When Leeteuk opens the door, he finds Eunhyuk throwing a blank stare towards his laptop. It is obvious that the scene has been going on for a while because the wallpaper is already showing on the screen, and when Leeteuk sees what is on display, he fails to stop the tears from building. He takes a moment to compose himself knowing that it wouldn’t do him or the other members any good to break down, especially—most especially—not in front of Eunhyuk.

“D-dinner’s ready,” says Leeteuk, coughing to clear his throat. When the group’s best dancer does not answer, Leeteuk looks around the bedroom. The usual clean and organized environment is gone, replaced by a mess that none of the Super Junior members would have thought could ever be blamed on Eunhyuk. Leeteuk notices that only a certain part of the room is as perfect as it has ever been, and it causes his heart to clench once more to see what is over there. Unable to take it any longer, he makes a move to exit the room while saying, “Just come out when you’re hungry.” He then closes the door behind him. Ryeowook, who has just come out of his room to eat, sees the oldest member come out of Eunhyuk’s room and collapse on the floor, crying. He quickly rushes to the leader, embraces him, and finds that his eyes, too, are wet.

Back in his bedroom, none of what is happening outside registers in Eunhyuk’s head. His laptop’s wallpaper, specifically the person being shown, is the only thing in his mind. His eyes trace every outline, every strand of hair, every patch of skin, everything, as though by concentrating really well the wallpaper will materialize right in front of him as a breathing, living person. Eunhyuk slowly raises his right hand to touch the screen; when has the other started feeling like glass? Still, it does not matter, not when those lips remain pink, those dark brown eyes forever smiling, and those slender fingers forming a heart, a heart for him. Eunhyuk remembers the day that photo had been taken. Of all the poses in the world, he had to do that one, the cutest one, the most honest one.

Realizing that, Eunhyuk’s eyes overflow with the tears he has been containing for the past one and a half weeks. He covers his mouth with both hands to contain his wails but they escape anyway. He takes the laptop and hugs the screen to his chest and cries harder, this time saying a name over and over and over again. Before, someone would respond in less than ten seconds matched with much hyper jumping and a beautiful smile, but even when his calls turn to screams and his tears continue to come out, nothing happens.

Eunhyuk whips around and sees the opposite side of his room. He hastily puts his laptop down back on the desk and frantically runs to that place. His hands shakily graze over books, picture frames, stuffed toys, and a few clothes arranged in the area where one of his bedside tables used to be. He picks up his most treasured thing there: a blue envelope with his name on it. He carefully pulls out the piece of paper inside and unfolds it. The letter, written in a strangely bad handwriting, is short:

Hyuk,

Don’t cry because of me. You did it yesterday again, I saw you. I told you, didn’t I? We will see each other again someday. I’m just sorry that I have to go ahead of you. I will wait for all of you so we can play together. :]

 I love you. I love you. I love you. I looooooovvvveee yoooooouuuu. I love you with every cell in my body, Lee Hyukjae. And goodbye…for now.

Love, your cute Donghae <3

Eunhyuk recalls having been handed that letter.

~

Eunhyuk’s mood is quite good because he has cooked a new dish for the first time and wants Donghae to be his taste tester. The elevator reaches the twelfth floor and when it opens, an unexpected scene greets him: all the members are out in the hallway, huddled in pairs and trios.

“What’s going on?” he asks. Time stops when he sees that everyone is crying. In a second all of them are around him, embracing him and telling him things he cannot fathom at the moment. Heechul makes his way through the group hug. His eyes and nose are red, and without making eye contact, he hands Eunhyuk an envelope.

“It’s…it’s the only one he was able to finish. He was already too weak…” Right after saying those words Heechul walks away, followed by Hankyung who wraps his arms around him.

Eunhyuk looks at the envelope and recognizes the script. He drops the lunch box and flowers and, without anyone stopping him, takes long strides towards the nearest room. He flings the door open. Just three other people are there, two of them in the samestate as the Super Junior members. Eunhyuk approaches the third person, the one on the hospital bed, and does not understand what the commotion is all about. It is when he comes closer that everything becomes clear, but at the same time, everything darkens.

“T-twenty m-minutes ago he was…he was…still l-looking…forward to seeing…to seeing you…” says the only other boy in the room, his voice cracking from crying. It is Donghae’s older brother. “He…he looked so happy…w-when…when you called,” The old woman beside him, their mother, cries harder and he pulls her into an embrace. Eunhyuk looks back at the seemingly sleeping figure an arm’s length from him. As though pulled by an invisible force, he sits down on the bed and takes the boy, Donghae, in his arms. Though their cheeks touch, only Eunhyuk’s is warm. Eunhyuk thinks that he is not close enough and tightens his hold, but nothing changes.

He feels his own heartbeat, his own breathing. No more, no less.

Eunhyuk separates himself from Donghae and looks at his face once more. The perfection he sees is deceiving, heartbreaking, because he has seen Donghae’s sleeping face countless times and it is exactly the same as the one he is looking at at the moment. Eunhyuk gently runs a hand through Donghae’s silky brown tresses, an action Donghae enjoys more than he can admit, and he does another thing Donghae cannot get enough of: kiss him chastely on the lips.

“Romantic kisses are nice, but nothing beats innocent kisses because they convey nothing but pure love,”

Eunhyuk ends the kiss with Donghae’s words echoing around him. He lays him back down on the bed and leaves the room without another word. The members run to him but he shakes his head, silently saying that he wants to be left alone. He walks to the other side of the floor. As he does so, he opens the envelope Heechul had given him. Upon reading all of it, he loses all of his energy and falls to the floor. He hears the members running towards him but he is already somewhere far, far away, a place where even his tears don’t reach him.

~

Eunhyuk stops daydreaming and takes out the one other thing inside the envelope. He slips his left hand through it and admires it lovingly. The metal is cold against his skin, but pretty soon it becomes warm, almost like a second skin. He kisses the bracelet, believing that its previous owner is receiving the gesture.

“I love you, too, Donghae,” he whispers. “There will be no one else after you, no one,”

Suddenly, Eunhyuk feels soft warmth surround him. He closes his eyes to feel it, to absorb it, and when it fades away in several heartbeats, he can’t help but cry again. This time, however, the tears are not out of sadness but of happiness. Putting his hand over his heart, Eunhyuk realizes that Donghae has not left after all.