Suzy looked at the selling board on the front yard, surprised to see a ‘sold’ sign across it. It was a surprise, seeing as it was on the market for more than two years. The house was old, but the council didn’t allow it to be rebuilt as it had some value to the area, but Suzy couldn’t care less what it was.

Suzy was an outcast at school. It had started from her ugly personality – she was mean towards others. Being a transfer from another school, she entered the school with no knowledge of how different the schools were. In her old school, the mean were respected and feared; here they were ignored and treated just as badly. She liked being in control; it gave her a sense of belonging to something, even though she didn’t know what. Even the pettiest thing, such as stealing all the rolls of toilet paper, pleased her. After hearing complaints of no toilet paper, she’d smirk and laugh at them. Maybe it was the pleasure of feeling power after she got away with what she did – it didn’t matter.

Seeing as she was a , many hated her. After realizing how being mean didn’t affect her in a positive way, she buried herself in her studies – she was just weird that way. Studying on the other hand, paid off and she became one of the smartest in her grade. “What’s her problem? She must have cheated.” That was what most people thought, seeing as Suzy used to be a delinquent. She’d scoff and roll her eyes in reply and pretend to ignore them, but inside she wanted to do something that would give them pain. ing hypocrites.

In shorter words, Suzy was alone; more than she’d ever been. She was in need for someone to care for her – to believe her, but when she approached people, they’d ignore her, as if she wasn’t there. But it changed when someone moved in next door.

He moved in a week after the ‘sold’ sign was put up. She anticipated the day he/she’d move in, maybe finally she could make some friends. She was ecstatic to see a boy, around her age, motioning some people to bring in furniture.

The next day, as usual, Suzy went to school, depressed and weak. Arriving at her bus stop, she saw her new neighbor there, wearing her schools’ uniform. Her eyes widened slightly, knowing that he’d be in the same school as her. She sat down slowly at the bench next to him, taking her eyes off him reluctantly. The bus arrived shortly afterwards and he followed her on. She took her seat and by looking at the driver’s mirror, she could tell that he had sat at the back. Bad move it was; that was where the school jjangs sat.

The next stop was when the first of the school jjangs would get on. She saw one of them look at him in amusement. Then she heard the slump of a person sitting; it was obviously him. She forced herself not to look behind in curiosity.

Suzy heard slight whispering, and then saw the boy stand up and sit in the seat in front of her. Wow. He actually listened to him. She looked at the back of his head, playing with her earphones in the process. She noticed his perfect hair and his perfect, pale skin. He seemed like a nice person; he just moved when someone had asked him, instead of picking a fight, which was what Suzy admired the most about him. It was unlike her; she wanted power, not caring whatever happened in the process.

Suzy stepped up to go to her stop, after seeing the boy stand up. She followed him to the school, walking a safe distance behind him so she could watch and observe him. Hearing the bell, she began to walk to class to see his back going towards the office.

~

“There’s a new student today.”

There was no chatter around the class like there usually would; their last new student was Suzy; she was horrible and they didn’t expect the new student to be any better. He walked into the class and sat at the very back, with people turning around and looking at him.

He began to write notes as soon as he reached the desk. The teacher didn’t react however, which Suzy found interesting. Usually, he would tell students off for not paying attention and he obviously noticed. She looked back at the boy carefully, observing the way he was looking at the teacher like he was much focused, but somehow he didn’t seem to be doing the work the teacher had just given out.

“Are you fine back there, Wonho?”

So that was his name – Wonho. He nodded back to the teacher in reply and the teacher smiled at him. Suzy looked in between the two of them, confused of why the teacher still hadn’t told him off yet. Suzy lost track of time due to lack of focus and the bell for break came soon after.

As per usual, she was alone. She had brought it upon herself after all, but she pitied herself for being so stupid. How do mean people become popular anyway?  She sighed walking towards an empty table, her head low. Suzy began to eat slowly, chewing every bite carefully. Damn. I’m getting fat.

~

Tired from her day, Suzy walked slowly home from the bus stop. Swaying from side to side from the music, she almost bumped into someone. She stopped suddenly, somehow feeling the presence of someone. Then, she saw Wonho walk past her, taking out his keys from his bag. She did so too and walked inside her house slowly, looking at a hallway of family photos.

“I miss you all so much.”

The photos seemed to reply to her. Suzy could almost swear she saw a picture of her mum smiling at her.

“Have strength and hope, Suzy-ah. You’re not alone.”

How she wished she had someone to say that to her. To give her both strength and hope; someone to make her life worth living more than it was now.

The next time she saw her next door neighbor somehow made her heart burst in happiness, then it hit her – she was in love. Suzy looked at the way he did everything, from eating at lunchtime, to pretending to listen to the teacher – that’s what she thought he was doing. He seemed so perfect, he seemed almost…fiction.

Suzy soon found out enough about him to become friends with him. So that’s what she wanted to do – become friends with him. I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Even the slight thought of him wanted to make her smile; it was something she rarely did nowadays.

~
Suzy stepped on her scales hesitantly – she hadn’t weighed herself for so long. Opening her eyes to look at the number on the scales, she saw that she gained a kilogram. Almost instantly, her face turned dark. I’m walking to school from now on.

After forcing herself for a while, Suzy stepped out of the house half an hour early. I won’t be able to see him on the bus…but he won’t be impressed by my weight, won’t he?  The next few minutes, in her opinion were hell. It was mostly uphill, after all. Realizing she was late, she began to pick up her pace. Seeing a highway ahead of her, she groaned. She’d have to wait for a long time to be able to cross. Luckily for her, at this moment there were no cars, so she began to cross quickly.

Suddenly, she heard a faint horn over her music and her side met excruciating pain. She was swept of her feet, and she fell sideways onto the road. She opened her eyes, only realizing then that they had been closed. Then, she heard “Ambulance! Call the ambulance!” very faintly. Above her was Wonho, looking at her with worried eyes.

Somehow, she felt Wonho kiss her lightly on the nose, then less lightly on the mouth, then several more times, and passionately. She kissed him back, and then stopped, feeling her breath run out quickly.

But something was wrong – Wonho didn’t look like Wonho anymore. His face looked like it had suddenly aged and he was wearing a suit now, not school uniform. Unable to take the pain, Suzy closed her eyes and everything out.

“At least I can say I had a first love.”

~

He moved in a week after the ‘sold’ sign was put up. She anticipated the day he/she’d move in, maybe finally she could make some friends. She was disappointed to see a man, probably almost double her age, motioning some people to bring in furniture.

The next day, as usual, Suzy went to school, depressed and weak. Arriving at her bus stop, she saw her new neighbor there, wearing a suit and tie. She sat down slowly at the bench next to him. The bus arrived shortly afterwards and he followed her on. She took her seat and by looking at the driver’s mirror, she could tell that he had sat at the back. Bad move it was; that was where the school jjangs sat.

The next stop was when the first of the school jjangs would get on. She saw one of them look at him in amusement. Then she heard the slump of a person sitting; it was obviously him. She forced herself not to look behind in curiosity.

Suzy heard slight whispering, and then saw the man stand up and sit in the seat in front of her. She looked at the back of his head, playing with her earphones in the process, wondering why he had moved; a normal man would scold him for his rudeness. He just moved when someone had asked him, instead of picking a fight. It was unlike her; she wanted power, not caring whatever happened in the process.

Suzy stepped up to go to her stop, after seeing the man stand up. She followed him to the school, walking a safe distance behind him, curious of his destination. Hearing the bell, she began to walk to class to see his back going towards the office.

~

“There’s an inspector coming today. I expect you to all be on your best behavior.”

There was no chatter around the class like there usually would; there was nothing interesting about an inspector. He walked into the class and sat at the very back, with people turning around and looking at him.

He began to write notes as soon as he reached the desk. She looked back at the man carefully, observing the way he was looking at the teacher like he was much focused.

“Are you fine back there, Mr. Shin?”

So that was his name – Mr. Shin. He nodded back to the teacher in reply and the teacher smiled at him. Suzy lost track of time due to lack of focus and the bell for break came soon after.

As per usual, she was alone. She had brought it upon herself after all, but she pitied herself for being so stupid. How do mean people become popular anyway?  She sighed walking towards an empty table, her head low. Suzy began to eat slowly, chewing every bite carefully.

~

Tired from her day, Suzy walked slowly home from the bus stop. Swaying from side to side from the music, she almost bumped into someone. She stopped suddenly, somehow feeling the presence of someone. Then, she saw Mr. Shin walk past her, taking out his keys from his pocket. She did so too and walked inside her house slowly, looking at a hallway of family photos.

“I miss you all so much.”

The photos seemed to reply to her. Suzy could almost swear she saw a picture of her mum smiling at her.

“Have strength and hope, Suzy-ah. You’re not alone.”

How she wished she had someone to say that to her. To give her both strength and hope; someone to make her life worth living more than it was now.

Suzy stepped on her scales hesitantly – she hadn’t weighed herself for so long. Opening her eyes to look at the number on the scales, she saw that she gained a kilogram. Almost instantly, her face turned dark.

After forcing herself for a while, Suzy stepped out of the house half an hour early. I won’t be able to see him on the bus…but he won’t be impressed by my weight, won’t he?  The next few minutes, in her opinion were hell. It was mostly uphill, after all. Realizing she was late, she began to pick up her pace. Seeing a highway ahead of her, she groaned. She’d have to wait for a long time to be able to cross. Luckily for her, at this moment there were no cars, so she began to cross quickly.

Suddenly, she heard a faint horn over her music and her side met excruciating pain. She was swept of her feet, and she fell sideways onto the road. She opened her eyes, only realizing then that they had been closed. Then, she heard “Ambulance! Call the ambulance!” very faintly. Above her was Mr. Shin, looking at her with worried eyes.

Somehow, she felt Mr. Shin place his lips on hers for resuscitation. Unable to take the pain, Suzy closed her eyes and everything out.

~

“Mom is wrong. I’m alone. I have nobody. But at least I know someone would prefer me alive.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N I hope this didn't confuse you too much :/ Well it's just that Suzy is so alone, she imagines somebody, then she dies D: I got the 'killing people off disease' from a friend so don't blame me. 

If you ship Shinzy, please check out my chaptered fic! (It includes Myungzy too^^)

Because I Look Like Her Bias ft. Shinzy and Myungzy

Her bias, Kim Myungsoo. Me, Shin Wonho.

She only dated Wonho because he looked like Myungsoo; he knew that. But, he just had to deny it. He wanted her to love him for him, not because he looked like her bias. He should have known they’d never work out. Especially since that she’d finally have a chance to debut. In her words, ‘be with him’.