Chapter 14

At 7 in the morning, Kyuhyun’s alarm clock went off. Kyuhyun hadn’t slept anymore at all that night, so the alarm clock only woke up a finally peaceful sleeping Jongwoon. It might sound harsh, but Kyuhyun had to work, and he knew he could no longer let Jongwoon sleep on his own, as long as he still threw up every few hours. That is one thing that Kyuhyun learned the hard way that night. But Kyuhyun didn’t have the heart to wake him up himself, so therefore he abused his alarm clock to do it for him.

  Kyuhyun helped Jongwoon downstairs to the couch, since the latter was still feeling awful. After that, Kyuhyun joined Hyukjae and Donghae, who were already up, at the dining table in the kitchen. Donghae, as the good friend he is, could immediately tell that Kyuhyun had something on his mind. That the night had been harder than usual on Kyuhyun.   “Tough night?” he asked, Kyuhyun only nodded at the question. Donghae saw this as a sign to leave Kyuhyun alone for a little. If Kyuhyun only nodded, not starting a proper conversation, he just needed some time before opening up. Hyukjae, on the other hand, didn’t have the understand-Kyuhyun’s-feelings skill.   “What happened?” Kyuhyun looked up from his plate of morning-breakfast and beamed a dead-glare towards Hyukjae. As told before, Kyuhyun needs his 8 hours of sleep each night. If he doesn’t get it, he gets in a terrible mood. And the fact that he didn’t sleep for 8 hours, because of Jongwoon nearly dying, did not make his mood any better. He just needed a few worriless minutes before he could talk about it. As Kyuhyun glared towards Hyukjae he could see the worry in Hyukjae’s eyes. Kyuhyun’s glare instantly softened and he turned his eyes away.   A few minutes later Kyuhyun told Hyukjae and Donghae what had happened. Hyukjae totally freaked out and Donghae had a hard time keeping him under control. He started to breath really weird, as if he couldn’t get any oxygen out of the air. He threw his cup, with still some warm tea left in it, on the ground and started screaming, saying he was angry at Kyuhyun because he didn’t wake him up. Shortly after that, he suddenly started crying. Saying that he felt useless, that he could not help Jongwoon if the latter needed him. After that he suddenly stopped crying and came up with some weird ideas. Ideas that, for example, Jongwoon should just never sleep again and stay awake for the rest of his life. When he realized that that wasn’t going to work, he grabbed the phone and called the doctor. Kyuhyun and Donghae just stared at Hyukjae and tried to follow the conversation he had on the phone with the doctor. But Hyukjae talked so fast, that it was really impossible to understand. They suddenly respected the doctor for actually being able to respond to Hyukjae. When Hyukjae hung up the phone, he ignored the 2 people still sitting at the dining table sending him questioning looks as he walked towards the living room where Jongwoon was.   “Well...” Kyuhyun started when Hyukjae was out of sight, Donghae looked up towards him. “That was almost as scary as last night.”   Donghae chuckled a little, but restrained. As if he knew it was inappropriate to laugh about it. He could barely imagine how that night must have been for Kyuhyun. And even though Donghae tried to be the strongest out of the 3 of them, he too felt scared. But it’s not that he could show that right now, his friends needed him to be strong.   “They’ll both be fine,” Donghae said reassuringly to Kyuhyun, patting him on the back before following Hyukjae towards the living room. Kyuhyun sighed and tried to eat some breakfast before getting ready for work.     ✭✭✭✭✭     When Hyukjae had called the doctor to tell him about Jongwoon’s near death-experience, the doctor suggested that Jongwoon could sleep over at the hospital any time he wanted. The doctors and nurses could keep an eye on him, so he would be in good hands.   But, of course, Jongwoon declined. He predicted that the chances of it happening again where this small, that it was safe enough for him to just sleep at home. Besides, Kyuhyun was with him all night. He also said that if it was his time to go, it was his time to go, there was no escaping from that. If he could choose he’d rather die in his own comfort zone, meaning at home, than at the hospital. He didn’t really consider the pressure it would put on Kyuhyun, he didn’t consider that Kyuhyun probably would never be able to sleep if Jongwoon was being sick again. But Kyuhyun understood his reasons and so he accepted Jongwoon’s decision without discussion.   Hyukjae did discuss about it with Jongwoon for a little, but Jongwoon just ignored him. Eventually, when Hyukjae noticed that discussing wasn’t bringing him anywhere, he told Jongwoon that he should do whatever he felt was right, though, Hyukjae also told him that he thought it was a stupid idea and that Jongwoon should think about his health a little more.   Jongwoon’s throwing up continued for another night and day until it settled down. After that, Kyuhyun could finally sleep peacefully again. It did cross his mind that he might be incapable of ever sleeping again, whether Jongwoon was sick or not, but fortunately he was wrong. Or maybe he was just too exhausted of a few sleepless nights, that his mind stopped working and worrying for a bit.   When Kyuhyun’s mind finally processed the whole event, he could refocus on his schoolwork. He had exams coming up in a few weeks, and because this was his final year he really couldn’t screw them up. He had been a decent student this far, but if he didn’t study hard enough, he would surely fail.   That is why Hyukjae joined Jongwoon to radiation therapy the week after the 9th chemo session. Kyuhyun just really needed as much hours as possible for studying and Jongwoon said he understood.   It was always difficult to see Jongwoon get home from radiation therapy. He would always instantly take of his shirt, but not to please anyone with the looks. His shirt, how loose it may be, would hurt him even more. Somehow even the tiniest touch on his back hurt like hell, even though the spot the therapy was aimed at was covered in bandage. After, they would take off the bandage and the poor boy would hiss in pain, people close by could almost literally feel his pain too. But he didn’t do that this time. This time, he came home, walked towards Kyuhyun as painless-looking as he could (Kyuhyun could still tell it was giving him a hard time though), gave him a kiss on the cheek, wished him well with studying, said everything went fine and went upstairs. Kyuhyun was slightly taken aback by that. Hyukjae instantly went upstairs as well though, so Kyuhyun knew they would do the normal process upstairs now. Though, it was the gesture that counted. Maybe Jongwoon felt guilty towards Kyuhyun and wanted to let Kyuhyun know he supported him too, that it was not a one-sided support. The gesture sure made Kyuhyun feel a little warmer inside as he continued his studying.   The next 3 weeks was pretty much filled with Kyuhyun learning and working, Hyukjae working, Donghae working, Jongwoon visiting friends after his back felt a little better again, and the 4 of them trying to do stuff with each other as much as they could. Then Jongwoon’s 10th chemo came up. It was again Hyukjae joining him to the hospital, Kyuhyun’s exams were only a few days after it, so he really needed the free extra