I followed him when he was there, and pined for him when he wasn't. As soon as he walked out of the door, I became a bundle of worry, terrified I would never feel his eyes upon me again, nor mine upon him. I was like a dog after it's master, just like the others had accused.

I agonised over what I'd witnessed in Junsu's bunk. The look of pleasure on his face. The eager way in which he'd been kissing back. I realised that it was the way I should repay him, but what if he didn't want me? What if Wooyoung was the one he wanted?

But then he kissed me, and I discovered that my endless questions were a result of paranoia and that he did want me. Oh, how badly I wanted him. The fear returned at my confession, but I consoled myself with the thought that if he wanted it, it was only natural for me to want it too.

When I pushed him down, it felt like a sin, like he was some sort of forbidden fruit that should never be tasted. It thrilled me.

I let him take control and succumbed to his touch, drowning in his light that was growing in intensity all around me; I forgot my initial purpose of repaying him for all he'd given and let my own selfish desires take control.