•Chanhee's POV•

We were only 12 back then.

And I'm sure we didn't know any better either. At that time, we were only focused on attending school, going home to our families, and lastly, preparing for tomorrow's lesson. No one knew much about living, because no one knew how to. And, Of course, we were too young to fully understand the meaning of loving someone, and when I tried to grasp it in my fingers, it quietly slipped away. I didn't know how easily love could crumble. I didn't know how fragile love really was. But back then, the only people who knew anything about it was you and me.

Winter Break flew by as school once again arrived. The halls buzzed with excitement and soft laughter;  the sharing of adventures were discussed extensively and everyone would listen to each other's stories, waiting for their turn. I was as shy as ever, hiding half of my face with books and averting my eyes everytime someone made eye contact with me. Without my companion, Niel, by my side, I was completely alone. His radiant personality always seemed to lift my confidence up. I wasn't completely shy though, I was also afraid, afraid of the rowdy and playful kids that no one could ever take seriously, because in reality, they were never serious to begin with. But you, You stood out from them all. Even though you had a group of friends just like them, something about you was different from the rest. You were quiet, not because you were shy, but because you were calm. You never shouted or cried, you only stared at your feet and pushed the interfering thoughts out of your head for another day. And when someone did something foolish, you'd just pretend that you didn't notice, turning your attention to something less interesting. And you would hide your mouth with the back of your hand when you let out a soft chuckle. And you always managed to touch your hair without even knowing it, and when someone got on your nerves, you slid your tongue under your upper front teeth and watched the floor as you tried to gain control of your emotions. Those were the things that I liked about you. Unfortunately, the only time I got to see you was in the hallways. You were always standing at the same spot, with your same friends, and your same bright smile. Niel would sometimes approach you guys and I would follow anxiously. Those times rarely happened though, and when they did, I considered myself lucky that day, and hoped that I could get at least a little bit closer to you. And like always, I would catch a glimpse of you every now and then, which was pretty often, and you would glance at me right back. The few seconds of staring into your eyes felt like long hours, but when our eyes lost contact, it felt too short.

But what I remembered the most was that day when Niel and I spotted you and your friends at the park that was only a few blocks away from our school. At first, we didn't know it was you guys until your friend, Changhyun, called us over because you guys needed more people to play a game. Which was fine by me, because I got to spend more time with you, well, more like looking at you. It was fun with just the six of us together, everyone got along really well, sometimes a little too well. And when I blurted out laughing because we were all doing a silly face contest, you looked right at me and said, "You should talk more. You have a nice voice." And it made my heart flutter to heaven. I didn't know how to respond, because I had never felt that way before, so I just let a smile form on my lips and watched your smile grow too. That was the day we became closer.

As time progressed, we grew more than friends. More than best friends. And we both knew it. We both felt it. But the day we realized it was the day it crumbled. During breaks, I would go to your classroom like I did everyday, and I would ask for you to come out in the hallway so we could talk a little bit before I had to leave again. That was the routine. But that one day. Just that one day changed everything for us. Your friend, Jonghyun, came out of the classroom as I made it down the hall. He just looked at me with emotionless eyes, no surprise really. But before I got to ask him to get you, he beat me to the questions. "Why are you always coming here? Do you like Byunghun or something?" He asked me without having to think. I was speechless and tingly inside. My heart thumped faster and my body heated up. I didn't know what to do, what to say. "Well? Do you like him? Are you gay?" Just that one word. That one  word brought me back into reality. How life really was. How you couldn't have a family with two fathers, how everyone was expected at birth to be 'straight'. The thoughts shook me. And they tore me down. "No! That's disgusting!" I blurted without second thinking myself. But at the corner of my eye, I could see you standing at the door way, staring at me. Looking right through me. Don't believe me, Byunghun. Please. But I couldn't say anything, you already disappeared back inside the classroom. That day was the last day I ever saw you.

The next day, you were gone for good. You never came back. I always waited, constantly staring at your classroom door, expecting for you to pop out any minute and smile at me like you always did. But always didn't last forever.

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