I gently blow the dust off the tombstone and place a bouquet of white roses on the green grass with a forced smile. It is her favorite. The white rose. I can still remember how her eyes sparkled whenever I give her a white rose on our date. Purity. That's what she thinks the rose symbolize. I remember how she told me that white was the colour of heaven, of the angels. However, I feel that it symbolizes something else- silence. That was how she left. In silence. Without a single word.

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{Flashback}

"Jinki! Stop it! You will waste her effort!" I halted. "She donated her heart to you so that you could LIVE." Min Ji exclaimed. 

"But what makes you think I like that? Liking the fact that the heart inside of me is not my very own but the heart of Min Young? The girlfriend who died because of me? I hate living a single day without her. What do you expect me to do?!" 

"Jinki! Get hold of yourself, will you?" Min Ji tried fumbling for the knife. 

Then I remembered. I remember how she told me that if one of us is to live, she would sacrifice herself. Because that was how great love was, how much she love me.  "But I can't do it... I can't live without Min Young, she's my EVERYTHING! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? Without her, this life is worth NOTHING!" The volume of my voice rose drastically as I grew more desperate. 

Desperate to hug Min Young, to entwine my hands with hers. To hear her voice calling out my name, to see her smile back at me.  Those are the things I miss and needed right NOW.  But what am I supposed to do without her? She's my oxygen.  She's the reason why I smile. Basically, she is everything I need to get by. 

I tightened my grip around the knife. If I haven't been so careless, she would be here with me now. Be by my side. She would be ALIVE.

I clutched my chest with my other hand. The pain of losing a loved one, the pain of losing a soul mate. Just hurts too much. 

I closed my eyes, my tears flowing freely down my cheeks and wetting the t-shirt I had on.

Min Young... Come back...Please. 

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I wipe a tear from the corner my eye and look up above to face the beautiful cloudless blue sky. "Min Young ah, how have you been? Do you miss me?"

I open the letter that she wrote for me months ago, before she left the earth, using her favorite strawberry scented pen. I can almost hear her gentle and sweet voice talking to me. I bit my bottom lips to stop it from quivering, hoping that I will not give my emotions away. 

Dear Jinki, 

I know you'll be mad at me for not being with you. KEKE. Mianhe! Remember I told you that if one of us could live, I would sacrifice whatever I have, including myself? Well, that's what I am doing now. 

I have one favor to ask of you. You will surely accept right? Forget me. Forget all the memories that we shared and all the fun we had. Only then can you move on. Please. It would hurt me to see you like this. Forget me arrasso? Find a girl who will make your heart beat 10 times faster than it with me. 

Sorry that could not be forever yours, your first and last, as we had promised. 

I hope that you will not waste my effort. Who knows, I may be your guardian angel from above?  ^^

Saranghae, 

Min Young. 

I fold the yellowed paper and tuck it behind the fading photo of Min Young and me on our very first date in the photo compartment of my wallet. Where it has always been. 

"Min Young ah, I really miss you." I whisper, the tombstone. "Why did you do that? I could have been a better guardian angel you know?" I lightly joked. 

Looking on the brighter side, there would be some parts of Min Young that would stay with me forever. It's her heart pumping inside of me and her blood running through my veins. I'll take her with me. Wherever I go.