Donghae sits on the couch watching TV, listening to the pitter patter of soft footsteps in the kitchen. Kyuhyun is cooking tonight, even though Donghae begged him not to. Kyuhyun insisted, saying he wanted to be a good house husband. Donghae laughed at him. We’re not married, Kyuhyun, he’d say. Kyuhyun would pout and go back to stirring some unidentifiable mush in a pot. Donghae would get up and envelope him in a back hug, apologizing and promising that they’d get to that stage when the time was right.

---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---

Donghae had been right about Kyuhyun’s cooking. The supposed ‘spaghetti’ had turned out to be more of a mushy glob of droopy noodles than an appetizing entrée.

“Sorry.” Kyuhyun apologized as they drove to a nearby pizza restaurant.

“It’s fine. At least you tried, right?” Donghae smiled at him, covering the ashamed younger boy’s pale hands. “Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

The stop light turned to red and Donghae seized the moment to press a reassuring kiss to Kyuhyun’s forever pouty lips. Kyuhyun gladly returned to gesture, smiling into the sweetness. The light turns green and Donghae gets the car rolling forward.

---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---

Everything is a blur. There’s the sound of tires screeching and metal crunching. A faint “Kyuhyun!” can be heard and a tangle of limbs felt. It happens so quick, Kyuhyun’s mind is filled with too much panic to even try to comprehend what’s happening.

He’s on the road, red liquid rolling down the side of his face. He can’t see much, but he makes out the shape of Donghae dragging his body towards him. Donghae with his eyes wide, tears flowing, mouth open, blood trickling down the sides of his face and saying something incoherent. He tries to reach his hand out towards him, but finds the action impossible, painful.

“Hae…Hae.” He whimpers before everything turns black.

---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---

Kyuhyun is woken up by someone grasping his hand tightly and singing a song to him. The voice is unrecognizable, but it’s still one of the most beautiful he’s heard. It’s like an antique store, he thinks, comforting and warm. Kyuhyun flutters his eyes open and takes in his surroundings.

“Kyuhyun? Oh god, Kyuhyun, you’re awake. You’re awake. Baby, you’re awake.” Donghae sobs and releases Kyuhyun’s hand, opting to pull him into a bone crushing hug instead.

Kyuhyun just smiles at him because he can’t think of anything else to do.

“Where am I?” He questions softly.

“You’re in the hospital, Kyuhyun. We were in an accident, remember?” Donghae answers him carefully so as not to trigger any bad memories. Kyuhyun nods slowly, vaguely remembering flashing lights and excruciating pain.

“Oh.” Donghae pushes his hair back tenderly, holding Kyuhyun’s face softly in the other. “Can I ask another question?”

“Sure, baby. Ask away.”

“Who are you?” Kyuhyun looks at him with big, doe eyes blinking in curiosity and slight confusion.

---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---

The doctor’s assure Donghae that the memory loss is only temporary. Donghae takes the benefit of the doubt, hope building up deep inside his heart. He watches Kyuhyun talk to his mother from the door of his hospital room. Kyuhyun doesn’t really remember her either, but you can’t truly forget your mother so he warms up to her quickly. They started to act as mother and son again within an hour. The bond they have only increasing with the seconds.

Kyuhyun’s mother leaves and Donghae is left to deal with an upset Kyuhyun. He doesn’t know who Donghae is and that irks him so much. He tries to remember, he really does. In fact, he almost makes himself pass out in the process. Donghae has to calm him down when he starts sobbing.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He wails.

Donghae comforts him, promising that there is nothing for him to be sorry about, that this isn’t his fault. He’s just happy that Kyuhyun is alive and healthy.

---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---

The next few days in the hospital, Donghae never leaves Kyuhyun’s side. He tries to make time go by faster by telling Kyuhyun stories about their adventures together and little habits that Kyuhyun has. Kyuhyun laughs at some of them like his cooking escapades and accidentally locking himself outside of the apartment. Other times, he cries. Those times Donghae is usually telling him about how they’d lounge around all day, just enjoying each other’s presence. Kyuhyun cries because as Donghae tells those stories, he can see the sadness in his eyes, the want to have times like those again. He feels apologetic, but he can’t do anything about it. His memory is refusing to come back.

---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---

One day, Donghae takes Kyuhyun to the hospital’s outdoor area for patients. They sit together on a bench and watch the other patients hobble around in walkers. Kyuhyun requests Donghae to tell him another story.

Donghae decides to tell him about the day he confessed his love for Kyuhyun.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been the week after midterms. Donghae, Kyuhyun, Hyukjae and Sungmin were all at a small Chinese restaurant, rewarding themselves for working so hard the past week. Hyukjae leaves first, Sungmin follows soon after. Donghae and Kyuhyun are left together and Donghae decides this is the perfect time to say something. He offers to walk Kyuhyun home since they live in the same direction anyways.

Kyuhyun complains that it’s cold outside and Donghae takes the liberty to pull Kyuhyun close to him. Only so they won’t freeze, he tells himself. Instead of heading straight home, Kyuhyun insists on playing at the park for a while.

“Aren’t we a little too old for that?” Donghae his head to the side.

“No.” Kyuhyun answered sternly before running off to the swings. Donghae chases after and takes the swing next to him. They swing silently for a while, the cold air nipping at their noses as they fly forwards and backwards. Donghae looks at Kyuhyun’s smiling face and thinks he’s never been more beautiful.

Donghae stops swinging and waits for Kyuhyun to follow. He stares at him for a while, trying to form the words dying to escape from his mouth.

“Spit it out, Donghae. You’re going to give yourself a brain aneurysm.” Kyuhyun said snorting at Donghae’s frustrated facial expression.

“Kyuhyun, I need to tell you something.” He mumbled. Kyuhyun stuck his hand, signalling for him to go on. “I know this is really sudden and I’ll totally understand if you hate me for this, oh god I hope you won’t though, that’d be so horrible—“

“Donghae, seriously just say it already.” Kyuhyun shoved his swing a little.

“Kyuhyun, I really like you.” Donghae said it quickly, regretting it as soon as the words left his mouth.

Kyuhyun got up from his swing and Donghae’s heart shattered, thinking Kyuhyun was disgusted by him and was leaving him forever.  Instead, Donghae is pulled off of his swing and his lips are being pressed against Kyuhyun’s and the feeling is exactly how he imagined and suddenly everything is so warm and perfect. Kyuhyun pulls away and laughs because that’s all he can think of doing at that moment. Donghae laughs along with him because he did it; he revealed his true feelings and Kyuhyun doesn’t hate him, quite the opposite actually.

“Took you freaking long enough.” Kyuhyun kisses him again and Donghae thinks maybe it did take too long, but it’s okay. He has Kyuhyun to himself now and that’s all that matters.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Donghae, what am I to you exactly?” Kyuhyun asks when he’s done.

“The love of my life, Kyuhyun.” Donghae answers without skipping a beat. Kyuhyun cries again because he feels even worse for not remembering.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”

---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---

“So, I live with you?” Kyuhyun inquires as Donghae packs all of Kyuhyun’s things he had brought to the hospital. The doctor’s decided he was stable enough to go home after 3 weeks, although, they still weren’t sure when or if he’d gain his memory back.

“Yes, we live together.” Donghae had grown accustom to Kyuhyun’s child-like bewilderment whenever he’d ask something about their relationship. His favourite of these moments was when Kyuhyun asked if they had slept together. All the time, he’d answered. He didn’t realise that that wasn’t the kind of sleeping Kyuhyun meant until Kyuhyun covered his eyes and a bright blush peeked onto his cheeks. Donghae laughed much to Kyuhyun’s displeasure.

“Do I have to sleep in the same bed as you?” Kyuhyun was scared to say the least. He’d requested to stay with his mother at first, but later on decided against it. He thought that maybe being home with Donghae would jog his memory and things would go back to normal.

“Not if you don’t want to.” Donghae answered patting him on the head. “Come on, let’s go.”

---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---

Kyuhyun wandered around the house, inspecting everything, hoping that a misplaced book or unfluffed pillow would suddenly make everything come back to him. He ventured to what he assumed was his room and slay on the bed, making sheet angels and trying to find a comfortable spot. He decided the left side seemed decent enough and laid there for a while, inhaling the semi-familiar scent of the pillows.

“You always sleep on that side.” Donghae says from the doorway.

“Donghae, I think I remembered something.” Kyuhyun murmured. “Nothing big, I just……the bed just seems really familiar.”

“That’s good. That’s really great. Maybe you’re finally coming around, Kyuhyun!” Donghae plops down on the bed next to him. Kyuhyun scoots away, uncomfortable with the close proximity. Donghae frowns and gets off the bed. “I’ll be in the living room, okay? Call me if you need anything.”

---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---

Donghae sleeps on the couch that night due to Kyuhyun’s persistent pleas. He shouldn’t be so hurt, Kyuhyun doesn’t remember him after all and he must be half scared to death with the whole situation, but that doesn’t stop the tears from flowing. He cries himself into a deep slumber, dreaming of Kyuhyun sitting on the couch next to him, cuddling and twisting his fingers into his curly locks.

---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---

He wakes up to the feeling of feather like touches to his face. Donghae grabs the hand and opens his eyes to see Kyuhyun sitting on the floor, looking at him with round eyes filled with terror.

“What’s wrong?” He asks immediately, releasing Kyuhyun’s hand.

“I couldn’t sleep. I can’t.”

Donghae pulls Kyuhyun to him, confused by his stiffness, until he remembers that Kyuhyun isn’t used to this. He lets Kyuhyun go and they sit quietly for a while until Kyuhyun breaks the silence.

“Hug me again.” He demands and Donghae more than gladly obliges. Kyuhyun wraps his arms around him this time, squeezing him tight just like he used. Donghae sighs sadly into his hair.

“I’m sorry, Donghae. I’m so sorry.”

---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---

After three days of getting Kyuhyun accustomed to the lay out of their house, Donghae takes him to the park where they first met. He sets Kyuhyun on the swing and pushes him. Kyuhyun laughs and his smiles makes his cheeks stick out like apples. Donghae gives him a melancholy smile because that’s really the only emotion he can muster up at the moment. He’s glad he can share this moment with Kyuhyun again, even if it’s not exactly the same.

“Donghae, I remembered something.” Kyuhyun says, smile falling. “You called me Kyu. That’s all I can remember. It’s not enough, but it’s something right?” He asks, hoping for reassurance, comfort, anything that tells him he’s doing better and he’ll get his memory back soon. Donghae just nods. It’s not enough, he agrees silently.

Kyuhyun hops off the swing and wraps his arms around Donghae. He’s been hugging Donghae a lot lately. Donghae doesn’t mind though, the closeness settles his distressed heart.

“You can call me that if you want to. I don’t mind.”

On their way home, Kyuhyun musters up the courage to link his pinkie with Donghae’s.  Donghae almost cries. Kyuhyun used to do that all the time.

---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---

A few more weeks pass and Kyuhyun remembers certain smells and bits and pieces of his relationship with Donghae. Nothing significant, but it’s there and it gives them hope.

---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---

Two months later, they’re sitting on the couch together. Donghae lays on his side, legs hanging over the edge and Kyuhyun sitting cross legged on his. Donghae flips through channels mindlessly, trying to find something to ease the emptiness in his heart. Kyuhyun plays with the hem of his shirt and fumbles with him hands, trying to process the short memories he has in his head. They’re nothing of value; short scenes of a vase full of cherry blossoms and a light blue hoodie aren’t really doing anything for him.

Kyuhyun gets up from the couch and places himself on the floor in front of Donghae.

“What’s wrong, Kyu?” Donghae asks setting the remote down, all eyes on Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun’s heart flutters at the nickname, a new sensation he’s yet to grow used to.  Kyuhyun stares at him for a while, contemplating whether or not what he’s about to do is a bad idea or not. “Kyu?”

Kyuhyun leans forward slowly towards Donghae’s face. He hesitates when he’s less than a centimetre away from Donghae’s perfect lips. Donghae looks back at him, searching for the familiar twinkle in Kyuhyun’s eyes. He finds nothing but an indecisive, scared, determined spark. Kyuhyun takes a deep breath and releases it. He closes his eyes and plants his lips on Donghae’s. It’s sweet and nervous. Cute, compared to what Donghae and him used to do.

Kyuhyun hops up from the floor and runs to their room quickly, face flushed. Donghae can’t help but laugh.

---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---

Another two months and Kyuhyun finally lets Donghae sleep in the bed with him. He’s finally comfortable with hugs, holding hands and short kisses. Kyuhyun’s not anything like the old Kyuhyun, but Donghae’s okay with that. He’s just glad that Kyuhyun actually stayed and didn’t run away. He’s glad that he still has Kyuhyun in his life. That’s all he needs anyways. They’ll get back to their old ways soon.

At this point, Donghae has completely given up on Kyuhyun regaining his memory. The thought makes him a little sad. All the beautiful, important memories they made together will only remain in Donghae’s mind and Kyuhyun will never get to enjoy them.

Kyuhyun cuddles up to him one night, aching for warmth and a soft embrace.

“Donghae,” He whispers. “I’m going to remember. I promise.”

Donghae only pulls him closer. What could he have said anyways?

---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---.---

It’s been a year and 4 months now. Kyuhyun has shown no more signs of progression. He’s only capable of making new memories now.

Donghae watches Kyuhyun playing Starcraft on his laptop. He used to be really good at it before the accident, now he was almost professional level. He leans his head on Kyuhyun’s shoulder, admiring the way Kyuhyun effortlessly kills off a group of Protoss. Kyuhyun leans his head onto his and continues playing his beloved game. It almost feels like they’re back to normal, almost.

Kyuhyun closes his laptop and stares at the wall. Donghae lifts his head from Kyuhyun’s shoulder and stares at the wall too.

“I’m sorry.” Kyuhyun apologizes for what seems like the billionth time.

“Kyu, I told you that you have nothing to be sorry for.”

“The accident, it was my fault. If I wouldn’t have cooked none of this would have happened. I wouldn’t have forgotten you. We would’ve been happy. It’s my entire fault.”

“Kyuhyun, no, it’s not. It’s okay. Don’t be sorry, please.” Donghae presses kisses to Kyuhyun’s tear stained face, trying to prevent more tears from falling. “I know it’s frustrating. I know, baby. None of this is your fault. Don’t ever think that.”

Kyuhyun pulls away from him and wipes his own tears, “No! It is my fault, Hae! If I would’ve just listened to you I would remember everything. I would remember your birthday is coming up on the 15^th. I would remember that you promised we would get married. I would remember that you cry every time you watch the Lion King because you and Simba have the loss of your father’s in common. Donghae, it’s my fault.” He wailed throwing his hands up in the air in frustration.

“Kyuhyun,” Donghae stopped him. “I haven’t told you my birthday. I haven’t told you anything about getting married or the Lion King.”

“What? But you told me right before we left to get pizza; you said when the time was right.” Donghae looked at him in bewilderment; he didn’t remember any of this before. Kyuhyun’s face went blank and when he finally came back from whatever far away land his mind left, he was crying all over again. This time, they were tears of joy. “Donghae! Donghae! I remember!”

Donghae wasn’t quite sure whether he should laugh or cry or scream. So he did all three, turning into a ball of hysterics right in front of his lover. He pulled Kyuhyun into the tightest hug he could manage and placed kisses all over his face, landing on his lips. He finally kissed Kyuhyun passionately after waiting for so long.

“You’re back! You’re back, Kyuhyun! Kyuhyun, you don’t know how much I’ve missed you.”

“I’m so sorry, Hae. I’m so sorry I put you through this. I’m sorry.” Kyuhyun apologized into Donghae’s shoulders. Donghae kissed Kyuhyun until his tears ceased and they were both sitting in a puddle of tears.

“Would you please stop apologizing already?”

Total word count: 3,055 Pages: 7

This story is my baby omg. I wrote so much. I'm really happy with it. Except for the end, but I at endings so it was bound to happen.