A/N: (1,411words) Another songfic from me, and it's angst and sorry for this. ;AA;
I am actually feeling angsty about my love life, so lol yeah, I'm such an emotional boy ;A;
The song is Missing Me by Rj Helton
LISTEN TO THE SONG HERE

A/N2: Comments are L O V E ;A;

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I love the way it feels when you touch my hand
Don't wanna let you go
I love the way you say that I am your man
Don't understand why we can't go on and go on
Don't understand why
You don't belong in my arms

It has been four months, Sungmin. Four months.

My heart jumped in joy when you suddenly walked towards me, you held my hand and that precious smile was shown to me - that smile which happened to be one of the reasons why I fell in love for someone like you.

And oh, that voice that kept on my heart melting until now and even the simplest word you delivered that moment, my heart fluttered and I fell like flying. Of course, I would love to fly with you. I don’t know what it feels above or even where I think we’re heading, but being with you, I would like to discover all the things and we will have that favorite spot in there, and share happy moments.

“Congratulations” that was the only word you said, but seriously speaking, I would like to hug you at that moment.. But, do I still have the right to do that? No.

I wanted you to hold my hand more, but there came Donghae, who slapped your hand over mine, secured his arms around your waist as if he already owns you. I am Cho Kyuhyun and I was once the Cho Kyuhyun who was the one doing those possessive things to you, but I cannot anymore. I suppose you’re already dating. I was once your man, too bad, there’s someone replacing me.

I may have the trophy of having the most intelligent person of the university, or even the whole world, but that can never be compared on winning your heart.

Why can’t I have another chance?

It's funny how my heart just won't let it go
I just don't understand
It's crazy how the pain seems to overflow
The memories of you here with me by my side
I can't deny that you are the love of my life

At the cafeteria, you were alone. I had the opportunity to come over and had the chance to give you bubble tea, your favorite. I was so glad you accepted it. I was too happy then you suddenly threw it to me, spilling the content of it on my white uniform. You walked away, and I can’t even follow you. I was sticky wet, but why? I still feel contented. At least I had the chance to look at you closely, just like how it used to be.

Next day, at the classroom, I was so glad again! You sat beside me, and winked at me. I almost died, Sungmin! I almost died. I was really inspired to answer my test that morning. I am so serious on answering a chemistry problem, and you let your pointer finger touched me to grab my attention, and that never failed for me to feel electricity all over my body. A yellow paper was next tapped on my wrist, and there were those words, “What’s the answer to Problems 4 and 8, Set B? Write it in here ;)” I smiled and took the paper, writing all the answers you needed. I was rushing that moment because I don’t like to keep you on waiting. I was about to give the paper back to you and suddenly our professor shouted my name and walked towards us.

“Cho Kyuhyun, what is this?” She asked, but she had her eyes on you. You, Sungmin, had said “that is not mine, Madam! Believe me!” and I was just there saying, “Madam, Sungmin-ssi has nothing to do with that, I made that to cheat on the test. You can punish me.”

“I can’t believe you’re doing this, Mr. Cho! The number one student is a cheater?!” Oh, I’m a cheater now, not literally, I just wanted you not to be on danger or to get the punishment. I won’t really mind though, at least your finger touched me and I had the chance to fight for you! I missed that.

And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
Would you come back to me
And even if I walked on the water
Would you come out to sea
Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me

Sorry Sungmin. I am too emotional and this letter for you got wet, ugh my tears, they cannot stop from flowing! My bad, really sorry. So I think I cannot give this to you? You don’t deserve a crap though! Maybe I’ll just rewrite it later.

You know what, Sungmin? I ing miss you, I really ing do. Four months and surprisingly, these fluids coming out from my eyes never ran out! Hehe, I’m now laying on my bed and do you remember the sweet and naughty things we’ve done here? I missed that too! Aww, I wish you were here. In fact, I called you, and I didn't know if you answer it accidentally but you were panting, I was actually getting worried and then I heard “Donghae-yah faster, uuuh”

What were you doing though? But I won’t still mind, at least I heard your voice, not to mention, your y voice! Though it says another name, I can still feel that it’s for me.

I still cry for you
I would die for you
I can't believe all the words I heard you say
I still long for you
I was strong for you
I can't believe that you'd throw it all away

Now, it’s time for me to hand you this letter. Oh! This is the revised and rewritten one. I attached the old version, hoping you’d realized how many gallons of tears dropped there while I was writing. I hope you'll recognize.

“The is this ?” You said as I hand over a thick book full of my letters for you since we broke up four months ago. I just cannot say anything, maybe I was too surprised that you’re in front of me again?

Again, just like the bubble tea incident, you threw it to me. You, once again, threw something I needed to give you. You’re doing it a habit, huh?

“Kyuhyun, it has been four months, can’t you let it go? It’s 4 months for god sake!” You yelled at me, and then your phone suddenly rang and you immediately said to the person in the other line, “oh I was just throwing something on the trash bin, I’ll be there soon, okay bye.”

Wow, I am Cho Kyuhyun and now I’m a trash can, and all those written materials I’ve done for you are just garbage.

“Kyuhyun, move on. Please. For me. This is not only for me, Kyu. This is for you, please stop this” I was just crying at that moment as you turned back and ran over to meet your Donghae guy again.

This time I was stronger, I followed you and your running figure. You are still an idiot when it comes in crossing the street though. How come you've reached college without knowing how to cross the street? And how come you did not manage to see the van rushing to you. Glad I was always fast, Min! I’d pushed you at the right time! My calculation was never wrong! Me, being genius is really helpful!

Now I can't spend my life standing by
Cause even when I miss you
You're still not missing me

At the hospital, I was really, really, glad you were right beside me! I am so sorry Sungmin for being so stupid and for saving your life.. I did not even know that the van hit me! So stupid of me, but don’t worry, Min, I’m still alive.

My cheeks blushed as you went higher to meet and kiss my bandaged forehead. I ing missed those soft lips!

I was just still smiling, yet my tears betrayed me again and they fell continuously when you said, “I hope this served as a lesson to you, Kyu. I loved you, and the relationship you still want up to right now will never come back. Move on for your own sake, Kyuhyun. Remember, I loved you, and that’s how it ends.”

How can I ever fly alone, Sungmin?