Yuri and Jessica have been best friends since forever. They have always been called the ‘Yulsic’ couple as they are always seen hanging out together and acting in a seemingly coupl-ish way. However, today the ‘Yulsic’ couple will lose one of them as Yuri will after today become Mrs. Jo, wife of a humble yet charming man, Mr. Jo In Sung.

Jessica was staring at her best friend’s stunning beauty in the wedding dress.

“Yuri, you look stunning.”

“I do, don’t I? Sica, could you help me to pull the zip? I cannot reach the bottom of it.”

“You are so full of yourself. I really wonder if In Sung oppa was in the right mind when he asked for your hand.” Jessica went behind Yuri to help her with her dress.

“Cos I am beautiful, y, smart, diligent, kind, caring…”

“Shut up already. So what’s your honeymoon plan?”

“In Sung Oppa said we are going on a cruise to Atlanta.  It’s going to be a month-long trip. I can’t wait to board the luxurious ship. Sica, you know I can help but to think that we are going to have a romantic time like Jack and Rose.”

“Jack and Rose?”

“YAH! Titanic! Blur case.”

“Oh….. so you will be gone for a month.” Jessica’s mood suddenly changed to despair as she will miss her best friend so much.

Yuri could sense in the change of Jessica’s mood so she tried to change topic.

“Sica, have you seen the best men? Any potential candidate?” Yuri gave a naughty wink to Jessica.

“Yeah, seen a couple of them. No, not interested at all.”

“Come on, Sica. You need to get out there. You are so beautiful and kind, I don’t understand why you want to shove all the guys away.”

“Easy answer to that. I don’t need them. I can live happily by myself.”

Yuri well knew the answer but she tried to at least get Jessica to open up and perhaps getting into a relationship would help. It should be Yuri’s happiest day and yet she knew part of her was pretending to be so. She slowly walked to the couch where Jessica was sitting and placed her hand on top of Jessica’s.

“Sica, I do not want you to stay alone forever. I know what you are thinking but…..” Before Yuri could finish her sentence, Jessica butted in.

“Don’t. Don’t say anything further. Don’t make it any harder for yourself and me.” Jessica looked away. “I think I will go out to see if Mrs. Kwon needs any help to sit the guests.” Jessica stood up.

Just before Jessica could turn the door knob, Yuri pulled her by her wrist not allowing Jessica to leave. “No, don’t leave. Stay here with me.” Jessica was forced to sit with Yuri again on the couch.

Yuri held Jessica’s hand tightly not wanting to let go.

“What are you doing, Yuri?”

“Are you playing tricks on me again?”

“I know you are hurt. I want to let you know that I am very sorry.”

“Then don’t hurt me further. Let me go.”

Yuri moved her hands to cup Jessica’s face. Slowly she rested her forehead on Jessica’s.

“Sorry for not having the courage to love you. Sorry for not having the courage to tell everyone that I am in love with you. Sorry for…” A precious tear slowly rolled down the cheek of the bride. Jessica then pulled away.

“Me too. I am sorry that you are sorry. There’s nothing we can do about this now. Can we move on?” Jessica coldly responded as she promised herself before attending the event that she will NOT shed a tear or feel sorry for herself.

“How can I when you haven’t?”

Jessica suppressed her emotions. “Yuri, what do you expect me to do? Am I not doing enough already? Did I not agree to be your bridesmaid even though you knew damn well that I hate it?”

“If me going out there and start making out with one of the ‘hot’ best men will make you happier, fine, I will do it for my ‘best friend’s’ sake!” Jessica attempted to walk out again.

This time Yuri harshly pulled Jessica away from the door and locked it. She then turned around to hug Jessica while mumbling “No….no…no.”

“…” Jessica’s brain was telling her to break free from Yuri’s embrace but her heart was not listening. Jessica had a strange feeling that that would be the last time she could feel the warmth of Yuri which she missed very much.

“Sica, please believe that I love you. You were my first and will be the last. I gave you my everything but I cannot give you my hand.”

“I am too weak to fight for us.”

“Yuri, I believe you and I love you too. We had had too many of these conversations. Let’s not talk about it anymore. Today is your big day, I do not want to ruin it.” Jessica finally pulled away.

“Haha, look at you, bride. Your make-up is so messed up. Let’s fix it before In Sung oppa sees you and dumps you.”

“Sica, please be happy.” Yuri out of a sudden pulled Jessica and kissed her on her lips. The kiss was lovingly tender, passionate yet not rough but also with a hint of sadness. Jessica was shocked but responded to the kiss as it’s the lips that she had longed for.

*knock knock* “Yuri, Jessica. Are you girls ready? The guests are arriving already.” Mrs. Kwon shouted from the other side of the door startling the Yulsic couple who pulled away from each other immediately.

“Yes, Omma. Coming!”

“Yuri, come here! Quickly redo your make up.” Yuri sat down without any hesitation and Jessica straight away picked up the make up tools and worked her magic. Jessica also took the opportunity to whisper into Yuri’s ear. “I am happy as long as you are.”

The wedding went ahead smoothly albeit with Yulsic couple stealing glances at each other.

After the wedding, Yuri and her husband boarded the cruise. Jessica and Yuri did not see each other since the wedding. They did not even speak as a mutual understanding seemed to exist between them that ‘some things are best left unsaid’.

Yuri finally returned from her honeymoon, feeling ecstatic! After spending the morning with her in-laws and her own family, she rushed to a place which once her ‘second home’, Jessica’s apartment. Yuri was excited to see her best friend since she missed Jessica so much and she could not wait to tell Jessica of her experience on the cruise.

*ding dong, ding dong* No one answered the door.

“Sica, open up! It’s Yuri!” Yuri repeated while banging the door.

The door finally opened. Yuri without even looking at the person, jumped and hugged the shocked girl.

“Sica, I miss you so much. I got you a lot of souvenirs, I am sure you will love all of them.”

“Err… Yuri, it’s Tiffany.”

Hearing that, Yuri quickly pulled away and felt embarrassed. “Sorry, Tiffany. I am looking for Sica, is she in?”

“No, she’s not but come in. I have something for you.”

Yuri was surprised as she wondered why Tiffany wanted to give her something. Tiffany went into her room and returned almost immediately, holding something.

“Jess left the country two weeks ago. She went back to US. She asked me to pass you this.” Tiffany then handed Yuri a wooden box.

“Huh? How come? She never mention this to me. Why did she leave before telling me? Is she coming back?”

“I don’t know. She said you will know once you open that thing.” Tiffany pointed at the box indicating to Yuri to open it.

“Okay…….” Yuri was dazed. “I should go. Thank you, Tiffany.”

“You are welcome.” Tiffany opened the door for Yuri.

Yuri sat in her car, still trying to make out why Jessica left so suddenly. She stared at the box and had an uneasy feeling. She slowly opened it.

There was a letter with her name on it. She unfolded the letter.

My love, Yuri,

I am sorry that I have to leave without letting you know. I decided to return to US to be with my family ….. for good.

I love you so much that it hurts. I couldn’t stop thinking of you. Everywhere I go, it reminds me of our time together. We have been through so much together and I am really grateful that you are always beside me through ups and downs. But we could never overcome the last hurdle. I have accepted that but it does not mean I can forget.

I am happy that you were my first in everything. You were my first love, you were my first kiss and you were the first person I made love with. I do not regret any of it, I am hoping you won’t too. I was really jealous of In Sung Oppa when he took your hand on your wedding day. I was madly wishing that the person to whom you said ‘I Do’ was me but it will never be a realizable dream.

Yuri, I sure do wish we could turn back time and that nothing had happened between us so that we could stay best friends. But after all that, I can’t. I really can’t, Yuri. I am sorry that I cannot be by your side anymore. I hope you and In Sung Oppa will love each other and be happy. I want you to be happy. I do not want to be the reason for the precious droplets from your eyes.

I want you to know that I will always love you, Yuri. We have always been more than friends, less than lovers. And never will be.

Love always, Jessica.

P.S. Do not look for me if you really love me.

Tears unstoppably flowed from Yuri’s eyes. Indescribable heartache.

The radio as if God’s work started to play ‘Sweet Memories’ and it sounded almost like Jessica singing to Yuri. While listening, Yuri looked into the box and found a ring beneath the envelope. She took the ring. The inside of the ring had the words engraved on it, ‘I Love You’.

natsukashii itamidawa
(it's a pain that lied in my memory)

zutto mae ni wasureteita
(that I did not remember for a long time)

demo anata wo mita toki
(But when I saw you)

jikan dake atomodori a no
(only the time went backward)

"Shiawase?" to kikanaide
(Don't ask me, "happy?" )

uso wo tsuku nowa jouzujanai
(I am not good at telling a lie)

tomodachi nara irukedo
(Although I have friends)

anna niwa moeagarenakute
(I could not have that much passion)

ushinatta yume dakega
utsukushiku mieru nowa
naze kashira
(I wonder why only the lost dreams look beautiful)

sugisatta yasashisa mo ima wa
amai kioku
(sweet memories)

Sweet memories
Don't kiss me baby we can never be
So don't add more pain
Please don't hurt me again
I have spent so many nights
Thinking of you longing for your touch
I have once loved you so much

anokoro wa wakasugite
(We were too young back then)

itazura ni kizu tsukeatta futari
(Two of us hurt each other without vain)

iro aseta kanashimi mo ima wa
tooi kioku
(The faded sadness is already a memory of long time ago)

Olivia Ong-Sweet Memories