I felt Minsoo snake his hand around mine, sliding his fingers between mine. Our fingers securely locked around each other. I looked up at him and he looked down at me. I smiled at him and he smiled back. 

I turned to face the front again and bit my bottom lip, trying to prevent me to blush, but it was too late. 

 

We walked in a comfortable silence, while holding hands. His hand is big and rough and somehow it fitted my smaller hand perfectly. I felted so warm and my heart fluttered with delight as I walk next to him, holding his hand; feeling his presence. 

 

"Minsoo oppa, let's go back, it's already dark and I think Byunhyun is starting to get worried if I don't come back home soon," I said breaking the peaceful moment. 

 

He looked a bit disappointed, but nodded with a small smile. We walked back to his bike and drove off when we hopped on. 

 

After thirty minutes, we finally arrived to my house. I hopped off and he followed suit after shutting the engine. I took the my helmet and his coat. I handed back his items and he took them. He put the spared helmet in the seat and wore his coat again. 

 

"Do you want to come in?" I asked. 

He smiled and shook his head. 

 

"Oh, okay," I mumbled, a bit disappointed, "Then bye."

"Bye," he murmured softly. 

 

I turned my body to and started to walk to the gate. I paused at my steps and turned to face him again. 

 

"Is something wrong?" he asked and strolled over to me. 

"Um," I bit my bottom lip nervously. 

 

I quickly pecked him on the cheek and ran off to my house after mumbling a quick 'bye'.

I twisted the door nob and surprisingly, the door was unlocked. I quickly stepped in the house and slammed the behind me. I pressed my back on the wooden door breathing rapidly, while my hand clutched on my beating heart. 

 

It was beating really fast, like it had an engine attached to it and making it beat really fast. It almost feels like it was trying to leap out of my chest. I cupped my burning cheek with my other hand as I tried to calm myself down. 

 

After eternity, but I'm pretty sure it was just a couple minutes, I finally calmed myself down. My arms limped on the sides of my body as I looked up and my eyes traveled to the figure lazily leaning on wall behind the shoe rack eating an apple.

 

My eyes widen, almost having a heart attack seeing Byunhyun looking at me with a teasing smirk plastered on his face while he chewed.

 

"How long were you there?" I asked as I clutched my chest. 

 

He said nothing, but took another bite of his apple, still having that stupid smirk on his face. 

 

"Had fun on your date?" he asked in a teasing manner as I took off my heels.

My cheeks flustered as I remember the events happened on my date. My lips tugged upwards, forming a goofy grin.

 

"I see you really enjoyed it," he commented, emphasising 'really'. 

"And I see what you did before, you bad girl," he teased before I passed him. 

 

I immediately stopped walking, frozen on my spot. Did he see me kiss Minsoo on the cheek? Oh please no!

 

"Kissing him on the cheek, such a courageous girl," he teased and laughed. 

 

My eyes widen and my mouth gapped. 

 

He saw! NOOOOOOOO!

 

~*~

 

I peacefully lied on my bed with my eyes closed as I listened to birds outside of my widow happily chirping. I had been staying in the same position for quite a while now and I'm too lazy to get up and get ready, which I usually don't do. 

Today, I felt not so right. I'm probably being paranoid, but it feels like if I open my eyes, everything would start crumbling down. 

 

"Honey, I made breakfast. Go wash up and eat before the food becomes cold," I heard my mother's voice from the other side of the door. 

 

I sighed and slowly fluttered my eyes open. "Okay," replied her.

 

Once her footsteps couldn't be heard anymore, I sat up properly. I pushed my sheets to the side and looked at the clock on my bedside table, but before I can read the time on my alarm clock, I started to cough vigorously. I couldn't stop coughing. I felt my stomach started to hurt, I couldn't breathe properly and my throat started to burn. I brought my hands up to cover my mouth as I felt something coming up my throat. A metallic taste cover my taste buds and some warm liquid splatter on my palms. 

 

After a couple of minutes, I finally stopped coughing. I swallowed the metallic taste in my mouth and looked down at my palms. My eyes widen in horror and my breath caught in my throat. 

 

I coughed out blood. 

 

"Yah you, what are still doing in bed? Imo called for you five minutes ago," Byunhyun scolded me when he barged in my room, but I wasn't listening. I was looking down at my blood stained palms, frightened. 

 

"What's wrong?" I head Byunhyun tenderly, yet worriedly asked as he slowly walked to my bed, after shutting my bedroom door behind him. 

I heard him slightly gasp when he saw my palms covered with blood. 

 

"you what happened?" he exclaimed. 

 

I slowly and robotically turned my head to Byunhyun. He was kneeling in front of me, his eyes were full of concern and worry. My bottom lip trembled as I started at Byunhyun with a terrified expression. I let shaky breath and looked down at my palms again. 

 

"Oppa, why am I coughing out blood?" I asked shakily and softly. 

 

"Listen you, you have to call Doctor Choi," he told me and gently held my wrists. 

 

I feel sick from the pit of my stomach and very nausea. I'm not scared anymore, I'm petrified. Doctor Choi never said anything about coughing blood. What is actually happening inside my body? Why is this happening to me? Why do I feel this disease, this damn tumour, is controlling me?!

Unknowingly, tears started to fall from my eyes. They streamed down my cheek, down to my lap. 

 

"you," Byunhyun softly called me and brought me to his embrace. 

 

I clutched onto his shirt, staining it with my blood. I cried in his chest, muffling my wails. His shirt started to soak from my tears, but he still hugged me tightly and mumbled soft reassuring words. 

 

After a couple of minutes, I finally calmed myself down. I hiccuped as I looked at him. 

"Oppa, what is happening to me?" I asked softly, "This, this stupid tumour is breaking me apart!"

More tears streamed down my face and my bottom lip trembled. Byunhyun hushed me to stop crying and wiped my tears away with his thumbs. 

"Shhh, it will be okay," he assured me. 

 

What he said just made me snap. I don't know what happened to me, but my blood started to boil. I felt rage overtake me and my fingers curled into a tight fist. "Okay? Everything is going to okay?! We have cancer! Cancer! This disease is going to kill us! We're both going to die after a couple of months! Nothing is okay Byunhyun!" I shouted at him. 

 

I breath heavily, taking deep hollow breaths as tears rolled down my cheek

"Nothing is okay," I softly whispered and clutched my hair. 

 

I sobbed quietly to myself from frustration, anger and despair. 

 

Byunhyun hugged me tightly as I cried. I clutched onto the sides of his shirt for my dear life. I'm petrified because of this tumour, this disease. I can feel my death is coming. It's just waiting for the right time to grab me. 

 

"you," he called me softly, "look at me."

He placed his palm on my cheek, his thumb under my jaw and gently lift my head up. 

 

"you listen to me," he whispered softly. 

I stared straight into his eyes and tried to calm myself down. 

"Go and wash up first and call Doctor Choi after you're done," he told me. 

I sniffed and obediently nodded. 

"Ok, go," he said softly. 

 

I grabbed a tissue from my bedside table and wiped remaining blood from my lips and hands. I walked over to the bedroom door and threw the blood stained tissue in the bin, next to the door. I cupped the door handle and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes and opened the door. 

 

I hope nobody heard our conversation. 

 

I opened my eyes again and the first thing I saw was my mother with her hand over , with tears streaming down from her eyes. She looks terrified, sad and worried. 

 

My eyes widened in horror, my arms became limped and my body began stiff. My mouth gapped as I took short hollow breathes. 

 

"U-Umma?" I called softly. 

She let out a muffled sob as more tears poured from her eyes. 

 

"I-Imo," I heard Byunhyun said from behind me, as shocked as me. 

 

Her hand slowly slid down from and she quickly brought me in her arms.  

"You pabo girl! Why didn't you tell me?" she cried and squeezed my tighter and sobbed. 

I slowly lifter my arms to hug her, but I didn't hug her tightly, like how she is hugging me. It felt like if I don't hold her delicately she'll break. She looks so fragile, so hurt and it's all because of me. 

 

"U-Umma, mianhae," I apologised softly. 

Tears started to roll down from my eyes and soon I started crying with my mother. I squeezed her tighter, holding onto her for dear life. We cried on each others' shoulders and felt a pair of strong arms hold onto me and my mother. 

Byunhyun placed his chin between our heads as we sobbed. He held us tightly, like telling us everything is okay, even though Byunhyun and I know nothing will be all right. We're at our critical state of this sickness. Nothing can save us. Moreover, I think my condition is going faster than Doctor Choi detected. 

 

~*~

  

I put on my pink woollen beanie and walked out of my room. I walked to the front door and put on my converse. 

 

"BYUNHYUN! Hurry up!" I hollowed and grabbed my keys from the key holder.

 

"Alright, alright," he mumbled as walked down stares. 

 

"Why would you take so long to get ready? There is no point doing your hair when your shaving it off!" I nagged.

"Let me have my moment before I shaved it all off," he replied defensively. 

 

I rolled my eyes and walked out the house to Byunhyun's super bike. He walked out the house and locked the door behind him. He fixed his black beanie and jogged over to me and his bike. He hopped on and put on his leather gloves and helmet. I hopped on behind him and put on the helmet he gave me. Byunhyun started the engine and I tightly held on him before he sped off. 

 

After 10 minutes, we arrived at a cheap hairdresser. I took off my helmet and got off the Byunhyun's bike. I fixed my pink beanie and saw Minsoo, Chunji, Neil and Ricky walking towards us. 

 

I met eyes with Minsoo and he gave me a breath taking smile. My heart fluttered and butterflies tickled my stomach. I had to bite down on my bottom lip to hold back my grin. 

 

"Are you guys seriously doing this?" Chunji asked.

"Yep!" I chirped and nodded.

"Seriously?" Ricky asked with a are-you-crazy look.

"You're going to sh-shave all your hair?" Neil asked unsure, emphasising the word 'all'. 

"Uh ha!" I nodded.

"You guys should be proud of those two, it's for a good cause," Minsoo commented.

I smiled at him and he smiled back, making my heart skip a beat. 

 

"Okay! $50 to see us shave out head!" Byunhyun hollowed and took out an envelope. 

 

"50?!" Ricky exclaimed and his eyes widen as big as golf balls.

"It's for a good cause. We're donating all the money to the cancer foundation," Byunhyun scolded Ricky and slapped him at the back of his head. 

"Yeah!" Chunji and Neil added and hit Ricky's head after. 

"Ow," Ricky whined and rubbed his sore spots. 

 

"L.Joe hyung, I heard we can colour out hair too," Neil spoke up. 

"Oh yeah, we can contribute too!" Chunji clapped, "You're going to donate right?" he wiggled his brows at Byunhyun. 

 

"Of cause! We brought a lot of money just in case any of you want to contribute," I grinned. 

 

"How much did you guys bring anyway?" Byunhyun asked. 

 

"I bought 300 dollars," Chunji replied. 

"I got 350!" Neil grinned proudly. 

"Oh man! I only grabbed $150," Ricky pouted. 

 

"Tight ," Chunji commented. 

"I'm broke okay!" Ricky defended himself and pouted. 

 

"C.A.P hyung, how much did you bring?" Neil asked and all our heads turned to him. 

 

"Uh, I brought 500 dollars," he replied and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. 

 

"Woh! Hyung, you're loaded!" Ricky exclaimed. 

 

"Well they said it's to donate to the cancer institution and I just grabbed what I could find," he explained and smiled awkwardly. 

 

I looked at him with admiration and my lips slowly turned into a grin. My heard thumped in my chest and butterflies tickled the insides of my stomach. He's a one of a kind guy.

 

"Hey, let's all do something!" Chunji exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Ricky cheered.

"Alright!" Byunhyun said animatedly, "Everyone put all their money in the envelope except C.A.P."

"Eh? Why doesn't C.A.P hyung doesn't have to donate?" Ricky complained. 

"It's because he's paying for the hair cuts and colouring and what's left, he'll put it in the envelope," Byunhyun grinned. 

 

Minsoo shot him a glare, but ended up walking to the salon while rolling his eyes.

 

"Hyung wait up!" Chunji, Neil and Ricky grinned and ran to him.

 

"Let's go," I laughed and lightly slapped my cousin's arm. 

He chuckled and caught up with everyone else.

 

Minsoo pushed opened the glass door, the bell on top of the door charmed. 

 

"Welcome," a girl with long straight jet black hair with strands of neon colours dyed on her hair welcomed is at the counter. 

 

"Are you all having a hair cut?" She asked.

 

"Well, me and my cousin is going to shave our heads," Byunhyun told her and slung his arm over my shoulder. 

He have a goofy gummy smile, making the girl blush. 

 

"And we want to colour our hair!" Chunji declared, grabbing Neil and Ricky by the shoulders and sending the girl a flirty wink, making her blush even harder.

 

"O-okay. How about you?" She asked Minsoo. 

 

"Hm, I'll do both," he replied her after thinking about it a little while. 

 

"Are you guys doing it for 'Shave for Cancer?'" She asked. 

"Yep!" Ricky and Neil chirped.

"Mhm," Byunhyun hummed, while nodding his head and brought out the envelope full of money. 

"Wow, you guys are so neighbourly," she commented and smiled. 

 

I nervously smiled and shifted my eyes from left to right. I felt guilty. I shouldn't be called neighbourly or kind or anything. I'm doing this for my own selfish reasons. I'm doing this to hide the fact I'm going to lose all my hair no matter what.

 

"Well there are so many of you, why don't we do the two of you first, since you're both shaving all your hair off and it's faster," she said. 

Byunhyun and I nodded and went to the seats she elicited us. 

 

"APPA! WE HAVE CUSTOMERS!" The girl yelled. 

 

A middle aged man with nicely styled grey-white hair walked out from a room from the back of the store. 

 

"Appa, these two want to shave their hair," she gestured me and Byunhyun

"These three are dying their hair," she gestured Chanji, Neil and Ricky. 

"And he is doing both!" she clapped nodded to Minsoo. 

 

"Arraso," he nodded and walked to Byunhyun. 

 

"Yunhee, give the four young men a colour pallet," he ordered and pointed at a black shelf, "and when your done, you can do the girl's hair."

Yoonhee nodded and walked to the black shelf where the two colouring pallets were. She took out the  dye colour pallets, which looked like books and gave one fore Ricky and Neil to share and the other for Minsoo and Chunji. 

 

"I'm awfully sorry, we only have two, so I hope you guys don't mind sharing," she apologised and smiled sheepishly.

"Of cause, it's fine with us," Chunji assured her and grinned. 

"Okay then," she bowed and walked over to me.

 

She pulled the black trolley against the wall with all the equipment she needed. I pulled my pink beanie off my head and she put a large black plastic smock over. She tucked in a cloth in my shirt before bottoming the smock. 

 

"Are you really going to do this?" She asked while looking at me in the mirror. 

 

I gripped my beanie under the smock and took a deep breath. I smiled and nodded. 

 

"You're so brave and kind," she told me. 

I smiled softly and looked down on my lap. 

 

If only she knew. 

 

"Ara! We'll start now!" She declared and the boys ran over to us to see the barbers shave our hair off. 

 

The girl  grabbed a pair of scissors and a black comb from the trolley and started chopping my hair off. Chunks on black hair fell from her fingertips to to marble floor. I watched through the mirror as my long black hair shrinking as the girl snipped off my hair. 

When my hair was short enough, the girl place the pair of silver scissors back in the black trolley and grabbed the electric razor that was on the small bench in front of the mirror.

The razor buzzed as it came closer to me. I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut.

 

Here it comes.

 

The razor buzzed through my hair, tickling my scalp as it chomped on the roots of my hair. I shuddered every time the razzed touches my head. In no time, all my hair was on the marble floor, lying lifelessly, scattered all around the black leather chair. 

 

I turned to my right, seeing Byunhyun pout at me and then pouted at his reflection. I chuckled at his cuteness and looked back at the mirror in front of me, seeing the boys' mouths gapped open in the mirror. I chuckled softly, while the girl took off the smock and cloth and dusted off all the excess hair with a duster. 

 

"All done," she declared and smiled sweetly at me. 

I smiled back to her and hopped off the barber chair. 

 

"Close your mouths or a fly would fly in," Byunhyun scolded them with annoyance. 

 

"I can't believe you two really shaved your heads," Chanji said, which was more like a whisper. 

"I know," Neil nodded.

 

"So have you all chosen what colour to colour your hair yet?" Yunhee asked. 

"I want mine blue!" Ricky yelled eagerly and enthusiastically put his hand up. 

"Green!" Neil piped in. 

"Pink!" Chunji animatedly called out. 

We raised a brow at Chunji, judging him - judging him hard. 

"What?" he asked exaggeratedly. 

"Um… nothing?" I replied, but it kind of came out as a question.

 

"How about you young man?" The old barber ask Minsoo, making everyone's attention go to him. 

"I'll colour it a silver-blonde and shave the side and shorten my hair," he replied. 

The man nodded and asked Neil and Ricky to sit on the chairs that Byunhyun and I sat on before. He and his daughter dashed off the back to grab the dye and glad-wrap. Once they came out, the immediately started their work, after putting the black smock over the two boys to protect their clothes. 

 

"You made such a particular choice C.A.P hyung," Chunji commented. 

"Says the guy who chose pink," Byunhyun dead-panned. 

"Psht, what ever," Chunji scoffed. 

 

I laughed at the two and ran my hand over my scalp. 

"Missing your hair already?" Minsoo asked teasingly. 

I wrinkled led my nose in displease and sent him a playful glare. I put on my pink beanie and harrumphed, making him chuckle. 

 

After 2 and a half hours of waiting for the boys and Byunhyun's constant whining of how he misses his hair, we are finally done! Minsoo payed the hairdresser and put the rest in the envelope. We walked to the post office and sent off to the cancer fund. 

 

"Let's eat!" Ricky cheerfully said and threw his arms in the air. 

 

I checked the time on my phone and bit the bottom on my lips. I wearily glanced at Byunhyun and he gave me a small nod and smile, to keep me calm. 

 

"Sorry, guys," he said, getting the boys attention, "you and I have to go."

Minsoo's eyes darted to me, hoping I could stay a bit longer. I averted my eyes somewhere else, not wanting to look at him. He is having such a great effect on me and I don't know how to control it. My heart beats so fast just thinking about him and I can not explain how I feel when I'm with him. My feelings for him have to stop and his feelings for me defiantly have to end. It's not fair for him. He can't love someone that is in a critical state of cancer who will die anytime soon. It's not fair for him, just not fair. 

 

"Why?" the whine of Ricky's voice made me snap out of my trance. 

"Well, you and I are going somewhere," Byunhyun said and slung his arm over my shoulders. 

"And not bringing us?" Chunji dramatically gasped and over exaggeratedly placed his hand over his heart. 

"Are you two eloping," Neil suddenly yelled out, widening his eyes. 

"What the hell Neil?" Minsoo raised his brow and gave Neil a hard displeased look.

"Guys chill, especially you Neil," I said, "we are just going to the hospital for a body check up to see are we lacking on any nutrients."

"Oh!" Neil exaggeratedly breathed out. 

"You guys have screwed up minds you know that?" Byunhyun commented.

"Anyways, we're heading off now!" I announced, "Bye guys." I waved at Chunji, Neil and Ricky. My eyes finally landed at Minsoo. "Bye Minsoo," I said softly and gave him a shy smile. 

 

~*~

 

Byunhyun safely parked his super bike in  the garage. We hopped off the his bike and walked inside in silence, after my cousin put everything away. Once we opened the front door, we were greeted with a delicious aroma. 

 

"Oh, you two are finally home," my father stated and placed his bowl of rice and his chopsticks on the dinning table. 

 

I gave him a minute smile as I took my shoes off. I recalled what Doctor Choi told us after the meeting with the boys. 

 

"you, you have to tell your family. I think your condition have gone worse.  I'm also predicting another tumour is growing in your stomach or your lungs from what you told me," he explained. 

 

 "Come and have dinner honey," my mother told me and gave me a weak smile, trying to hold back her tears. 

 

I stood in front of the dinning table, my fists curled into tight fists. I harshly bit my bottom lip  as my parents worriedly stare at me. My mind became so jumbled up. I can't think straight. I have to tell them. I have to tell them that my condition might have gone worse, but how? I don't want them to get hurt. That's the last thing I want them to be. I can't bare to see umma cry again. I can't bare to see her so broken and vulnerable like last week when she overheard us. It broke my heart so much. Yet, they'll be even more hurt if I don't tell them. What can I do?

 

I looked to my left, seeing Byunhyun standing next to me and gave me a small smile, telling me, 'it's time to tell them', but I'm scared. At the same time I can't let Byunhyun down. He has been by side for so long. He has supported me and held me up. 

 

Tears brimmed my eyes as so many emotions and thoughts rushing through me. I shut my eyes tight and looked down, tightening my fists. I have to tell them. I can't let Byunhyun down. I don't want them to get hurt. I love them. 

 

I slowly looked up and opened my eye. My vision was blurry because of the thin layer of tears covering my eyes. I blinked, tears rolled down from my eyes. I gulped, preparing myself as my father looked at me worriedly, my mother bitting her lower lip, looking at her bowl of rice, looking like she's about to cry. 

 

It's now or never. I have to let it out of me that was in my chest over a month. 

I turned to Byunhyun for support and he grabbed my hand and held it tightly. He gave me a small nod and smile. 

I gulped and turn to the front, where my parents were. The truth cannot be reversed, so it has to be told. 

 

My beating heart hammered onto my chest, like it want to break through my ribcage. I'm nervous, prettified and vulnerable. I want to run and hide, but I can't. I just can't. 

 

"Umma, appa," I started, my dry lips. 

Byunhyun squeaked my hand, giving me support, making my beating heart calm down a bit. 

I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath. "Byunhyun and I have cancer," I whispered, "and we're going to die in a couple of months." That's when everything came crashing down. Tears fell from my eyes, my mother started wailing and my heart broke.

 

Please stop crying my dearest mother. 

 

I opened my eyes, seeing my father in shock. Byunhyun's grip loosened as he groaned in pain. His body started to become unbalanced and crashed into the floor. He let out a painful scream as he clutched onto his right ear. 

 

"Byunhyun! What's wrong," my father yelled worriedly as he leaped out of his seat to him. 

 

I stared at him in horror until my head started to throb. I clutch my head as it hurt even more. I tried to suppress my groans of pain, but it's getting worse by the second. I screamed in agonising pain as I crashed in my knees. 

 

I heard my parents coming to my aid, but I could not hear anything. I could not feel anything, but this agonising pain banging in my head and the pain I'm feeling in my heart. It hurts so much that I just want to die. It felt like death. It so unbearable. 

 

I let out another torturous scream. It hurts so much that I want to die. Please take this pain away.

---

A/N Ahehehe. Hi :D

I know, it's been a while and um… hehe :D

I'm sorry, but here's another chapter! Hope you guys enjoyed it!

And I'll edit it later!   It is edited!

As always… please comment and subscribe; and thanks for reading!