Chapter 4
Off I Go
"Don't be silly, of course you're going to get married!" her mother snapped. She waved her hand as if to wave her daughter's idea away.
"No, I'm not." This time, filled with more confidence, Jieun's voice did not shake. She spoke with authority for once in her life, and it felt empowering.
"What do you mean?" Her mother whirled around from the mirror to face her. "How can you not get married? Do you want to embarrass us all? Do you want to embarrass yourself?"
"I don't care. I'm not in love with him." Jieun placed the letter aside and stood up.
"Love? Who needs love?" her mother scoffed. "You're being ridiculous, Jieun. He can offer you security for life. You won't have to go out and work like those poor women. You won't have to break a nail."
Jieun unknowingly clenched her fists, her perfectly manicured nails digging into her palms. "Without love, marriage is pointless. I don't care about his money. I would rather be a poor, working money who has married for love and happiness than to be like you-trying to desperately to get Appa's attention for all these years. Umma, you deserve so much better. I deserve better. I don't want to just settle!"
Her mother gaped at her, speechless.
Jieun tore off her veil and smiled. "I want more. I want to live my life, Umma, and I think you should, too."
As she made her way towards the door, her mother finally spoke. "You're going to regret this, Jieun. You're going to be disowned if you take another step!"
Jieun stopped. Disowned...The word echoed in her mind. She then continued to walk. She wanted nothing more than to leave right now. Being disowned was nothing compared to having to live a lie and wasting her one chance at life.
"No, I'm not." This time, filled with more confidence, Jieun's voice did not shake. She spoke with authority for once in her life, and it felt empowering.
"What do you mean?" Her mother whirled around from the mirror to face her. "How can you not get married? Do you want to embarrass us all? Do you want to embarrass yourself?"
"I don't care. I'm not in love with him." Jieun placed the letter aside and stood up.
"Love? Who needs love?" her mother scoffed. "You're being ridiculous, Jieun. He can offer you security for life. You won't have to go out and work like those poor women. You won't have to break a nail."
Jieun unknowingly clenched her fists, her perfectly manicured nails digging into her palms. "Without love, marriage is pointless. I don't care about his money. I would rather be a poor, working money who has married for love and happiness than to be like you-trying to desperately to get Appa's attention for all these years. Umma, you deserve so much better. I deserve better. I don't want to just settle!"
Her mother gaped at her, speechless.
Jieun tore off her veil and smiled. "I want more. I want to live my life, Umma, and I think you should, too."
As she made her way towards the door, her mother finally spoke. "You're going to regret this, Jieun. You're going to be disowned if you take another step!"
Jieun stopped. Disowned...The word echoed in her mind. She then continued to walk. She wanted nothing more than to leave right now. Being disowned was nothing compared to having to live a lie and wasting her one chance at life.
"Miss, where are you going?"
"Miss, wait!"
"Miss, what's the matter?"
"Miss?"
"Miss!"
Ignoring all of the maids' frantic cries, she made her way out of the mansion. The heavy doors slammed shut behind her-possibly the most beautiful sound she had heard in her life. But Jieun suddenly paused. She didn't know how to drive. She had always been chauffeured, and as all of the servants from her family were busy preparing for the wedding, only the servants of her once-husband-to-be were available. Obviously there was no way that his chauffeur would drive his boss's 'future' wife away from the wedding.
Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a bicycle, and she ran to it.
"I hope I can do this," she murmured to herself, softly the handles. She pulled herself (and the heavy skirts) up and over the bicycle. Her heels barely touched the ground. It was higher than she had expected. As she started to pedal the bike, it started to tilt towards the right. "Oh, no...please no. Come on, bike!"
Regardless of her plea, the bicycle fell to the dirt ground, bringing her along with it. As a cloud of dirt rose around her, she coughed and tried to wave it away. Her once beautiful white dress was now stained an unflattering brown color, and her right elbow was slightly scraped. Jieun grit her teeth and ignoring the pain, she kicked off her shoes. She had always loathed heels and the pain that walking around in them had given her. Determined, she swung her leg over the bicycle and started to pedal once more.
She fell twice more, but each time, she got up with an even stronger determination to follow her own destiny. She was smiling so hard that her face hurt by the time she pedaled past the tall gates that had kept her caged for so long, and past the gaping security guards that had kept her under their relentless watch for so many years. Jieun pedaled her way towards the one place she knew that she would be able to find happiness-the first step towards her new life.
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