Second In Command
Nerves

On the day of debut, Byunghee feels surprisingly calm.

Backstage it’s chaos. There are far too many bodies than should be fitting in the allotted space and they all move around constantly, bustling like ants and raising the temperature of the air by several degrees. Outside of MBLAQ, almost everyone looks the same, making it next to impossible to understand who is supposed to be talking to whom much less what room you are supposed to be in and when.

He’s the first one ready, having done this a few times before he knows how to navigate the stylists and coordinators and be ready on time. He warms up his voice in the corner for a while but that quickly gets boring so he ends up wandering around, checking on the other members progress.

 “Where’s Joon?” Seungho asks as Byunghee meanders by. “He’s the only one I haven’t seen.”

Byunghee shakes his head. He has no idea but he goes to look knowing it will save their leader time and stress if he does it. By the way the staff is fussing over the leader’s hair, Seungho’s sure to be stuck for a while and heck, he doesn’t have anything to do at the moment.

Finally with something to occupy himself, he weaves in and out of the crowd stealthily and tries to avoid his own endless entourage of coordi noonas that wield their combs and hairspray and chase him down the corridor. His hair is fine and doesn’t need any more attention than it’s already gotten.

Every so often he ducks into a side room to lose them and that, by coincidence, is how he finds their missing member.

 “You’re the last one I would have thought I’d find here,” Byunghee murmurs, as he crosses the room to the dancer who is bent over the sink, one hand white knuckled on the side and the other shakily wiping his mouth. Wetting a paper towel with cool water he dabs at the back of the dancer’s neck.

To be honest, after all the boasting and confidence shown in the dorms, he wouldn’t have pegged Changsun to be this nervous before going on stage. Cheolyong he figured might cry either before or after and Sanghyun he could see freezing up, but Lee Joon? Except that this kid always been sort of neurotic so in some weird way it’s not that far of a stretch if he really thinks about it.

“Hyung, don’t tell anyone,” the younger male whispers quietly.

“That you’re nervous? We all are. I thought Mir was going to wet his pants on the way here,” he jokes, trying to lighten the situation but it doesn’t seem to do much. Changsun simply stands and straightens his outfit looking slightly less pale. He repeats the plea with his eyes.

“I won’t,” Byunghee promises. He decides to give the kid the benefit if the doubt considering it’s the debut stage. In his mind he settles on the fact that if moments like this become a frequent habit he’ll bring it up to Seungho but for now it’s just one small moment of insecurity that’s not worth embarrassing the younger over.  “Let’s go,” he murmurs, catching sight of the clock on the wall and realizing how long they’ve been standing there.

Pushing through the crowded halls, they return just in time to get looks from both Rain and Seungho. It’s striking the resemblance in which the leader echoes their mentor’s no-nonsense attitude under pressure.

They begin their ascent with jittery hands. Seungho leads the way, and if he’s nervous Byunghee can’t see it in his body- not as much as he can with the others anyways. In front of him he can see the shadowed outline of the two youngest’s shoulders shaking slightly as they take each stair.

Halfway to their destination, the fear he sees in the other members hits him like a brick wall. He completely freezes on the side of the stage, just two steps off the stairs. His breath catches in his throat and everything stops, the sound of the crowd roaring ten times louder than usual in his ears. Blinking, he finds himself watching his group mates running out to take their places but he can’t seem to force his legs to move.

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” is the whisper that breaks the cacophony of noise in his rattled brain. It’s Changsun and he’s nudging him forward gently. “You can do this hyung.”

Moving slowly, the feeling returning to his limbs as he ambles on stage, G.O. knows his dongsaeng is correct.

He can do this.
They can do this.

***

Sorry I haven't updated in a while.
Job searching and finishing up my last class has taken up all my time... :/

But I hope you enjoyed this chapter- welcome to any new subscribers!
Feedback is loved (and even suggestions/criticisms!)

Thanks for reading!