“ Are you sure you don’t need me to accompany you?” Chanyeol asked. Kris merely nodded. “ Okay then. Just don’t do anything dumb, I don’t want to read anything about you on newspaper tomorrow.” He waved his hand to Kris’ back that disappeared into his car.

            Kris found himself in front of her house. It’s still looked the same when he saw it for the first time two years ago. He stepped forward and rang the bell. A familiar figure opened the door minutes later. Unlike himself, she looked like nothing ever happened. She pulled the door wider so Kris could enter. It felt strange now only two of them without him.

            She broke the ice as usual with that annoying smile he hated so much. “ What’s up?”

            Kris didn’t directly answer. He himself didn’t know why his feet took him there. “ I…I-I don’t know. I want to see him,” he shook his head, his voice’s barely a whisper. “ I want to see Lu Han,”

***

            It’s pathetic. Kris knew it much better than anyone else. He thought there’s no more tears left but it did. No matter how Kris had tried to hold them inside, it still streamed down his cheeks endlessly. No one let out a word until the darkness came and fell upon them.

            “ Kris,” she helped him standing back on his feet. But instead of going back to home, both climbed up the hill. They sat down, feeling the night air against their skin.  

            “ You’re okay,” he stated out of the blue after the long silence.

            “ You’re such a mess,” she replied with flat tone.

            “ Do you even love him?”

            She let out something sounded like a chuckle but Kris could notice something else in it. “ What do you think?”

            He didn’t answer. “ I love him more than anything. But he chose you.”

             “ It’s because he loves you more.”

            Kris somehow managed to sneer. “ Sure. Even blind people can tell the fact he loves you as much as I love him,”

            “ How I wish it’s the truth,” Her replied hung in the thin air. Kris turned his head, waiting for her to continue. A smile showed up again on her face. She stared back at him. “ You’re really the dumbest out of the dumbest, aren’t you?” Another chuckle. Kris raised his brows.

            “He didn’t want to hurt you, Kris. He… knew about your feelings towards him even before you yourself realized. And… the fact that his heart’s killing him slowly. He’d tried everything to make distance so he could leave without hurting anyone, especially you. And then I came between you two. Being in love with him since the first time my eyes lied on him,” -a drop- “ I confessed and got rejected of course. He told me the reasons. About himself and you and his condition but I just didn’t give a damn. I kept going after him. I guess I’m the dumbest one…” She tore her eyes and covered her face with palms. “ He never loved me.” Her voice was barely audible.

           Kris stunned. He never seen her like that before. He felt like looking at his own reflection, she looked so frail she’d break anytime. Kris reached out his hands unknowingly and. her hair gently as if he’s trying to calm her.

              “ His last wish is for me to take care of you,” Kris said. “ If he hadn’t loved you, he wouldn’t have asked me that,”

***

              Chanyeol eventually could flash his smile without needed to force it again after months feeling guilty to be happy.

             “ Going out again, Kris?” He grinned,  bending his back beside his cousin who’s tying his shoelaces. Kris lifted his head. His smile had come back too.

              “ Where’s Baekhyun?” He asked back without answering.

              “ Yah!” Chanyeol puckered his lips but it didn’t last long since he couldn’t not to smile thinking about his childhood crush.

            “ Good luck with him, uh?” Kris smirked looking at his cousin as-red-as-boiled-crab’s face. The latter punched his shoulder playfully.

              “ Whatever. Just go,” he pushed Kris’ back forward passing the door. “ And pray for me too! Bye!”

***

             Kris craned his neck although actually it’s unnecessary. He’s been always that tall it’s usually easy to find particular person in the sea of people. But again he forgot who he’d been waiting for.

              “ Sorry, Kris! “ She said, taking off her hoodie.

              “ It’s okay, c’mon.” They walked down the street side by side and stopped at a flower shop. They stepped in.

           “ Now I realize I don’t know if he likes flowers. Do boys like flowers?” She looked at him,  raising her brows. “ Do you like flowers?”

              “ How about you? ”

              “ Uh, it’s different, I’m a girl.”

              Kris found himself grinning.“ Really? Oh yeah sorry, forget about that. So you like flowers too?”

               “ Of course, I’m a girl after all.”

               “ What’s your favorite flower?” Kris asked unknowingly. Her eyes wandered around the shop.

               “ Uh, it’s not here… Bu the way, it’s not important.” She waved her hand. “ What flower do you think he likes?”

               “ No idea,”

             Fortunately a florist showed up to help them. Kris’s just about telling the florist what kind of flower they’re looking for when she interrupted them, pointing a bouquet of pink flowers on the cashier.

              “ What’s that?”

              “ Oh, that’s carnation.”

***

They knelt on the ground with hands on their knees.

               “ Hello, Lu Han-ah, how are you? We hope everything’s going well there.” She said, putting down the bouquet gently. 

               “ We brought you a bouquet. We just realized that we don’t know your favorite flower,” Kris continued.

                “  I saw this and I think it’s pretty. Like you.” She added.

               “ So we bought it. We hope you like it,”

              Both spend the afternoon there. They ate their lunch like on a picnic before decided to go back home. They walked past the usual meadow.

           “ You know, it’s all clover here. People say, if you could find the four-leaf one, you’ll be lucky.” She said out of the blue, pointing the little flowers on their sides.

              “ Oh, only the four-leaf one? Is it rare?” Kris stopped and checked the clovers. “ They’re all three-leaf…”

              “ I want to try finding the four-leaf.”

              But she didn’t crounch down like him. Instead, she put her hand on her forehead, eyes wandering to the endless meadow.

              “ What are you doing?” Kris asked.

              “ Even until you go bald, you won’t find it that way,” She chuckled. Kris stood up and followed her action.

           “ There’s no way we wi-“ He didn’t continue his words as something caught his eyes. He took some steps forward and stopped. She followed him.

              “ What’s up?” Kris didn’t answer. He reached out his hand and picked a sprig of clover.

          “ This!” He put the clover up, showing her what he got. Both went mesmerized for a moment as if they just had found something precious. 

              “ Whoa,”

             “ It’s a four-leaf one!” A smile, a genuine one she never seen before showed up on his face.

             “ Congrats for your discovery, Kris!” She clapped her hands. Both grinned sheepishly like elementaries.

             “ Here then,” He handed her the clover. “ For you,”

***

              Chanyeol knew what would his soul would read the next morning on newspaper.

Park Chanyeol (19) found dead at Namsan Park due to heart attack.

               “ Chanyeol-ah?”

                It’s okay. At least the last thing happened to him was the best thing he could ask for.

                “ Chan Yeol-ahhh,”

                Yes. It’s all beyond beautiful. Now he could rest in peace.

                “ Park Chanyeol-ssi, are you okay?”

              Chanyeol stumbled over his own feet and felt it. His body fell onto the ground. He looked up and coming back into his sense. He’s not dead. Yet. Maybe he’s dreaming. Yeah. That must be it, or else there’s no way Byun Baekhyun would confess to him.

            “ Chanyeol-ah, pleasedon’tscaremeareyouokay?” He waved his hand before his eyes, reaching out his hand to help Chanyeol get up. The latter smiled widely and nodded.

                “ Just please don’t ever let this dream over,” he mumbled. He could see Baekhyun bit his lower lip, making him looked even cuter. Chanyeol felt like exploding inside.

               “ About before, just don’t mind that. I-I just want to tell you. “ Baekhyun’s eyes looked over Chanyeol’s back, face as red as  boiled prawns. Chanyeol shook his head automatically.

              “ It’s okay, I like you too. I’ve fallen in love with you, Byun Baekhyun, even since we’re kids. When the first time I saw you moving and became my neighbour, I know I’ve liked you. I know it sounds ridiculous because since when first-grader know about love? But who  cares, Baekhyun, I don’t even know what I’m saying now but yeah- I like- no- I love you.” Chanyeol pulled him into his arms. He felt warm and smell sweet like cotton candy. He hugged him back.

             “ Oh my God,” Baekhyun couldn’t help but smiled as butterflies started to fill his stomach. “ Thank you, Chanyeol-ah,” he looked up. Their eyes met. Chanyeol lowered his head-

               Heartless, mindless, shoot anonymous, anonymous, no one care about me…

               Fifteen, ten, five centi-

               Heartless, mindless, shoot anonymous, anonymous, no one care about me…

               “ Chanyeol-ah? Your phone’s ringing…” He could hear Baekhyun’s angelic voice told him. It’s not like he didn’t hear it. But, seriously? Even in his dream?

               “ Daaaamnn, the , Kris????” He cursed between his greeted teeth to the phone.

               “ Chanyeol-ah! “ The other person sounded so happy Chanyeol felt like choking him.

               “ You better call to tell me something really important or else you better prepareeee,”

               “ Say hello to your nephew, Chanyeol,”

***

             Times flies, changing everything including people. Chanyeol can’t believe the bright Kris standing with a baby in his arms now is the same cousin he used to see staring blankly at the window years ago.  

                 “ He’s so cute!” Baekhyun bends his back and the baby’s cheek.  

                 Chanyeol looks up at Kris.“ What’s his name?”

                 “ Lu Han,”