The lone lightbulb dimly illuminated the dining table and its occupant. Chen sat at his spot, trying to memorise his lines for their china showcase.

It was one of those sleepless night before a life changing event, which was how much Chen reguarded the showcase. Those five gruesome years of training and preparation had boiled down to this. Debuting under a global company like SM, he had expectations to meet, both others and his own.

Chen had blamed his lack of sleep due to nervousness, but he knew that it was more than that.

Pressure. The fact that everyone was expecting them to live up to the name of their sunbaes was enough to make him practise until the wee hours of the morning. He found it strange that the other M members could actually sleep on a night like this. But then again, he could guess why.

Unlike Xiumin and him, the others did'nt have to worry about the lauguage barrier.

When the company had informed Chen that he was going to debut in EXO-M, they had given him a six month heads up to learn a new language. He thought Xiumin and him could be study buddies, but that hyung was'nt worried about anything, except his bun supplies.

"Relax." Xiumin had once told Chen. "Learning mandrin is like eating a baozi. You can't force it." He had'nt asked Xiumin for advice ever since.

Chen tried hard. He really did. But that six months was only enough for him to learn the basics. Half the time he could'nt understand what those talk show host were saying, let alone answer their questions. Even Xiumin, with his almost non-existant mandarin, had more screentime then him. Chen was'nt jealous, he just did'nt want to remain as 'the member who could only hit high notes.' That little insecurity had manifested into hate over time. Hate towards the company for giving him that extra burden.

Why couldn't they find someone else? Someone who had exposure to Mandrin longer then a mere six months.

Chen ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. His was making slow progress with his lines. He reached out and drank his cup of coffee. Usually, that warm earthly aroma would calm his nerves. But tonight, it tasted too cold and bitter for his liking. The wall clock's ticking too loud, the white washed dorm walls suddenly seem so stifling.

He needed to get out.
----

Chen found himself walking along that familiar path by the Han river. It was deserted, just the way he liked it. The cold air made him relax a little

Chen sat on the steps, looking up at the sky, the sound of his breathing the only sound audible. He thought about the showcase again and let out a heavy sigh.

"Rough night?"

Chen glanced towards his side, more annoyed then surprised. The girl was sitting on the steps with her knees pulled up to her chest. She wore a white benie with a blue hoodie and black jeans.

"You wanna talk about it?"

Chen gave the girl a look as if to say "i don't talk to stangers." The girl laughed, realising her forwardness.

"Mian. My name's Ri ah. Whats yours?" She beamed at him.

"Chen." He replied, slightly annoyed. He came here to be alone, but ended up getting bothered instead.

"Look Ri ah shii, i have alot of things on my mind right now. So could you leave me alone."

One would have mistaken this as rude, but Ri ah knew better. She just sat quietly beside Chen.

"You know they say talki-"

"Theres nothing to talk about! You don't know anything about me, about half the things im going through!" Chen finally cracked. The hate that he had bottled up for so long came tumbling out.

"What do you know huh?! You-"

"I know more than you think." she whispered. Chen looked into her eyes and he saw sincerity. He knew he could trust and confide in her. He had never told anyone, not even s, about his feelings and insecurites. This girl, she was somthing else. Before he knew it, he was telling her everything.
----

Ri ah sat next to Chen, silently listening to the boy. He was confused, angry and lost, those feelings she knew all too well.

"-and the worst part is not knowing if it'll be worth it in the end." Chen laid his head on her shoulder, his tears dampening Ri ah's shirt.

The pair sat in silence for a while. The warmth that she radiated was comforting and for the first time in a long time, Chen felt at peace.
----

"I should really go now. You know, showcase." Chen akwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

"Its alright." Ri ah gave him a warm smile. He felt as if a burden had been lifted off him.

He turned to leave but suddenly realised he had yet to thank her properly.

"Hey i was thinki-" Chen spun around and saw that he was alone. There was no sign of that girl.

"Strange." Chen shrugged and walked home. Suddenly, he felt somthing in his pocket. It was a note.

"It will be worth it Jongdae. Trust me."

"Jongdae? But how did she know my real name?"
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