Review

Just Once

 

just once

 

Reviewer: 2pmvietguh
Site: http://2pmvietguh.blogspot.com/


Title: 9/10

It's a simple title, yet it fits with your fan fic well because it ties along with how Chansung felt; all he asked for is "Just once, he would like to have someone feel the same way about him."

Plot: 22/25

It happens to be that every single girl that Chansung has a crush on, they end up with one of his hyungs. He is always stuck in a one sided romance. Towards the end of the oneshot, Chansung mentioned about Park Hana, a girl that he met in the campus cookery class; and that he fell for.

(In my opinion, I think that you could have elaborated more on Chansung and Hana's relationship.)


Originality: 19/20

(Reviewer's Note: Originality is based on me, the reviewer. Just because you (as in readers) have read a fan fic or whatever that's similar to this, it doesn't mean that I have. So, this is my opinion, my views, so yeah. . Just had to get that out of the way.)

I didn't really find that many cliches, except for how Chansung is always in a one sided romance, and that at the end he found someone to be with. That's about it.

Grammar/Spelling/Vocabulary/Punctuation: 13/15

There were only a few minor spelling errors- Words that are in bold or are in parenthesis are the ones that I've corrected:

(they had been locked in one the rooms when Suka and Taec were arguing) 

^ I'm not sure if you've meant: "..locked in one of the rooms" or "..locked in one room.."

He had confessed having feelings for Kass, startling the latter who became flustered and dear (dare) he say

He didn’t know why, and to this day he still didn’t, but he had found himself walking into the class only to stop himself in front of the girl and brush the flour of (off) her nose. 

He blew the flour of  (off) the girl’s nose before brushing his finger along it, removing the remaining specks of white dust.

Flow: 4.5/5

As a oneshot, it didn't take too long to progress, nor did it take too quick, but like I've said before, you could have elborated more on Chansung and Hana's relationship.


Writing Style: 15/15

I absolutely love your writing style and word choices. I also like your idea of linking your characters with other fan fics.


Other++ 10/10

2pm's Chansungie! <3

Author's random note: This is actually my first time ever reading a Chansung oneshot/fan fic, and I like it!


Total: 92/100 

 

 

http://4ever2pmreviews.blogspot.com/2011/04/just-once.html

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Comments

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brat2104 #1
Chapter 1: Cute!
xxxKissTheAngelxxx
#2
awww! This is so perfect and sweet, i totally love it! ^-^
JokersXmastermind #3
Omg so cute <3<br />
Yay for Chansung!! Finally the maknae has someone!!<br />
Loving the connections ^^
daydreams_
#4
Glad that Chansung finally gets a girl~! :D
oxygenbubble
#5
Holy. EVERYONE has SOMEONE. There are links EVERYWHERE <br />
Why are you two doing oneshots. You're making me jealous.
taemnation--fanfics
#6
YES THIS IS LIKE SO AWESOMEE <3<3 i love thisss ! <3
dearkoala #7
I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!<br />
And like ate said, the linkages.^^<br />
FINALLY he gets the umbrella girl. xD
staticdream
#8
LOL so i reread the epicness and LOL'd. Chansung had a crush on ALL his hyung's girls before getting his own XD well maybe not Suka, but Minji in another story yes XD
staticdream
#9
and so finally Chansung gets the girl XD<br />
<br />
-loling at all the linkages- <3 we should start this trend of writing cross-over fanfics XD