They say it takes twice the length the relationship you lost to move on from what you had. I say it is bull.

...because at times it felt okay yet at the end of the day, as you lay yourself to sleep, that same feeling of emptiness comes creeping in. And then you wonder how the hell you ended up like a freak show.

And if I have a choice, I wonder, if I’d rather turn back the time and prevent myself from meeting him in the first place.

 

“Jonghyun-sshi, I hope you won’t take this next question personally because it’s personal...” The audience laughed a bit at the Host’s humor.

“But you see, your fans here are waiting for your answer.”

Jonghyun let out a low chuckle and the bottom of his lips. “Go on” he said

“Do you have any girlfriend right now?” The host asked, straight forward

“Now I wish I have one” Jonghyun said as if embarrassed and the crowd grew wild.

“Oh please, don’t give me that, you’re handsome, talented and successful, there’s a million of girls who are willing to throw themselves to you. You can get any girl you want, so is there any reason you’re staying single?”

Jonghyun smiled and looked at Onew while shaking his head.

“No I guess, I just hadn’t find the one” He answered still

“The one, omo, who knew the one and only Jonghyun of SHINee actually believes in that.” The gay host gushed

“But tell me Jonghyun-sshi, have you ever fallen in love before?” Jonghyun’s face hardened.

the crowd grew silent, anticipating for his answer.

The camera focused on his face, that same face that used to be so arrogant but now turned into a celebrity icon.

I stared at the flat screen tv, wishing I hadn’t open it in the first place because now I could already see it coming...

“I thought I was, but then again it was all lies” He said

...his hate

...his words, it all came coming back. And it hurts like hell,

Yet still I wanted to see him so badly.

But this kind of selfishness, I can only keep lock up inside.

 

 

 

THREE YEARS AGO

 

“Oh no, oh no. I’m gonna be late” Luna muttered running down the stairs while putting on her brand new school blazer.

“Sun Young!have breakfast first before you go!” Her mother called out sensing that she would just run off in any second now.

“Oof.” Luna turned 180 degrees and dashed to the dining area, drank a glass of milk in three huge gulps before tucking a toast on her lips.

“Aigoo, aigoo, look at this child. At least fix your hair!” Her mom exclaimed at Luna’s disastrous state.

“You look like a freaking hobo.” Ji Bin, Her nine year old brother in his banana print pyjama commented just as he was about to scoop another mouthful of apple and jacks cereals.

“Anmf fuu mmmf mife a momfey! (and you look like a monkey)” She mumbled while munching the peanut butter toast on . She tied her hair up in a messy ponytail, swallowed the remaining bread and kissed her mom on the cheek.

“I’m going!” She said

“I can’t believe I have a sister like that.” Ji Bin murmured

Luna turned to her brother “YAH! You!” Ji Bin flinched on his chair, almost dropping his spoon. He might have the guts to constantly insult his sister but making her furious is another story. She can be scary at times.

“I bet you don’t even know what a hobo is.” Luna said tilting her head to the side and sticking her tongue out before running out of their house.

“AISSSH! Seriously! Ummaaaaa!” Just outside the door Luna can hear her brother’s scream.

 

“BUS!!” Luna could only yell at the stupid moron idiotic bus that just had left about five seconds before she reach the bus stop.

She looked over her watch; it was only ten minutes more before the class officially start and from the looks of it, it’ll took another lifetime before the next bus arrives.

 

“Oh God, are you trying to kill me?” Luna cried out. “Okay fine! I’ll just run!”

....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 

ON THE  OTHER SIDE:

Jonghyun opened his fridge only to see a bottle of mineral water, a couple of beer cans, a box of expired milk and half a lemon. “Great.” He muttered taking out the mineral water. He twisted the cap open, took a sip before letting out a soft sigh

“What?” He finally turned towards the girl sitting over his counter top.

“Tell me, what is this?”

His eyes unconsciously rolled.  He ignored her once again, opened the cabinet, and grabbed a box of corn flakes only to find it empty inside.

“You’re doing this now?” Jonghyun threw the box over the sink full of empty pizza boxes, cartons from take outs and plastics. You can’t even recognize it was a sink anymore.

“What are we?” She asked, her voice shaking.

“You need a definition?” He cocked his head and let out a smirk.

He looked amused but she wasn’t going for anything close to amused.

Tears started to form on her eyes. Suddenly, the air seems colder, and the bathrobe she was wearing isn’t enough to make her feel the warmth she needed.

“I need something to hold on to.” She said softly.

“It’s only been three days and you’re actually doing this now?”

“It wasn’t even a day yet and you were already ing me!” She exclaimed in surprise to what she just heard.

Jonghyun raised an eyebrow and looked at his watch. 15 minutes more before class.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered “I love you”

Now that got him, his mouth quirked up and he took two long strides towards her. He cupped her face with his hands and moved her closer to him.

“You love me?” He asked his voice huskier than usual.

“I love you.” She breathe

“Since when?”

“The moment I saw you.” She spoke almost a whisper, getting high with his breath so close to her.

“You believe in love at first sight?”He cooed.

She just gave him a smile and began closing the small gap between them...but then he swiftly slid away so that his mouth covers her right ear.

“Naive.” He whispered pushing himself off her.

 “Lock the door on your way out” He said as he walks away. He looked at his watch, 10 minutes more before class.

............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

MEANWHILE AT SCHOOL

Victoria slumped down the castor-wheel chair and threw her blackberry phone on her table. She looked at the stack of folders and crowded papers hanging around in front of her. Yesterday, she swore she went home extra late just so she could finish all the paper works for the day and now there’s a new mountaintop facing her early in the morning.

She sighed and picked up her tumbler, gulping the warm coffee that should help eliminate any feeling of weariness—which is the only thing she could feel right now.

“Last try” She muttered as she grabs her phone and dialled the one and only bastard slash batch mate slash ex-neighbour now housemate slash frenemy she always have hated or loved whichever of the two fits the situation.

“Hi” He answered at the eighth or ninth ring

“YAH LEE JINKI! Did you----“

“Uhh so I’m too tired to pick up calls, you know what to do, and please no unimportant messages or you’re dead!”

Beeep----

Great an answering machine! Again

“Hi it’s me, for the nth time already. Call me back. Whatever....” She took a deep sigh

“You know what? Don’t call, since you’re too busy with your little games with your oh so cool friends and your little freaking es, you just have to go messing around and get me in trouble and not even bother warning me that by the time I got home I just have to endure all the miseries of the world with MY FATHER’s stupid speech, who is, in ing’s worth, believes that a BASTARD like you is oh so mature to do this and that kind of thing than me, his own flesh and blood daughter. So yeah don’t call and don’t you ever dare show your freaking hell of a face in front of mine, ok?” She exhaled angrily and hung up.

She leaned on the chair and kicked the table in front of her before she heard clapping. Yes clapping. She looked at the door and saw Nickhun wearing his nerdy glasses that doesn’t really make him looked nerdy at all, rather, it make him looked... cute?

“Oh shut up.” Victoria said in a tired voice.

“I wasn’t even talking yet.” He smiled and walked towards her.

“Well, now you are. Don’t speak, don’t talk I don’t want to hear your voice right now.”

“Ohhh grumpy. Onew?”

“You heard?”

“Just the ‘freaking hell of a face’ part, haha, that was cute.” He took the folder on top and began scanning the papers inside.

“The guy’s a bastard.”

Nickhun raised an eyebrow and let out a chuckle.

“And still you like him”

Silence took over. And the words were left hanging in the air.

Nickhun stopped flipping over the papers and looked straight at her. Victoria remained silent

“I told you----“

“Not now, please.” She cut him off. She stood up and walked past him.

“Running away?”

Victoria sighed “I’m checking the principal’s office. I’m assigned to the transfer student so...” She looked at him knowingly and walked out the door.

Nickhun slammed the folder down her table. ‘If not now then when, it’s already been a year already.’ He thought as his hands curled up in fist.

Nice guys do have their limits as well

...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

BACK TO THE STREETS

 

“I’m tired” Luna stopped and breathed for a while. She looked at her phone “WHAT?! Three minutes? Are you kidding me?!”

“Ahh~ Chincha I don’t care anymore!” She ranted but ran down the pedestrian lane until....

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

A car screeched in front of her. Everything went slow motion. Luna on the ground, eyes shut waiting for the pain to arrive and the midnight blue E70 mercedes convertible that stopped an inch away from her.

“YAH! ARE YOU CRAZY?!” A guy stepped out of the car

“Please oh please, dear God, please please, don’t let me die” Luna chanted still with her eyes closed.

“YAH!” Jonghyun lightly kicked her feet. “Seriously, is she a psycho or something? YAHH!” He gave her another kick.

Luna opened her eyes. “Am I?” She touched her face and her body. “Oh God, Why?.” She stood up and was surprised at the guy standing in front of her.

Gorgeous messy ash black hair, pristine white smooth looking skin, piercing attractive eyes, oh so kissable lips... AN ANGEL? She thought

“Oh ” She whispered

“What did you say?” He asked, did she just cussed... AT HIM?

“I, I.. please don’t I mean I still have so so much more things I need, no, I want to do. My mom will definitely freak out and I still haven’t punched the hell out of Ji Bin and I still haven’t eaten the milk pudding I bought yesterday. Damn I should have ate it! And besides I’m young! What, you want to shatter a young girl’s dream. Please twenty years, even ten years more...” She freaked out

“What?”

“I’m saying since you’re an angel, let me live some more.” She finished. And looked at him pleadingly

And then there was silence....

“Are you high?”

She blinked. “Excuse me?”

“I’m asking what kind of drugs you just inhaled.”

She blinked once again taking in the words her supposedly angel was saying.

“...” She exclaimed “I’m not dead yet?”

He rolled his eyes

“I’m outta here, you’re crazy” He said to himself and walk towards his car

So he’s just an overly handsome guy, not an angel? well that makes sense he’s wearing Seoul High uniform not the kind of white Greek styled one piece cloth that angels are assumed to wear.

 She agrees. She must’ve gone crazy. He’s no angel, just a devil.

She watched him opened the door.

Seoul High Uniform.... SEOUL HIGH  UNIFORM!!!

“Hey, wait!” Luna called out, trying hard to hide her smile

“What?”

“Can you do me a favour?” She asked.

 

Time check: two minutes before the class, and it doesn’t really matter anymore. From the looks of it that guy must be hella good driver.

 

......................................the first time we met, I thought he was my angel, turns out, it was true. Cause he’s the only person who can kill me with his silence and bring me back to life with just two words...

I’m sorry.