Please play: Missing You Like Crazy

Dark clouds filled the sky as she slowly walks the pavement. People were rushing, passing by her. She gets hit, but she doesn’t mind. As she stands at the waiting shed for the bus, as if on cue, the bus came. Before she could enter the bus, someone came down and opened her umbrella. Somehow, she was shielded from the rain. She looked everywhere at the bus and sat at the usually place they used to seat.

“Just lean on me,” he asked and she smiled at him first before she placed her head on his shoulder.

“Kyuhyun oppa,” she called and she tilted her head to have a better look at his face.

“Ne, Yoona?”

“You know how important you are to me, right?” She asked and the guy nodded with a big smile.

He knows how important he was to her life. At that moment, she doesn’t have anyone to lean on, physically and emotionally. Facing a difficult family problem, there was no one she could run to except him. He was, after all, her special someone. They were described as ‘a cute couple’ by their friends. They were just new at that moment and they suddenly faced a big problem regarding her family.

“I don’t want to lose you,” she whispered before closing her eyes.

She opened her eyes, just in time where her stop was. The rain had stopped, but the area was still wet. Getting down from the bus, her eyes landed on a certain coffee shop. It was where they would hang out most of the time at their usual table and usual position. Upon reminiscing such memories made her cry again.

“This is stupid,” she said and wiped her tears away.

She walked away, wanting to forget him. But how can she forget him so easily? Each moment without him is killing her inside. She doesn’t know how long she had been walking, but the moment she stopped, she gulped. There he was with some girl whom he knows that likes him so much. She wants to tell the girl to go away. She was jealous of course. She had heard how much that girl acted like he doesn’t have a girlfriend.

But what right does she have now that they’re over?

How did they even end what they were now? She blamed herself. She was a jealous and bipolar girlfriend. She would be so nice at one moment then she would nag him so much, forgetting that Kyuhyun was a law student and that he needs to study a lot. Usually, he would forgive her so easily. But he got tired. When he was having a tough time during their studies, instead of talking or spending time with each other, they would fight. Usually their fights were petty and simple fights before…. until they almost hurt each other physically. She could not remember how that happened. She could not also remember how they ended. All she can remember was that there were too many tears, yelling and slamming of objects.

She wants to apologize. She wants to go back into his arms. She wants to make things back to the way they are or even better. But it’s too late now… or is it?

Looking at the scene again, she met eyes with him. She wanted to tell him that she misses him like crazy, that she dies every moment without him in her life. She was about to take a step forward towards him, but Kyuhyun was pulled away by the girl with her.

“Let’s go, oppa,” the girl with her said.

“Ne, Seohyun,” he answered.

Seohyun dragged him away, but Kyuhyun’s eyes landed back to Yoona, whose head hung low and began to cry. Yoona’s hand began to tremble, but her heart felt like it was being crushed each moment. She turned her back and held unto what was nearest to her. Luckily, her friend, Yuri, was there for her.

Kyuhyun felt as if his heart was breaking at the scene he saw. Yoona was crying at Yuri. And he can’t do anything. He promised her that he would be her shoulder no matter what. But that promise has broken now.

Stopping his tracks, he removed Seohyun’s arm on his.

“Seohyun, I feel like I’m having a headache. I’m going home already,” he lied. Without waiting for the word of the other girl, he left. He turned his back, hoping he would see her.

Whoever said he could live without her probably doesn’t know him. No one knows what he exactly feels for her, for Im Yoona, the girl who can be the clumsiest girl in the world, the one who won actress of the year in their school, the girl whose mouth can be bigger than her fist, the one whose pout he can’t resist, and most of all, the girl who managed to make him realize that love does exist.

He knows that ending things with Yoona had ups and downs. And there were just too many downs in it. They shouldn’t have ended. All they needed was time and space, but they were both stubborn to lower their pride and apologize. Because of that, they had caused more damage, hurting them both in the end.

He doesn’t know how he had survived without her. He thought that he could focus more on his studies, but he just couldn’t. Not without the girl who he had promised his future with. Walking his way home, he stopped at the coffee shop where he they used to hang out.

“One white mocha please,” her favorite, he ordered.

It became his favorite since she would always order it and he slowly grew to love it too. Picking up his order, he left the shop. He walked until he had arrived at a store where he waited for her during their first date.

At that moment, she exited the store. Their eyes meeting, it was as if time stood still and everything else had vanished. They were in front of each other, so near, yet they feel like the other was far.

Kyuhyun was the first to react and passed by.

“K-kyuhyun oppa,” she called. He stopped walking. Oh how he had longed to hear her voice. He wanted to turn and hug her and tell her that he loves her. He knows that he wasn’t always the one who would say those words but he misses her like crazy.

“What do you want?” He sounded cold and it hurt both of them.

“I just wanted to know if I have something to wait for,” Yoona asked. She swallowed a big lump, hoping for something.

“I never told you to wait,” he coldly replied. He doesn’t know why he was like that. Maybe it was because he doesn’t want to make it seem so easy for him to forgive her.

Yoona just smiled and hung her head low. Kyuhyun took a few steps before turning his head a little, only to see her lips trembling. She was trying to hold her tears. Placing her hand on , she turned and walked away.

“Stupid,” Kyuhyun mumbled. He doesn’t know as to what he was pertaining to, the fact that Yoona ran the opposite direction of her house or what he said only made it harder for both of them.

She tried to catch her breath. She thought she wouldn’t cry anymore, but after seeing him twice in one day and having that small conversation made her miss him. She had wondered up to when she will be like this.

“Kyuhyun, are you okay?” Victoria asked her best friend. The guy smiled but shook his head.

“I can’t do this anymore, Vic,” he said, slowly crying. “I can’t pretend that I’m fine when I’m not. I can’t say that my life is okay without her when I’m not. I feel like I’m going crazy every moment that I’m missing her.”

Kyuhyun had been keeping all the tears to himself. He had to take it all out, and Victoria is the only person he knows he can go at this situation.

“I want to tell her that I’m sorry for everything. I can’t even remember whose fault it was. All I know is that I want her back in my arms. I have been foolish to try to push her away, thinking that the ‘space’ we will have is what we need. But that isn’t what I need. I need her back in my life!” He cried at Victoria’s shoulder.

“Then why don’t you tell her?” Victoria smiled at Kyuhyun. She pushed him and made him turn around, to see Yoona standing with a red nose and her face fresh with tears. “I’ll leave you two alone.”

Victoria left the two of them. They couldn’t go near each other. Yoona knows that it’s now or never. She may have heard Kyuhyun’s words, but it doesn’t change the fact that if it wasn’t for her constant rants towards Kyuhyun about how he doesn’t give him much attention and time, then maybe, they won't be like this.

Kyuhyun opened his mouth to say something, but Yoona spoke first.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I’m sorry that I didn’t think about your condition at first. I was shallow and stubborn as always.” She tried to stop her tears and sniffed like a child, one of the things he misses about her, how childish she can still look and he loves it.

“I don’t know what to say anymore. I have prepared a speech before, always thinking what to say. I thought I was ready to tell you everything, but seeing you make me forget all of it and that the only thing I can say is that it’s still you and that I’m still waiting… I’m still hoping that there will still be a chance for us… But… But.. But if you don’t want… There’s nothing I can do.”

Yoona harshly bit her lower lip to the point that it was almost bleeding. Yoona wasn’t the kind to show that she’s weak, but she can’t help to be strong at this moment. She used to have a reason for everything, but back then, her everything was Kyuhyun. Losing him was like losing every reason she has. She still has other reasons, but sometimes, she doesn’t think those are enough.

“Yoona…” Kyuhyun whispered.

He slowly made his way to her, slowly wiping her tears away.

“I love you. I still do,” Kyuhyun said and hugged Yoona.

“But…” Yoona added, crying at Kyuhyun’s arms.

“There are no buts. I’ve missing you like crazy. It’s like hell without you… I’m sorry too. I thought that without you, with the space we could have, we’d be okay. But it got worse. I can’t do it anymore. I just want us to start again and begin something new. I just want you back Yoona. I can’t… I can’t be away from you. Right at this moment, the only thing I want is for us to be together,” Kyuhyun sobbed.

No words were said, just their sobs that died down, along with the sounds around them. Sometimes, no words can actually say what you wanted to tell someone. Sometimes, actions like this are just what you two need, some time to think. They have had their time to think, and in the end, they have concluded that in order for them to feel happy and complete, they need the other. It may seem cheesy or unimaginable, but it was true. Without the other, they find it hard to live. They lost their inspiration and the main reason they would be happy.

“Let’s just stay like this,” Kyuhyun whispered and Yoona nodded.

Relationships falter. We would all go to those ragged paths, some couples, in the end, would successfully make it through together, while some, decides that it would be better to end their separate ways. Love gives second chances. We are given a room for us to grow and find within ourselves if the person we love is worth to fight for. Love makes us do crazy things. Love may cause pain, but it also causes happiness. It’s just within us which one we may want or we may feel.

These two have lost each other in their paths and let go of the other, thinking that it was better for both of them, but in the end, they feel more lost than ever. Though they may have separated, but in the end, their hearts will still find their ways with each other.