“Goodbye Nichkhun-ssi,” Victoria shouted as she waves goodbye peeking through the window of her car.

“Take care! Bye Victoria-ssi,” He smiled and waved back at her as the car drove away.

The filming of the 27^th episode ended and he was left all alone at the cold street outside the coffee shop. The crew finished packing and went home early. He couldn’t help but feel the loneliness creep in. He was used to loneliness but not this kind, this one was different. It’s the kind of loneliness he gets when he says goodbye to her.

It always had been different with Victoria.  

She was the kind of girl who likes childish stuff but doesn’t want to seem too childish. She’s easily angered but then soon enough she’s smiling and laughing again. She is the girl that is not afraid to speak her heart out or help out anyone in need. She was that girl.

She’s the one he’s been trying to impress.

Why am I trying so hard to impress a girl?

He thought to himself.

 It’s confusing him a lot. She confuses him a lot. It always end up like this, leaving him confused whether what he’s feeling is real or if anything was real?

Because sometimes during their takes he forgets that there are cameras everywhere that people are watching them. Those were the times that all he could see was her, staring back at him with her lovely smile.

Just the thought of those moments he felt a little bit warm inside.

Despite the biting-cold just the thought of her made him feel a different warmth.

Sometimes he’d wish that everything was actually real. That she was truly his, forever as his wife.

But right now all he wishes was that the show never ends. It’s because then he’d be able to be with her always, trying to make her happy and that alone was enough for him.

If only she knew how he really felt.

I wonder if she sees the way I look at her when she not looking. How much she makes me smile when she says something cute. The way I control myself not to hug her every time I see her. How I always want to be with her. How lonely I get when she’s not around. How she changed my world the moment she entered it.

And how unknowingly she became my world…

These thoughts continued to circle in Nichkhun’s mind but then he had to go, the freezing coldness was too unbearable for him.

Christmas lights glitter all around as he walked by.

Then suddenly he heard it.

“Nichkhun-ssi!”

He turned around.

And there she was, catching her breath as she walked up to him.

“I ran out of the car to give this back,” she said to him as she pulled out something from her pocket.

She hands him the gloves he had given to her earlier.

“Sorry I forgot to give it back. Your hands must be cold, ” she pouted showing how truly guilty she felt.

He smiled at her,

“Thanks,”

Then he hugs her tightly. As her faces digs in his chest, his arms sprawled around her shoulders. He lets his guard down for awhile and let loose.

For a night like this makes him want to let everything he’s holding together, fall down even for moment.

“Sorry Victoria-ssi, I’m feeling cold,” he said to her still not letting her go.

He never wanted her to go, not tonight.

“It’s okay,” she said back to him.

Slowly snow was falling, this time he hadn’t planned it at all. They both look up as the snow gently landed on them.

“beautiful…” She said as she watched the snow fall.

Not as beautiful as you.

Why am I trying so hard to impress a girl?

Because right now she’s mine, my wife and my world.