Valentine’s Day the big one.

            Lee Eunhyuk lifted a mug of hot buttered rum to his mouth and drained the last drop. On the ‘things that ’ scale, it ranked somewhere between falling on his face in public and his great-aunt Hyemi’s lasagna pie. One was painful and embarrassing, while the other was an abomination in the eyes of the Lord.

           

Eunhyuk lowered the mug and the corners of his mouth. The hot rum heated him up from the inside out, warmed his skin, and cast the room of his in a nice, cozy glow. Yet it did nothing to lift his mood.

           

He was feeling sorry for himself, and he hated that. He wasn’t the sort of man to sit around and get all melancholic and weepy. He was the sort to get on with life, but there was nothing like one whole day devoted to lovers to make a single guy feel like a loser.

           

A whole day of hearts and flowers, chocolate candy and naughty undies delivered to someone else. Someone undeserving. Someone who wasn’t him. Twenty-four hours to remind him that he slept alone, usually in a sloppy T-shirt and boxers. A whole day to point out that he was just one bad relationship away from throwing in the towel. From giving up his All star converse shoes to sandals. From driving to the animal shelter and adopting a dog.

           

Eunhyuk looked around the Strand Lounge, where he sat on a barstool inside the Sun Valley  lodge. Shiny heart garlands decorated the brass rails, while roses and flickering candles sat on each tabletop. Red and pink hearts were taped up behind the bar and on the big windows looking out at snow-covered pines, groomed runs, and night skiers. Spotlights poured down the slopes, washing them in white gold and darker shadow.

 

Those inside the Strand were decked out in the latest skiwear chic. Ralph Lauren and  Armani sweaters, UGG boots and Patagonia fleece vests. Eunhyuk felt a bit like poor relation in his jeans and dark brown leather jacket. His jacket fit well and matched his eyes, but it wasn’t a brand name. He’d bought it at a flea market, along with a bag of swimming trunks, a gallon of shampoo, and about five pounds of margarine.

 

He turned sideways on his stool, and his gaze moved to the big windows across the bar. When had he started buying his underwear in bulk at a warehouse instead of at brand shops? When had his life become that pathetic? And why had five pounds of margarine ever seemed like a good idea?

 

Outside the Strand’s windows, downy snowflakes drifted past the outside lights and softly touched the ground. It had started snowing earlier that afternoon, shortly after Eunhyuk had hit the border of Seoul and it hadn’t let up. As a result of all that snow, the drive to Sun Valley from Busan had taken him almost nine hours instead of the usual seven.

 

Normally, he would have driven straight through without stopping, but not when it was snowing so hard. Not when it was so dark that one wrong turn on the icy road could land a guy in one of those tiny towns where men were men and sheep were nervous. The next morning he planned to drive the last hour to Incheon, where his grandfather lived.

 

Eunhyuk ordered his third hot buttered rum and turned his attention to the bartender. He looked to be in his late twenties with curly dark hair, and he had a wicked little glint in his brown eyes. He wore a white dress shirt and black pants. He was young and cute and wore a wedding ring, too.

 

‘Can I get anything else for you, Eunhyuk?’ he asked through a smile that oozed boyish charm. He’d remembered his name, a quality that made him a good bartender, but the foremost thought in Eunhyuk’s head was that the man probably had a few girlfriends on the side. Men like him usually did.

 

‘No thank you,’ he answered and purposely shoved his cynical thoughts to the back of his mind. He didn’t like that he’d become so negative. He hated the pessimist who’d taken up residence in his head. He wanted the other Eunhyuk back. The Eunhyuk who wasn’t so cynical.
           

At the tables and booths, couples laughed and talked and shared kisses over bottles of wine. Eunhyuk’s Valentine’s Day blues sank a little lower.

           

This time last year, Eunhyuk had been having dinner in Las Vegas at Le Cirque with his boyfriend, Choi Siwon. He’d been twenty-three, Siwon thirty-two.  Over shrimp cocktail he’d told him he’d booked them a suite in the Bellagio. Over roasted veal Eunhyuk had described lace and fish net tights he was wearing underneath his tuxedo. Over dessert he’d brought up the subject of marriage. They’d been together for two years, and he’d thought it was time to talk about their future. Instead of talking, Siwon had dumped him the next morning. After he’d put the hotel suite and those to good use.

 

At the time, Eunhyuk had been a little surprised at how fine he’d been with the breakup. Well, maybe not fine. He’d been plenty ticked off, but his world hadn’t fallen apart. He’d loved Siwon, but he was also practical. He didn’t know why he hadn’t seen it before, but Siwon was commitment phobic. Thirty-two and never married? The man obviously had some serious issues, and he didn’t wanted to waste his time with a man who couldn’t commit. He’d been there before, with other boyfriends who’d wanted to date for years but never quite commit to more. Good riddance to bad relationships.

 

At least that’s what he’d told himself, until a few months ago when he’d seen Siwon’s wedding announcement in the newspaper. He’d been in his office, thumbing through the Times newspaper, looking for vital records section, seeing if any missing persons had turned up dead, and there it’d been. A nice little announcement with a photo. Siwon and some fake little blonde looking in love and happy.

 

Siwon had found someone and married him in less than eight months after breaking things off with Eunhyuk. Someone he’d dated for less than eight months, too. He hadn’t been opposed to a commitment. Not at all. He’d just been opposed to a commitment with Eunhyuk. Which hurt more than he’d ever thought possible. More than the breakup. More than him walking out on her after a night of hot . It made his chest tight and throat squeeze and confirmed something he could no longer ignore.

 

There was something wrong with him.

 

Something more than his height of five-eleven. More than his size ten feet and straight red hair. He was a private investigator. He made a living digging into people’s personal lives, seeking motives and agendas. Peering into their backgrounds and private and social patterns, but he’d never stopped to dig his own life.

 

Seeing Siwon’s wedding announcement in the paper had changed that. It had forced him to examine his own life, something he’d always avoided if at all possible. What he’d discovered was that he was drawn to unattainable men. Men with roving eyes or hidden boyfriends or commitment fears.

 

Maybe  he didn’t think he deserved better, or maybe he liked the challenge. He didn’t know for certain why he always picked unavailable men, but one thing was for sure, he was tired of bad relationships and a broken heart.

 

The day after seeing Siwon’s announcement, he’d sworn off bad relationships. He’d vowed to date only available, nice guys without any issues. He’d thrown himself into his work. A job that he’d always loved and was damn good at doing.

 

He’d worked for Intel Inc., one of the most prestigious investigating firms in Seoul. He’d enjoyed everything about being a PI. Everything from spying on lowlifes out to defraud insurance companies or the casinos, to reuniting long-lost loves or separated family members. If he’d had to follow cheating boyfriends or girlfriends or spouses, that had been okay too. Hey, if a man or a woman was cheating then they deserved to get caught. If they weren’t (which were never the case), then no harm done. Either way, it had not been his problem. Eunhyuk had gotten paid for his time and walked away…

 

Until the day Kim Jongwoon had come to his fourth-floor office. There hadn’t been anything remarkable about Jongwoon. He’d been neither handsome nor ugly. Short nor tall. He’d simply been.

 

He’d come to Intel Inc. and to Eunhyuk because his wife had disappeared with their two children. He’d shown Eunhyuk the typical family photo. The kind taken at the mall for around 6000 won. Everything about that photo had been ordinary. Everything from the matching sweaters, to the boy’s crew cut and the little girl’s missing front tooth.

 

And everything about Jongwoon had checked out. He’d worked where he’d said he did. He’d had no criminal record. No history of abuse. He’d sold cars at Valley Automall and had been his son’s Cub Scout leader. He’d been his daughter’s soccer coach, and he and his wife, Yoona, had taken classes together at the community college.

 

His wife and the children hadn’t been hard to find. Not at all. They’d fled to Taiwan to stay with Yoona’s sister. Eunhyuk had given Jongwoon the information, signed off on the case, and never would have given if a second thought if Jongwoon hadn’t made the national news twenty-four hours later. The things he’d done to his wife and children before he’d killed himself had stunned the country. It had shocked Eunhyuk to his core.

 

This time, he hadn’t been able to remain detached. This time he hadn’t been able to tell himself that it wasn’t his problem, that he’d just been doing his job. This time he hadn’t been able to move on.

 

A week later, he’d resigned from his job. Then he’d called his grandfather and told him he was coming to visit him for a while. His grandmother had died two years earlier, and Eunhyuk knew that his grandpa, Lee Teuk, was lonely. He could use his company, and he could use a breather. He didn’t know how long he would stay, but long enough to figure out what to do now. To take a step back and figure out what he wanted to do next.

 

He faced the bar and took a drink. The rum slid down easy and added a little kick to his growing buzz. With single-minded determination, he pushed thought if the Kim family from his head and concentrated in the hearts strung along the bar. It was Valentine’s Day, and that reminded him that he hadn’t been on a good date in months. No since the Bellagio and Siwon. And while he really didn’t miss Siwon, he did miss initimacy. He missed the touch of a man’s strong hands. Sometimes he wished he were the sort of guy who could pick up a man in a bar. No regrets. No recriminations. No wanting a criminal background check first.

 

Sometimes he wished he was more like his friend, Heechul. Heechul’s motto was, ‘If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it,’ as if his had an expiration date.

 

He looked at his reflection in the mirror behind the bar and wondered if losing the desire for was like losing a sock at the Laundromat. Did it just disappear without a trace? By the time you noticed it was gone, was it too late? Was it gone for good?

 

He didn’t want to lose his desire for . He was too young. For just one night, he wished he could turn off the interrogator in his head and find the iest guy around, grab him by the front of his shirt, and lock lips. For just one night, he wished he were the type of guy who could gorge in wild with a man he’d never met and would never see again. His touch would burn him alive, and he’d forget everything but his on his. He’d take him to his hotel room, or perhaps they wouldn’t even make it to the room and they’d have to do it in the elevator, or a service closet, or maybe he’d do him in the stairwell.

 

Eunhyuk took a drink and turned his attention to the good-looking bar tender. He stood at the end of the bar laughing and joking and shaking up martinis. He might have become cynical about people and especially men, but he was still gay. A man with dozens if secret fantasies spinning about in her head. Fantasies of being swept up into big strong arms. Of eyes meeting across a crowded room. Of instant attraction. Remorseless lust.

 

Since his breakup with Siwon, all his fantasy men were the complete opposite of his old boyfriend. They were all bad boys with big hands and bigger…feet. The star of his current fantasy was a blond badass with size thirteen biker boots. He’d picked him from a fashion ad in Cosmopolitan, looking all cool and unkempt with his bad self.

 

Sometimes his fantasy involved him tying him to the back of his Harley and absconding with Eunhyuk to his love shack. Other times he’d see him in different dive bars with names like The Brass Knuckles or Devil’s Spawn. Their eyes would meet and they’d only make it as far as the alleyway before they tire at each other’s clothes.

 

Someone took the stool beside Eunhyuk and bumped his shoulder. His drink sloshed, and he cupped his hand around his warm mug.

 

‘Sun Valley Ale,’ a masculine voice next to her ordered.

 

‘Draft or bottle?’ the bartender asked.

 

‘Bottle’s fine.’

 

As much as Eunhyuk would love to live out one of his fantasies, he knew it would never happen because he could not turn of the PI in his head. The one that, at a crucial moment, would decided he needed a background check first.

 

The scent of crisp night air suddenly surrounded his head, and he slid his gaze from his mug to the green plaid flannel rolled up thick forearms. A gold Rolex was strapped around his left wrist, and a thin silver band circled his middle finger.

 

‘Do you want this on your room tab?’ the bartender wanted to know.’

 

‘Nah, I’ll pay for it now.’ His voice was low and a little rough as he reached for his wallet in the back pocket of his Levi’s. His elbow brushed his as he ran his gaze up the green flannel of his arm to his big shoulders. The ceiling lights above shone down on him and picked out variegated gold in his brown hair. Unruly and finger-combed, his hair covered his collar and the tops of his ears. He’d grown a soul patch just below his full bottom lip.

 

His gaze continued upward to a pair of deep green eyes staring back at him across his broad shoulder, past all the greens on his shirt. His lids looked a little heavy, like he was tired or he’d just gotten out of bed.

 

He swallowed. Hard.

 

‘Hello,’ he said, and his voice just seemed to pour through him like his hot buttered rum.

 

Holy Mary mother of God! Had thinking about his badass fantasy man conjured him? He wasn’t blond, but who cared? ‘Hello’ he managed, as if the hair on the back of his neck hadn’t started to tingle.

 

‘It’s a beautiful night to hit the slopes. Don’t you think?’ he asked.

 

‘Spectacular,’ he answered, although his mind wasn’t on skiing. This guy was big. The kind of big that came from genetics and physical labor. He’d guess he was in his mid to late thirties.

 

‘Lots of new powder.’

 

‘That’s true.’ Eunhyuk pressed his fingertips into the warm porcelain mug and fought the urge to play with fingers like he was in eighth grade. ‘Gotta love all that fresh powder.’

 

He his stool to face Eunhyuk, and his heart just about stopped. He was even better than his fantasy man, and his fantasy man rocked.

 

‘So why aren’t you out there?’ he asked.

 

‘I don’t ski,’ Eunhyuk confessed.

 

Surprise lifted one brow and the corners of his mouth. ‘You don’t?’

 

You’d never mistake this man for a male model. Never see his face pushing Dolce & Gabbana or him lying on the beach in a Gucci suit. He was too big. Too masculine. Too male. The full impact of him all too real. ‘No, Just passing through. It’s been snowing so hard, I had to stop for the night.’ He had a tiny white scar just below his soul patch, and his nose looked like it had been broken. It was hardly noticeable really, but Eunhyuk was trained to notice everything about a person’s face. And studying this man’s face was pure pleasure.

 

‘Hope it clears up’ He snagged the beer bottle in his right hand. ‘I’m heading out for Bogus Basin in the morning.’

 

‘Are you a ski bum?’

 

“During the winter months, pretty much. After Bogus, we’ll hit Targhee and Jackson Hole before heading to Colorado.’

 

We’ll?‘Are you here with friends?’

 

‘Yeah, my buddies are still out on the slopes.’ He hooked the heels of his boots on the bottom rung of his stool, and his wide–spread knees brushed the outside of Eunhyuk’s thigh.

 

The casual touch did something to his insides. It wasn’t exactly instant, remorseless lust, but it was something. ‘Why aren’t you out there with them?’ Buddies. As in male friends. Men didn’t generally refer to female friends as buddies.

 

He raised the beer to his lips. ‘Knees acting up,’ he answered and took a long drink.

 

But there was little doubt in his mind that this guy had a man or woman in his life. Probably more than one. ‘Skiing with buddies on Valentine’s Day?’

 

He watched him through those green eyes of his as he lowered the bottle. ‘Is it Valentine’s Day?’ he asked and a drop of beer from his top lip.

 

Eunhyuk smiled. The fact that he didn’t know meant he probably didn’t have anyone serious in his life right now. ‘Every year on the fourteenth of February.’

 

He looked about the room as if really seeing it for the first time. ‘Ahh. That explains the hearts.’

 

Eunhyuk’s gaze lowered to the framing of his mouth and chin, down the wide column of his thick neck to the hollow of pale throat. ‘I think we’re the only two in here who aren’t a couple.’

 

‘Don’t tell me you’re here alone?’

 

Eunhyuk returned his gaze to his and laughed. He liked the way the stranger had said that, as if he found it hard to believe. ‘Yeah, go figure.’ In his favorite fantasy, he was trapped with a hunk of man in Hongdae’s shoe department. ‘How about you? Anyone going to be angry with you for forgetting Valentine’s Day?’

 

‘Nope.’

 

He’d never set a fantasy in a ski lodge, but he was thinking about it now. He couldn’t help it. The man was throwing off pheromones like he was a nuclear reactor at Chernobyl. Sitting so close to ground zero, the fallout was lethal.

 

The man pushed up his sleeves of his flannel shirt and exposed what appeared to be the tail of a snake or some sort of reptile on his thick left forearm. ‘Is that a snake?’

 

‘Yeah. That’s Chloe. She’s a sweetheart.’

 

Right. The tattoo was dark gold with black-and-white bands and appeared so real he leaned in for a closer look. The scales were perfectly defined, and without giving it a thought, Eunhyuk reached out and touched his bare arm. ‘What kind of snake is she?’ He half expected to feel cool scales instead of warm, smooth flesh.

 

‘An Angolan python.’

 

Python. Yikes! ‘How big?’ Eunhyuk looked back up into his face. Something hot and sensual shimmered within the green depths of his eyes. A need that made his pulse jump and tingles spread up his wrists.

 

He raised the beer to his mouth and looked away. ‘Five feet.’ He took a long drink, and when he returned his gaze to him, that flicker of that something was gone, as if it had never been there.

 

Eunhyuk dropped his hand. ‘Are all five feet of her tattooed on your body?’

 

‘Yeah.’ He pointed his forearm with the mouth of the bottle. ‘Her tail ends here. She’s wrapped around my arm, down my back, and is coiled around my right thigh.’

 

Eunhyuk looked down at his thigh and straight at his groin. Soft worn Levi’s covered his legs and cupped the bulge in his crotch. He quickly looked away before he caught him staring. ‘I have a tattoo.’

 

He laughed. A low rumble in his chest that did funny things to his chest. ‘What? An arrow on your ankle?’

 

He shook his head and took a long drink from his mug. His temperature shot up and his face felt flushed.

 

He didn’t know if it was the rum or the testorone cocktail sitting next to him, but he was starting to feel a little light-headed. Not the kind of light-headed that made you faint, but the kind that brought a grin to your face even when you didn’t feel like smiling.

 

‘Hmm?’ The man lowered his gaze down the side of Eunhyuk’s throat. ‘A rose on your shoulder?’

 

The kind of light-headed that made a guy think if hot sweaty things. Hot sweaty things he probably shouldn’t act upon. ‘Nope.’

 

He looked back into his eyes and speculated, ‘A sun around your navel.’

 

‘A moon and a few stars, but not around my navel.’ Hot sweaty things that no one else would ever know about.

 

‘I knew it would be something like that,’ he scoffed as he shook his head. ‘Where?’

 

It couldn’t just be Eunhyuk. He had to feel it too, but what if he did proposition him and he turned him down? He didn’t think he could handle that kind of humiliation. ‘My .’

 

Smile lines crinkled the corners of his eyes, and he laughed again. ‘Full or half?’

 

Wait, he’s a guy who acts like he’s , she thought as she polished off her drink. Guys were guys were guys. He himself was one too. He wouldn’t turn him down. ‘Crescent.’

 

‘A moon on a moon.’ He cocked one brow and leaned to one side and looked at his as if he could see through his clothing. ‘Interesting. I’ve never seen that before.’ He took a drink from his beer and straightened.

 

Maybe it was the rum and his hot sweaty thoughts. Maybe it was because it was Valentine’s Day and he was lonely and didn’t want to wear sandals yet. Maybe for just once he wanted to act on an impulse. Maybe it was all of those things, but before he could stop himself, he asked, ‘Wanna see?’ The second the words left his lips, his heart seemed to stop along with his breath. Oh God!

 

The man lowered the bottle. ‘Are you propositioning me?’

 

Was he? Yes. No. Maybe. Could he really go through with it? Don’t overanalyze it. Don’t think it to death, he told himself. You’ll never see this guy again. For once in your life, just go for it.   He didn’t even know his name. He guessed it didn’t matter. ‘Are you interested?’

 

Slowly, as if to make sure he understood him perfectly, the man asked, ‘Are you talking ?’

He looked into those eyes staring back at him and tried to breathe past the sudden constriction in his chest. Could he use and abuse him? Could he twist him into a ual pretzel then toss him out the door when he was through? Was he that kind of person? ‘Yes.’

 

There it was again. That hot, sensual need that flickered and burned. Then in the blink of an eye, his features hardened and his gaze turned cold. ‘Afraid not,’ he said as if he’d offered him up a fate worse than death. He set his beer on the bar and rose until he towered over him.

 

Eunhyuk managed a stunned, ‘Oh,’ just before his cheeks caught fire and his ears started to buzz. He raised a hand to his numb face and hoped he didn’t pass out.

 

‘Don’t take it personal, but I don’t random men I meet in bars.’ The he walked away, moving from the lounge as fast as his big boots could carry him.

 

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Ugh.......First chapter done!!!!!!! Hope you guys like it.......... ^^ I personally think its a failure. T_T

@haehyuk4vr: Gawd......I'm so sorry I didn't exactly edit it. :D Eunhyuk is definitely a guy. I just overchecked it and I edited them. So it should be okay. Thank you for subscribing!!! ^^