"So, what happened?" Yoochun asked me, after waiting for me to calm myself down

"i don't understand too" i sighed deeply

"How did you feel?" He asked and acted as if he was a doctor, I chuckled.

I tried to remember about what i felt "it hurts. as if something pinched my stomach from the inside. And my heart hurts too. My tears were falling without me noticing" i said

He thinks for a while "When did you feel that?" He stared at me

I tried to remember "i don't know. It happened sometimes, i don't even know why. How could i know when it happened?"

He laughed "right, so now tell me about today. What made you cried today?"

"So literally jonghyun was sick, i have to take care of him. Then sekyung come. And.." i stopped

"And i don't know what happened anymore. Then i ran down and meet you, and suddenly my tears fell down"

He closed his eyes and his lower lip, then suddenly he laughed which made me frowned.

"you didn't notice?" He ruffled my hair softly

"What do you mean?" I asked him

"You love him don't you?" He smiled

I widened my eyes "that can't be true! He is a jerk! How can i fell in love with a jerk? Are you ok?" i laughed

He grinned "don't you think you are too naïve?" He got up

"No! You must be joking right?! I can't fall in love with him!" I said as i gripped his hand

"Why not?" He asked.

I was at loss for words

"Don't repeat my mistakes" he smiled bitterly and pulled my hand "let's go"

I let him drag my body "what do you mean?"

"Don't deny your feelings" he flicked my forehead softly and drove me back to the dorm

- in front of the dorm -

"thanks for the ride, and for listening to me" i smiled

"It's okay" he pat my head

"Take care oppa" i waved at him. i walked to the door with a heavy heart.

I took a deep breath and ensure myself to be honest to my self. Suddenly onew's head popped out from the door which made me took a step back "Ah, you're home" he smiled and hurriedly dragged me inside

"What's wrong?" I asked "I'm giving up on him" he pushed me to jonghyun's room. When i entered the room, jonghyun was whinning on key "Key! Give me some food!! Onew hyung! Accompany me!" I giggled at his childish action. And jonghyun finally notice me

"Minhee! Where have you been?" He smiled brightly and open his arm. I remember about the talk i've just had with yoochun and started blushing madly

'that can't be true!' I yelled silently. I glared at jonghyun "that can't be true right?!" I accidentaly yelled

"What?" Jonghyun seems clueless

"Nothing" i sighed "i'm gonna take a shower now" i took my clothes and towel

"Ya! Don't leave me!" Jonghyun yelled I aproached him and poked his nose "don't be such a baby. Now sleep" i said and leave him.

He pouted as watching me leave. I showered with a lot of things going around my mind and it didn't feel so good.

I decided to hurry up. "Minhee, come here" Onew signalled me to come to his room straight after i went out from the bathroom

"Why?" I followed him to his room

"Sit here" he patted the empty spot beside him

I sit there, looking at him with a confused face. He stayed silent stared at my eyes deeply.

"Uh.. what's wrong?" I arched one eyebrow. He put his hand on my shoulder without saying a single word, and that startled me.

"Ya oppa, wh-" i'm about to finish my word when onew suddenly sighed. I canceled my intention to ask him.

After a short silence he chuckled. I frowned. He is strange.. i mean, i know onew is really strange, but he is.. just.. strange..

"Glad to know this" he suddenly speak and release his hand from my shoulder

"What?" I tilted my head

He grinned "just testing my feeling towards you"

I opened my mouth "w-what do you mean?" I blushed a bit

"Well, i only take you as my dongsaeng's fiancee, but sometimes i think my heart beat faster when i look at you, and the internet said that it's a symptom of falling in love. I also read the way to prove your feeling. And i guess i'm not falling in love with you, so you do" he chuckled

I laughed "you really did that? Ahahaha.. why tho? I mean you can't fall in love with me right? Beside i'm your dongsaeng's fiancee, i'm not that interesting" i hit his shoulder softly while laughing

"Why can't i? I mean, you don't want the marriage yourself, and you are wrong about yourself. Normal people will try their best to put their mask on and ask for attention from us, or brag about theirself about this marriage, while you were just continue your life like there's nothing happen instead. Actually we are shocked at first, and you are not the type of those weak girl. You are strong even tho your live was rough. It was unusual" he smile softly at the end of his word, that touch me a lot

I pretend to not be affected by his word and laughed instead "still you aren't falling in love with me right?" 

"Well, maybe the fact that you are my dongsaeng's fiancee was taking their part in here" he laughed

"Well, thanks for your compliment then" i said and leave. But a sudden wave of curiousity washed over me and i turn back "ah, onew oppa, how did you test your own feeling?"

"Just try to stare at the person straight on their eyes. If he or she feels nervous they might has a crush on you"

"So how do we know if we have a crush on someone?"

He stayed silent for a moment then said "you'll know when you try it yourself" and smiled widely

I frowned slightly but i don't think he will tell me anyway so i just have to try it, right? "Okay thankyou" and i left the room

I went to jonghyun's room. He really went to sleep, i thought he won't listen to my order. I chuckled

I sat beside him and stare at his face. When he sleep, he really look like an angel. Even sometimes when he open his eyes, he still looks like an angel with his smilling face. I chuckled softly.

"Jonghyun-a, don't make me cry again, will you?" I said softly while staring at his angelic face, brushing his bangs softly to the side, thinking that he won't hear me.

"Can you help me explain this feeling towards you, towards sekyung? I'm confused, too confused to even think of anyword that can describe my feeling right now". I bitterly smiled, my eyes are wet,but i'm not gonna let out any tears now.

I laid my head beside him and close my eyes, letting out the feelings before it ruined me again. I can feel someone my head slowly. I know it's him, he might be just half awake because of my word, or he might be just playing with my hair. I let him did it,since it feel so comfortable

"I should have just left you, and be someone else's wife and life happily. Should have just let you suffer with my evil step sister and her gold digger mother." I laughed a bit and sniffed.

"But i can't do that. Since i live here, too much emotion flowed up. The emotion i never let out, the side of me that maybe even tae ra never know. You just make me let them all out" 

"Like the first time you ran from this dorm, and slipped out to the street?" He chuckled

I chuckled softly "yeah, that too" we stayed in a comfortable silence for a moment.

After a few minute, jjong broke the silence "you know, your hair is softer than sekyung's"

I laughed "of course, she is an actress, her hair must have been dried out thousand times, while i never do that"

Then another silence filled the room

"Did i woke you up?" I asked out of nowhere since he didn't said anything

"Maybe yes, i don't know" he stopped playing with my hair "how long i've been sick?" He asked

"2 days. You're getting your sense now?" I lift my head and search for his face in the darkness of the room

He chuckled "am i that lost?" He rubbed his eyes while smilling

I nodded "more than you can imagine" it was late already, and my eyes formed more eye lid, which made it clear enough to be seen

"Are you sleepy?" He asked

"Kind of" i yawned

He move aside "here, sleep beside me" 

I didn't think twice and just laid my body beside him. He stared at my face, i see his brown orbs under the moonlight

"Are you fully awake now?" I asked

"Yeah, i feel like i've been sleeping for a thousand years and you think i'm still not fully awake after the hibernation?" We chuckled

He played with my hair once again. Twiredl it, and put the strand of my hair behind my ear

I suddenly remember about onew's methode and thinking about checking yoochun's word

I open my eyes,he was actually staring at my face. I stare at his eyes, and he was staring right back at my eyes

I feel so uncomfortable, i don't know, but i feel like closing my eyes again, i know it wasn't because of the sleepiness, it's something else.

I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling lost and hurt. My mind told me to pretend like nothing happened, but my heart told me to do it once again.

To stare at his eyes and search for the answer.

I force my eyes to look at his, ensured them to stare at his eyes for 3 second at last. 

1..

 

2...

 

And suddenly he smiled softly

3.

 

And somehow i understand my feelings. It's all clear now. I closed my eyes and think about it.

This is why i always feels happy, sad, mad. That strange feelings all clear now.

Finally i made a decision "Jonghyun, i think we should just live apart, i will just pretend like we're still living in the same place, and help you to get rid of this fiancee thingy.

I can just break the promise with your father, appa will understand too why i broke the promise. I know he will understand" i let out a bitter smile

He was confused for a moment and slightly frowned "w-why so sudden?"

I smiled "i think it's just the right time to say this. I'm not gonna burden you anymore. Maybe you still have to pay for the first payment for the house rent, but i will pay you back after i get the money" i laughed sheepishly, but he didn't reply. I can't read his expression through the dark room

"Then we can just pretend like nothing happened before and continue our life as what it should be" i closed my eyes again, and let the sleepiness brought me to the dreamland. And he sure was reading my mind and my expression even though i don't see it.

This is the best for me.

 

He my hair softly, carefully.

 

For him.

 

He pulled me into a warm hug and craddled me to sleep.

 

Because i can't fall too deep

 

He hummed a soft lullaby for me

 

It's better to bend than break

 

I let him do it and choose to sleep in the warmth of his arms

 

I'm sure appa understand my feelings better than me. He always did.

 

"You let me do it for the last time or you're just to sleepy to fight back?" He murmured softly in the tone that i can't describe.

 

"both"

 

Because i've fallen for him.

---

UPDATE!

Sorry for making you guys wait. ><

Here's the new chappie~

Enjoy <3

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xoxo, crazzier & tine96