“Kyuhyun-ah, didn’t Zhou Mi give you his song book when he went back to China?”

            “Mmhm,” was the mummbled response he gave with a slight wave in the direction of his room, his eyes never leaving the computer screen.

It was dark when I opened the bedroom door, which meant that Sungmin was out.

            “Leeteuk-ssi, what are you doing in my room?” I turned around when I heard Sungmin’s voice behind me. He was standing there with a smile on his face, curious as always.

“Ah, Sungmin-ah! I was looking for Mi’s song book. I wanted to work on my Chinese and Kyuhyun-ah said it was in here.” I replied, searching Kyuhuyn’s desk for the Chinese man’s book. “Found it!” I exclaimed when I finally spotted it.

            “Oh, I can help you hyung. My Chinese is getting better.” Sungmin laughed, turning on the light and sitting on his bed, motioning for me to join him.

            I rolled my eyes, knowing that if I denied him he would continue bugging me until I finally gave in. I walked across the room, tripping over a stray shirt, and climbed up on the bed.

            Sungmin held his hand out and motioned towards the song book. He wanted to pick the song to work on. I handed the book over and he flipped through it.

            “Perfection! I like this song. Kyuhyun-ah sings a lot.” He turned the page and after he read a few lines, I saw his smile drop into a frown. “You should read this.”

            “What is it Sungmin?” I asked, taking the book from him to see for myself.

            “Zhou Mi still feels hated.” He whispered, not looking up.

“Han Geng.”

I read.

“Give us back Han Geng. Han Geng, Han Geng, Han Geng. That is all I hear when it’s too quiet and I’m all alone. All I can hear are Super Junior fans screaming Zhou Mi get lost.”

My voice faltered at the end. No one had realized that he still felt this way.

            Maybe Kyuhyun did though. I thought as I noticed tear stains on the page.

            I jumped when Sungmin snatched the book back.

“It gets louder and louder until I can’t stand it anymore. It’s all I can hear during interviews and performances. At least with Gui Xian during practices and away from the crowds I can pretend that I’m just as liked as the rest of the group.”

            I couldn’t help but wince. I was no better than our fans at first. Three years ago I had just wanted to protect my family, the Only13 our fans had shouted about. Now, Henry and Zhou Mi were a part of that family.

“It’s been three years since Super Junior M debuted, I should be used to the hate. It just gets harder. At first the fans didn’t want more members in Super Junior. Only 13 they would shout, but now they think I’m trying to replace Han Geng.”

I looked up when I heard Sungmin growl.

            “Why hasn’t he told anyone about this, hyung? How can our fans be so mean? Don’t they see what they’re doing to him?” He asked as he set the book down. It was all I could do to hold my own tears back when I saw his eyes watering.

            I didn’t know how to answer him, because I was asking those same questions. I was also asking, “Why don’t we see what they’re doing to him?” I shook my head and picked the book back up.

“It’s bad in Korea, but it’s worse in China because that’s where we are both from. In my home I’m hated when I’m on stage and on camera. In my home I have to hide or I have angry fans breathing down my neck, telling me to get lost and that I will never be like Han Geng.”

            I heard the door open and Kyuhyun ran in. “Hyung, please tell me you haven’t found his song …” He stopped when he saw the book open in my hands and the looks on our faces. “You weren’t supposed to see that.” He winced, looking at the floor.

            “You knew about this?” Sungmin demanded. He looked angry, and hurt.

            “Yes, hyung. He g-gave me his song book to hold on to while he was in China. He forgot that was in there.” Kyuhyun looked hurt. It seemed that he hadn’t noticed the complete damage the fans had been doing either.

“I remember when I was first told I was being put in Super Junior’s new sub-group. I was happy. I knew of Super Junior. You could almost say I was a fan, but that happiness was short lived.”

            As Sungmin continued reading, Kyuhyun climbed on the bed between us, staring at the book.

“I met Henry Lau first. He was easy to get along with, especially since he knew Mandarin along with Korean. It was a few days after we had met that I was introduced to the rest of the group, of Super Junior M.

Five members from Super Junior’s 13 were chosen for the new sub-group: Han Geng, the only Chinese member of the Korean boy band, Choi Siwon, Lee Donghae, Kim Ryeowook, and Cho Kyuhyun – who I know as Gui Xian, the man I would eventually become the closet to.”

            “I am the one he’s closest too. He’s one of my best friends. How could I overlook all of this?” Kyuhyun questioned.

            It hurt me to see Kyuhyun this way. He was the maknae, the youngest of the group, and had been through so much already without needing to feel responsible for the hurt our fans hate causes.

“They were all friendly enough; they welcomed me with open arms, just like they had Henry during Don’t Don promotions. Things were easy at first as all we were doing was promoting in China by singing Super Junior songs in Mandarin. The singing came naturally, the dancing a little harder, but the interviews were the hardest part.

I would help Gui Xian with translations, as he was still having trouble grasping the language, while Han Geng and Henry helped the others. We got close — fan servicing the manager called it — but sometimes I would cling to him not because it was asked of us, but because I was afraid of the fans and the hate they showed me.”

“He would cling to you to escape the hate and then the fans would hate him more because he was always around you.” The three of us looked up when we heard another voice at the door. Siwon was standing there, leaning against the door frame, with his arms crossed. “At that point he could only see the fans who hated him, not the ones who cared for him.”

Kyuhyun said nothing, he just held out his hand for the book and Sungmin handed it to him.

“Everything kept gradually getting worse over the next year, finally coming to a peak as we started working on our next mini-album, Super Girl. The hate was enormous; the fans would boo Henry and me off stage and take any chance they could to show that we would never be a part of Super Junior. We weren’t welcome.”

            The room was silent when Kyuhyun stopped reading. It was easy to remember how the fans reacted to the news that two new members would be added to the new sub-group. Everyone was in an up-roar. There were protests and petitions; anything for the fans to show their anger. To them, Super Junior was forever 13 and to change that was to ruin it.

             “I could never see it. I could never see how badly the fans affected him. I knew he was getting tired and he wasn’t smiling as much, but I just assumed it was from his schedule.” Kyuhyun sighed. He leaned his head against Sungmin’s shoulder, taking comfort in the presence of his roommate.

            “No one could see it.” Siwon told him with a shake of his head. “He didn’t want to bother anyone with something he felt they wouldn’t understand.”

            “Even if we didn’t understand, we should have listened.” Kyuhyun muttered, handing the book back to Sungmin.

“In December, a month after Super Girls’ release, Han Geng filed a lawsuit against S.M. Entertainment, leaving Super Junior, and Korea, altogether. Now instead of just intruding on the group, in the fans eyes I was replacing Han Geng as well; because while Henry was Chinese by blood, he was still Canadian and not as big of a threat to the precious 13 …”

            “Teukie-ssi!” I groaned when Heechul’s voice rang throughout the dorm. “Teukie-ssi, where are you …” I didn’t look up when he reached the doorway. “What’s going on?” He asked knowing that something was wrong.

            “All I can hear are Super Junior fans screaming Zhou Mi get lost.” Sungmin repeated, putting his arm around Kyuhyun’s shoulders with a frown.

            I grabbed the book from Sungmin’s lap and flipped through the next few pages. “He didn’t write anything else.” I shut the book, my reason for wanting it long forgotten, and got off the bed. “Heechul, didn’t you have something you wanted to do today?”

            “Oh yes!” He exclaimed, realizing I wanted to leave Kyuhyun and Sungmin alone. “Come on, Siwon. You can come too!” I groaned as he dragged us both along, leaving the two on the bed.

            “I don’t understand hyung. How could I have never noticed?” Kyuhyun whispered, sounding so lost.

            “No one noticed Kyuhyun-ah.” Sungmin replied softly. “But it gets better. While he’s still hated, he’s also loved more than ever before. There are those who also say Zhou Mi fighting.”

I sighed as I pulled the door shut. It hurt, especially as a leader, to know that one of the members was in this much pain. I shook my head, to try and clear the negative thoughts away, and jogged to catch up with Heechul and Siwon. I squeezed in between them, tossing my arms around their shoulders, and joined in on whatever they were bickering about.

It was hard to grasp how much pain Zhou Mi was in without us noticing, but I was sure everything would get better. Like Sungmin had said, we were all saying

Zhou Mi fighting.

A/N: This is something I wrote for my creative writing class last year, about a month after Super Junior-M's new album came out. I'm not to sure how much I like this anymore, but I thought there was no harm in sharing it.

I know Leeteuk wanting to learn Chinese, and using a songbook to do so, doesn't make much sense. but it worked for the story and my teacher didn't know better anyway.