(A/N: ok i think some ppl are going to get confused but taemin and jonghyun arent biological brothers they just grow up together... they are close like brothers tho :D... also the beginning of jonghyuns past is kind of voilent... i tried not to go into to much detail but yeah some ppl still might get disturbed...)

My past is completely different then Taemins. Unlike him I don't remember the whole 'Orb' Soul thing. I don't remember meeting a angel in a white room but Junsu Hyung told me that's how all souls come into existence so I guess pretty much the same thing happened to me, Hyung told me I don't remember the beginning because unlike my little brother I didn't die. Well I did die, just not right after birth like him. So my earliest memories are different.

My earliest memories are with my parent's, I don't remember being born I mean no one does right? My earliest memories are the fights. My mom and dad fighting. My dad would come home at night screaming and hit my mom throw her down onto the ground and beat her and then he would come and do the same to me. I was little about 3 or 4 so I thought it was normal. I thought all dad's did this to their family. 

(A/N: this stupid annoying line break wont go away and wont even let me move it down so sorry about it... it's not supposed to be here!!!)

My mom tried to protect me. Whenever she heard my dad come home she would put me into the closet and tell me to stay silent until she came and got me later. She told me it was a game. Like hide and go seek. I had to hide from my dad.

I don't know what we did to make my dad so angry at us, but he would always come home screaming and crying. He told my mom it was all her fault and she would cry and apologize he would smack her around until she was almost unconscious and then he would ask where I was. My mom always refused to tell him and that made him angrier. He would go stomping through the house calling my name offering me candy and other things but I stayed in my hiding spot like mom said to and that's how I lived for the first 6 years of my life... hiding from beatings and bandaging up my mom after he hurt her, I rarely ever saw my dad. He rarely came home and when he did he did my told me to hide until he left. but then one day 2 years later when I was 6 he found me. He opened the closet door and I looked up at him terrified he smiled at me and I shrank back but there was no where for me to hide he grabbed onto my arm and threw me out of the closet.

“This is all your fault Jonghyun!” he yelled at me. “I wouldn't have had to marry her if you hadn't been born! it's your fault my life is like this!” He raised his hand and smacked me hard across the face my head whipped back I didn't know what else to do so apologized but he just kept hitting me. I remember my mom screaming at him to stop, she tried to stop him but he was stronger then her and I remember being flung across the room and into the wall. I heard a cracking sound and felt a horrible pain in my chest the wind was knocked out of me and I just laid on the ground to dazed to move.

I didn't know how to save myself. I should have run away after he threw me against the wall but he was hurting my mom again and I couldn't leave, he kicked her and pulled her hair and when he left her broken on the ground he came towards me again. He grabbed my head and slammed it into the floor over and over I saw stars and everything was getting jumbled i saw red on the floor boards but i had been to young to realize it was blood. My blood! The pain in my head was like nothing I can describe and then it slowly started to fade. I stared up up in at my fathers angry face as it became unfocused and finally my eyes closed and darkness surrounded me.

I was only 6 years old when my father murdered me.

 {☆}   {☆}   {☆}

When I woke up from the beating my father had given me I didn't know I was dead. I was is a field I stood up and began calling for my mother.

“She isn't here young one.” The voice gave me chills. It was like a whisper on the wind.

“Who's there?!” I asked. “Where is my mommy?”

I heard laughter and a woman stepped from the shadows. She had long golden hair and pitch black wings.

“Welcome Jonghyun.” She reached out to me but I shrank back. I didn't want this woman to touch me.

“Who are you? Where am I?”

She smiled at me. “My name is Hae Mi, I'm a angel and you Kim Jonghyun are dead.”

“dead?” I questioned. I knew about death my gold fish Jae had died last month. “I don't feel dead! I want my mommy!”

She looked at me coolly and pulled a mirror out from under her robes. “Look you can't be with your mom because she is still alive and you are not.” She showed me the Mirror and I saw my mom in it. She was in the hospital with all kinds of machines attached to her I felt tears in my eye's.

“I want to be with my mommy!” I cried.

“I can take care of you now.” Hae Mi cooed. “I'm an angel.”

I looked at her suspiciously. “Aren't angels supposed to have white wings?”

“There are many types of angels.” she shrugged. “Come take my hand and I'll bring you home.” she reached out a hand to me and I was about to take it when A voice boomed behind me.

“Hae Mi what do you think you are doing?” I heard Hae Mi hiss and whip around at the person who had interrupted us.

I looked over and saw an angel with pure white wings he looked so beautiful. He had a different aura about him then Hae Mi.

“Nothing that concerns you Leeteuk!”

The White angel glared at her. “This definitely concerns me Hae MI! You know the rules all children belong to God!”

Hae Mi sneered at him. “This soul is tainted he would end up on our side either way. Let me take him Leeteuk.”

The white angel, Leeteuk came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder. He smiled at me and I instantly liked him.

“He is not tainted!” he looked down at me. “Jonghyun do you want me to take you to a safe place?”

I grinned and nodded I would definitely rather go with him then Hae Mi.

Leeteuk smiled mockingly at Hae Mi. “There you have it he chooses God.”

Hae Mi just shook her head staring at me with a look that was a mixture of pity and hate. “Just remember Kim Jonghyun, you are dead now! And it's not Lucifer's fault that it happened, God was the one that made you and your mom suffer so much! Remember THAT before you decide who's side you are on!” and with that she spread her wings and flew away.

I watched her go and then turned to Leeteuk. “Is that true?” I asked him. He just smiled at me sadly and ruffled my hair.

“Come Jonghyun I'll introduce you to your new family.”

I grabbed onto his hand. “I want to stay with you!”

He shook his head. “It's not allowed, but I promise you will like where I take you and I will come visit often if you want.” I nodded I trusted him completely.

 {☆}   {☆}   {☆}

Leeteuk took me to Jaejoong. He told me he was a friend of his and that they where taking care of a boy a little younger then me. He told me I would live with them from now on I was excited I always wanted a little brother. I told that to Leeteuk on the way there and he laughed at me. I like Leeteuk Hyung a lot he is like a father to me. In some ways he is my father. He found me after I died. Sometimes i wished I could have lived with him after I died... but then I would have never met my adorable little brother Taemin.

I still remember the first day I met him. He was the one to open the door when Leeteuk brought me over. He was shorter then me and looked at me and Leeteuk with big innocent eye's and he didn't even question why we where there. He just smiled when he saw me and clapped his hands.

“Welcome! Do you want to play?”

chapter 2 is here jongs past is so sad :( but now now he is with taemin YAY thatnk you 2 my 2 commenters... (Can i triple that number this time? PPPLLLLEEEEAAASSEEE" and thanks to my silent subscribers but please comment i would love to hear from you all

anyways enjoy and comment and subscrible please and ill update sooner ^^