A/n:  Sorry for not updating sooner!!! > x < 

Anyways, I shall now proceed to the fic. :/

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~Smudge~

"I'm sorry, Mr. Kim. I'm afraid you don't have that much time left." All time seemed to stop for Myungsoo when he heard the doctor's words. 

"Eh?" 

"Well, you see..." He drowned out whatever the doctor was saying. He couldn't believe it. He was going to die soon. Just when he had moved in with his lover, Sungyeol. Just when he had graduated from college. Just when everything was perfect for him and his friends.

"...You have approximately 2 months left. It couldn't be prevented. It's in your genetics..." The doctor finished, almost nervously, anticipating Myungsoo to break down, or to flip out. Instead, he nodded calmly, seemingly resigned to his fate.

"Ah. Okay... Thanks, doc." He stood up and motioned to open the door and get out of the clinic. What was the point of listening to the reasons and more excuses for his imminent death, anyway? 

"I'm truly sorry about the turn of events. Live your remaining time thoroughly." Myungsoo stopped in his tracks. Though the doctor was apologising, in his ears, he sounded anything but sorry. It almost seemed like the world was mocking him.

He grit his teeth and shivered at the sudden blast of icy air. 

He pondered on whether or not he should tell Sungyeol, but decided against it right away. He didn't want to worry his love, not when their anniversary was--

Damn. His heart stung bitterly.

Their annivesary was in a month, and three weeks. Five days before his time would be up. 

He sat down on the icy sidewalk and gripped his head in his hands helplessly.

---------------

"Hi Myungie! Back so soon from the doctor? What'd he say?" Sungyeol rushed to the door immediately, when he heard the familiar sound of bells chiming, indicating someone's entrance. He took off his boyfriend's scarf and coat tenderly, hanging it on the rack beside them. Myungsoo glanced down at Sungyeol's soft hands. 

There, on his ring finger, was a glittering diamond ring. 

The ring he gave Sungyeol for their anniversary last year.

Myungsoo almost died a tad too early, trying to remain poker-faced and trying not to cry. Sungyeol looked up at him with big, innocent eyes.

"What's wrong, yeobo? What did the doctor say?" He finished unlacing the other's boots, and set them aside.

"Oh, it was just a cold after all. It's typical, he said, since it's winter." Myungsoo was a good actor, and was great at concealing his emotions, so the smile he flashed at Sungyeol was somewhat convincing. The older male beamed back at him.

"At least it's nothing too serious, huh?" He laughed in a high pitched, dolphin-like voice, that if Myungsoo didn't find the statement so ironic, he would've about it. 

"Yeah." His heart sank. His expression was stony, as the other male bustled around the kitchen, fixing tea and dinner for him.

If only I could spend time with this person forever. 

He let a tear roll down his cheek, before wiping it quickly. 

----------------

"Why aren't you telling him? You do know how much it will hurt him when it's...Time." Sunggyu stared him straight in the eye. 

"I don't want to break his heart, hyung. And I don't know when to tell him." Three weeks had past, and he decided to at least tell Sunggyu, the most logical person he could think of. Smart, reasonable, responsible Sunggyu. 

"Just tell him now. I'm sure he'll understand." Myungsoo rolled his eyes.

"How do you expect me to tell him, then? 'Yeollie, I'm dying five days after our fourth anniversary!'" 

"It's better than keeping it a secret from him. At least he knows the truth." He urged the younger.

"Hyung, just from the slightest bleeding or wound, he cries like a newborn baby. How do you expect him to react when he finds out?" Myungsoo's mouth was pressed into a thin, grim line.

"Well, if you tell him early enough, he'd probably have enough time to accept it, and he wouldn't be as much scarred as you think he'd be." 

"It's not that easy, hyung. It's not that easy." He shook his head, before giving a small thanks, and leaving Sunggyu's apartment.

Not long after, Woohyun emerged out of the bathroom, wiping his damp hair with a towel. 

"What was that about?" He pecked Sunggyu on the lips.

"It was nothing." Woohyun frowned, but decided not to say anything.

------------

"Sungyeol." The elder snapped his head to look at Myungsoo.

"What is it?"

"If you were to live while knowing that you're dying in a month, what would you do?" Sungyeol frowned; he wasn't very comfortable with these kinds of conversations. 

"I would spend the rest of my days with you, of course." He kissed the other on the cheek lovingly.

"But I don't understand, how will that make your life any different? We spend everyday together." He was unsatisfied with the other's answer.

"Every day is different. Every day is fun, as long as it's with you." Their fingers interlaced, and Myungsoo almost teared up at how much he would miss this.

He didn't want to give this up yet.

-----------------

A month had already passed, and before he knew it, their anniversary was tomorrow.

Myungsoo sighed, as he called up Hoya's number. 

"Hello?" 

"Hey, Hoya-hyung. Can you gather everyone up? We're going to the beach." 

--------------------

For the first time in a long time, they thoroughly enjoyed being in each other's company. All seven of them, together. It was just perfect, and it wasn't until the sun was setting, when he remembered that, this was the last anniversary they'd be spending together, and tomorrow was another day, and his life span was decreasing. Sungyeol and Sungjong played in the water, while the five of them sat side by side near the shore, with their shoulders touching. 

"So... I heard from Sunggyu that... You have four days left." Woohyun piped up, obviously attempting to sound casual, but failing instead. 

"Y-you know?!" Myungsoo gasped. He hadn't intended to make it a big deal. Dongwoo nodded.

"Everyone knows. Even Sungjong does." It broke Myungsoo's heart to imagine how the youngest must have taken the news. 

"You should at least tell Sungyeol. If you can't say it, maybe you should write him a letter." Suggested Sunggyu.

For the first time since he had received the news from the doctor, he sobbed.

He let the tears flow freely, as his body shook from crying. By that time, the other three people were either crying, or about to.

Woohyun, who was holding Sunggyu in his arms (he was sobbing so hard, they thought he'd break.) had suspiciously glassy eyes. Howon was silently crying, with his face tipped downwards, and Dongwoo had a painful expression on his face as he futilely tried to suppress the tears. 

Sungyeol and Sungjong approached them curiously. They were dumbfounded (Well, it was really just Sungyeol.) to see all of them crying.

"Yah, babo. What're you crying for?" Chuckling, Sungyeol grabbed Myungsoo for an embrace as he kissed the tears away.

"I was just thinking...About how lucky I am to have someone like you. " 

"Haha, just so long as you enjoy being with me and treat me well, it's fine. What's wrong, we still have plenty of time together." Myungsoo's chest clenched painfully at the naïve and innocent look on his lover's face. 

"And why are you crying?" He signaled at the other three. 

"This babo... He just moves everyone to tears whenever he cries. So pathetic!" Woohyun gripped Myungsoo in a bone-breaking hug. Not long after, all of them were hugging Myungsoo like their life depended on it. Sungjong was almost crying by now, still trying to stay strong.

"Hey... Am I supposed to cry, too?" Sungyeol pouted playfully. Everyone laughed. 

How he would miss the sound of everyone's laugh.

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The night fell, and everything around them was quiet. It was relaxing, and it was a night of passion. 

"A-Ah, Sungyeol!"

"Myungsoo!!" 

Their fingers intertwined, they collapsed on top of each other.

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"What the hell is this crap, Myungsoo?!!" Sungyeol was in tears, and Myungsoo had to restrain himself from hugging the elder, kissing him, and taking back everything he said.

"I'm...breaking up with you, hyung. I knew we couldn't last, anyways. We were fools to think we'd have a chance at forever." His face was stony, and his tone was bitter. Sungyeol slammed his fist on the wall beside Myungsoo's face, tears streaming down his face. The younger didn't even flinch.

"AFTER FOUR YEARS, MYUNGSOO?! FOUR. FREAKING. YEARS!!!" He didn't want to see Sungyeol's expression, so he kept his gaze firmly on the ground.

"We were young then, hyung. We were stupid." Sungyeol winced at the harsh words. He cried silently, even more tears rolling down his cheeks. Myungsoo's own eyesight was beginning to become blurry. 

"Then... Why did you give me a ring? Why did you make me so happy four days ago, during our anniversary? Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why can't we last, Myungsoo?" 

"......The letter speaks everything." Was all he said, and Sungyeol wanted to hit him so badly, to shake him with all his might; Where did his Myungsoo go?

"I don't want that piece of paper, dammit! I want to hear it from you!" He grabbed his wrist, and Myungsoo couldn't take it anymore. Any longer, and he'd break down and cry. He wanted to leave a strong, harsh impression on the elder. He retracted his wrist strongly, and stormed out of the house. Sungyeol followed him desperately.

"Tell me it's just a joke.... Tell me you're not serious...." He didn't care that he was begging at this point; He didn't have much pride left, anyway. 

"It's not a joke, Lee Sungyeol-ah.." And with that, Myungsoo left from his sight. 

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"I broke up with him, hyung." 

"Myungsoo...." 

Hoya held Myungsoo while he cried.

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Sungyeol was broken emotionally. A world without his Myungsoo was nothing. He sighed and stretched out on the floor, but was surprised when his hand came in contact with a folded piece of paper. He decided to read it. 

        " Dear Sungyeol,

I just can't take it anymore. Living with you, seeing you smile.... Which is why I have to leave you.

I don't want to cause pain for the both of us. I've prepared myself so much these two months. 

I'm sorry to say that-----"

Sungyeol couldn't read the rest of the letter, since everything was smudged; the ink was blotted and wattery, deeming it unreadable. It was wet from the water from their previous quarrel, and some of the words were stained with...tears?

He picked up the bottle of soju beside him and downed it in one go. 

Who needs love, anyway? He laughed bitterly, though it came out as an undignified sob.

Kim Myungsoo, You'll be the death of me...You're driving me crazy.

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The sound of the telephone ringing woke Sungyeol up, cranky and in a foul mood. He had cried himself to sleep that night, and now he had a very bad hangover. He grabbed the phone, and croaked into the receiver.

"Hello?" 

"Hyung, come quick. It's...Myungsoo." Sungjong's voice cracked at the end, and Sungyeol knew it had to be serious. He pulled on a pair of pants, slippers, and dashed outside. 

"Jong-ah, where are you?"

"Hyung, I'm at Hoya-hyung and Dongwoo-hyung's house. Come quick!" 

Sungyeol ran as fast as his long legs could carry him, and in less than five minutes, he reached the pair's house. He was panting for breath, but it didn't matter once he saw the sight before him.

Myungsoo's body was shaking, and he was hyperventilating. His eyes were rolling to the back of his head, and he was deathly pale. 

Sungyeol covered his mouth to muffle the loud gasp that escaped from his mouth. All of his friends were there, and he grabbed their attention with the sound he made. They all had tears streaming down their faces, and it wasn't long after that Sungyeol felt his own escape from his eyes.

"Wh-what happened?" He managed to croak out. He stumbled beside Myungsoo, who was on the floor. The younger male brought his eyes up to him, in a tender and longing gaze.

"I'm so sorry, hyung. I... Did you read the letter?" Sungyeol hushed him with a kiss on the lips.

"Shh.. Don't speak much." Myungsoo's breathing was labored, and tears were rolling down his cheeks too.

"Sungyeol... No matter what, I'll always love you." 

"Wait, Myungsoo! On the letter--"  Myungsoo gave one last shuddering breath, and his grip on Sungyeol's hand became limp. He closed his eyes, and he wore an expression of peacefulness. 

Sungyeol cried out miserably.

---------------------

It was a silent and peaceful funeral. The snow was beginning to melt away, and it was a beautiful day, in terms of weather.

For Sungyeol, however, it couldn't be any worse. 

He cursed everything, especially the smudged letter. He couldn't understand what Myungsoo was trying to say, through the piece of paper. He knew there was no one to blame, really. 

He just couldn't help the tears that escaped from his eyes. 

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A year later, Sungyeol and the rest of his friends debuted as a boy group, called Infinite. 

He hated the name, he hated how it reminded him of his and Myungsoo's vow before. 

'To be together for Infinity.' 

He requested the CEO to cut his lines for every song; He was too afraid of breaking down into tears in the middle of singing. 

That day, a new member entered their so-called 'Family'. 

He despised the new guy right away, even though he hadn't even arrived yet. How could he seemingly take Myungsoo's place in their 'family'? How could the members forget about him, and just move on with their lives? 

He scowled when the new guy strolled into their practice room, beside Tablo.

"Hey, everyone, this is L. Please treat him nicely." He said briefly, before leaving him to them. Everyone swarmed around him instantly, everyone except Sungyeol. He didn't even bother to take a look at him; he was too disgusted. 

He hated how everyone fussed around him. 

--------------

The new guy was silent, and hadn't spoken anything, really...Well, nothing that Sungyeol had heard, at least. He was walking back to his room, when L accidentally bumped into him, smudgin Sungyeol's shirt with ink, from filling out forms from Woolim Ent. 

"Hey, watch it--" L's hood fell off from his head, revealing a familiar set of chocolate brown eyes, pale skin, and soft, black hair. 

"Sorry....Sungyeol hyung, isn't it?" He didn't receive any reply, since Sungyeol hugged him tightly. 

It was a miracle, his Myungsoo had returned for him. He didn't know how it happened, but there he was, in the flesh, by the name of L. 

Sungyeol didn't care about the younger man's protests and squirming, and he just let the tears out.

"Hyung, don't cry." He said quite nervously, and quietly. Sungyeol sniffled.

"B-But all this time, I thought I was alone...!" He could barely form a coherent sentence from his wailing. 

"You're not alone, hyung. You're never alone. I mean, we're all together, right? We'll be together, for infinity."

"You're right, L-ah." Sungyeol smiled. For once, he didn't really hate smudges, and decided to ignore the ugly smudge on his shirt.

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/IS SHOT/

TT ~ TT 

OMG, this is so sad... :(((((

I don't even know why I wrote this.... -___-

Thanks for reading~ XD Don't forget to  comment and subscribe? :3