I need you
the truth is.Lights flashed around the six blondes. They'd all woken up at the crack of dawn and spent hours in two cars to travel here, and then another two hours getting painted, styled, sprayed and dressed to perfection sleep deprivation was wearing on all of them and usually the members of B.A.P were able to shrug it off and pretend for their fans that everything was fine. Not today though, today Bang was having trouble keeping dread off his face and his eyes open and Zelo, well Zelo looked like he was about to kill some one. The other members did a better job at hiding their emotions behind their smiles and laughter. Only once in a while did they pass nervous glances at their leader and maknae.
This morning they'd all heard Zelo tell Bang he hated him and never wanted to talk to him again. None of them knew why as much as Jongup had tried to get Zelo to talk to him about it he wouldn't and Bang's lips may as wall have been welded shut. The one time Himchan had gotten the guts to ask Bang had told him to go him self.
YoungJae leaned over and whispered in Daehyuns ear "You think those two will make up anytime soon? It's kinda scary seeing Zelo this mad."
Daehyun just shrugged and looked over at the two.
Himchan had caught YoungJae's words and leaned in from the other side of Daehyun "Wonder what Bang did this time"
"Don't know, what ever it was must have been serious Zelo didn't even touch his breakfast this morning." YougJae whispered so the mics wouldn't pick up his words before he sat straight again and laughed answering a reporters question to him.
Himchan fallowed suit sitting straight in his chair and taking questions answering for the two members who looked less then happy to be there. Making excuses for their behavior. Bang hadn't gotten enough sleep and Zelo was mad because the night before some one had eaten all his cherry tomatoes, they all thought it was Bang but he denied it. Every one seemed to gt a laugh out of that and seemed to accept that answer and moved on to questions about their come back.
Hours later and countless photos signed later they were ready to leave. JongUp caught Himchan's arm as he walked past heading for the cars, then YoungJae and Daehyun. "Hey hyung's. . . I think we should give one of the cars to Bang and Zelo alone, I don't think they are going to talk unless they are forced to. I know it'll be cramped but I think it needs to be done." he said quietly passing a sad look at his friends. Bang was already getting into one of the cars while Zelo had stopped fr a photos with a fan, trying hard to smile.
The others looked at them too and all nodded in agreement. They wanted the fighting to stop before it tore their friends and band apart. Quickly before Zelo was done with his photos they stuffed them selves into the back of the free tiny car. It didn't take long before Zelo was there and opining the door looking for a space away from Bang to ride. Daehyun shook his head. "Sorry Zelo, there's no room. Bang looks like he's going to be sleeping, you'll be fine right?" he said in his sweet voice before shutting the car door in the curly hair kids face and telling the driver to go.
Zelo stood and watched the other car leave him stunned that this was happening. He'd done his best to avoid Bang hyung all day and they were forcing him now to be near him. They hadn't even given him time to ask one of them to trade spots with him. "Traitors. . . " he mumbled sullenly slowly turning to face the car and regarding it like it held the devil him self. Which in his opinion right now it did.
Steeling his spine he huffed, stomping his foot lightly against the ground in agitation and walked -slowly- towards the remaining car. "Fine. It's only a few hours. I can do this. I won't let that jerk Bang bother me. I'll be fine, totally and completely fine." Zelo said to him self, and though he'd intended to sound confident he sounded on the verge of tears.
Zelo took a moment to take a deep breath before yanking the car door open and getting in. He saw Bang with his head back against the leather seat apparently sleeping. Spite hit him and he slammed the door shut causing Bang to jerk awake and jump startled, As tall as Bang was when he smacked his head against the roof of the car. Zelo his a satisfied smile in his mask as he looked out the car window.
Bang jumped jerking awake at the sound of the car door slamming near him. "What the hell?!" he hissed, hunching down and grabbing his head in pain when his head connected with a thud against the top of the car. Glaring he looked over to see who's startled him and instantly his anger melted and was replaced by guilt and he settled back down in his seat. With a sigh he looked out the other window.
Sheepishly he looked over at the beautiful young boy. His heart broke at the sight of anger and hurt written across averted face. A look he'd put there last night. "Where are the others?" he asked quietly, unsure if Zelo would forgive him enough to talk to him.
Zelo had every intention of not answering but he wanted to get home and far away from Bang as quickly as possible and didn't want to sit here till he figured it out. "They are all in the other car." he answered his tone icy cold and he didn't even bother glancing at Bang.
"Ah. . . so we can leave then. . ." he mumbled, the tone in Zelo's voice felt like a dagger lodging it's self in Bang's throat. Never had the boy been this mad at him, never had he thought Zelo could hate him. Apparently though he'd meant it when he'd said it last night. With a defeated sight Bang nodded at the driver letting him know they were ready to leave.
Bang could only sit there in the awkward angry silence staring at the back of the angry maknae's head for so long before he had to break it. Clearing his throat in an attempt to prompt Zelo to look at him he tried to think of something to say to make his words from last night go away. Nothing came to mind and his attempt failed and actually made Zelo lean further away from him. Sighing he rubbed a tired hand over his face trying to think.
". . . Oi. . . Zelo, Im ugh, sor-" Bang cut off his sentience quickly as Zelo turned to glare at him with the most heart breaking face Bang had ever seen in his life
"Shut up Bang, I really don't want to hear your voice." Zelo managed to find his voice and keep it cool and from cracking from the tears that burned behind his eyes. "NOTHING Bang! Nothing can make up for what you said last night." he told his hyung, respect and manners had gone out the window with his happiness the night before.
Bang was taken back by Zelo's words and opened his mouth to try again. "I just though--"
Zelo cut him off again "What did you think was going to happen Bang? Really spend a month telling me how I was different, special, then when I finally give in and let you take what you want from me and then when you THINK some one finds out that's it, we're done and say those horrible things to me and I'd be fine with it?! Seriously?" he asked, his hurt over taking his anger now as the tears he'd been keeping in for the past twenty four hours finally spilled over and ran down his face.
Zelo couldn't keep it in any more. He was done pretending to be strong, done trying to live up to HIS expectations. He was just a kid for gods sake and he'd trusted Bang, trusted him when he promised a for ever, promised he loved him. He was entitled to cry over what he's lost and the trust Bang had broken.
"Really Bang you're a selfish jerk you know that? I trusted you. TRUSTED EVERY WORD YOU SAID! Every damn one of them. And you know what I really DID love you. Unlike you I don't say things I don't mean, and certainly not that. You're cruel Bang, very cruel. You think some one finds out about us and suddenly you're worried about being seen with me, worried some one will think your gay and that'll some how make them think you're not this tough guy you pretend to be? Well I've got news for you, if you were really as strong and tough as you think you are you wouldn't care one bit about what any one said and would have the GUTS to love me the way you promised BEFORE you got me in your bed. You're such a cowered." Zelo ranted, his shoulders shaking from the silent sobs he couldn't hold back any longer, his voice too showed how hurt he was, cracking and breaking every few words.
Bang was stunned into complete silence as Zelo yelled at him. He deserved it to. Honestly he deserved a lot more then just being yelled at but even angry Zelo was to nice to pure for the physical violence Bang though he should be giving him. Punch me Zelo, hit me, something, just please smile at me again. I hate the tears you have. I can't live with this. I'm so sorry! I'M SO SORRY! His mind shouted at him and tears burned behind his own eyes. But he let the boy go on, he couldn't find his voice. He really was the cowered Zelo named him to be.
Tears streaking his face Zelo just shook his head "I hate you for this Bang, I hate the way you make me feel and I never NEVER want to hear your dumb voice again. So. Shut. Up." Bang had torn down every reservation he had about them, had made him realize he did love this man, that he wanted to spend long long years smiling and laughing with him. And then in one night, five short minutes had broken all of that. He'd ripped his heart out and put it threw a blender. With one finale sniffle Zelo turned around with his arms crossed over his chest to look out the window, away from Bang.
Zelo watched numbly out his window his thoughts distracting him to the point he saw nothing out it. Not untill he was painfully flung to the side and slung him into his car door. Zelo screamed in pain as he was slammed into the car door, and he only felt pain for a moment though before the car spin violently casing him to smack his head hard against the back seat of the car and knocked him out.
Bang opened his mouth to say something, anything to make Zelo forgive him. He didn't have time to though when a loud screeching noise exploded around them. The car jerked to the side and spun the sick sound of metal smashing metal filled the car. Glass rained down around Bang, lodging it's self into his skin and digging its way into his cloths to cut at him when his body moved.
Bang heard Zelo scream, and tried to reach for him, to make sure he was ok but the car jerked again and slammed him against the car door beside him. The wind was knocked from his lungs and his head smacked painfully against the door. His vision blurred and lights danced behind his eyes before darkness him in. "Zel. . . lo. . ." he moaned out as unconsciousness calmed him and again the car was slammed into, this time from behind.
The loud weers of sirens and the frantic yelling of his and Zelo's name brought Bang back to painful reality. He vaguely noticed the people trying to get the car open to get to them. It took all his strength to lift his head the centimeters needed to see Zelo's limp bloody form in the seat next to him. The seat belt was the only thing holding the boy up. Terror nearly choked the life out of Bang "ZELO!" Bang managed to cough out weakly reaching towards the boy, tears of fear streaming own his face. His whole body hurt and he couldn't remember what had happened to end them up like this, the only thing he could think about was getting to the boy next to him and making sure he was still alive. "I'm so sorry, please don't leave me. . ." he's voice was horsed and raspy, bruised by the seat belt currently digging into his throat. He could hardly get his voice above a whisper but he had to try to get Zelo to respond.
He had to know Zelo was still alive, that he wasn't gone. He didn't know what he'd do if he wasn't "Zelo please! Please don't be dead! Zelo! Please baby I need you!" he fumbled with his seat belt buckle for a minute before managing to get it off of himself, and didn't hear the voices telling him not to move. All he could think about was the way Zelo looked hanging there limply covered in glass and blood. Think about how much he did really love the boy. Pictures of them laughing and joking ran threw his head as tears feel from his eyes afraid he'd never see that smile again, never hear his voice calling his name. Never hold him close to him late at night when they were alone together. Never hear him whispering all the things he dreamed about to him. He'd never see the cute scared face he had when ever a nightmare would scare him and he would want to sleep with him to keep them away. "I need you so much. Please don't leave me. . ." Bang begged as he dragged him self threw the glass covering the few feet of empty seat between them.
Gently placing a bloody hand to the boys pail cheek. "Please I'm so sorry." Bang was sobbing quietly now. "Live and I swear I'll never hurt you again, please Zelo, I love you so much." his voice broke and cracked from his tears and he fell against the seat crying, to weak to keep him self up any more he just laid there praying for Zelo to be alive. Bang had never been a particularly religious person but he'd do anything if it meant Zelo would be alright. Even if Zelo never forgave him, he just wanted to be able to see the boy alive, and happy even if it wasn't with him.
--A Few days later--
Zelo tried to stay asleep, tried to stay in the safe little world of his dreams where everything was alright and happy, where Bang loved him and there was no pain but for some reason no one would turn the alarm off and the sharp BEEP BEEP BEEP kept pulling him close and closer to contentiousness. Closer to the pain filling nearly every part of his body. Slowly though he had no chose what ever he was laying on seemed to be shaking and caused sharp jabs of pain to spike threw him. Frowning he slowly blinked his eyes open. It took a few minutes of staring up at the ceiling to realize he wasn't at home, and the BEEP BEEP he was hearing wasn't his alarm clock but a heart monitor. And the shaking his bed was doing was because some one was leaning against it, holding his hand and crying. Zelo frowned laying still and trying to get the ringing to leave his ears to hear what they were saying. Moving his head hurt when he looked around the dimly light room he could make out the other members of B.A.P were in the room, sleeping. Jongup and Daehuyn were laying on a small cot against the far wall, YoungJae was sleeping sitting on the floor by the door and Himchan was in a chair sleeping by the window. That left. . . . he looked down at the sobbing form in hospital scrubs next to his bed. Bang.
Bang clung to Zelo's cold hand tightly crying like he'd been doing for the past three days. He'd left the uncomfortable chair by the boys bed only a handful of ties when the doctors or other members made him move and even then he was right back there within a few minutes. Right now every one else was sleeping but he'd refused too. He hadn't slept since the first day they let him out of his bed. He was to afraid he'd wake up and Zelo would be gone. He told the others of course that he slept so they'd leave him alone Not that he thought for one minute that they believed him. "Zelo. . ." he whispered hoarsely from all the crying he'd done. His eyes were closed tights against his endless tears as he rested his tired head against the bed. "I'm so sorry. Please come back to me. I need you Zelo! I need you so much I can;t even think about anything but you any more. I was scared, I was a cowered you're right and you've no idea how much I regret ever hurting you. I love you so much I can't live with out you. It scared me how much I needed you, I've never needed any one before. Please come back to me Zelo, I love you, and I just want to see you smile again, I want you to laugh at me again, I want to hear your voice saying my name again and Zelo please don't leave me, I'll do anything just come back. I told them, Himchan, Daehyn, Jongup, and Youngjae about it, us, that I love you. They know everything. I'm sorry I couldn't have been brave sooner. Please come back to me and I swear i'll never be a cowered again. I'll even go down the hall to one of the media cameras and tell them I'm in love with you if that'll bring you back. Zelo please, I'm so lost with out you. . ." he couldn't talk any more sobs were welling up again and stealing his voice.
Zelo lay quietly listing to Bang talk, despite the pain he was feeling he smiled and waited for him to stop talking before he shifted a bit, reaching weakly with his free hand to touch the top of Bangs head. "Bang hyung, stop crying. . . . you're shaking the bed, and it hurts. . ." Zelo mumbled out tiredly, his throat felt to bruised and raw and he couldn't manage much more then the broken whisper.
Bang froze at the movement he felt in the bed, and when he heard Zelo's voice he sat up straight so fast he almost flung him self out of his chair. Wide eyed he stared at the boy tears streaming down his face. "ZELO!" he yelled, successively waking the others from their uncomfortable sleep "YOU'RE AWAKE! ZELO I'M SO SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" he sobbed loudly, ignoring the others as they got up to see their friend awake for the first time in day. Bang stood then, and leaned over the bed to make sure he wasn't dreaming and Zelo's eyes were really open.
Zelo rolled his eyes at Bangs reaction and nodded that he was in fact awake, as much as he didn't want to be because of his discomfort. "I'll forgive you on one condition" Zelo whispered out, a mischievous smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Anything!" Band swore quickly, breathlessly.
Zelo's smirk widened a bit and he reached up, grabbed the front of Bangs shirt and pulled him down towards him, capturing his lips firmly against his. He'd been dreaming of doing this for so long he couldn't wait long enough to tell Bang that was what he wanted.
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