You were acting weird lately, like something was bothering you. Although I was not sure what it might be..

 

Sometimes I found you staring at nothing with blank expression painted all over your face. The other time I was sure seeing you purposely busied yourself with anything you could find just to avoid me who’s coming your way.

At first I used to shrug it off without much thought, knowing you better than to utter a word. You must have a day off, I convinced myself.

But it just made you getting further and further by days it almost felt like you had became a stranger to me.

Where’d my smiling best friend gone?

 

 

Once I confronted you when it got to the point that it was sickening.

“What is going on??

What happen with us?

What it is happening?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??

WHAT IS ING WRONG WITH YOU??!”

 

You didn’t say a word, not even bother to pick your gaze off the concrete floor beneath your feet. You weren’t affected by my shouts and curses.

If it wasn’t you, then..

 

“..Or was it me?”

 

I whispered out.

 

“Tell me what have I done..?

Tell me what did I do wrong..?

I’d had enough of this so please just tell me!!? Please..”

 

You choose to seal your lips still, made me more agitate due to your indifference.

But just right before I flared up one more time, your eyes—that always avoiding mine till then—met mine.

And I saw it.

The look of your eyes..

I might still not understand it yet then, but that chocolate orbs that used to calming me down whenever I looked at them—that dazzling orbs.. almost frightened me out at the moment.

 

I was wrong..

You were not indifference.

Those eyes told me everything yet I understand nothing..

 

Those eyes..

 

How could I even describe them? Those orbs that were darkened than I’d ever remembered.. They filled with pain.. doubt.. confusion.. agonize.. fear.. and one other feeling—the strongest one of them—that I couldn’t put my finger on it.. What was that?

I didn’t know why.. But it hurts me a lot for just looking into them.

At that moment I didn’t even aware of tears streaming down my face (I had no idea for why was I cried either). That, until I felt the way too familiar warmth landed on my wet cheeks. Your shaking hand whipped the tears off my face ever so gently.

I wanted to smile at that little gesture, but my lips just couldn’t form a curve. At least you still care..

“Why..?” I cringed at my own tone of voices—the tone between pleas, beg, sad, desperation, and anything you could name.

“Was I hurting you in anyway? Or am I still..?”

I couldn’t help but asked the question that was bugging me ever since I saw your painful gaze, but that only came out barely as a whisper.

 

“No, you have never done anything wrong.. There’s nothing wrong either.. It’s just..”

That was the very first sentence I could draw from you, and you trailed off at the end. Made me even confuse than I already was. You said there was nothing wrong, but why your voices seemed just as hurt as the look of your eyes..?

 

“But the look on your eyes told me otherwise,” I voiced out my thought without second thought.

 

 

We were fell into painful silence as you choose to become a mute yet again.. But this time, your eyes didn’t avoid mine.

 

“Then what you see in there?” Those were the words—or question—that came out from your mouth after the long heavy sigh you took.

 

 

Why would you even ask me that? I’m the one who’s asking you questions because I don’t ing understand a thing here!!?

I was in the verge of losing my sanity as our eyes drown themselves deeper and deeper into each other.

Those eyes..

Your painful eyes that I knew mirrored mine perfectly at the moment..

Those overflowing emotions I couldn’t na—

 

T-that’s..!?

 

 

Unfamiliar warmth filling my heart in an instant..

 

 

Tell me I’m insane.. Tell me I’m full of myself.. Tell me I’m a freaking narcissist, I wouldn’t give it a ing damn!!

 

Because those eyes I’ve been questioned were actually showing me the answer from the start..

That’s once anonymous feeling those eyes practically screaming..

 

 

How could a human being so insensitive?! Foolish? Or even blind?? How could I never notice..?

 

 

You were no more trying to hide your feelings from me.. And at the moment.. I was drowning in the overflowing feelings gushed out from your eyes, piercing right through my heart.

 

The feelings..

Leaving me speechless..

 

 

 

“I-I.. That.. Yo—”

I was struggled to at least voice a word when you cut me off with your sudden blurt out.

 

“Just.. forget it,” You spoke calmly, diverting your eyes from mine.

Huh? Forget what? I—No! If you’re saying what I think you’re saying, I don’t want to forget whatever it is!

Why couldn’t I voice it out loud??

 

Then you looked up at me again..

..I knew you were trying hard to sport that smile for not quiver.

“There’s just too much useless things that kept my mind lately, but it’s okay now.. or at least, it’ll be okay soon. Sorry for make you worried.”

 

No, wait.. Why..?

 

Just.. Why..?

Were you really just going to leave it like that? I barely hold a grip of this whole ing things!

Everything was happening so fast my head felt like exploding.. Your indiferrent.. Your hurtful gaze.. Your true feelings behind those eyes.. I’ve just barely understand them.. And now this.. Would you really dismiss it just like this?? Could you?!

Can’t you give me time to at least take a breath?!

 

“Thanks for your concern anyway. I’ll try not to make you worry ever again. Just.. ..give me time..” Still sporting that masked smile, you mumbled something like, “I really am lucky to have a best friend like you, aren’t I?” You then let out a nervous chuckling sound.

 

Best friend..

 

Best friend..?

 

Yes..

 

That's what we are.. Right?

That’s all we’d ever be.. Aren’t we?

 

But..

 

Why..?

 

Why your eyes showed much more..?

Why my heart felt like breaking apart when you uttered those two words..?

And why now??!

Why I’m feeling what I feel right now?? WHY NOW??!

 

Why am I feeling this way NOW?!

Seriously..

This is just.. Too sudden.. Too out of the blue..

 

Just minutes ago I questioned you, questioned your hurtful eyes.. It’s jut too much to have to question even myself!?

 

 

 

That was drove me crazy, really! It was almost like.. My mind and heart had changed the second that realization hit me, the second I peered into your heart through those hurtful eyes of yours..

 

Hey.. Was it the denial which caused you so much pain? Was it the 'This is not right, he is my best friend' that hold you back all this time? Was it—

 

Then you started to walk away.

There, when it finally hit me that I just stunned still like a freaking idiot these whole time, and that all those argument and questions were only going on in my mind.

Have I gone crazy??

 

I then started to panic when you reached the doorknob.

No! you’re not ing getting away againfrom me!

 

I didn’t even have time to think when my body reacted on its own.

 

 

And here we’re now..

You’re trapped between me and the wooden door, there’s no escaping for you.. Our body collided perfectly together.. Our lips molding with one another.. Our souls connected through eyes..

You widened yoor eyes..

 

 

And once I tasted these luscious lips.. there’s no escaping for me either, I just know it..

 

I had really gone crazy..

 

Seriously, what’s with us..?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hyuk.. Just.. don't even try.. to get away from me again.. ever again.."

I finally spoke in between my heavy pants.. Staring straight through your eyes.. Sending a thousand and one messages of love..

 

..Love..

 

L..O.V.E

 

It was it, wasn’t it?

 

 

Yeah, Hyuk.. I’d realized..

So you can't get away from me ever again.. you just can't..

 

 

 

Now, it's not about what's with us anymore..

My mind's reeling with yet another question..

What will happen with us after this..?

Yet, I find myself not a bit bothered with the question this time though..

Because whatever happen, I'll make sure.. You can't get away from me ever again.. You can take my words..

 

You, never give a respond to those words.. Just timidly buried your face even deeper on my neck.. Let me tighten my arms around you..

But doesn't matter, really.. Your eyes.. Your flustered face.. Your burning cheeks.. Your heartbeat.. Told me everything I need to know..

 

 

All these were sure happening too fast that my mind still spinning and I even find it hard to believe it just yet..

But it doesn't matter, does it?

As long as I have you by my side.. I could careless for everything else..

As long as you're not getting away from me again..

 

Because I know.. If I’ve ever take yet another minute to think.. Another second to try making any sense for all the things happening between us.. It wil be too let to make a choice.. If there’s even any that was left..

 

So, here I am now..

I choose to follow my heart..

I choose you..

 

 

So here we are now..

Drowning ourselves in each other scent..

Paying no cares in anything else but the other warmth embrace..

 

Neither we care to the passing minutes.. Or even hours..?

 

Just wanted to savor the blissful moment as long as we’re allowed..

 

 

 

 

 

But Hyuk, I have a question I really want to ask you though..

Just.. When did you started to....?

 

 

 

 

________________________________________________________________________

A/N: It’s really random.. And this story was supposed to be an angst for goodness’ sake! >_<”