Dancing On My Own- Pixie Lott ft. GD and TOP

The sky was dark with clouds, and my room was empty, when I opened my eyes, allowing the scent of rain to haze through my already weathered and worn mind, just as the memory of last night wandered through my head.

I had to let go of him.

Burying my face under my comforter, I stayed in bed, mulling over my decision until a rather puzzled looking Dong Woo came to shake me awake.

Maybe it was fate, then, that Jin Young came to me after breakfast holding a printed sheet of paper.

“You’ve been requested as a cast member for the musical “Brave Brothers”, Jung Hwan,” he said as he passed me the paper. “Manager said to tell him your decision as soon as possible.”

“Yes, yes please,” I said, rubbing at my eyes, still sore and puffy from the tears, without even glancing at the paper. Anything to get my mind off Sun Woo.

“Are you sure?” Jin Young said sceptically. “The commitment’s pretty serious.”

“Goodness knows I could use something to occupy me right now,” I said flatly, taking the paper, skimming through its contents. Jin Young raised an eyebrow at me.

“You say that like we’re not busy enough,” he muttered.

You’re busy enough,I thought bitterly.

It turned out that Jin Young was right, and the commitment was quite serious. I was given just a week to memorise my lines and songs for the first part of the musical, before the first official rehearsal. This meant that once I’d finished my official schedule for the day, I had to go straight to one of the studios in the company building to start practicing. Sometimes Jin Young and Dong Woo would come up to critique my singing, and help me practice, and Chansik would come and keep me company while he poked fun at my singing poses and pulled funny faces while I was singing, but, as I could only expect, Baro never came.

I pretended that I didn’t care. Sometimes, my lies were so convincing, I almost believed them myself.

It got to a point where I hardly saw any of the others anymore, other than our own rehearsals, or the occasional meal.

Things with Baro only got worse. Previously, he’d only been indifferent, uncaring, perhaps unknowing to the circumstances around him, but now, he started to grow colder towards me. He hardly spoke a word to me, and when he did, his voice was bitter. He also started to do things that confused me to no end, things I just couldn’t explain.

After an impromptu makeup rehearsal late one night, some of the cast members wanted to go out for a drink, and, having nothing better to do, and no schedule the next morning, I followed them when the invite was shouted out.

Their idea of a drink was to head to one of the higher-end pubs a few streets over, and rent one of the VIP rooms, before drinking the celebrity’s problems away. Sitting alone, holding a dark viridian drink that tasted both bitter and sour at the same time, I found myself wishing for a mug of hot chocolate, a blueberry waffle, and the person I needed most in the world right now.

The alcohol just made the emptiness feel worse.

Waking up the next morning at eleven, suffering from a slight alcohol-induced haze, I reminded myself to thank Jin Young for not forcing me up in the morning, before dragging myself from bed to the bathroom.

Most of the others had already left for their separate schedule, so Chansik was the only one left in the dorm when I emerged from the shower later, feeling decidedly more clear-headed.

He fussed over me for a while, and brewed me some chrysanthemum tea to clear my mind. Grateful that we had such a caring maknae, I drank as much of it as I could, sitting on the sofa, waiting for the minor hangover to disappear.

Checking my phone later that morning, I felt a stab of guilt to see that I had a message from Dong Woo asking where I was, and two missed calls from Jin Young, and I made a mental note to apologise to them later, but not before I scrolled down to see that I also had a missed call from Baro.

My throat went dry.

My heart started pounding wildly in my chest, wondering why on Earth he would have called me. Was it by accident? Probably. But...but what if, what if he’d called to check on how I was? There was a possibility, right?

My fingers trembling, I pressed the “call back” button, and lifted the phone to my ear.

The phone rang once, twice, thrice, and before I could ponder once more whether this was a good idea, he picked up.

“Hello?” he asked, and I could tell that he hadn’t checked the caller ID before answering.

“Sun Woo-ah?”

He fell silent for a few moments, before replying, “What?”

I took a deep breath, willing myself to continue.

“I saw your missed call from last night. Why’d you call?”

“Oh,” he said, his voice suddenly changing for a split second, making me wonder just what exactly was running through his mind, making me wish in vain that I could see his face. “Well...actually, I...last night, I wanted to ask you if...”

The sound of someone shouting on the other end drowned out his voice, and I momentarily cursed that person. Baro said something back, before returning his attention to the phone.

“Uh, Jung Hwan, I have to go now, I’m busy,” he said, before bidding a hasty goodbye, and hanging up.

I stared at my phone a long time after the call was terminated.

It was only then, as I looked at the little numbers on the top right of my screen showing the date and time, that I realised, with a funny little jolt, that yesterday was the first Friday of the month.

We were gathered in the living room on Saturday night, having just finished our weekly meeting, when Baro did something else that baffled me to no end. I was memorising my lines on the sofa, as Jin Young had banned me from going to the studio that night. Dong Woo was reading a novel to my left, and Jin Young was on his left, practicing his Japanese. Chansik had stolen Jin Young’s lap top, and was now leisurely surfing the net on the floor beside the cabinet. And Baro...Baro was plugged into his iPod, flipping through a magazine at the low-level dining table.

This peaceful (at least, outwardly) monotony had continued until Chansik suddenly gasped, clapping a hand over his mouth, drawing our attention in the way only Chansik could.

“Sandeullie-hyung!” he said in a scandalised voice. “How could you?!”

“How could I what?” I asked blankly.

“Kiss the noona in your cast!” He said indignantly, flipping the laptop around to show a picture of me with the lips of one of the other singers against mine. The headlines above screamed triumphantly, “B1A4 VOCALIST LIPLOCKS WITH CAST MEMBER DURING BRAVE BROTHERS PRESS CONFERENCE”. “That’s total betrayal! Could you at least introduce us to her friends first?”

Dong Woo whistled as he leaned forward to see. “Not a bad catch, Jung Hwan. She’s pretty good-looking.”

“It was just fanservice,” I said, but I still flushed in embarrassment. “Besides, she kissed me, not the other way around.”

“Do you like her?” Jin Young asked smugly, and I scoffed.

“She’s nice, yes, but I don’t like her.”

“Deniaaaallll~” Chansik sang, going down the web page, probably looking for more photos.

There was silence for a moment, until a much deeper voice spoke again.

“Kissing a girl on your first solo project?” Baro said, not taking his eyes off his magazine. “That’s cheap, Jung Hwan.”

I glared at him from the sofa. “Are you saying I’m cheap?”

I expected him to come up with some sarcastic, witty reply that would have us all in stitches, like he always did, like he always used to, but instead, he merely glared back and said, “yes.”

The air in the room was, needless to say, extremely tense after that, such that Jin Young stood up a few seconds later, clapped his hands, made some surprised statement about how late it was getting, and started chivvying us all off to bed.

The rest of B1A4 had to notice the difference in the way we were acting. But, other than occasional worried or questioning glances sent our way, they didn’t show it.

The ache in my chest was steadily worsening. I’d been hoping that time would fill the stark void that Baro had left in me, but it had served to do nothing but deepen the wounds.

It was on a Saturday night, two weeks later, however, that Baro took me aside, wearing a very serious expression. I didn’t know what to expect, and quite frankly, I was tired of guessing.

“Listen, Jung Hwan,” he took a deep breath, and I braced myself for whatever he was about to say next. My stomach was twisting itself into ribbons, and I was on my toes for his words, even though I dreaded what was to come next. “Maybe we should stop.”

I blinked.

He waved his hand impatiently. “I mean, all this ignoring , it’s...it’s ruining our performance as a group. I’m sorry if I did anything wrongly before, but this is getting to a point where it’s affecting the rest of them...”

Baro seemed to struggle with his next few words. “Could we just pretend that nothing ever happened, for the good of B1A4?”

I stared at him for a full minute or so, trying to absorb what he was saying. Part of me just wanted to say yes, but the other part of me that was sick of the bull he’d been throwing at me during the past months, the part of me that was bruised, hurt and angry, fought to speak instead.

“Sun Woo, I don’t even understand you!” I gestured violently, and he winced, but I couldn’t be bothered to lower my volume, couldn’t be bothered to sugar coat whatever I was about to say next, because I’d had just about enough. “First you abandon me for all your stupid variety shows, put me down and degrade me when I go into my musical, ignore me for a whole fricking month, and now you expect me to pretend nothing happened?!”

He stiffened, but I was tired of trying to decipher whatever the hell was going through his mind, I just wanted to get my thoughts out in front of him.

“Why can’t you just make up your mind about what you want, and stop trying to run from it?!” I spat across the linoleum floor. “Stop doing one thing and saying another! Just what the hell do you want, Sun Woo?”

I fell silent here, breathing heavily, feeling a great weight being lifted off my shoulders, but at the same time, a new one being placed. Now, I’d done all I could. Now, it was up to him.

Seeing Sun Woo’s hardened expression, however, made me second-guess my decision. What if he chose to ignore me once more? What if he wanted to run away again?

“You know what, forget it,” I said, trying to pretend that I didn’t care, trying to pretend that I wasn’t fighting back tears again, because for crying out loud, men aren’t supposed to cry, but right then, as I was turning away, backing off because I had gone too far, Baro did what I expected the least, but perhaps, what I wanted the most.

He leaned forward and kissed me.

Like a movie that had suddenly been switched to slow motion, I was overwhelmed by an inexplicable warmth, an alien, yet so familiar sensation, because this was Sun Woo, and I too sorely missed feeling safe and loved around him. I just wanted, I needed him again, and now, now I was suddenly brought back to that tiny diner at the corner of the street, where nothing existed but Sun Woo and Jung Hwan, no time-consuming variety shows, no annoying managers and no rehearsals, and it was perfect, because that was the way it was supposed to be.

And just as suddenly as it had come, it disappeared, and Baro was looking away, his eyes hooded with regret, and I was stunned, the comfort of his lips still warm on mine.

“I...I’m sorry,” he said, his voice thick with emotion, obviously rethinking his impulsive action. “If you...if you don’t feel that way, then...then could we please just pretend all this never happened, so we can at least go back to the way things were before?”

Without waiting for an answer, he turned and started to leave, but my mind chose that moment to start functioning again.

Storming towards him, I grabbed him roughly by the shoulder, spun him around, and reattached my lips to his with much less grace than he had done for me.

Once again, that same warmth rushed into me, and I felt like crying and laughing at the same time, because I was so relieved, and all I wanted was to spend forever this way.

I had to pull back a while later to catch my breath, but not before I raised my hand and hit him as hard as I could across the shoulder.

“You- colossal- -...” I snarled. He was staring blankly at me, and I was inwardly satisfied to see him as confused as I had been for the past fricking months.

“I thought,” he spluttered, having difficulty stringing his words together. “I thought you...”

“Just stop talking right now,” I seized his collar and pulled him towards me for another kiss, and this time, after a few seconds of hesitation, I felt him start to kiss me back.

The next time we separated, I took it upon myself to call him every offensive name known to Man, because of how absolutely daft he had been, and it was his turn to cut me off by initiating our fourth kiss, which melted into our fifth, our sixth, and many more shared long after we had retreated to his bed.

The Line, needless to say, from that moment on, was completely disregarded. We knew it would be difficult to build back even a semblance of what we once had, but so long as we had each other, we didn’t care.

We were young, undoubtedly a little stupid at times, making loads of mistakes along the way of life, and we still had a lot to learn.

But hey. What could you expect? After all, we were just lovers, fellow pranksters, nineteen and a half and taking over the world, one sprout at a time.

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Author's Note:

Cheers :) Hope this twoshot was okay. I love Badeul ^^ They looked so cute at this fansigning, they're starting to regain that casualness about their fanservice :) For a while after their Beautiful Target promotions until Ignition, they kind of broke off their fanservice :(

Sorry if the ending doesn't feel right, by the way. I don't know what the happy ending for this scenario's supposed to feel like :/

Thank you to all the people that commented ^^ They make a writer happy :))) Please do comment for this chapter too :D

Sincerely
WhiteWings19