Kibum was only seven months older than himself, Kyuhyun protested. The middle school student with bright eyes and an obsessive passion for Starcraft looked up petulantly at Leeteuk.

Leeteuk shook his head. “No Kyu,” the university undergraduate said firmly, “Someone is going to walk you home everyday after school from now on.”

Kyuhyun wanted to kick his older brother. He held back though. Only Sungmin and Ryeowook would let him get away with it. “I don’t want to wait in the library after school,” he whined, putting his chin on top of his books he was carrying in his arms. “I’ll be nerdy like Kibum-hyung.”

Ryeowook giggled. He was sitting on the step to the house, hugging his school bag. He and Kibum were going to be late for their classes if Kyuhyun continued.

“Kyu ah, you already have the highest grades among all of us apart from Kibummie,” Leeteuk sighed. Kyuhyun still had a determined glint in his eyes. “Don’t argue, or I’ll call Kangin.”

He watched in satisfaction as Kyuhyun’s eyes went as wide as saucers. Kangin looked and talked rough, but he would never hurt any of his brothers. His yells were enough.

“Now shoo.”

Ryeowook jumped to his feet and ran back to Kyuhyun. He grabbed the other’s hand and pulled him. “Bye hyung!” he shouted over his shoulder.

Kyuhyun’s protests to slow down were drowned by Ryeowook’s high laughs. It was hard to tell that Ryeowook was older than both Kibum and Kyuhyun. Kibum, who was in charge of Kyuhyun for the day, barely acknowledged Leeteuk’s presence as he slipped on his shoes. He walked quickly after his brothers. At the gate, just at the last moment, he turned around and smiled at Leeteuk. It disappeared as quickly as it came, as if Kibum was bashful about it. But it was enough to reassure Leeteuk of the maknaes’ safety.

Leeteuk closed the door. He took a moment for himself and closed his eyes. It was hard being the parental figure for fourteen other brothers. He wondered whether Kyuhyun was truly okay, or if he was hiding his real emotions behind a mask. Fourteen-years-old seemed too young.

A hand snuck on Leeteuk’s shoulder. Leeteuk jumped. “Aish!” Heechul snapped. He his left hand that Leeteuk had whacked away. “What was that for?”

“Sorry.”

Heechul put his hands inside his pockets. He didn’t say anything, but he was worried for his only hyung. When Kyuhyun landed up in the hospital a week ago, Leeteuk was beside himself in panic. Sleepless nights at the hospital bedside, then outside Kyuhyun’s bedroom; and he found Leeteuk sleeping in the kitchen that morning with overdue bills tucked under his arm.

“Do you think Kibummie will be okay with Kyuhyun in the afternoon?” Leeteuk asked Heechul. “He looks tired nowadays.”

Heechul waved his hand dismissively. “They stay in the same room. They borrowed two computers from school. What do you think they were doing at night?”

“Homework?” said Leeteuk hopefully.

Heechul snorted. “Fat hope.”

“I do hope they’re getting enough sleep…”

“Yah, yah, you let them be. You need to take care of yourself.”

Leeteuk frowned at Heechul. They were the nearest of ages, which meant they could confide in each other some things he could not with the others. For Heechul to voice his concerns so explicitly; he must have been harbouring the thought for a long time.

“I’m fine –”

“You’re holding a day job, a night job, and taking university exams,” interrupted Heechul. He looked incredulous. “I would drag you to the resort spa with me if only you had time.”

“Spa?”

“Company privileges,” Heechul explained shortly. He recently managed to find work as a manager at a resort hotel, when he was not preoccupied with his website. He had a travel blog too, and made money from advertisements there. At least that’s what he said; Hankyung reckoned he simply liked taking pictures of himself and getting sponsorships to travel. Sometimes when Heechul got tickets to China, he sent Hankyung and Zhou Mi there instead. In fact, they were touring around Beijing and Suzhou region now for three days.

“Maybe next time,” Leeteuk answered without conviction. Heechul scowled. Leeteuk had been promising ‘next time’s for months already. Then, his watch beeped.

“I need to go to work now, and so do you.” Leeteuk took long steps to the bottom of the staircase. “Sungmin-ah!”

Light footsteps were immediately heard. Sungmin folded his arms and leaned over the banister at the top of the staircase. “Yes?” he inquired brightly.

“I’m trusting mochi to you,” Leeteuk instructed, looking up and cupping his hands around his mouth. “Give him his cold medication at noon. Oh – and once Kyu and Kibummie come home, call me okay?”

Sungmin grinned. “Okay!” He disappeared back up to his room.

Leeteuk resisted the urge to shake his head at the younger one’s antics. Henry, the youngest of them all, was sick from the common cold. It wouldn’t feel right to leave him by himself at home. Of the six brothers studying in high school, Sungmin was the only one responsible and coping well enough in school not to lose out on one day’s absence.

When he went into the kitchen to grab his bag before leaving, he found Heechul sitting with his legs crossed and holding a blue bill between his fingers. “Next time the bills come, you’re sharing them with me,” Heechul stated simply.

Leeteuk opened his mouth to argue but thought the better of it. He was too tired to argue with Heechul, who could fight wars by himself if he thought was worthwhile.  Maybe tonight.

“We’ll talk about this later, okay? Kyu’s our priority now. See you soon, Heechul.”

To say that Kyuhyun did not like middle school was an understatement. He hated it. Unlike his hyungs, who had each other in the same class, he was the only one in his year. This opened a lot of doors for bullies. Some boys in his class hated his intelligence, and the occasional insinuating remark. Being poor was just one difference they liked to expound on.

“Hey idiot!” shouted one of the boys, when he stepped into the classroom. “How much money did you bring for the trip? We’re all going to buy ahjumma’s kimchi when we get there!”

“You think he can buy even a roadside snack for me?” cackled another. “I bet he up to the teachers on the last test to even get bus money for the trip.” There was a chorus of laughter to that.

Kyuhyun ignored the tone, but not the words. He glared at them, silencing one or two. He went to his seat at the front of the class near the windows and dumped his bag on his chair loudly to vent his feelings. It was the seat that teachers like to call upon, because he was within close proximity and his answers were usually correct. It was also the furthest away from the gang of boys who dominated the back row of the classroom.

A slight chill ran over his body. He had forgotten the date after his long absence. His class had a science trip down to the suburbs. There was supposed to be activities in the sun and general fun.

He could barely keep up with Ryeowook’s energetic bounces and Kibum’s fast pace while walking to school. How was he going to last the long hours of walking in the sun? He brought no money too. Should he call Teukie-hyung–?

“I bet he’s going to skip the trip,” said a carrying, obnoxious voice. “Why should he come and spoil all the fun –”

“Hey, shut up!” yelled back another boy. “What are you talking about, buying more food? You’re so fat you shouldn’t eat some more.”

The childish insult stung to the other students’ ears. The girls gasped and tittered among themselves. The boy in question jumped to his feet, curling his chubby fists. Just then, the teacher walked in with his long metre rule in hand. He whacked the board with it for attention. The students scrambled to their respective seats.

“Thanks,” Kyuhyun whispered quietly to his partner. Changmin turned his head slightly, and sneaked a glance at his friend. He grinned, holding a thumb up.

The whispers started again before long. “Look at that Cho kid, falling asleep like some baby. Why do you think he disappeared for the whole of last week anyway?”

“Teacher said it was personal issues, remember?”

There was a derisive snort. “Please. More likely he skipped school.”

“Kyuhyun, are you okay? You look pale.”

“Mmm.”

“Don’t worry, the bus ride isn’t that bad, right? Ignore those idiots!” Changmin turned around in his seat next to the aisle on the bus and shouted the last word to the boys behind. This immediately earned him a yelled scolding from the teacher, who warned the whole class to stay quiet. Everyone kept quiet from then on. Changmin, unfazed by the teacher, gave a satisfied smirk.

“Sorry Changmin. I’ll pay you back the bus fare later.”

“No… it’s okay. Go back to sleep, Kyu. I’ll wake you up when we arrive”

“Changmin… I’m tired. I don’t want to walk anymore.”

“Kyu? Kyuhyun!”

After school, everyone usually dispersed for their extra-curricular activities or ploughed on to cram school. It was strange to see someone sitting at the school benches and shaking their leg.

“I need to go,” Ryeowook said nervously, looking down at his watch. He was due for choir practice. “The section leader isn’t a very nice person.”

Kibum shook his head. He had asked his friend to pull Ryeowook out of the classroom to talk. “Kyuhyun isn’t here,” he insisted. “I’ve been waiting for an hour already!”

“Did you ask his classmates?”

A dark look shrouded Kibum’s face. He had his suspicions that Kyuhyun’s classmates weren’t a nice bunch of people. There were certainly rumours of some foul-mouthed juniors in the school, who Kibum quietly traced back to Kyuhyun’s class. The only person Kyuhyun would voluntarily talk about was a boy named Changmin.

“The whole classroom is empty.”

“Ne, that’s strange…” Ryeowook scratched the side of his cheek. “If only Kyu had a handphone…”

Kibum looked at Ryeowook. Of all the brothers, Ryeowook seemed to be the most unfazed by their tight money. The older brothers tried to give the younger ones as much of a normal life as they could afford. It was Ryeowook’s cheerful disposition, however, that kept Kibum from feeling too selfish every day.

“So should I continue waiting?” Kibum asked.

“You can always go to the general office and call the teacher from there,” Ryeowook advised. The bell rang, signalling the start of another hour. Ryeowook pushed himself away from the table. “If you still can’t find Kyu, find me in the choir room!”

He dashed off. Kibum took his own bag and made his way to the front of the school.

He stood still in the near-silent office, which had two administrative clerks typing away at the computers. One of them reached out for her cup of coffee; and nearly knocked it over when she noticed Kibum.

“Good child, you scared me!” she exclaimed. “Next time call us when you arrive!”

“I’m looking for class 3J,” Kibum intoned, an antithesis to her overt reaction. “The classroom is empty. Where are they?”

The clerk looked slightly taken back at his request. “You’re looking for an entire class?” She opened her drawer and pulled out a thick folder. She flipped through the plastic sheets and pulled out a sheet of paper.

“They had science class, which ended one hour ago.”

“Ah! That reminds me. There is a science class excursion today,” the other clerk chipped in. He leaned back into his chair. “The Head of Department mentioned it this morning.”

They looked expectantly at the quiet boy. Kibum considered the news, looking indifferent. Leeteuk would surely give him a good talking-down if he went back home without Kyuhyun. He already had a heart-to-heart with him for ‘being too quiet’ a while ago, and it wasn’t a pleasant evening.

"Can I call the teacher-in-charge then?” Kibum answered.

“Sure. We can’t give you here number, but we can telephone him for you.” The lady gestured for Kibum to move forwards. She punched in the number and offered the phone to him.

“Yes?” a gruff voice said.

Kibum paused. “This is Kim Kibum, Kyuhyun’s brother. I –”

“Kyuhyun’s brother!” repeated the voice, his volume turned up. “I don’t know how the news reached you so fast. Well, there’s nothing to worry about. Your brother is fine.”

“… Was there something to worry about?”

“Hold on.” In the background, he heard the teacher yell for silence. The background noise lessened considerably. “Okay. Kyuhyun suffered a minor heat a while ago. He fainted in the hot sun.” There was a click of the tongue. Unbeknownst to him, Kibum’s face darkened at that sound. “The class is on the way back. We’ll arrive in school in fifteen minutes. What’s your name again?”

“Kibum.”

There was a grunt of acknowledgement, and the teacher hung up.

An hour and a half had already passed since school ended. Kibum sighed. He was back at the benches near the front of the school. He crushed the empty can of cola he was holding and aimed carefully, like Siwon taught him. The can went into the open bin without touching the sides. It was a good thing he was assigned to walk Kyuhyun home that day; someone else like Heechul would have long disappeared already.

Kyu owes me, Kibum thought, just as the bus rolled into the school.

Students streamed out of the bus almost as soon as the vehicle stopped. Kibum stood up in anticipation. When the last student hopped out of the bus, Kibum frowned. After waiting a few seconds, he walked towards the bus.

Just as Kibum stopped at the door, Kyuhyun appeared. “Ahh!” they both exclaimed together.

The teacher was the last to leave the bus. He nodded at Kibum before going back into the school building. Kibum already had his arm protectively around his younger brother.

“Get your hand off me!” Kyuhyun squirmed. Kibum gave a snort worthy of Heechul.

“Are you… Kibum-shi?” Changmin asked, sounding timid looking at the senior. Kibum had youthful features like Donghae that gave him a boyish look. The perpetual serious gaze on his face, however, made him look older. It was hard to get him to smile – or even touch another, which was why no matter how much Kyuhyun grumbled, he would never have pushed Kibum’s arm away from his shoulders.

“Yes.” Kibum was looking at Kyuhyun with a steely gaze. Kyuhyun resolutely looked at his shoe. “You have some explaining to do.”

“I told Leeteuk-hyung I didn’t need a babysitter!” Kyuhyun burst out. “I don’t know whether you’ll be waiting for me, or if I have to wait for you! What happens if I wait too long and- and –”

Flashback

 A gangly boy was jumping on puddles of water by the roadside. He had finished school earlier than most of his brothers. He had not so much ran away from the bullies in school, but rather wanted to run back home to freedom, love and Starcraft. It was drizzling slightly; the dark cloud ominous for a thunderstorm.

A white van drove slowly in the otherwise empty street. It stopped next to the boy.

He looked up defiantly, wary. “Who are you?”

The window rolled down and a white arm hung out of the window, beckoning the boy to come closer. “Come here sweetie,” cooed a sweet feminine voice from deeper within the van.  “It’s raining and you don’t want to catch a cold! We’ll take you home.”

The boy backed away, all playfulness gone. “Leeteuk-hyung says I can’t talk to strangers,” he said mockingly, at the way the woman talked as if he was a child. The door clicked open. Without another thought, the boy turned around and started running. He didn’t get far before a strong pair of arms held him in an iron grip, and a rag was stuffed into his mouth before he could scream.

“Do you remember what happened to you?” Kibum asked suddenly, looking at Kyuhyun’s wide eyes. They held flecks of fear. As soon as he saw them, they disappeared.

“No,” Kyuhyun responded sullenly. “Let’s go home, hyung.” He turned to Changmin and said a brief thanks and goodbye.

Changmin cast his friend a worried glance that said promised questions in the future, and then ran off inside the school building.

On the way home, Kyuhyun quickened his steps by the sidewalk. “Kyu?” Kibum called, his face of confusion as the normally slow boy suddenly broke into a run.

Kyuhyun wouldn’t stop running until they reached the front of the apartment building. He pushed the broken gate open and skidded to a halt in front of their house, on the first floor.

Kibum reached out and caught Kyuhyun’s arm before he left. “Is that where you were kidnapped?” he asked straight-forwardly.  

“I-I don’t remember.”

The door wretched open suddenly, revealing Sungmin. “You’re home!” he exclaimed. “Finally!”

Kyuhyun took the opportunity to push past his hyung and hurry into the house. Sungmin gave Kyuhyun a quizzical glance.

“What happened to him?”

“He had an unexpected science trip, and passed out from the heat,” Kibum said, as if it was a normal thing. “I think he remembers some things of That Day too.”

Sungmin widened his eyes. He ushered his brother into the house, before they stood there too long. “There’s nothing much we can do until he fully remembers what happened,” Sungmin said thoughtfully, closing the door. “Are you okay? You look pretty tired too.”

Kibum nodded. Sungmin sighed. “You’re a bit like Kyuhyun too, you know Kibummie. It won’t hurt to share what you’re feeling. Something’s been bothering you the past few days – you’re not sleeping well.”

“I’m fine.”

Sungmin watched his dongsaeng climb up the stairs, two at a time. The fifteen of them were an odd mismatch of a family. Leeteuk had been trying to keep them all together since he came of age and the orphanage closed down a few years ago. They were all they had.

It took the middle child to see that having one of the maknaes nearly torn from them had shaken every single one of them.

And perhaps reopened some scars. 

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