Lu Han

Kris doesn't seem to be annoyed at my lack of responses or my lack of knowhow, when it comes to having friends. Kris doesn't ask a million questions. And that stupid bully of mine hasn't even stepped foot towards me. Even I'm a little intimidated by Kris' height and body shape. If he wasn't my friend now I'd expect him to be pounding on me or something.

"Lu Han?" The door creaked open and in popped his head. "Are you busy?" I guess he didn't see the piles of paperwork sitting on my desk. Not to mention the open books scattered on the floor around me. I gestured to the Advanced Algebra book sitting under my hands. "You actually study?" He slumped down next to me on the floor. He snatched the highlighter out from my fingers.

He slid it under his leg so I didn't even attempt to grab for it. I pulled another one out but he took that one too and hid it with the other. All I wanted to do today was study to pass my tests and now I can't even get that done. Kris is distracting without even trying. His voice, laugh, and stance were all intriguing and would often make it difficult, for me to even think around him.

"Give yourself a rest. You work to hard already." He tried to slam the book shut but I pulled it away from him. "Give me the book." He tried to get it again but I closed and slipped it under my stomach. He smirked but he wouldn't dare try to get it would he? He knows how much i dislike being touched there.

Very quickly his hands slid under me and gripped the edges of the book. But instead of trying to pull it away again he tried to tickle me. As his hands pressed into my side a very unmanly giggle escaped and he stopped for a moment. "Ah~ That was cute." He pinched my cheek as I tried to turn away. His hand remained on my face.

His eyes. They were a sight to behold and man did they know how to hold me. Did he give up that easily? When he started leaning closer to my face I flinched out of instinct. "Got it!" He mused and held the math textbook up in front of my face. How the hell did that happen? He stood up with it and glared down at me. "Your easily distracted."

He flipped the book open and grabbed a page. He was holding it like he was going to- no he wouldn't tear the book. I jumped up and knocked the book out his hands. "Yah!" I yelled even startling myself. His face lit up more and he handed the book back to me and moved over to the bed. "My plan worked finally." Plan? What plan was he speaking of?

I raised my eyebrows at him as he spread out on my bed. "You don't talk, I get it. But I like your voice so I annoyed you to the point, you couldn't stay quiet." So that was his game this whole time, I knew something had to be up. I wasn't gonna give him the satisfaction of hearing me speak again. How dare he manipulate my tolerance.

He was just rolling the bed laughing at something only he seemed to know. "Your face- oh now that is funny." He pointed at me and rolled towards the wall, still laughing. I slammed the book down on the floor and he stopped momentarily. I took long strides to the door and swung it open. He just sat up and blinked at me. I gestured for him to leave. Did he not get it that I wanted to get work done?

"You want me to leave?" I just nodded at his bewildered expression. "Lu Han," He started and moved towards me not the door. "I'm sorry I obviously upset you." He bowed and was prepared to walk out the door. I couldn't help but reach out for him. I ended up grabbing his shirt and pulling him back to me.

"Uh... Lu Han?" He stumbled backwards when my arms were around his waist. "Short stuff can't stay mad at me." He chuckled and rubbed my shoulder and what was with the name calling all of a sudden? "Short stuff can let go now~" Has he adapted a new pet name for me or was there something I was missing? I mean he's a giant, but not too much taller than me.

His hands were just hovering behind me not really returning the hug, which I didn't appreciate. I had alot to say to him and there never seemed to be a right time. He was either busy, distracted or just generally not around. "Is there something bothering you, short stuff?" I wish I could tell him to stop calling me that. It was really irritating me more.

"Lu Han I know you can speak." Well state the obvious Mr. I'm-going-to-get-on Lu Han's-bad-side. I've been unsure of my feeling since that day he saved me from almost freezing to death. "Kris." It was barely a whisper and I'm sure he barely heard me anyways. "W-what do yo-you think about m-me?" My voice was crackily and I sounded so sick.

"I think your a nice kid." Damn I was older than him how dare he call me a kid all non-chalantly. "Your quiet and not annoying. You don't pester me like I pester you, and you can tolerate my lame jokes. Your a great friend." Friend? So that was I was to him. That's all this was between us.... a friendship. That made my stomach churn for some reason.

"What do you think of me?" There was silence as I contemplated whether I should tell him the truth or what would sound better. "I-I like you K-Kris." I mumbled into his chest hoping he didn't catch any of it. He shut the door and walked with me backwards towards the bed. He tried to pry away from me but I didn't want him to leave. Had I said the wrong thing?

"I like you too, short stuff." He ruffled my hair. I'm forever doomed to stay in the friend zone aren't I? He's never gonna feel anything more for me, it was a hopeless pipe dream.

"I don't wanna be your friend." It slipped and it sounded so bad. I didn't mean it like he probably took it, God I hope he doesn't think I'm trying to get rid of him. "What do you wanna be?" His arms finally fell around my waist but not as tight as I would have liked. The only answer I had for him was to lean up closer to his face. "Wha-" But I shut him up with a chastized kiss.

It only lasted the amount of time it took to blink but it dragged out forever. When I pulled away his face was unreadable and flushed. I mad a mistake once again. I let him go and pushed away from him. "S-so-rry!" I squeeled and bolted for the door. He's probably disgusted with me or something because he might not even be gay. I might have been getting mixed vibes from him.

"Lu Han wait!" But I ignored him and sprinted down the hallway. Nearly face planting down the steep stiars as I took them by twos, I made it to the door by the time he was at the top of the staircase. "Lu Han!" He yelled again but I just kept running. I can't turn around and face him like this. I looked up but it wasn't raining. And that's when I knew I ahd started crying.

I didn't hear him behind me but I had to keep running. Even if my feet hurt because I was bare foot I had to keep moving. The farther away I get from Kris the better, right? He'll forget any of this ever happened and I can move on from him. It'll go back to like before we met. I'd be the lonely outcast and he'd be the gorgeous school prince.

Kris

He was already out of sight by the time I got out of the building. Why did he seem so upset by what happened? It's not like I completely hated it or anything. Maybe it was a mistake and he doesn't like me like that or something. I pulled out my phone and dialed his number. I knew it by heart but I could barely remember my home number.

It just rang and rang and didn't even go to voicemail. I tried texting him but decided against it. I trudged back to his room and slammed the door shut. I'd wait for him to come back. He'd have to come back for his boooks and a change of clothes not to mention his shoes. I kicked mine off and stretched out on his bed. My hand hit something under the pillow.

When I pulled it out it was a book. It was about half the size of a normal book and covered in velt. It's a diary, I know because my sister had one. It'd probably make him even madder to know I went through it, so I jsut sat it back under the pillow. I wonder what he write in there. Song lyircs maybe? Or maybe the thoughts he's scared to say out loud.

I wonder if there's anything about me in there. The curiousity finally got to me and I pulled out the diary and flipped it to the first page. I just scanned it for any mention of my name. I stopped scanning when I spotted a paragraph that wrenched my stomach a little. It was talking about his ex-boyfriend. And how he had been forced to have with him.

The next few pages were littered with scribblings about and hatred towards his ex. Is that why he hates to be touched in certain ways? I just stared at the page for a while. How could someone do this to him? He seemed so willing to let me get close to him, just to pull away. He might be too scared to do anything with me because of what his boyfriend did. These were his private thoughts I was reading.

My name was on the next page in bold characters. 'Kris Wu. I met him a couple days ago. He's so loud and noisy and nosy. He's outgoing and kind and seems like a great guy.' That was sweet of him to say. 'Kris says we can be better friends. But I'm inexperienced, what if I mess up?' 'I think he thinks he's almighty or something.' 'Kris is a good guy and i should've given him a chance from the beginning.'

On the next page was a list of worries. 'What if I disappoint my family? My mother would be so upset if I flunk out fo school.' 'I need to pass these exams. I can't afford to loose  my scholarship. I worked too hard for it.' 'What if Kris realizes I'm a terrible person to be around and dtiches me? What will I do then?' 'Why won't the suicide thoughts go away?'

I didn't know he was on a scholarship. I felt kind of bad about almost destroying his school book. If he was that worried about me leaving him why did he run away from me. The thought of him thinking about suicide made me cringe inwardly. "What are you doing?" I nearly jumped off the bed at the voice in the room. Lu Han was standing in front of me panting and sweating.

"How dare you read this!" He ripped the book from my hands and slid it across the wooden floor and under the desk. "I-I... it was an accident." I stammered and stood up but he shoved me back down onto the bed. "An accident, Kris? How do you accidently pry into someone's personal space?!" His yelling voice was scarier than mine would ever be.

"It was jsut there. I promise I didn't read most of it." "How much of it did you read?" He was starting to pant alot more than when he barged in. "Kris!" He yelled and snapped his fingers in front of my face. "Only the beginning pages, I swear." His face just grew darker. "S-so you saw about Baojio?" Who the hell was he talking about? "Who?"

"My ex! Baojio!" Oh the ..... "I know about him." He looked like he was going to cry and that just added to the guilt. "Kris why would you do this?" And let the sobs begin. "Lu Han its not that big of a deal." At least to me it wasn't but to him it seemed like the world was crashing down. "It's a huge deal!" He squeeled and sobs shortly followed.

"But why didn't you tell me," I swallowed the lump in my throat. "How you feel about me?" And if it was possible his face grew darker. "Are you kidding me? Your so high and mighty and I'm just a loser." The way he hugged himself is how I should be holding him. "How am I high and mighty?" 

"I don't know, okay? You just are." He sighed and wiped at his face. "Oh Lu Han you idiot." I pulled him down into my lap and once again his smaller arms wrapped around me. "I-I thought y-you we-were disgusted that I-I kissed you." He sobbed into my shoulder. I wasn't gonna lie to him, "I liked it." A smile broke out on my face that I couldn't hide for anything.