Prologue

Once upon a time, my heart was a fortress. It had walls so high that it kept everyone out. I locked the winter out, kept the summers humid away but still basked in its warmth. It was a very complicated fortress. Some say I was running away, I say it was my defense mechanism. (I am a tiny person; running will take a long time.)

I could survive with broken bones, but some people have sharper lips than knifes. It is not something I like to gloat about, but while my body had nine lives, my heart had one. It was easy to kill me.

My fortress had a name. Without him, I could not live. I was dependant on something that was not real to everyone else, but was second nature to me. His name was D.O; a foreign name for a foreign person.

That was how I lived.

It is better now. But it was only possible because of these specific people I’m about to name. You must be hurting now. That must be the only reason why I’m telling it to you. Listen to my story carefully, but I beg of you not to pick on a thread that has been sown on so delicately.

While you think I do not understand your pain, the me back then has thought so too. Because I had no patience and no trust, it took me longer to get my heart in the right place. It took me longer to learn how to protect the things and the people that are important to me.

I’m starting.

From the top, we have Kim Junmyeon. Kim Junmyeon is small, petite but his heart is furiously kind and aggressively protective over the people he loves. He is a mere two years older than me, but he took care of me like a mother would have. Junmyeon is not strong by strength, but by his will.

I gave him such a hard time in the past. I like to think that I had made up for it in the years that past, but I still call him up every few weekends to tell him how much he means to me and the words he would say would never change. It’s alright now, Kyungsoo. It’s alright now. People tell me that my lips are heart shaped. It’s a perfect way to smile at Junmyeon.

The two people that come after Junmyeon are of course Byun Baekhyun, a peculiar male with a heart made of gold and Kim Jongdae, who takes care of people wordlessly. Baekhyun was physically incapable at expressing his feelings, but I knew he cared. His hands were always stretched ahead, ready to catch me if I ever fall. Fall, I did. And catch me, he did.

Kim Jongdae was loud, voice challenging even Baekhyun, but Jongdae also cared too much. He loved too easily and in contrast to Baekhyun, Jongdae’s genuine concern can always be seen. Jongdae’s volume makes up for all the times he silently cleaned up the mess I made. One could not live without the other – that was how Jongdae and Baekhyun operated. Even my fortress shook when I realized how huge their love was. It was like Bella Swan and Edward Cullen; when she moves, he moves. Yes, that kind of theory.

Then comes Kim Minseok and Lu Han, two of the strongest people I have ever met. Minseok has always been special from the start. Born on the third week of Spring, he was a hyung I could rely on. I adored him so much; I could never call him anything else but hyung. That was how much I relied on him and admired him, though I have to admit that it was particularly because of his strength.

Of all the other people I have mentioned, it was Minseok who put my heart back in its right place. He taught me the difference between violence and fighting. He taught me the difference between cowardly bullying and fighting for something or someone precious to you. It was Minseok who taught me that real strength comes from the heart, not the arms. Of course the others played a part in his teaching but it was Minseok's face that I remember clearest; his worried smile and his warm hands around mine.

Luhan was peculiar (not Baekhyun-peculiar but peculiar-peculiar). Luhan stood a few inches taller than Minseok but his presence was huge when around the smaller male. I couldn’t grasp his importance to Minseok the first time I came across them, but it grew more significant over time.

Only a few months younger than Minseok, Luhan had broad shoulders and firm thighs from years of soccer training but he gave off that vibe as though you could break his bones just by pushing him.

The thing about Minseok was that everyone feared him. I didn’t understand why but of course I know now. Minseok had light steps, always walking on the balls of his feet with hands indecisive on where he should hold Luhan. Minseok was naturally tiny and adorable that could make you clench your fist so hard that you’d want to punch him or squish his cheeks. It’s a safe bet to say that nobody but Luhan came close to doing either.

Minseok was kind by nature but overly protective over Luhan. Minseok had sharper hands than he had teeth. I’ve seen Minseok fight. He was so small and fast that each fight could only last ever so long. Minseok was strange in the way where he took each punch he gave to heart, and engraved it there.

I used to wonder what Minseok saw in Luhan. In my memory (which is heavily biased), I don’t remember ever disrespecting Luhan but nothing in me could fathom why Luhan could be loved so dearly by someone as special as Minseok.

Now, I think the reason why Minseok was (still is) so infatuated and in love with Luhan was because Luhan appeared when needed and disappear without waiting for a word of thanks. Luhan protected with his heart. If Luhan wanted, he could use his arms, but I only ever remember Luhan protecting so insistently with his heart. He has always been stubborn. Luhan's charm is that he knows how to love sincerely.

I think that’s about enough about Minseok and Luhan. I will introduce you to the last person in my list that now stands as the most important person in the world to me. Kim Jongin has always been a late bloomer.

Jongin stood behind the rest in the beginning, hostile and unapproachable. I called him weak at the start, I picked fights with him just to tickle his funny bone but I could never imagine that the strong me would be the one relying fully on the weak Jongin.

Jongin still keeps it a secret. I don’t know what made him snap one day and decide that I was worth it – as he called it- and pushing past Minseok to take my hands into his. Jongin might have been young, but he was decisive. He set his eyes on what he wanted, and would die trying to achieve it. Along the way, I did hurt him and shook his faith in me, but he gave me trust – trust I did not deserve- and still stand by me till today.

But what got us together wasn’t just Jongin’s trust. Jongin turned out to be someone I knew from a long time ago. He turned out to be the only person I had ever cared about before I turned cold and hateful. I called it luck. Jongin called it destiny (ewww why, Jongin). He told me that I came back to him because next to him was where I belonged from the start.

If Minseok taught me how to be strong, Jongin taught me how to love. He taught me that there are no fairy tales in this world but there are those little happy moments that we are entitled to have. Of all the things Jongin taught me, he taught me that even the lowest of human beings have a value in life.

I have seen the cruelest side of humanity that this world has to offer but I have also come to realize they went through things we did not. Sometimes it does not justify their deeds, sometimes it does. But it was at least something that I could hold on to as I escaped the prison I had built for myself.

I thought my fortress could not be destroyed. I didn’t realize that it just hasn’t met Kim Jongin.

xxx

Now, I have introduced you to the six people that are precious to me. What you really need to know is not who they are to me now but how they came about being who they are to me today. This is my story; something I’ve kept dear in my heart.

This is the story of how shabby, unkempt teenagers learn the meaning of independence and comradeship through a series of unfortunate events. Strong brotherhood would be formed but along the way, tears would also be spilled and hearts full of pride would say words they don’t mean.

Please protect it dearly because once I put it out in words for the first time, it is no longer my story. It would be our story. 

A/N: Yes, I just turned this into KaiSoo. OOOOOPS. Well, at least now you have more chances of me updating this story. (LMFAO last updated was in 2012, how did that happen) I changed the story a little too, of course since SJ's characteristics do not fit EXO's. I had to re-edit again because uhm, some things happened. A member left in real life and it was very hard to find a replacement for a member my heart just cannot write about anymore. I ended up not replacing him at all. I just...won't...write...him. Junmyeon is in the end, straight as a metal rod! WELL MORE CHANCES OF ME BANGING IT UNTIL WE BOTH HAVE CONCUSSIONS. Wow kay, bye! (My name is Haneul in case you guys have forgot since it has been two years lol) Un-betaed and my English is still as horrible as two years ago.