“I’ll be gone for a while. Would you miss me?”

“Of course. No matter what happens, I’ll never forget you, Kwon Jiyong.”

The song that played on the radio suddenly reminded me of the conversation I had with Jiyong before he disappeared.

That was almost four years ago.

It was almost four years ago when we last saw him. Jiyong asked for a month-long vacation from Ssajangnim, and he never returned. He never contacted us, despite our efforts to reach him. TOP and our friends searched for him everywhere, but he managed to avoid us.

It was like he disappeared from the face of the earth.

The only way we could reach him was through his phone. His phone was still activated because he left a note with the bank to pay for his bills.

So everyday, I make it to a point to update him about what was happening to us. I just wish he’ll call us back someday.

We miss you so much, Jiyongie.

Where the hell are you?

“OMMA!”

A shrill scream of a child echoed on the walls of the kitchen and I smiled once I heard it. I set aside the food I was cooking and faced the angel that made that cute little scream. The angel wore a mask and a cape.

“What’s up, my handsome little angel?” I asked.

The angel removed his warrior mask and I smiled wider. The angel looked like a mini-version of TOP. Why wouldn’t he? That angel is our son.

Aigoo, this kid will be a heartbreaker when he grows up. Just look at his dimples!

My son tightly hugged my legs and giggled with pure delight.

“An alien is going to eat me!”

I laughed and gave him a kiss on his cheek. “No, he won’t,” I assured him, “Omma’s here to protect you.” My son returned my kiss and we both gave a squeal when the alien appeared.

TOP, my charismatic husband, just channeled his inner bingu version. He was wearing a cape, which I think was a blanket he grabbed from the closet, and the false teeth he and our son wore for Halloween.

“YOU’RE YUMMY! I’M GOING TO EAT YOU!” he screamed and grabbed our kid away from me. TOP playfully nibbled the poor kid’s arms and legs, and tickled him until they both fell on the floor laughing. I carried our son, and sat him on a chair.

“Aigoo! Stop terrorizing Toki! You’ll give him nightmares!” I tried to sound angry, but I only ended up laughing.

TOP was laughing his off and said, “We were just playing.” He faced our son and pinched his cheeks. “Aren’t we, Lizard?” Our son laughed in a silly manner, just like the dorky laugh I do.

Lizard.

That’s the nickname my weird husband gave our kid. Mine’s Toki, and I still believe that mine’s better, even if my son prefers to be called Lizard.

I shook my head in defeat and asked, “So what planet are you from, Mr. Bingu TOP?”

He stuck his tongue out and said, “Planet Dara.”

I blushed at TOP’s answer. It was corny, tacky, and yet so sweet. I pecked him on his cheek and our son chortled. TOP’s stomach made a weird noise and we all laughed.

He frowned and said in a menacing voice, “I’m still hungry! I’m going to eat the beautiful mom!” In an instant, my feet left the floor and he was carrying me out of the kitchen. Toki followed, and we all ended up in the living room, laughing like there was no worry in the world.

I can’t be any happier than our life. I’ve got a great husband and a wonderful kid. Even if TOP and I were busy with our schedules, we always make it to a point to spend time with him. He was our greatest treasure.

We only stopped goofing around when we remembered that some of our friends will be coming for a visit. I quickly returned to the kitchen while TOP and Toki went to the garden to play.

After an hour, the meals I have prepared were all done, and TOP entered the kitchen. “Where’s Toki?” I asked.

“He’s asleep,” TOP said and he hugged me from behind. I turned to face him and hugged him back. We just stood there hugging each other until TOP spoke.

“He’s growing so fast,” he commented. I nodded in agreement. He kissed my forehead and added, “We should give him someone to play with. How about a baby sister?”

I blushed beet red at his suggestion, but it sounded real good to me. I love Toki but I’ve always wanted a daughter.

Maybe it’s time.

I saw TOP wiggling his eyebrows at me, and I laughed. He always knew what to do just to make me agree with him so I said, “Fine. When do you plan to have a vacation?”

TOP removed his wallet and pulled out two airplane tickets to Jeju. He passed them to me and I scanned the ticket dates.

“Now?!” I exclaimed. “What about Toki?”

He chuckled and said smugly, “I’ve asked Bom and Siwon to babysit. Besides, those two would need practice.”

Bom and Siwon? That’s right. The two are going to have a baby in a few months, and my son has a huge crush at Bom, so it’s not going to be a problem leaving him with them.

“I’ve also told Lizard that we will be away for three days, and he said it’s alright.”

“You sneak. You planned this, didn’t you?” I faked a frown and TOP kissed me a little too happy. He was definitely overjoyed with his plan. I kissed him back and thought of how lucky I am to be Mrs. Choi.

Our friends arrived a bit later and when we finished with the festivities, TOP and I prepared to leave. When everything was ready, I bade goodbye to our son.

“Be nice, okay? Don’t give Siwon and Bom a problem,” I reminded him. My son smiled and blew me a kiss.

“I will, omma. I won’t give Ahjumma and Ahjussi a problem.”

Bom almost fainted when she heard what my son said about her. “AHJUMMA?!” she exclaimed in exasperation. Siwon was just laughing at the corner and Bom turned to us, “Ya! You told your kid to call me ahjumma, didn’t you?!”

I shook my head and said, “No, I didn’t!” At the back, I saw Siwon high-five my kid.

TOP and I left after we said goodbye, and before our son disappeared into view, I gave him one last look and blew a kiss in his direction.

“I’ll be gone for a while. Would you miss me?”

“Of course. No matter what happens, I’ll never forget you, Kwon Jiyong.”

The song that played on the radio suddenly reminded me of the conversation I had with Dara before I disappeared.

That was almost four years ago.

It was almost four years ago when I last saw her. I asked for a month-long vacation from Ssajangnim, but I never returned. I never contacted them, despite their efforts to reach me. TOP and our friends searched for me everywhere, but I managed to avoid every single on of them.

It was like I disappeared from the face of the earth.

The only thing that I kept was my phone line. At first, calls from everyone flooded it. But eventually, it decreased. But I still kept the line because through it, I get an update once in a while from Dara. She never failed to call the line once a day, even when she knew that I would never return her call. Because of her, I know that Minzy just had her first boyfriend who was Daesung, Seungri and CL are a couple and he makes CL nuts, Bom got married to Siwon and they’re having their first baby, Taeyang and Ssajangnim were still looking for me, and she and TOP are happily married.

Dara also gives me updates about Toki, and when TOP-hyung calls, he tells me about Lizard.

Lizard? What a weird way to name your kid. TOP-hyung is still weird.

I’ve kept myself busy running and hiding away from them. I cannot let them see me like this—wallowing on my depression. I just can’t go back. I was too ashamed with the way I’m feeling.

After the heat of finding me subsided, I returned back to Korea, but stayed on a shack on Jeju Island. Keeping a low profile in a province, I stayed hidden and they haven’t found me yet. That is if they’re still looking for me.

For many years, I tried to turn Dara into a mere memory but the words she said continued to haunt me and it made it hard for me to let go.

”I’ll never forget you…”

What’s wrong with me? Loving a woman married to his best friend?

I pressed the button for new messages on the machine but it only said, “You have no new messages.”

That was unusual. A day never passed by without Dara dropping a message. And it has been three days.

I wonder how they are.

I got out of the house, took a stroll on a lake near my shack and went back to the house, hoping that I’ll get a message from Dara. When I got back, there was a guy standing in front of my house. His back was unfamiliar to me. I cautiously went near him and asked, “Excuse me, who are you looking for?”

When he faced me, I was surprised.

It was Taeyang.

I stood there as he rushed to hug me, and I felt that the emotions I kept bottled up are trying to break through. I hugged him back, and tears started to flow.

“You bastard,” Taeyang said between tears. “I searched the globe looking for you and you’re just here in Korea?”

I tried to say something but I was being choked by my tears. Taeyang sniffed and finally released me. He looked at me with worried eyes and said, “You have to go back now, Jiyong.”

“I can’t…I—“

“You have to!” Taeyang shouted the words at my face and I wonder why he was so angry and troubled. And when he started to explain why, I decided that it was time.

I’m going back.

I have to go back.

We boarded a plane back to Seoul and when we were on the car, I asked, “Where are their kids?”

“Kids?” Taeyang gave me a puzzled look.

“You know,” I started to explain. “Toki and Lizard.”

“That’s just one person.”

“Really? Why two names?” I was confused. I totally thought Dara and TOP-hyung had two kids. Taeyang shrugged and said, “Who knows?”

I answered Taeyang’s question in my mind.

No one.

Because Dara and TOP-hyung just died.

From what Taeyang told me, Dara and TOP-hyung decided to have a vacation in Jeju but they got into an accident before they could even reach the airport. TOP-hyung died on the spot, cradling Dara in his arms. His wife died two days later in the hospital, with the last wish for someone to find me.

When we arrived at TOP-hyung’s place everyone turned their attention to me. They either looked shocked, glad, or grieved. I slowly made my way in front and saw the caskets before me. Both Dara and TOP-hyung looked so happy in their pictures and I can’t believe they were already gone.

Tears were falling from my eyes, and I felt someone hold my hand. It was a kid, and I smiled as I saw his features. It was a mini TOP.

No. Wait…His eyes are Dara’s.

This must be Lizard, or Toki, or whatever his real name is.

“Don’t cry, ahjussi.”

Did this kid just call me ahjussi?

“Omma and Appa are happy in heaven now.”

My tears welled up again on my eyes and I bit my lip to stop myself from crying. Their son was not crying, so why should I?

I knelt down to touch his hair and he said, “It’s my first time seeing you, ahjussi. Are you friends with my parents?”

“Yes.”

“Do you know my name?” he asked and I laughed.

“Not really.”

He smiled and when he smiled, his eyes lit up like Dara’s and his mouth curled just like Hyung’s.

“Omma calls me Toki while Appa calls me Lizard. I like Lizard more, but I miss Omma calling me Toki.” He was starting to cry. “They always tell me that they named me after a really great person. He was my mom’s first love and my dad’s best friend.”

 “Annyeongaseo, my name is Choi Jiyong. Nice to meet you.” He extended his hand to me as he introduced himself.

My tears began to fall when he said his name.

Because while I tried to forget her and everybody else, she just made me someone they’ll remember.

Dara kept her promise.

Naming their kid after me made me someone impossible to forget.