I ignored all the calls from her after I had walked out in our conversation. Call me a jerk for that but I don’t care. I couldn’t take it anymore. I just couldn’t take it! Every time I see her my heart skips a beat; I always stutter in front of her. I felt butterflies in my stomach when she’s near. And even at night, my head keeps spinning as thousands of pictures of her flash through my mind. She’s all I ever think of, she’s all I ever keep dreaming about.

I already told her by accident that I like her, but she doesn’t seem to take it seriously because she’s only looking at her boyfriend. The guy she calls punk was that entire she’s talking about. My chest hurts every time she does that. For all I know I was very jealous. I AM very jealous of him. Why does it have to be him that she thinks of and speaks about? Why does it have to be him whom all those letters were addressed to? Why does it have to be him who owns her heart? Why?

It could have been me! She could have loved me instead of that guy. I could be the guy who would read her letters. I could be the guy she could always think of and speak of. I want to be the person who owns her heart. I want to be her everything. I want to be hers and she would be mine.

What hurt me most was the fact that she was looking at me with those longing eyes. Her gaze was meant for someone else but she looks at me as if I am the epitome of that person. I couldn’t bear it. Why can’t she just look at me and forget about that other person? Am I not good enough for her? I want to prove her that I am much better than her beloved Punk. I want to show her that I am worthy of her affection. And I want to show her that he’s not worth it.

My head began to ache for no reason. I continued to walk away when I heard her running towards me and calling my name. Thank goodness classes are over and we could go home now. I could have my peace in my room when I get home. The pounding in my head just won’t stop and it kept getting worse. I need a pain reliever. I need to go home now and fast.

“Kim Jong In!!!”

Ignore her Jong In, just ignore her. If you go back and face her she’ll just keep on talking about the guy who had forgotten about her. You remind her of him. You wouldn’t want to be a replacement in the meantime for the guy she’s willing to wait all her life. You would end up being dumped sooner or later.

“Jong In!!!”

Along with my name came the loud sound of the honk of the car fast approaching. Its blinding light flashed in front of my eyes. Tires screeched.