As a chronically online person, Kim Jongwoon would like to think that he is updated and well-versed with the latest Internet trends and the art of being insufferable around non-chronic-Internet-users by bothering them with brainless Internet jokes and references.

And well, everyone also knows that Cho Kyuhyun, Jongwoon’s boyfriend of 10 years, Super Junior’s bratty maknae, cannot be bothered with whatever Internet trends that Jongwoon derive so much amusement from. In fact, there are only few things that can sustain Kyuhyun’s attention and interests: work, alcohol, food, more work, Jongwoon, singing, gaming, and more Jongwoon. On the other hand, Jongwoon, as the renowned multi-tasker of Super Junior, checks all his social media platforms religiously every day, as if he has a PhD for it.

And with Cho Kyuhyun being the most doting boyfriend of Kim Jongwoon, this also meant that he would be subjected to the most random conversations, just because his hyung thought they were funny.

Most of the times, Kyuhyun was fine with them — he thought he answered his hyung’s question of “Kyu~ Would you still love me if I was a worm? :)” pretty well, but sometimes, Jongwoon’s antics would also make him second-guess his hyung’s age. Because can someone tell him why Jongwoon got mad at HIM when Jongwoon played with the “Who is your soulmate in Super Junior?” filter, and got Eunhyuk as his result??? Shouldn’t he be the angry one??? Kyuhyun could still remember vividly how his boyfriend slammed the bathroom door open while he was taking a shower, waving his phone around, going on a tirade of “Cho Kyuhyun, why did I get Hyukjae as my soulmate? Why aren’t you my soulmate? What are doing behind my back? I hate you! I wanted you as my soulmate!!! You’re so mean to me!!!”

???

Yeah, even after 10 years of dating, Kyuhyun still doesn’t really understand what goes on in his hyung’s mind.

Fast forward to a week later, Jongwoon had decided that he would forgive(?) Kyuhyun for not being his soulmate. Jongwoon would NOT admit that he threw a tantrum at his younger boyfriend just because the creator of the filter had no foresight or understanding of Super Junior members. However, he did enjoy the placating from Kyuhyun thereafter. He liked Kyuhyun indulging him.

And it seemed like Jongwoon wasn’t planning on giving his boyfriend a break either, because while he was on his third hour of scrolling through Tiktok that day, he chanced upon a video trend of girlfriends calling their boyfriends ‘husbands’ and getting their live reactions for it.

Jongwoon LOVED it. So he was going to try it on Kyuhyun, of course.

-

It was almost 11PM and Kyuhyun was finally making his way up to his shared apartment after a whole day of schedules. It was tiring, sure, but Jongwoon had texted him a whole string of ‘come home soon~~~’, ‘when are you coming home :(’, ‘kyuuuuuuuu where r uuu’, which made his heart squeeze tightly (he also had to bribe his manager to make sure that he would not tell anyone about how he giggled into his palm and kicked his legs against the car seat when he read the messages). The maknae’s steps were light as he skipped happily to the apartment door and unlocked it.

Just as he wished, Jongwoon came scampering to him the moment he got past the threshold. This had always been one of his favourite parts of living together with his boyfriend — he could feel all the fatigue leaving his body at the sight of Jongwoon receiving him at the doorway after a long day of work.

“Kyu! You took so long!”

God damnit, Jongwoon even had a pout as he hit at Kyuhyun’s arm and whined at him for coming back late.

“I’m sorry, hyung, I only managed to see your messages after I ended filming. Did you miss me? Were you waiting for me to come home?”

“Yes…”

The younger couldn’t take it anymore and leaned down to steal a kiss at the pouting lips of his hyung. “Sorry for keeping you waiting, baby. And I miss you too. Have you eaten?”

“I wanted to eat with you…” Both of Jongwoon’s small hands were now holding onto Kyuhyun’s right hand and swinging it side to side while he looked at Kyuhyun with wide, imploring eyes.

He wants me to ing die!!!!!! Kyuhyun thought. Why was his lover this cute and clingy today?!?!?! It didn’t matter. Kyuhyun was going to chug this sweetness up like honey.

“Aigoo… my poor baby was waiting for me? I’m here now! What does hyung want to eat? I’ll make anything you want right now!” The younger toed off his shoes and started jogging to the kitchen to look through the ingredients in the fridge right away. Anything his hyung wants, his hyung is going to get it immediately! Jongwoon is not going to starve on his watch! He is going to be the fastest chef in the world so that Jongwoon did not wait in vain for—

A pair of arms wrapped around him from his back and Jongwoon’s warm cheek started nuzzling into his neck.

“Anything is fine, Kyu~ I just want to spend time with you~”

Kyuhyun felt lightheaded. This was too much cuteness for him!!!! Please god, let Jongwoon be this clingy to me everyday. The younger turned around in Jongwoon’s arms and channelled all his cute fury (you know, when you get angry because someone is too cute) into squeezing the older close against his chest. Jongwoon yelped, but stayed pliant in his tight embrace.

“You. Are. Too. Cute. Today! You’re making me angry!”

“Okay, I’ll stop being cute. Don’t be angry.”

Kyuhyun bumped his head against Jongwoon’s. “NO, don’t stop. Please, continue being cute.”

“But you’re angry.”

“It’s cute fury. Because you’re too cute, so I’m angry.”

“So I should continue?”

“Yes!”

“Okay.” Then Jongwoon got on his tiptoes and pecked Kyuhyun on the lips, before wriggling out of Kyuhyun’s arms and disappearing into the living room. The sudden empty space made the younger frown. Nooooooo, come back kitty.

Jongwoon returned within a second, this time, with his phone. Kyuhyun watched as his hyung set the phone against a bottle of water and switched on the front camera.

“What are you doing, hyung?”

“Come here, Kyu! I want to show everyone what you’re cooking.”

???

“Who’s everyone?”

“You know, everyone. Kkoming, Melo, everyone.”

???

“But I’m not even cooking yet.”

“Just come!”

Okay, such a feisty wife. Kyuhyun trudged to Jongwoon’s side in confusion and now, both of them were standing in frame of the camera. Kyuhyun thought they looked good together (as always).

With his short finger, Jongwoon pressed the screen to start the recording. Kyuhyun still had no idea what was going on, but if he had learnt anything from Jongwoon’s recent antics, he would know to abide by the mantra of “do as Jongwoon says first, ask questions later”. So like the good boyfriend he was, he simply stood and watched on as Jongwoon babbled away.

“Hi everyone~ Kyu is actually making me dinner right now! He had a long day at work today and he was sending me all these penguin emoticons telling me that he was tired, but he still decided to make dinner for me after all that~ He is the best, right? While waiting for Kyu to come home, I watched some of his variety shows too, and I had a video call with Kkoming and Melo and they ignored me so I got a little sad but then I played with some of the new lego sets that I—”

Kyuhyun almost started to tune out of Jongwoon’s long monologue, he had a long day, alright, when suddenly—

“— yeah, the coffee wasn’t bad, but since my husband here, doesn’t drink coffee, I wouldn’t recommend—”

Wait.

Husband?!?!??!

Who husband???? Which husband???? Him husband?!?!!!!

“Wait! Wait, wait, wait. Husband?” Kyuhyun interrupted in a frenzy. His usual round and dewy eyes grew even larger as he stared at Jongwoon in frozen shock to process the keyword. Husband?!? On the other hand, Jongwoon merely turned to look at him in obvious annoyance for being cut off. Like he didn't just unilaterally promote Kyuhyun's status in his life to a lifelong partner.

“What! I was talking, Kyu.”

Kyuhyun could only continue to stare blankly, did his ears play tricks on him or what???

Seeing how he wasn’t going to say anything else, Jongwoon turned back to the camera and continued. “So yes, as I was saying. I wouldn’t recommend going to that cafe, especially since my husband is already really good at making coffee the way I want it. I like my coffee—”

“WAIT! Hold the up!!! Hyung. What did you say again?” Now, Kyuhyun was so ing sure he heard right, and he was also so ing sure his traitorous ears were turning bright red already. There was an undercurrent of excitement and giddiness buzzing through his body. Husband?!/?!/!

“Why did you interrupt me again!”

“What did you call me?”

“Husband?”

“I’m your husband?”

“Are you not? My husband?”

The most -eating grin started to spread on Kyuhyun’s face. He was positive he had never smiled so wide in his entire life before.

“Of course! Of course~ I’m your husband~ I’m Kim Jongwoon’s husband~” The younger latched onto Jongwoon and pulled him into a side hug. He turned to the camera and started gloating, in the smuggest voice he could muster happily.

“Everyone~ I’m his husband! Cho Kyuhyun is Kim Jongwoon’s husband~ We are married! Kim Jongwoon loves me so much he wants to be with me forever~ Give your husband a kiss, Jongwoonie~” Kyuhyun puckered his lips and chased after Jongwoon, who could only feign a face of annoyance to hide the joy of looking at his lover's reaction.

“Get off me, Kyu!!! I was talking! Go and make dinner!”

“No~ my name is not ‘Kyu’ anymore~ it’s ‘husband’~ you can only call me ‘husband’ from now on~”

And before Jongwoon could say anything in return, Kyuhyun had already turned off Jongwoon’s phone, not before he waved happily at the camera and cheered, “We need to spend our y first night as a married couple in bed now, bye everyone!”

-

Jongwoon was roused from his sleep the next morning with a kiss to his forehead. The older rubbed his eyes and whined groggily before opening his eyes to the sight of his lover already dressed and ready to leave.

“So early?”

“Yeah, my concert rehearsal starts soon.” Through his hazy mind, Jongwoon thought that Kyuhyun looked particularly radiant for some reason.

“Okay, take care, love you.”

“Love you too, hyung. See you at home tonight.”

Jongwoon tugged at Kyuhyun’s hand and pulled him down to return a kiss on the younger’s soft cheek. “See you.”

Jongwoon was just about to drift back to sleep, when he heard Kyuhyun’s cheery voice shouting from the the front door. “Don’t miss your husband too much, Jongwoonie!”

Jongwoon jerked awake.

Right. That explained why Cho Kyuhyun was practically glowing despite it being 7 in the morning.

(At around 8AM, Jongwoon received a text message from ‘Jongwoon’s HUSBAND 😘’ reminding him to get some breakfast. That was also when he realised that the younger had changed not just his own contact name in Jongwoon’s phone, but the wallpaper of their chat and Jongwoon’s home screen had all been changed to a selfie from their previous night’s post-coital cuddle.)

(For the rest of the day, Jongwoon kept finding random post-its all over the house, all written in Kyuhyun's illegible scrawl. The contents of the post-its varied from ‘Jongwoon! Your HUSBAND made you your favourite coffee~ Reheat it when you feel like drinking~’ to ‘Do you like the new hickeys on your neck from your HUSBAND?’ And yes, the word ‘HUSBAND’ is always capitalised and bolded.)

(In the evening, when Jongwoon was out to get some dinner with his friends, his phone suddenly blasted a recording of “Your husband’s calling you, Jongwoon~ You husband’s calling you, Jongwoon~” in Kyuhyun’s sing-song voice, instead of his usual ringtone. Jongwoon had to spend the remaining dinner time with his face red. Dinner was also on him so that his friends would not utter a single word of what had happened to anyone else.)