Jiyul woke up the next morning, waiting for the shuffling sounds of footsteps to approach her door as she lay in bed with her eyes shut. But after half an hour of just listening to the sounds in her surroundings, she decided to get up and find out why there was an empty silence filling the house. She peeped into the bedroom she and G.O used to share, but it was empty. And there was no one in the kitchen either. She sloppily lay on the couch in the living room, waiting for something to happen. And then her eyes landed on piece of paper sitting neatly on the coffee table, held down by the fountain pen she got G.O on their first christmas together.

On it, in small, hasty letters wrote:

Good morning, Jiyul. (:

I left for school extra early this morning. Didn't want to ruin your day, though I'm not sure this note makes a difference...
I'm sorry I won't be able to send you to school or fetch you home anymore. I put the CD you left in my player back into it's casing. It's on the little rack beside the telly...
I made you breakfast! Bacon and eggs...what you always make me on your self-proclaimed special days. I failed the first time I made them for you, and ended up saying a lot of things I didn't mean. I never apologized for that. In fact, I've never really apologized for anything I've done wrong. And that's a lot of things. I know you probably hate me for that. But I want you to know that I do feel sorry. But the words never come out right when you're standing before me. So right now, as you're lying in bed in, hopefully, sweet slumber, I'm writing this note to tell you how sorry I am for everything. And I want you to be happy again. Everyday.
So... hurry and have your breakfast! Don't want to be late for school. (:
But don't gobble it all up either. I did put in effort. Hehe...
And Jiyul ah, if I grant you your wish, will you promise to stay happy forever and ever?
You have to, alright? ^^

                                                                                                                                                                           - Byunghee


Her shoulders slumped. She let herself lean to the side, falling onto the couch in that position she had grown so comfortable in from all the nights of waiting for G.O. His letter wasn't the final farewell. It was just a peek of it. Yet that alone scared Jiyul so much. Her previous requests to break up weren't tantrums. She was serious every time. But all of a sudden she wasn't ready for it.


She reread the letter word by word, over and over, as if trying to let the information sink in little by little. She wondered...just what emotions were G.O experiencing as he so calmly wrote this. She wondered if it was as difficult for him as it was for her each time she asked for separation. She thought she was brave enough to try to put this mess to a stop. But as her eyes landed on the last smiley G.O left for her, she realised that she wasn't brave at all.

As G.O was pouring a fraction of his heart out on paper, tears welled up in his eyes. His hand trembled, causing some characters to be slightly squiggly. There was no definite goodbye in his letter because he couldn't bear to say it himself. And as he forced himself into adding that last smiley in hopes of raising Jiyul's mood, his heart ached like never before. Signing off with his real name that he missed hearing out of Jiyul's lips, he expected to have this weight in his heart be lifted. But instead, as he reread this words, his heart sank. This could really be it. G.O had never been this scared in his life.

The moment he stepped out of the front door, he wished so badly to run back in and rip that letter into a million pieces so Jiyul would never be able to read a single word he wrote. But he wanted Jiyul to be able to smile again. He wanted back the girl he fell in love with, even if it means he'll have to watch from afar and fall in love with her again and again, and only be able to chase her in his dreams. Even if it were in his dreams, he'd be contented.

Both G.O and Jiyul didn't go to school that day. G.O left the house at 6.30am and ended up spending hours just sitting around at some park. He didn't know where to go and what to do. All he knew was that he wished so badly to know how Jiyul was doing at that very moment, but he was giving it his all to resist the urge of going to her school to find her. He knew he needed to get used to not having Jiyul as a refuge. Because she wasn't going to be there whenever he needed her anymore. He had abused that luxury too much. Right now he needed to figure out his life and learn to live alone all over again.

"Yoon Jiyul, why didn't you come to class?" Inyoung asked through the phone, upset with her best friend for not informing her sooner that she was going to be absent.

"Mianhae, Inyoung. I'm not feeling well." Jiyul replied lifelessly, staring into space as she held her phone to her ear.

"Oh..." Inyoung softened after hearing Jiyul's voice so different, "Do you need me to come over? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I'm just going to rest now, alright? Bye, Inyoung. Pay attention in class." Jiyul said, trying to speak like she normally did. But it was obvious there was something really wrong. Inyoung wasn't her best friend for nothing. She knew. So instinctively, she went on to play the role of the nosy best friend who does things without anyone's consent. She called G.O. And because that haggard looking man was doing nothing but sitting on a bench with his phone in his hand, he picked up her call immediately.

"Is something going on?" Inyoung raved into the phone even before G.O could greet her. Not that he would have, anyway. But he perked up as soon as his mind started working again.

"Why? Did something happen to Jiyul? How is she?"

All the promises he made to himself about learning to live without Jiyul were instantly forgotten as he questioned Inyoung about Jiyul's wellbeing.

"How would I know? She didn't come to class today!"

His heart sank. He removed his phone from his ear, frowning as guilt swallowed him. Not bothering to answer Inyoung's questions, he stood up and went back for his car. He was going to return home, even if it means putting back his plan of learning to be independent. Because the anxiousness he felt, not knowing how Jiyul was, drove him insane.

In no time, he was back at his front door, after 5 hours of loitering at the park several roads away. As quietly as he could, he twisted the knob, pushing the door open. If Jiyul was asleep, he could still leave without being caught. That's what he was hoping for. All he wanted was to check if she was fine, and then disappear like he never came back. But his plan failed when he stopped outside their bedroom. Jiyul had her eyes closed as she lay on the bed they used to share. That sight made it impossible for him to walk away. He wanted to sneak up beside her and just lie there, forgetting the letter and everything he had planned for himself. So he did.

He slowly and carefully climbed onto the bed, settling himself beside the angelic sleeping figure. He closed his eyes for a moment, imagining himself pass through time by falling into a deep black hole. And he wished so badly, that when he opened his eyes, he would find himself back in time, on the year Jiyul first moved in. But it didn't happen. When he opened his eyes, Jiyul's eyes were still puffy, her dark eye rings still visible and the stress in her brows still present. As desperate as he was, he even took out his phone to check the date, only to laugh at himself after waking up from his silly ideas. So eventually, he decided to settle for what he had now. He admired Jiyul's features. Her eyes, her nose, her lips. For he knew that this could be the last time he got so close up. The last time he allowed himself to be only an inch apart from this beautiful face he had grown to used to seeing every morning.

"Mianhae, Jiyul..." he whispered, taking desperate breaths from his mouth as his nose clogged up and his eyes watered.

"I love you. I love you so much. I wish I could tell you that, babe, but I just can't."

"What would it take for you to take me back? What would it take for you hug me like you did again?" he breathed, clenching his fists as he resisted the urge to hold Jiyul in his arms. But when he shut his eyes tight in attempt to keep himself from trembling, he felt a warm, gentle touch on his face. He opened his eyes, surprised to see Jiyul looking back at him with a soft expression. And even through his tears, he could see the subtle smile on her lips.

For a moment there, he thought he was dreaming. In that split moment, he debated in his head, whether he'd rather it be a dream, since it could be her way of saying goodbye. But he couldn't make up his mind, since that moment, even if it did mean farewell, was too good to pass up. He rested his hand over hers, holding it against his cheek.

"Byunghee." she spoke with a quivering voice. He waited nervously for her to continue, letting his tears fall freely across his face. But instead of words, she just scooted closer to him, putting her arm around his waist and buried her face in his chest. It was a feeling G.O missed so much. And at that moment, he knew that nothing was going to make him let go.