Second Chance
Second Chance
“What’s your plan?”
Her composed eyes were fixed on his emotionless gaze. She took a deep breath and said, “I’m keeping it.”
~*~
“Have you got your ultrasound and blood test results?”
“Yes,” the girl said. She grabbed her plastic bag and took out a big envelope to be given to Victoria.
Victoria opened the envelope and took out a pile of A4 papers. “I just need the written results,” Victoria said and returned the envelope, “you can keep the pictures.” The girl put the remainder back into her bag. “Would you like a copy of these results?”
The girl paused as her eyes were on the papers. She looked up and shook her head. “It’s ok. Thanks.”
“Your Nuchal Translucency scan is low risk, which means the chance of the baby getting Down’s Syndrome or other chromosomal abnormality is low,” Vic explained and the girl simply smiled in response.
She proceeded to discuss healthy diet, feeding plan, and the booklets related to pregnancy that she gave earlier. She estimated the due date from the last day of her client’s menstrual period, giving them 8 June 2012. Next, she asked the basic questions regarding the client's medical, social, mental, and obstetric histories. It was a routine.
“Is this first pregnancy?” Vic asked with a wide smile that she always plastered on her face when engaging with clients.
“Yes,” the girl said with a simper.
Vic noticed the way her smile didn’t reach her eyes. Looking back at her file, she was only nineteen years old. And not married. Not that it was any of Vic’s business, but she could just expect what lied ahead for this girl. Her hair was dark with some blonde streaks, unlike young girls these days who sport the long luscious hair. She was wearing a casual sleeveless shirt and a pair of knee-length jeans. Despite her age, she seemed sensible and listened to Vic attentively.
“Have you got good support at home after the birth of this baby?” Vic asked.
“Yes, my mum will be around to help me,” she answered.
When she looked into Vic's eyes, Vic just knew this girl would have no support from her partner. Her job required her to ask details on these matters, hence she proceeded, “What about your partner?”
The girl’s eyes softened for a second before they hardened, building up the barrier she had established since she decided on it. Shortly, she replied, “We broke up.” A few seconds pause followed before she carried on, “When he found out I was pregnant, he broke up with me.”
“I see...” Vic nodded and focused all her attention on the girl. Silence lingered in the room as she waited to see whether the girl would continue.
When she saw the midwife’s brown eyes oozing onto her, she realised that someone was actually listening. “I’m fine,” she let out a smile, “I want this baby, so...” She shrugged and averted her gaze, a sign Vic took as no more discussion on this topic.
It was not uncommon for clients to be wary and distrustful at the initial meeting. It takes time to build a relationship and trust in someone, and that Vic understood. Though, she was not worried because whether or not the girl opened up would determine the care she was to receive.
“Would you like to join the Young Mothers’ Group?” She took out a brochure from the miniature shelf on the table, just next to the computer, and handed it over. The girl accepted the brochure and her eyes glanced from the paper to Vic back and forth. “It’s held every two weeks in the parenting room at the end of the corridor, starting from your twentieth week. You can meet girls your age and you can share your experience together.” The girl nodded and Vic explained, “What we do in the group is we have discussions about pregnancy, your symptoms, and your concern. We also talk about the labour, including what sort of pain relief is available for you, then we also cover what happens after the baby is born. It’s a good prep class to prepare you for what lies ahead. We usually have a one to two-hour session, depending on how many there are in the group and then we’ll get each of you into a room to do your routine check. Women who attended the group have found it beneficial--actually, we have a reunion this Saturday, you can come and ask about their experience, if you like.”
The girl seemed fond of the idea and inquired, “Will you be running the class?”
“Yes, with my partner, Yuri,” Vic clarified, keeping her smile intact.
The girl took another brief look at the pamphlet, front and back, and agreed to attend the class. Vic then gave her a questionnaire on her feelings in the past seven days to assess her current mental health. The result obtained was not as high as Vic feared and expected, however considering her age and the lack of support from her partner, a referral to the social worker should still be offered.
“Would you like to see the social worker? She can come to your house, so you don’t have to come to the hospital to see her.”
The girl pursed her lips and pondered over it for a moment. “Will I have to see her on a regular basis?”
“Depends. If after the first meeting your condition necessitates long-term counselling, we recommend that you do see her, but if you believe that you can manage on your own and refuse it, then you can and she will just do the follow-up after the baby is born.”
It took her another while to think about it and then she decided with, “I think I can cope at the moment, but if I change my mind, can I still see her?”
“Of course,” Vic answered and the girl nodded to show that she understood.
After the computer work and paper work to be done are finished, Vic made an ultrasound form for a morphology scan to be performed at 19 weeks and advised her to call the Radiology Department to book a time.
“Is the Radiology just at the back of the hospital?”
Vic nodded to verify and gave her a map of the hospital to keep.
“Let’s listen to baby,” Vic beckoned her onto the bed. The girl stood up and Vic stopped her to ask, “Would you like to record it?”
“Oh, I can do that?” Her eyes were wide from surprise, but she seemed to be rather excited with the idea.
Vic chuckled. “Yes.”
After she dug up her phone from her bag and lied on the bed, Vic palpated her flat abdomen to find the top of the fundus.
“When will I look pregnant?” the girl asked, her doe eyes on Vic.
“Hm... everyone's different; you have different body shapes, but usually it will be more noticeable around twenty-four weeks.”
Vic retrieved a radio device called Doppler from a tray attached to the bottom of the bed and a gel bottle. She squeezed the clear, blue gel onto the transducer before placing it on the girl’s skin. Her thumb from the other hand turned the speaker on and a whooshing sound was heard. She kept the transducer on one spot and directed the flat surface to the top, left, bottom... at the right, a rapid beat resonated from the speaker. Vic watched the girl’s lips parted and astonishment gleamed in her eyes. The midwife’s lips pulled up at the familiar scene; most first-time mothers usually express the same reaction.
“That’s baby. He or she sounds happy.” The girl grinned, for the first time at that appointment. She pressed a button on her iPhone and Vic raised the Doppler to the phone receiver.
“How many weeks am I again?” the girl asked after she finished recording.
Vic wiped her the gel off her and the transducer. “Fourteen weeks. So every Wednesday is your completed week.”
After Vic gave the girl her contact number, like all the midwives in caseload practice do, the girl packed up all the booklets and ultrasound form into a folder neatly, not forgetting to note the next appointment down on a small, black kikki.K diary. Vic noted mentally how the girl seemed meticulous and organised. Vic booked an appointment for a week after the ultrasound and inquired the final question.
Midwifery Caseload Practice involves a one-to-one continuity of care provided by the midwives. The women see the same midwife throughout their pregnancy and the midwife will be looking after them during their labour, delivery, and post-birth. The midwives work in pairs for situations where if one has to attend a birth, the other would do the other appointments for her partner. In contrast, when a woman is cared for under the standard care system, they don't always see the same midwife.
“Is there anything you want to ask before you go?”
All of these are routine booking appointments procedure which Vic had become accustomed to. She looked on expectantly at the girl and the latter’s lips pulled up into a reassuring smile.
“Not at the moment, but can I contact you when I do?”
“Sure.” She sent the girl off to the door and said, “Nice to meet you, Amber. I’ll see you in six weeks.”
The girl smiled back at the beaming midwife. “Thank you, and likewise.”
~*~
“Hi, how are you?” Vic greeted her at the twenty weeks’ appointment.
Amber had an ultrasound last week and they were going to review the result today. She also started at the Young Mothers’ Group, but she did not converse much with the others during the class. Perhaps since it was her first time, the girl was rather timid.
“Good,” she took out a piece of paper with a blue stripe on the right side from her folder and placed it on Vic’s desk. She seemed more relaxed today, but remained reticent to talk more than she needed to. It seemed like she wanted to share, however the fact that they were still strangers held her back.
“Did you find out the baby’s gender?”
Amber smiled and shook her head. “I didn’t want to know.”
“Oh, that’s good. Surprise baby!” Vic remarked and took a look at the morphology scan result. “Baby’s good. Good size, organs are normal and functioning well, placenta is not in the way of the birth route,, everything’s good. Ten out of ten.”
Amber let out a small chuckle.
“So, how are things going?” Vic enquired. She wanted to know more about this girl before her considering she would be looking after her for the rest of her pregnancy and during her labour and delivery.
“Alright,” Amber answered. “I had some pain on my lower tummy, here,” she pointed to the left side of her stomach as her forehead made a frown, “Is that normal?”
“Perfectly normal. There are ligaments holding our uterus up in here,” Vic placed her hands on her stomach, “When you’re pregnant and the baby’s growing, the ligaments stretch to support the baby. It’s stretching pain, very normal,” she assured Amber.
“I see,” Amber said, taking it all in. “I’m also getting nosebleeds occasionally, is that normal?” Her lips twitched downwards, expressing her worries of these new things she was experiencing.
Vic nodded. “Some women can get it. It’s your hormonal fluctuations that caused the blood vessels in your nose to expand and the increased blood supply to accommodate the baby puts more pressure on those vessels, making them break more easily.”
Amber nodded again. “And can my mum come to the group next week?”
“Of course! Bring her in. We’d love to meet her,” Vic said.
Amber gave an innocent smile of relief and Vic proceeded with the appointment before taking her back to the education room to rejoin Yuri's and the other young mothers.
“So, you can have the gas, pethidine, or epidural,” Yuri’s voice could be heard from the door. She noticed Vic and Amber’s arrival and threw them her eye-smile.
Vic took another girl out as Amber took her seat again. At the end of the day, Amber did not talk much with the other girls, as Yuri had told Vic during their debrief session at the end of the day. The girl seemed rather reserved, though she wasn't shy to ask Yuri questions.
“She’ll be okay, Vic,” Yuri droned. “Don’t worry.”
“I know,” Vic drawled. “She’s my first young, single mother, though.”
The young mothers usually went to Yuri, but this time Vic received some share as well considering the number was increasing throughout their area.
Yuri shook her head. “Don’t get too attached. We can only have professional relationship with these women.” She stood up with her empty mug and approached the sink.
“I’m not,” Vic argued. “I’m just doing my job, looking after her. I just want to do this right.”
Yuri had been in the Caseload Pratice business in the most of her career life, ten years to be precise. Vic started off in the standad care of the hospital before she decided that she wanted to work in a situation where she could give a one-to-one care to women throughout their childbearing journey.
Yuri swung her neck to face Vic. “Yes, but our role is to support them and encourage them to be independent and gain confidence in their ability to be a mother.”
Vic contemplated in Yuri’s words and nodded in agreement. She was just worried for the one question she asked Amber at booking, “Is there anyone you can talk to about your feelings or worries?”
Amber was silent for a moment before she spoke up, “I have my sister, Jackie, but we recently had a fight. She isn’t supportive of my decision to have this baby. I know she’s just worried because I broke up with the father, but she isn’t talking to me right now.”
“What about your mum?”
“I’m not that close with her.” She shrugged and gave Vic a minuscule smile. “But I’ll be fine. She’s very supportive, that’s all I need.”
Yuri carried on, taking Vic out of her reverie, “Trust takes time, Vic. She’ll come around. She has to, otherwise we won’t be able to do our job. Look, I know you’re worried about her emotional well-being, but just do what you can. By the end of the day, all we want is a healthy mother and baby. If she isn’t cooperating, well then it’s not our fault.”
Vic thought over the logic in Yuri’s words of wisdom and gave her partner a smile. “You’re right. I can only do my best.”
“Yes,” Yuri agreed, striding over to the table Vic was at, “and worry about Krystal. Remember she was diabetic last pregnancy and her baby was four kilos?” Vic nodded, trying to retain her neutral expression though she remembered how sorry she felt for Krystal. Krystal lost a lot of blood from the tear she received. “We don’t want that to happen again.”
“Oh yes, I have to chase up her thirty weeks’ scan.” Vic made a move to stand up.
“And I have to arrange another ultrasound for Nicole at twenty-four weeks’.”
At the mention of the other young mother who was seeing Yuri, Vic remembered, “I read her ultrasound earlier. Her baby has no left kidney.”
Yuri nodded and left the tea room to do what she needed to do as Vic followed suit.
Yuri’s right.
There are other things to worry about.
~*~
“You're doing well, Krystal,” Vic encouraged.
Krystal’s partner was holding tightly to her hand, his face tensed in worry as she panted and applied all her power down there. Vic felt her abdomen and took a look at the CTG trace. Baby’s heart rate was rising.
“Krystal, no contraction, just rest.” Krystal rested her back limply on the bed and attempted to draw in oxygen. She had had epidural administered just two hours ago and when Vic went to check her pads, she saw the baby's head just sitting there. Vic immediately turned the epidural infusion off and told Krystal to push.
Krystal cried. “I can’t do this, Vic. Just give me a caesarean, please.”
“Yes, you can, Krystal,” Vic countered instantly, “Besides, it's too late for a caesarean.” Krystal had been telling Vic that she would not be able to push the baby out, but Vic knew it was out of fear of that third-degree tear to reoccur. Not that she blamed her; having a tear is unpleasant enough, having the injury to extend to the sphincter is agony.
Third-degree tear is a perineal injury involving partial or complete sphincter muscles. There are three classifications: 3A level indicates less than 50% of the external sphincter thickness is affected, 3B implies to more than 50% of the external sphincter, and 3C suggests both of the internal and external sphincters are disrupted.
“Now, Kris, I would like you to help me move Krystal up a bit further to the top of the bed because baby isn’t happy. You’re too flat on your back, Krystal,” Vic explained. Kris quickly did what Vic said and the latter suggested Krystal to put her hands under her thighs, her chin on her chest, and push to her bottom when the contraction came.
She pressed the buzzer to get Yuri into the room and tell her to call Lu Han, the Paediatrician. Since Krystal had Gestational Diabetes during her pregnancy, the Paediatrician had to take a look at the baby’s condition to ensure all is well. After thirty minutes of pushing, Krystal's baby girl was finally born and taken to the resuscitaire to be examined by Lu Han. Meanwhile, Vic checked Krystal’s perineum and announced to her the happy news that she was intact, no stitches needed this time, and that she didn't lose much blood at this point of time. Krystal exhaled a sigh of relief and turned to Kris with a smile. Kris patted her hair affectionately and wiped the sweat off her forehead.
Gestational Diabetes Mellitus (GDM) is a high level of glucose in the blood occurring during pregnancy caused by dysfunctional insulin receptors, which may be triggered by the presence of human placental lactagen that decreases the sensitivity of the receptors. The babies have increased risks of having large birth weight for gestational age, low blood sugar (because high supply of glucose was transferred from the mother through the placenta during pregnancy, once the cord is cut after the birth, their blood sugar can drop significantly), con abnormalities, etc. Pregnancy reduces insulin sensitivity and normally, the body is able to increase its insulin secretion to overcome this problem and maintain maternal blood sugar level within normal range, otherwise GDM will develop and existent diabetes will be aggravated.
“You did well,” Kris said with a relieved smile.
Vic smiled at the lovely family as Lu Han gave them their baby to enjoy.
Every child is conceived either in love or lust, born in pain, followed by joy or--sometimes--remorse. Having a child is definitely not easy, but women live with it.
~*~
As Vic was registering the baby’s birth into the hospital system, Ellie Bass, a senior midwife, came over with a yellow card, the card women bring to their appointment for the health professionals she sees to record her progress.
She waved the card in front of Yuri, Victoria, and Jasmine Belt, another senior midwife working in the labour ward. “A twenty-eight week-er, nineteen years old, came in with post-coital bleeding.”
Post-coital bleeding refers to bleeding or spotting that occurs following ual . During pregnancy, this is caused by increased blood supply to accommodate the demand of the growing baby and the increase in hormones relaxin and progesterone which soften the muscles around the body.
Yuri took the card from Ellie and her brows creased. “Hey, Vic, this is your woman,” Yuri stated, passing the yellow card over to Vic.
Vic ceased typing and swirled the swivel chair to Yuri to take the card. She frowned and read, “Amber Josephine Liu.”
“Here’s the notes,” Ellie announced, putting the cream covered notes on the bench. “Oh, she is doing Caseload.”
“Yes, I’ve been seeing her,” Vic said as Ellie handed over the notes. "El, are you sure it's post-coital bleeding?"
“Yeah. She said it herself, she had last night.”
Vic immediately did not like the way Ellie told her Amber's story. It was as if she had no respect for the girl just because she was young.
“She doesn’t have a partner, though,” Yuri mused thoughtfully, looking over Vic’s shoulder. “They broke up at the beginning of the pregnancy.”
Jasmine and Ellie snorted.
Ellie made a snark remark, “A -crazed teenager.”
“Kids these days,” Jasmine said, rolling her eyes, and returned to writing her notes.
It dismayed both Vic and Yuri the way they were being judgmental of Amber. They didn’t know what a sweet, lovely young lady she was. They had no rights to say that to her. Yuri and Vic exchanged glances and kept quiet, though they were itching to say something inside.
“I've put her on the CTG. Do you want me to see her, Vic?” Ellie asked.
Cardiotocography (CTG) machine is an electronic form of foetal heart rate monitoring. A trace of the foetal heart rate and maternal contractions is obtained.
No, thank you, if you’re going to talk about her behind her back.
Vic turned to Yuri. “How’s Suzy?”
“Her cervix was eight centimetres dilated when I checked half-an-hour ago. She’s doing well for a primip,” Yuri answered, looking for a Fluid Balance Chart from a small shelf on the desk.
Primipara: women having their first baby.
“Do you mind to answer the buzzer if Krystal calls? I just want to see Amber for a moment.”
“Go for it,” Yuri prodded her.
“I’ll go see her,” Vic informed Ellie and the latter gave her two thumbs up.
“I better go see my woman and see how she is,” Ellie said and went off to Room 3 after washing her hand with a gel of hand sanitiser.
Vic had been seeing Amber every two weeks at the Young Mothers’ Group. Her condition improved and she seemed happier since she felt the baby’s first kick. Vic had always been intrigued looking at these first time mothers’ expressions: curious, joy, realisation, and so on. Amber’s mother was lovely when Vic met her. Amber also began to be more opened to Vic. Her sister, Jackie, had finally come to terms with her decision and agreed to help her around when the baby came. Vic had also met Jackie and she was as excited as Amber.
When Vic entered the assessment room, Amber lifted her head up and Vic saw her eyes and brow were etched with worries, and something else she wasn't sure of. Vic greeted her as normal and Amber appeared slightly relieved to see her. She told Vic she had turned up at the emergency department and when she told them of the condition, they easily told her it was post-coital bleeding. She requested them to assess the baby, but they were very busy and they sent her up to the Delivery Suite to see the midwives.
"So, what really happened?" Vic inquired.
Amber brought her gaze down to the floor as Vic noticed soft rosy pink colour on her cheeks. "I-I met someone... Well, we didn't just met, he is my childhood friend..." she stuttered, not due to the reluctance of telling the story, but out of fear of being judged.
Vic gasped and beamed genuinely. "That's so great, Amber!" She squeezed Amber's hands to show her support. "You deserve it." She does. After that irresponsible young man left her, she deserves a second chance.
"He moved to Melbourne back in junior high and he came back... And he had been with me since the start of the pregnancy."
"You live with him?"
"I still live with Jackie. He has been staying with us in the past months as he looks for an apartment to buy. He came back here for work purposes."
"Owh. How old is he?"
"Three years older than me."
It's good to hear that he is stable.
"And how is his attitude towards the baby?"
"He is very supportive." Amber let out a small smile. "He... I don't know, but he seems to treat the baby like his..." She chewed her lip as she carried on, "At first, I didn't want to be with him because--you know, I'm having someone else's..." Vic nodded and listened on. "But in the end, I realised that I should give him, and myself, a chance." From here on, she couldn't look at Vic in the eyes. "We didn't plan it... Last night... It just happened..." She searched Vic's eyes, begging for an understanding. "Jackie was away for work and then..."
Amber's breathing became laboured and Vic sensed she was about to break down. Vic placed her hand in Amber's arm, grabbing her for a moment before rubbing soothingly. "It's okay, Amber. Every girl deserves a guy that can make her heart forget that it was ever broken." She held Amber's glassy eyes and smiled softly. "I haven't met him, but from your story, he seems to be a good man. When a man loves another man’s child as if they are his own because he loves the mother, it’s a testament of how much he loves her. He has got to be pretty committed to the woman to agree to raise another man’s child."
Amber's lips pulled up into a smile. "Thanks, Vic, for talking to me about this and listening to me. The nurses at the emergency department and the midwife earlier didn't even ask me what happened and... they were very abrupt..."
Vic rubbed her arm again. "You're welcome, Amber."
At that moment, Vic heard the sound of the Delivery Suite's entrance door being opened and then there were footsteps running in. Amber straightened up and craned her neck towards the closed door.
"I think that's him," she muttered. She turned to Vic, "Would you like to meet him?"
"I'd love to!"
Before Vic could get the man in, the door was opened abruptly and a panting young man with brown hair came into view. His neat attire and his hairstyle made him look suave. When his eyes set upon the girl next to Vic, he ran in and went straight to her. "Are you okay? I went to the shop because Jackie's milk ran out and you usually eat cereal in the morning, then all of a sudden you texted me you were going to the hospital?"
Concern was evident in his tight lips and cheeks. His brown eyes had an abundant of genuine distress, demonstrating how much he cared about her. Amber smiled and reassured him that she was, not forgetting to explain to him what was happening with Vic adding in information. She introduced Vic and the man to each other before Vic took a look at the foetal heart rate trace so far. She held a smile as she heard the young couple bickering.
"It took me ages to work out where SM Hospital is, why didn't you just go to Woo Lim?"
Amber clucked her tongue playfully. "Because Woo Lim is a private hospital."
The man chuckled at the way she responded and asked whether baby was moving. Amber told him yes and for him to not worry. Vic left them for a moment alone and left the room when the young man followed her out.
"Victoria--"
"Call me Vic."
He grinned sheepishly. "Vic... Is everything okay with Amber?"
Vic explained to him again how normal it is to bleed after and that it is okay for couples to do it during pregnancy. When he asked about the baby, Vic told him baby seemed fine from the sound of it. She would give him a more reliable answer after she took Amber off the machine in about twenty minutes. He finally smiled and nodded.
"Thank you, Vic. It's nice to meet you."
"Likewise, Sung Yeol."
~*~
Victoria was jolted awake into consciousness from her sleep by the sound of her ringing phone. She had a birth this early morning and had just got home at around lunch time to have lunch and a shower before jumping into bed. She looked at the caller ID and discovered it was Amber. What greeted her was a heavy breathing sound and she immediately got ready as she listened to Amber's words.
"Vic, I'm on my way to the hospital now," she panted. "I-I've called Delivery Suite, they know I'm coming."
"How are you holding on, Am?" Vic shimmied out of her pyjama pants and put on a pair of skinny jeans.
A sniff rustled through the phone. "This is bull, Vic. It hurts so much."
Vic managed a brief chuckle to lighten up the atmosphere and whispered some words of reassurance before telling Amber that she was on her way.
~*~
Vic was greeted by a surprise.
Having lived close to the hospital, she arrived before Amber and her companion. The fine looking young man who took Amber Liu in was not Sung Yeol. He had short dark brown hair with the sides cropped short and a curtain of fringe swept on his forehead. He introduced himself as Myung Soo. Amber was too distressed to even talk. Vic had a feeling she won't last long and ushered them into Room 5. When Myung Soo was out of earshot, Amber whispered urgently to Vic, "I don't want anyone in here except you."
"I'll see what I can do."
After settling Amber down in the bed, she asked Myung Soo to leave the room for a while as she examined Amber. He didn't argue and left the room. Once he left, Amber calmed down a little. Meanwhile, Vic helped her out of her tracksuit and into the hospital gown. She asked who he was.
"He is the baby's father," Amber sobbed, holding on to the side of the bed for leverage.
Vic looked her way, her eyes wide. "Are you back with him?"
"No," Amber denied quickly. "He has been coming to me in the past weeks, he wants to get back with me and raise this baby."
Vic was speechless. She wanted to ask more questions, but she let Amber go through her contractions first and talk when she could.
"What about Sung Yeol?"
"He moved out a few weeks ago. He found an apartment to live in."
"What about Jackie?"
"She went out with her friend. I've texted her and Mum that I'm going to the hospital. They will be coming soon." Before Vic could ask, Amber had already answered her, "I haven't got far to Sung Yeol yet..."
"How did you end up with Myung Soo?"
"I felt contractions this morning, but they were pretty irregular and not that strong. You told me to wait until they get to every five minutes and so I did. It was getting to that when he came around. We had an argument and in the middle of that, the pain was getting stronger and he took me here."
Vic wanted so much to ask her what she was going to do, but she knew she would have to focus on assessing Amber's contractions and get on with the admission procedure. They heard a commotion outside the room as Vic was writing in Amber's notes, which she had prepared before Amber came in. She frowned and went to open the door slightly. She heard Amber's sharp inhale at the familiar voices.
"That's my baby! I have the right to be here!" Myung Soo shouted.
"Oh, is it now?!" Sung Yeol restored with sarcasm. "Where have you been in the past months, I wonder?"
He charged forward and threw a punch at Myung Soo after getting out easily of Jasmine and Jackie's hold. Mrs Liu was holding on to Myung Soo and when he received the blow, he staggered backwards and Mrs Liu almost fell with him if it wasn't for the bench where folders were placed on. Myung Soo's eyes flared in anger and attempted to throw another punch at the older man. Ellie came out of Room 1 and instructed the guests to wait at the visitor's waiting room outside the Delivery Suite in a stern voice. Mrs Liu and Jacky requested to see Amber and when Ellie locked eyes with Vic who was standing at the doorway, Vic turned to Amber to ask for her permission. When it was granted, the two women were allowed in, but Amber only let Jackie to stay for the rest of the labour. Mrs Liu decided to leave and "teach those boys how to behave".
Jackie was very helpful, to Vic's delight, and Amber seemed very happy to have her there. Amber went through her contractions well and at around 20:10, Amber proceeded to deliver a healthy, beautiful baby girl.
~*~
He stood outside Amber's partly opened door and listened attentively. All the while, his heart hammered against his chest as he could only hoped for the best.
He could hear Myung Soo and Amber discussing what parts of their baby look like them and he was left to feel alone.
He didn't know what happened in between, but the next words that he heard snapped him out of his trance.
"Please give me a second chance, Amber. I promise I will be a good father to our baby," Myung Soo said softly. "I won't leave you again."
Sung Yeol bit his lip and sneaked a look at Amber's expression. It was soft and tender as her gaze were set on the man sitting in front of her on the bed. He could see from her eyes so much love remained in her for that man and he just knew. He didn't stand a chance.
~*~
"Why did you leave?"
Myung Soo was taken aback by her question, but went on to answer, "I didn't leave... I was... I was afraid... I... I didn't know what to do..."
Amber felt loathe and anger rising through her. She freed her hand from his and clenched her fists. "Well, what about me? I was afraid too and I went through with it. We were together for five years, Myung Soo. I know you're not ready, but I wasn't ready too. Yes, it was my fault for not taking my pills properly, but how could you?" Her lips quivered and she clenched her fists tighter to hold back the impending tears as long as she could.
When she told him about her pregnancy, the look in his eyes made her know that he would need some time to think about it. She left their place and went to Jackie's apartment. She didn't contact him, but she waited. She waited for the impossible. She waited for him to call her and tell her that he was ready to receive her and the baby for the brighter future.
Who was she kidding? They were young. They were in love. They were immature. There were a lot of things they didn't know. There were a lot of things they were afraid of.
And fear gets in the way of everything.
"I'm not going to say I'm sorry, Myung Soo," she said, retaining her cold glare. "I don't think I can forgive you yet."
She saw his eyes widening in surprise.
Yes, they had just talked about the traits the baby got from them, as if they were back to being a couple, but this was a whole different matter.
"But, Am, she is my baby too. You can't just--"
"Oh yes, I can," she interjected. "You left, Myung Soo," she stressed the fact, "And when you left... you denied both of us."
He swallowed the bitter truth. "But... is there really nothing I can do to make it up to you?" When she avoided his eyes and refused to answer, he said, "It's Sung Yeol, isn't it?"
She sensed annoyance in his voice, but ignored it. He can't just expect her to accept him back after what he had done, even if her baby was his too. "It's not just him. It's me too." She remembered Vic's words and she lifted her gaze to look at him. They were softer and Myung Soo's defenses crumbled as he saw the familiar look in her eyes. But it was for a different reason. "Someone once told me that every girl deserves a guy that can make her heart forget that it was ever broken..." Myung Soo felt his heart ripping apart pieces by pieces. "And the least you could do after everything you did is let me choose my happiness." Amber let a few seconds of silence to linger. "Someone also told me that when a man loves another man’s child as if they are his own because he loves the mother, it’s a testament of how much he loves her. He must be pretty committed to the woman to agree to raise another man’s child."
As reality was forced upon him, Myung Soo couldn't find any words to argue.
"He loves me, Myung Soo."
He didn't like the way he said his name then. She used to call him "Myung" affectionately when she loved him...
When she loved him...
He didn't like the past tense. He had always loved the way his name rolled out of her tongue. There were a lot of people who called him by his name, but there was only one person who could make it so damn special. And his fear had made him lose her. And now he was afraid, it was forever.
~*~
"What are you doing here?"
Sung Yeol looked up to see Myung Soo Kim standing before him with his hands inside his pocket.
"What are you doing here?" he questioned back.
When Myung Soo's questioned sounded defiant, his was out of pure curiosity. He should be upstairs with his family.
Sung Yeol sighed. He grew up hiding his feeling for Amber Liu out of fear for the change in their relationship. When he returned and found out the prick who 'stole' her away from him got her pregnant and 'left' her, he was beyond furious. If it wasn't for Myung Soo having left to his hometown, Sung Yeol could have hunted him down and killed him on the spot. He was surprised the five years' relationship ended up this way.
He confessed to Amber and managed to convince her to be with him. He knew he wasn't going to get her heart immediately, but he wanted to give her the happiness he had always wanted to give her. Myung Soo just stepped in while he was out of the picture for a little while. When they made love, he became more confident with his decision. He wanted her, and the baby. Having been with her as the baby grew, he just could not have one without the other. He had grown attached to someone he never met, but he felt good about it.
Amber had not told him regarding Myung Soo's request for her to return to him in the past weeks. It wasn't until last night when he could not contact Amber on her phone or Jackie's apartment that Jackie told him Amber was on her way to the hospital... with Myung Soo. He should have known they would get back together, but his anger towards the young man had been kept too long and the time had finally come to liberate it.
Myung Soo rolled his eyes. "Don't even make me," he hissed. There was no way he would admit he was rejected for this man. Although secretly, he had no choice but to admit that Sung Yeol was a better man than he was and would be able to give Amber the future she wanted and needed than he could. Sung Yeol was way up there and he was far behind. The older man had a stable job, an apartment, and an ideal character for a husband that could give Amber happiness. Perhaps, he deserved what he got.
They said you don't know what you've got until it's gone, but the truth is, he knew exactly what he had, he just thought he'd never lose it.
Myung Soo gave Sung Yeol a look and they had a staring competition for a long while before Sung Yeol finally caught on. His jaw dropped in disbelief and without another word, he ran back into the hospital building, up to the ward, and to Amber's room.
He was greeted by Amber's wide smile when he arrived. No words were exchanged as he tried to catch his breath. He stepped into the room to approach the new mother.
He grabbed her into a hug and withdrew to caress her cheek. "Myung Soo told me... I thought you would be getting back together with him," he ranted, still cannot believe Amber's choice. "Why?"
She grinned. "Because I deserve you and I deserve a second chance. Just as much as you do."
With that, she leaned up and pressed her lips on his.
~*~
Vic greeted the midwives at the front desk and went to search for Amber's notes. When a midwife told her it was in Amber's room, she made her way there, only to stop on her tracks when she saw Sung Yeol standing in front of Amber, blocking her view. They seemed to be in a deep conversation.
"Myung Soo told me..." he stuttered. "I thought you would be getting back together with him... Why?"
"Because I deserve you and I deserve a second chance. Just as much as you do."
Vic saw Sung Yeol's neck tilted forward and backward. Though she couldn't see what was going on, she grasped the moment quickly. She closed the door quietly and let the new parents have their moment alone.
~*~
"How's everything going?" Vic had asked when Sung Yeol went to take Amber's baby to her room.
Vic was on her home visit to follow-up Amber's care and was delighted to find Sung Yeol's presence.
"Good," Amber replied. She smiled in a way that Vic could surely define as happiness and fulfillment. "He is great. He has been doing her nappies throughout the night." Apparently, Sung Yeol had decided to stay around to help in the first week despite Amber's refusal.
Vic smiled in response. She was glad to know Amber was doing well and everything was working out for her. She leaned in towards Vic and reduced her voice a notch, "Sometimes I think I don't deserve him."
Vic creased her forehead. "Why?"
"I didn't allow Myung Soo to see Luna because I believe that when he left me back then, he had denied both of us. And once he left the picture, I didn't want him back in my life." She let out a deep, relaxing sigh. "Sung Yeol was the one who convinced me that I should let Myung Soo see his daughter. His argument was that Luna has the right to know her father."
Vic almost crooned hearing the story. How much sweeter could that man get? She suddenly felt sad for her single life, but it wasn't the appropriate time for that, it was time for Amber's story.
"He is such a sweet man, Amber. Don't ever let go of him."
Amber smiled. "He proposed to me." Vic's jaw dropped after a gasp was released. "We won't be getting married anytime soon, though. I still need to get my life in order."
There are moments in our life where we wish with all our heart we could take back or erase. But only those who learn from them and accept them as a part of their life can grow and move forward. If we get a chance, we should take it. And take a lot of them. If our life changes, just let it. No matter where we end up and with whom, it would always be just the way it is meant to be.
~*~
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