Loving My Sister's Boyfriend -- SonElf_EXOtic

~*|~*| Forever Young Review Shop |*~|*~ { Busy }

Story Link: Loving My Sister's Boyfriend

Author: SonElf_EXOtic

 

Title: (4/5) –It caught my eye, but it was a bit plain.

Foreword & Description: (8/10) – It was the right length, but the description was in the foreword, and it was a bit confusing.

Poster, Background, Trailer, Appearance: (4/5) – You have both Poster and BG, so full points for you! 

Chapter titles: ( /5) – No Chapter titles yet.

Spelling & Grammar: (28/35) – First, let me show you your mistakes before I comment on anything.

 

"Krystal and Yoona is not in the same class. Luhan and Yoona is... (and) Luhan and Yoona is like BFFs."

The underlined 'is's should be 'are's. When there are two or more subjects in one sentence, you should use are instead of is.

 

"People around them always gossips them out."

It should be, 'People around them always gossip about them.'

 

"So do Yoona."

So does Yoona.

 

"Yoona is actually a-nerd-alike because she wears glasses and all"

Yoona is actually nerd-like(or: nerd look-a-like) because she wears glasses and everything.

 

"secretsly" is supposed to be spelled secretly. 

 

Considering that English was not your first language, you did good on your grammer.

Plot: (9/10) – It's pretty easy to follow. A bit confusing at some points, but still very easy to follow.

Originality: (10/10) – Pretty original, but feels like I've seen an idea like this.

Character Development: ( /10)  No Character Development.

Flow: ( /10)  No Flow Yet.

 

Total Before Bonuses: (83/100)

(63/75) Good job :)

 

BONUS!!! – Things that are just the reviewer's personal preference. –

 

Writing Style: (/5)

Enjoyment: (/5) 

Anticipation: (15/15) – I am very anxious to see what will happen next!

 

Total After Bonuses: (98/115) Good Job!

 

Reviewd by: WoAiDaesung

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Author's Thoughts
Kakurine039
This will be going on a short hiatus due to several of the members being extremely busy with school work and several other things
Read More →
Back to Top ↑

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
officiaLinspirit #1
Hey!~ My shop is new. Can we be affies? Here's the link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/466873/dark-chocolate-review-shop-open-and-hiring-reviewshop
anahus #2
I don't know if you guys still runs the shop or not, but I would like to cancel my request.. :))))
thank you.
kyouyas #3
Chapter 12: Thank you so much for the honest review! Also, thank you for subscribing! Going to credit you now :)
bbyong0901 #4
Username of author(s): bbyong0901
Title of Story: Lost In Fairytale
Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/144223/lost-in-fairytale-2pm-b1a4-blockb-infinite-superjunior-you-fiction
Genre / Theme: romance/angst/one-shot
Pairings included:any kpop idol & reader/oc , any kpop pairing
Rated? For what?:no
Groups involved in your story: any kpop group
Is English your first language?: no
Reviewer: 8symmetrical8
Anything Else?: BoomShakaLaka.
mimi81797 #5
Username of author(s): mimi81797
Title of Story: My Mind Says Hate, But My Heart Screams Love
Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/279847/my-mind-says-hate-but-my-heart-screams-love-romance-shinee-forbiddenlove-smentertainment-pledisent-hellovenus-romeoandjuliet
Genre / Theme: romance
Pairings included: Key and Ara
Rated? For what?: not rated
Groups involved in your story: SHINee, Hello Venus
Is English your first language?: yes
Reviewer: --fallenangel
Anything Else?: I update from mobile because computers do not seem to cooperate with me so it is kinda hard to fix some things. *BoomShakaLaka* :3 thx!
UKiss_Shin_Soohyun #6
Username of author(s): UKiss_Shin_Soohyun
Title of Story: What Have I Done?
Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/244107/what-have-i-done-gikwang-joondoong-suicide-mpreg-hunhan-abortion Genre / Theme: drama
Pairings included: Joondoong and HunHan
Rated? or what?: M
Groups involved in your story: MBLAQ, BAP, EXO K AND M, Super Junior, UKISS, and Infintie(?)
Is English your first language?: Yes
Reviewer: Kakurine039
Anything Else?: I love your stories! Fighting^^
SHINeeOppas #7
Username of author(s): SHINeeOppas

Title of Story: Secrets Within

Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/180629/secrets-within-infinite-teentop

Genre / Theme: Mystery, Vampires

Pairings included: L.Joe and OC

Rated? For what?: Nope ^_^

Groups involved in your story: Infinite and Teen Top

Is English your first language?: Yes

Reviewer: Taeminnies_wifey or 8symmetrical8 (Whoever's available to do my review.)

Anything Else?: BoomShakaLaka. Oh, I have a question. Are you reviewing my whole story? Thank You!
SujuElfSS501Fan4Life #8
Chapter 10: @WoAiDaesung I'm seriously at lost for words! Over 100 points? I'm on the recommended list? Oh my god, I cannot contain my feels! Thanks for subscribing to my story! I honestly don't know what to say right now but I really do have to admit that I was smiling like a fool when I read the review! The constant POV switching, I'll try to make it so that it's not so confusing in the future ^^ Thanks for taking the time to review my story and I hope that you continue to stick with my story till it's end! Thanks again for reviewing my story!
kyouyas #9
Username of author(s): kpoplistener
Title of Story: Aish! That Jung Daehyun!
Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/249776/aish-that-jung-daehyun-yongguk-zelo-jongup-bap-daehyun-youngjae-kimnamjoo
Genre / Theme: fluff
Pairings included: DaeJoo (DaehyunxNamjoo)
Rated? For what?: nope
Groups involved in your story: B.A.P, EXO (minor character), and many more to come
Is English your first language?: Yes
Reviewer: Any ^^
Anything Else?: BoomShakaLaka
 
Back to Top ↑