5^th Diary

I had a dream. A strange one.

It was very long, but I only remember some parts of it.

In the dream, I was at school, with my classmates. Teacher was teaching in front but we were talking at the back. Kai, my desk mate told me that he was going to group date after school. He asked me to join him but I rejected him. Because I always have ‘dates’ with Minho after school. Kai is my next best friend after Minho. Kai is the only want who knows that I like Minho. Kai was annoyed, he told me something but I couldn’t remember what. After that, somehow I was at the gym, P.E time. Our class was combined with another class for the lesson. We were having basketball lesson, but I saw some girls in swimsuits. A girl from the other class approached me and handed me a note. Someone wanted to confess to me. I knew, it’s not the first time I received such notes.

After class, I was debating with myself to meet the girl or not. Kai told me to go. He said it won’t take much time and talking about girls’ heart. Then, I went to meet the girl. I’m not sure where it was but it was in a room, with a wide window, opened. Most probably on second floor because I saw blue sky from the window. The girl was waiting for me. She had long black curled-ends hair, big eyes, fair skin... almost pale, plump red lips and she’s tall. I knew her, because I called her name… what was it?... I can’t remember anymore. I rejected her feeling right away, in most polite way I could think, but I made her cried. I tried to comfort her but suddenly she looked at me with scary eyes. Her red puffy eyes changed to a pair of vey red eyes, a demonic one and her lips looked much redder, like it was colored with blood. I was shocked that I pushed her away. She screamed at me, really loudly before she… jumped out of the window. I don’t know why, but in the dream I wasn’t surprised or concern at all. After she jumped, I went back to my class, just to find it empty.

So, I walked back home and somehow I wasn’t in my school uniform anymore. I was dressing casually. Along the road, people stared at me weirdly. I wanted to go home but I forgot my way home, so I stopped at a grocery shop to buy… a cabbage. When I went to the counter to pay, Sunny noona was the cashier. I pretended not to know her and she acted the same too. I put my cabbage on the counter to pay, but Sunny noona… instead of telling me amount that I should pay, she told me;

“What are you? You took mum and dad’s love from me and you are just a jerk at school.  Do you really think you can earn your living with dancing? Even monkeys do better than you.”

I was very shocked but I wasn’t felt hurt at all at that time. I just thought; monkeys swing on the trees, they don’t dance. But I didn’t say it to Sunny noona, I just took my cabbage and walked away. Now, I’m thinking back of those words, they are really stung. I feel really bad right now. But I still want to finish writing about my dream.

After that, I found myself at Minho’s house. I was at the living room, with the television . I saw Minho in the television. He was playing soccer… for the World Cup. He scored a goal, the whole stadium (in the television) cheered for him, the camera has close up for him and in a second, he drank a bottle of Coke and after that he smiled handsomely to the camera and it turned into coca-cola CF. I didn’t know how I did it, but I paused the television, so I could stare at Minho’s handsome face. As I was staring, I heard someone knocked the door. I went to open it and it was Minho. He smiled as he saw me and I believe I smiled wider. I let him in (even though it’s his house). He asked me where I would like the tutoring session to be done and shamelessly I answered; his bedroom. I didn’t know where did I get that courage (maybe because it was a dream) but Minho just replied; ok.

We went to his bedroom… but somehow when we entered it; it looked like MY bedroom. Suddenly Minho sat on my bed… a moment after, he lay down on it. I think I blushed (even though it’s just a dream) and I awkwardly asked him why he was on my bed. He laughed at me and I think I blushed more. Then, he told me to lay with him… on the bed. I get on the bed hesitantly but then Minho suddenly grabbed me, making me fall on the bed, close to him. He had his arms wrapped around my waist and my cheek was rubbed against his broad chest. I saw him closing his eyes with a smile. It felt so good and warm, being so close to Minho. I stayed there smiling to myself like a stupid person and I woke up.

I woke up and found myself in this stupid room again, alone, without Minho. I feel  happy and sad at the same time. I’m happy because I met Minho in my dream but I’m sad because it’s just a dream.

I wish I can dream of Minho more.

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====I think this chapter deserves explanations.===

Please understand that this is entirely a dream. So, you might find the story line is nonsense.

*No, no one has died because of Teamin. He ran regular life before this*

But as dreams usually represent our memories and our emotions, there were some hints about Teamin’s regular life and his current state in this

Taemin's life & the dream

1# Kai is really is Taemin’s best friend at school.

2# The confession scene represents his real memory. The girl who confessed to him was Sulli and he did reject her. But demon eyes and jumping out of window didn’t happened. Taemin saw it like that because he felt guilty.   

3# When he saw his classroom is empty also represents that he feel like there wasn’t anyone who he can rely on among his classmates.

4# When he was walking home, people stared at him strangely because that’s how Taemin thinks other perceived him in real life. He’s the school’s idol, girls and boys want to be his friends, but most of them are not really sincere to be his friends.

5# At the grocery shop, he buys cabbage because one of his mother image that Taemin strongly hold is, her mother with a cabbage (because she always brought cabbage to made kimchi for her family).

6# When he saw Sunny noona (Taemin’s sister) as the cashier, it’s because he’s the closest to Sunny noona among his sisters. When Sunny said those cruel words, it indicates that what Taemin silently scolded himself in his heart. He feel guilty for hurting many girls who confessed to him, he feel guilty that his mother and father seemed to give him more attention (because he’s the youngest) and yet he wasn’t that great at school. He also always had those doubts about his dancing abilities and his dream (to be an idol)

7# When he went to Minho’s house, obviously because he’s currently miss Minho.

8# What he saw in the television is Minho’s dream that he told Taemin. Minho really likes soccer and his childhood dream is to be a soccer player.

9# When Taemin met Minho and that they went on the bed together just indicates how much Taemin ‘like’ and miss Minho.

Taemin’s current condition & the dream

The girl who confessed to him was Sulli and it was in the music room (in real life, he really knew Sulli).

He also forget his way home in his dream

= He’s slowly forgetting things.

>>>the rest are just complete random (because it's a dream)