She wasn’t sure where to go, a tired girl who kept on running away from the pain she felt. The feeling of being alone was surrounding her vivid heart, again, like how her parents left her, without anything to hold on to. Matsumoto Rei, who had been trying not to give up on love even if it doesn’t really fit the fact that she had been through hell and back when it comes to it. She told herself not to love someone when they aren’t worth it, but she couldn’t help herself on falling in love with a boy who managed to break her world apart. It was funny to think that everything had been perfect, the two of them started to be friends, they had their own mutual understanding, felt something deep inside that was itching to get out from, and eventually, fell in love. It was beautiful, their love was beautiful enough to survive for three and a half years. Both of them knew that they were the ones for the other, both of them felt the feeling they have never felt before, both of them really had fallen head over heels in love with each other.

 

The things is, he had a dreadful disease, a disease that took away his heart, took away the most important organ in his life, Kanata Hongo has a terminal heart disease. The sad fact is, Rei didn’t knew anything about it.

 

Betrayal, empty, being alone were the first feelings she felt, until she felt the most frightful emotion of all, pain. She should have been used to it, everyone left her when she was still a child. She was raised by a person who she wasn’t even related to, she was raised by a person who was paid for her whole life to take care of her. Inoue Mao, a joyful, petite woman who acts like her own sister. Took care of her after her parent’s death, lives with her, stays by her side, she acted like a good father and a caring mother, she’s the only family she has, until she met Kanata, until she found out about his condition, until she felt entirely alone, again, like the first time.

 

Living on the same position she was before, she felt like she was better off alone. Better off living by herself, besides, everyone leaves her, they would care, for some point, but in the end, they leave.

 

“There you are.” A familiar voice struck her ears, Rei was puzzled and somehow moved on how she could read whatever it is which was on her vivid mind. Mao, like the best sister a person could ever ask for, she was there, behind her, while Rei, on the other hand was sitting on her favorite seat at her favorite place, the park. The breeze of the cold wind strikes on her skin as if it was something they are fond of, her eyes were just stable, as if it was attached to the ground. She wouldn’t even dare to move, though, the tears in her eyes kept on pouring.

 

She could feel Mao move in front of her, but she still doesn’t dare to move her eyes up to meet hers, she wasn’t really sure why, but there’s one thing that she knows, and it’s not to bother anyone, anymore. She was tired, she knew she was, from everything, the exhaustion was visible in her face but she couldn’t do anything about it. How could she, she’s just Matsumoto Rei, a girl who has a fortune for her whole life but couldn’t figure out why she feels so empty inside.

 

“Rei, please, don’t torture yourself like this. I’m here, remember?” Mao said, as she knelt down in front of Rei, cupping her face before caressing it, softly as she could, gently as it could ever be.

 

“I know that, Mao.” Rei replied, holding Mao’s right hand before collapsing herself in the older girl’s body and pulled her for a tight hug. “But he won’t be coming back.”

 

“Kanata won’t be coming back.”

 

The best way to end a day was to know that the only person who she trusted the most, she loved the most, more than herself, is gone, and he won’t be coming back, even if he wanted to.

 

It was supposed to be a heartwarming visit. She was supposed to tell him not to give up, she was supposed to let him feel how she would be if he isn’t there anymore. They were supposed to spend their last moments together, but all of that were forgotten after she heard a single beep. Indicating that his life was taken by a machine she didn’t even bother to look at before. Rei was taken aback from the situation she wasn’t really prepared to face. She could still remember the time when they were walking in the sand, the beach has a romantic ambiance around, they both love it.

 

They felt infinite.

 

Love,

 

What the hell is love, anyways?

 

Why do we all need it?

 

Why do people tend to be vulnerable just to feel the wonders of love?

 

Is love really a wonderful feeling to feel?

 

How about the pain that would literally be around, would it still be wonderful even if someone would be in pain in the end? Would it still be the best feeling in world when someone has to suffer the wrath of being alone, feeling empty, even if it wasn’t their choice to be?

 

For Rei, everything seems to be stupid now. Everything doesn’t make sense anymore. Everything wouldn’t come back to the way they used to be, even if she wished for it, even if she wanted it so badly. The only thing in the world that is worth the risk and reason to be alive, was gone, and he will never come back.

 

“Here, have a drink. You look like a zombie.” Mao chuckled as she held a nice cup of strawberry milk in her hands. It’s funny to think how she could manage to chuckle when the girl who she kept on trying to smile wouldn’t budge.

 

It has been days since Kanata’s death, and everything seems to be crashing down. Sure, Rei had lived her life for sixteen years without him by her side, she only had Mao, but for the last three of her nineteen years of living, she knew that she couldn’t survive again, without him. Dramatic, for some, but it’s the truth, for her. Was she really worth the love he had given her. It was unconditional, she knew, but he left her, even if he promised not to. She couldn’t blame him, of course, how could she, she still loves him and still wonders how she could possibly live her remaining years on the ground without him. To find another one, who could be her reason to smile, to laugh, and be the reason for her to live her every day with a tiny hint of happiness lingering on her face.

 

She wouldn’t dare.

 

For the past few days of mourning, she finally had given up on love.

 

She had given up on the happiness she feels whenever the hyperventilation occurs, just by seeing someone who had managed to capture her heart. The feeling of awfully hyper whenever he’s around. The feeling of trying to get the goose bumps out of her own skin, the feeling of her blood rushing through her cheeks, the way her lips curve for a wonderful smile whenever she sees her significant other, the way she let out a nice warm laugh for them to share, the feeling of that magnificent kiss, the warmth of a hug, she had given up on it all.

 

“Thanks, Mao. I knew that I could always count on you.” Rei said, caressing the cup she has in hand, thinking of those wonderful memories she and Kanata had shared before, but soon, she shook her head, trying to efface the feeling of being empty inside away from where she is. She doesn’t want to be vulnerable again, no, that’s the last thing she needs right now.

 

Mao sat next to her, looked at her sternly, trying to figure out what happened to the Rei who was usually smiling, laughing, the little girl who she took care, the Rei who wasn’t afraid of saying whatever it is that’s on her mind. The minute that she was getting teary, she knew that it wouldn’t really do a thing. She pulled her for a hug, a sisterly hug, began her hair, mumbling soft words near her ear, for her to know that she will always be there if she ever needed someone to hold on to.

 

But the only reply she receive was,

 

“I’ve been through this before, and it wouldn’t hurt if I go through this again.” Rei said as she pulled out, grabbed the camera she received on her birthday a year before, right after Kanata told her that she could be a great photographer someday.

 

Tears were starting to form in her eyes and she knew that she needs to get out from where she was. She began walking to nowhere, like what she did before, like what she did whenever she feels the same kind of pain she usually feel. Rei knew that Mao wouldn’t really follow her, giving her a time for her own. To think of those things, like what could have been, what might have been, if Kanata was still alive.

 

Her knees broke into a soft whimper when she suddenly collapsed near an abandoned playground. She wasn’t really sure if it was still in Tokyo district but she doesn’t care. She was already exhausted, she kept on walking and eventually ran, until her knees give into the temptation of taking its rest. She didn’t mind, she doesn’t want to end up in the hospital. It was one of her last promises to Kanata, not to die after him.

 

“Hmm.” She heard a whimper near her, near to her right where there was a smoke, all of a sudden. Rei stood up, kicking her legs to ease the coming numbness before proceeding to where the smoke was.

 

All she could see was white, and red. As soon as the smoke suffice to match her eyes, she soon realized that it was a person, a little boy, wearing a white polo shirt with a hint of dust because of his impact on the ground, with matching red pants. She didn’t bother looking at his shoes, as she immediately knelt down to help him stand. He was coughing, coughing enough for her to know that he was a man.

 

“Are you alright?” She asked, helping him dust himself from the dust he had managed to take. The boy nodded, rubbing, ruffling his hair to get the dust away from it.

 

“Yes, I’m alright, thank you.” He smiled, bowing to her. He could have read the question by the emotion shown to her face as he soon told her that he has a mission to do, and to do that, he needs someone to help him. She believed that, no doubt on it, and she even told him that she would help him, whatever it was. But his last remark make her think the otherwise.

 

“I need to find my lost arrow, to get my wings and to get back to Cupid’s lair.” He said, he was about to tell her things but she began laughing.

 

“Cupid’s lair, are you serious?” she asked, laughing still. The first time she laughed after the horrible incident occurred few days ago. Her soul was replenished by the crazy thought she soon realized that was real.

 

The boy took a little bow from his back pocket, placed inside a little silver box. As soon as he pulled the bow from the silver velvet box, it sprang a normal sized bow. He pulled the string, revealing a nearly invisible shiny silver arrow, even if he haven’t placed one. “I’m a cupid in training, you see, and I have missions that I need to pass. These mini missions would lead me to the main mission, which is getting the golden arrow and strike it to the person who deserves it. Who deserves eternal love.”

 

leaped open, couldn’t quite believe that those cupids in the ancient myths were true, yet alone speaking to one. Rei held her forehead, trying take everything in, while the boy, sat next to her and held her hand. “I promise, I’ll give you one wish if you help me with my missions.” He asked her.

 

It sunk in, the thought of wishing Kanata to be brought back to life lingered inside of her head, she shot back up, staring at those bright brown orbs that the boy have. “Sure, little one.” She said, ruffling his hair, believing to a phrase that nothing really is impossible when you believe.

 

“I’m not a boy. I’m actually older than you.” He said, before he stood up and went in front of her while the grin on his face didn’t really left.

 

“Yo—“ she was taken aback, once again, as the little boy turned into a man, a man who looks older than she is, with just a single fast twirl, the little boy turned into a man.

 

She closed her eyes, smiling on the thought that everything had been really crazy, one minute she was mourning, the next, she had given up on love, then the irony came back to her as soon as she found a cupid near the abandoned park her feet dragged her to.

 

“Enough, I’m going to help you. I’m sure that you don’t have a house to stay in, so you can stay in mine, in one condition.” She said, pulling herself next to him.

 

“What is it?” He immediately asked.

 

“Tell me your name. So I could finally address you properly.”

 

The man chuckled and held his hand out.

 

“Kei, Kei Inoo.”