Baby Steps

 

Your POV

 

I cried as I watched you leave. Why? Why did you have to leave me? I though you love me. Or was it loved? I fell on my knees, covered my face with my hands and cry. For the very first time after many years, I cried and cried. I didn’t know what to do… all I want is have you back in my arms but.. is that even possible? Is it?

 

You told me that you’re not going to hurt me so I gave you a chance, but what did you do? You did hurt me. I am a mess right now, do you even know that? I remembered the first time you talked to me, you were innocent and shy but later on, I have found out who you really are and it didn’t changed the fact that I love you. I still and I will. I’m stupid I know that. Isn’t this what love makes us? Stupid, hurt and alone.

 

I can’t remove from my mind how you held me in your arms so tight. When we just lay on the bed, cuddling and talking about stuffs. I miss those times. I wish I can go back but that’s impossible.

 

I stopped crying, took all my strength just to stand up and walked home. Do you call yourself bitter if you’re jealous of every couple on the streets, being sweet like how you guys used to be. I looked down, afraid of getting hurt more by the jealousy I’m feeling.

 

When I got home, I looked at our pictures. I trailed my fingers on your handsome picture. I used to trail my fingers on the real you, on your handsome face but now all I can do is stare at your picture.

 

I think and think what  I’ve done for you to leave. I’m going crazy by just thinking, knowing I didn’t do anything wrong. You always told me, you hated hurting people, but what are you doing now? You’re hurting me more by leaving.

 

I hate you. I really do.

 

I hate you for making me love you..

 

I hate you for making me insane by just thinking about you.

 

I hate you for breaking your promise just like that..

 

I hate you that you didn’t even change..you told me you would, but what did you do?

 

You hurt me, you left me and you broke your promise.

 

Am I not enough?

 

Did I bore you?

 

I really want to know..

 

Please, come back and tell me.

I cried myself to sleep that night. When I woke up, I felt the loneliness took over me. I remembered what my mom used to tell me…

 

“Promises are meant to be broken.”

 

I didn’t believe at first..

But now I do.