It’s been a year since I last saw him. 

A year since we broke up.

And he was right in front of me. Our eyes met and I can feel my heart palpitating, which I believe is super weird because it shouldn’t be doing that… not anymore.

He walked fast towards me and stopped as he got near. “Hi… Jinki” He gave his smile. A smile that never left my mind. That was never erased in my brain. 

I was sitting on the bench looking at him with daze, with so much awe. 

“Ki…bum” 

“Nothing changed on you, I’m surprised” he sat beside me and continued speaking. “You’re still the same simple guy that I know, Jinki” He chuckled. I hope he knows how much I missed that laugh of his.

“What do I have to change? Aren’t I perfect already?” I joked and smiled back. 

“If you continue saying that, I’ll cut your lips” He replied wittily. As usual, He didn’t change too. I pouted.

“How have you been?” I asked out of nowhere. I guess there’s still some awkwardness around us. I’m trying to get rid of that, I just hope I can.

“I’ve been pretty good. New apartment, New Career… just New Life. How about you? ”

He tilted his head, showing a bit curiosity and interest. 

“Fine… fine. Having a normal life, I guess?” my voice cracked. Maybe because this is not the reply I wanted to tell him. But… there’s no other choice than to be careful with my answers and avoid ruining such moment.

Surprisingly, our conversation went on and on. Anyone can actually tell how long we didn’t see each other if they base it one our stories. The ones we shared for hours. His stay in New York, My training at some entertainment 

“I bet you’re still in love with chickens”

“I sure do” 

“You’re ing retarded. Don’t you know you’re actually killing them?”

“I pray for them and thank them for being so delicious”

And our laughter faded as the topic went deep. As the topic changed about ‘us’.

“What exactly happened between us, really?” He looked up and I heard him let out a single chuckle. 

“I… don’t know” I shrugged. And his soft laughs went after.

"honestly…"

"…"

“I didn’t want to break up. I actually can’t picture myself without you” He looked down and bit his lips.

“I didn’t want that too. I wanted to get us back together but… I lost all contacts from you” and silence. I calmly stomped my feet  numerous times.

“I’m sorry, It’s my entire fault.. and I went straight to America a week after that day” His voice got softer. As if he’s whispering. 

Leaves rustling.

Birds tweeting .

Memories coming back.

He wasn't paying attention. He was too busy doing his work. Too occupied to spend time with me.

"Kibum.. Can't you take a break for awhile? I heard there's a new movie coming---"

"I need to finish the designs for my collection, maybe next time. Sorry~ I'll make it up to you. I promise" He smiled and went back doing his work.

It was always like that. If it's not for his collection, it's for his numerous clients.

and Jonghyun, his personal assistant. he's spending a lot more time with him. I know it's for work but I can't help myself to be jealous.

I heard them laugh and talk about something I'm not aware of. not in my side of world. 

I cried every night.. thought if he ever misses me. 

We grew far and far away from each other but ironically living together. It got awfully awkward between us.

and that day came, the day that I didn't want to happen. I woke up realizing that Kibum wasn't beside me anymore. that exact moment.. I knew what was happening.

I knew that it was over. He was gone and I didn't see him after that  anymore.

"I did that because I knew that you've been crying every night and I can't take it. I wanted to make up everything for you but you seem too far away from me already" 

I had my eyes on him. my full attention was on him. he did felt a wall between us those days.

"I know I made you be like that and I regretted it.. You don't know how much I've missed you back then"

“I don’t mind that.. it was the past” I replied. He looked at me; I smiled weakly and continued… “I just… I just want you back” I felt a deep lump on my throat. As I tried to stop a single tear from falling. 

He hugged me. I didn’t mind if he was suffocating me already but I’ve missed this. I missed him. 

“I still love you Jinki. I thought we'll never gonna be back again” He buried his face on my shoulder and sobbed.

“No. I love you too much to do that” I kissed his forehead. Like the old times. He liked it and I’m happy he still does.

"I love you Jinki and I'm sorry"

And from that day onwards, we promised we won’t be leaving each other again. 

"I'll make it up to you and this time.. I swear, I really mean it" I smiled and kissed his cheeks, he proceeded..

"I did mention I've got a new career right?" We both stared at each other as I fixed his bangs "I'll support you with whatever career you'll have Kibum.. even if it's being a designer again"