss then followed.

Shortly after, Taeyeon walked in the coffee shop with Jooyeon in tow. The boys watched as Tiffany greeted Jooyeon with a hug. Jooyeon actually looked relaxed. She was smiling and laughing as she flipped her long, brown hair over her shoulder. She looked like the Jooyeon they had first met.

“How are you?” Jooyeon asked Tiffany as they sat down.

Tiffany grinned, her eye smile showing. “I’m good. But how are you? I haven’t seen you outside of school. I miss hanging out with you,” she replied.

“Well here I am,” Jooyeon said, chuckling. “I take it that things between you and Kangin oppa are going well?”

“They are,” Tiffany agreed, giggling. “And I have you to thank for that.”

“I didn’t do anything. You introduced yourself to him,” Jooyeon recalled.

“He’s pretty whipped,” Taeyeon teased.

Jooyeon watched as Tiffany slapped Taeyeon’s arm, while she retorted with a hit of her own. The two girls laughed as they continued on teasing each other. Tiffany had gone on teasing Taeyeon about bossing Siwon and the other boys around.

Jooyeon chuckled. “I missed you guys,” she honestly admitted. Jungsoo wasn’t pleasant company. Most of the time, he just used her for appearances and for when he was bored. She hated being with him. She hated him even more now than she did in the past.

Tiffany and Taeyeon turned to look at her, smiles still on their faces. “Joo, you just don’t know how much we miss you,” Tiffany relayed.

“Everyone misses you,” Taeyeon emphasized with a nod.

“Yes, can’t you come back to hanging out with us?” Tiffany pleaded. “Kangin oppa has been bringing asking me to learn Starcraft. I love him and all, but I can’t learn Starcraft. I can’t. So you need to come back and just play with him already. I don’t care if you beat him all the time.”

The girls ended up laughing at this.

It had been a while since Donghae had seen her this close. Although it seemed like it was yesterday when she had told them to leave her alone, it felt like it’s been forever since he last talked to her, since he last saw her smile with so much warmth and sincerity. Sighing, he wished he understood what was happening. He wished he knew what to do.

“Hey, isn’t that Kyu?” Shindong broke into his thoughts. He was just about to wave at him to call him over when, after scanning the room, Kyuhyun walked straight to the table of Taeyeon, Tiffany and Jooyeon.

The boys watched in astonishment as Jooyeon looked surprised at him being there, but welcomed the intrusion by having him sit beside her. Even the girls were taken aback at this development.

Why was Kyuhyun allowed to go near her? Why was she talking to him and not the others? Why not Hyukjae?

Why not me? Donghae asked himself.