“Tohoshinki, Tohoshinki, Tohoshinki!”

Tons of red and white sticks were glowing. A red and white ocean was made by those glowing sticks that were waved left and right, forward and backward. Even though the movement wasn't unison, it still looked really good and most of all, beautiful in my eyes.

“Tohoshinki, Tohoshinki, Tohoshinki!”

When the white light filled up the stage, Cassies were screaming on the top of their lungs. One by one from Yunho, Changmin, JaeJoong, me and the last Junsu walked up to the stage. We were wearing a simple white t-shirt and jeans. Yunho were waving his hand, later then I followed him.

Performing in front of Cassiopeia in Tokyo Dome, it was such a moment that I would never forget until I die. The first one who sang was Jae . Everything went well until my part. The tears that I held back since I set my feet on the stage were falling down slowly. My voice wouldn’t come out as much as I wanted to sing at that time.

“Yo, hyung!”

“Changmin-ah!”

“What are you doing, hyung?” Changmin was trying to take a peek at my laptop screen. “Is that Proud performance in Tokyo Dome?!” he suddenly got excited and took a comfortable sitting-position beside me.

“Yeah,” I said and closed the window.

“Yah! Why are you closing it? I want to see your crying face,” he then laughed.

“Say who was crying badly in MKMF,” I searched the image in internet and gave it to him.

“Oh my God, I’m so damn ugly! Close it!”

Someone laughed from behind and Changmin covered the screen with his hands automatically. “Many Cassies were brokenhearted when they saw you cry, Changmin-ah~” I felt a weight on my shoulder. “Right, Chun?”

“Hahaha, yeah,” I high-fived with Jae.

Changmin snatched away the laptop from the table and closed the window. He murmured something which made Jae and I laughed. The magnae was really cute and funny.

“Oh, oh! Look at this!”

“What?” Changmin showed us our photo in front of Eiffel Tower.

“Waaaah, Paris! I miss Paris very much! Aux Champs Elysées~"

“Aux Champs Elysées~” Junsu sing-sang and joined us on the couch.

“What are you guys doing?” Yunho appeared from nowhere.

“We are in the nostalgia-mode, can’t you see it?” Changmin said sarcastically.

“I want to go to Paris again and watch the night view from on top of Arc de Triomphe,” Junsu started to daydream again.

“Me too, me too!” Jae raised his hand.

“Relax, we still do have lots of time to go everywhere we want. Right, right?” Yunho embraced our shoulders with his long arms.

“Yeah, Yunho is right. We have lots of time to go everywhere we want! We will never be apart because we are one family. TVXQ will always be one," Changmin said happily.

"We are the one, eternally," I completed Changmin's word.

My eyes shot opened and I sat on the bed. Unknowingly, big, fat tears trickled down from my eyes like a river.

Was it a beautiful dream, or was it a nightmare?

I didn’t know why but anger was taking up my body and mind. I took anything that was placed on the shelf beside my bed and threw it to the floor. The sound of glass shattered could be heard clearly on the silent night.

My hands made up its way to my face, covering it up to muffle the sound of my weeping. After some time, still without any lights were , I stood up from the bed and squatted to see the thing that I threw earlier.

From the moonlight, dimly I could see our picture in Paris. We were really happy back then. Our laughs were free; we laughed as we wanted without forcing it. All of the laughs that I gave nowadays were faked. I could only laugh freely like that when we were still stood together as five.

Carelessly, I picked up the glass and as expected, one of the pieces stabbed my finger. The blood started to ooze out from the wound. Setting my feet and body to the bathroom, I got the chance too see how horrible my face was on the mirror.

I the faucet and washed away the blood. Blood….. Red blood. Red was the colour that brought up loads of memories. The wound wasn’t as hurt as my heart was. My heart was bleeding, internally, and that couldn’t be healed easily.

I washed my face and turned off the faucet. Coming out from the bathroom, not even bothering to take a first aid kit, I went downstairs with only one destination in my head: bar.

It was freaking 12:17 in the morning and I bet everyone was still asleep. When I arrived at the bar, I took out my wine supply and drank it directly from the bottle, not even thinking to use a glass.

*Prang!*

I was alarmed because of the sound that came out from….. Kitchen. Who the hell is that?

“Aigooooo!”

My forehead was creased hearing the voice. “ChoonHee?” I said softly and stood up from the stool, leaving the bottle of wine behind.

The kitchen’s light was . As soon as I got nearer, I could hear several voices and sound from inside the kitchen. I took a peep and was flabbergasted with the scene in front of me.

ChoonHee’s back was facing me, hands on hips and she was angry with….. Junsu?

My manager was beside ChoonHee whilst patting her shoulder, trying to calm her down.

Junsu kneeled and saying lots of "Sorry" to ChoonHee. Yoomi was beside him while shaking her head.

Near the stove, I could see Jae and SooYeon was making something using the mixer. Both of them were loss in their own world, not even gave a damn to ChoonHee and Junsu.

My eyes flew to the other part of the room and gasped at the next thing that I saw; Chaerin was arranging flowers. That was not the main point. Whenever there was Chaerin, it means there will be Changmin. He was cutting the stems of the flowers and somehow, managed to fool around and tucked a flower onto Chaerin’s ear.

Beside them were..... Yunho with Eunmi. Yunho were drawing something on the paper and Eunmi said, “Don’t! It doesn’t look good if you stuff all the food in the middle like that!” she took the eraser and and grabbed the pencil from his hand.

I could see Changmin’s and Yunho’s manager was bringing some boxes along with Jae’s manager. Junsu’s manager was blowing balloons, pearl red balloons to be exact.

Am I still dreaming? I shut my eyes tightly and opened it again after few seconds. However, they were still there, all of them!

“G-guys?”

~ * ~