Courage, Part 2: I Know
Courage
It's cold, and the warm air he expulses from his cracked lips materializes itself into a thing layer of fog. He shivers, and although it would be quite plausible to blame it on the cold outdoors, he knows this shivering is different; he knows it comes from within.
He reaches for the green glass bottle, and pours more of its toxic substance in the little shot glass. The loud thud resulting from the bottle crashing back on the little metallic table in the restaurant makes him wince, and he drinks the fire-like substance as if it were water.
"Ah- Ahjumma! Another bottle of ....of So...Soju!"
He does not hear the energetic response of the lady who owns the stall, as he impatiently shakes the bottle of Soju in mid-air, as if the movement would make more alcohol appear within it. He grows slightly impatient, and with a grunt, he lies his face flush on the table, both hands letting go of the glass and bottle to hold on to its surface. The coldness of the table steadies his stomach, and he briefly wonders if it helps keeping him from vomiting.
He wants to cry. And he doesn't care who sees him like this, he just.... wants to cry.
A woman's voice half-wakes him from his drunken thoughts, and he doesn't even bother to look up when she slams another bottle of Soju on the table, muttering something about how sad it is to see such a cutie pie drink alone and look so heartbroken. In fact, it is barely audible to him, but he laughs lazily at bribes he thinks he hears from her monologue, and answers to the empty stool in front of him that it's not true, but that he knows a real cutie pie, and that he'd never even compare to him.
He unexpectedly gets up, and sways his way to the lady's counter, handing her his wallet. She quickly understands the gesture (it seems he wasn't the first drunk she has had to deal with tonight, and he probably won't be the last), and grabs the exact amount he owes her; as she hands his wallet back, she instructs him to grab a cab, and adds that cuties like him get mobbed easily around here.
Kim Ryeowook delivers the supernatural feat of actually finding an empty cab and being able to instruct the driver with directions. As the car moves along the streets, his heart is heavy, and he hums.
"Mmmmm.....MMMM!"
"Hey, kid, what's wrong? A little lady broke your heart?"
"....Mmm ..why? Did he br....break your heart to?! I...DOn't BeliE....beLiEve this! AIISSHH!"
The driver laughs it off as he expertly maneuvers his way around the streets. Another heartbroken kid tonight. It feels like he's had ten in the past hour.
"He.....You....'re either in...or...out for him, and... it's..."
"You mean her? You know bud, ladies are real simpler than we think. Give her your wallet, and she'll be all over ya again."
"No....he.... doesn't w...wan...ant that.."
"Are you popular or somethin'? She'd like that, I bet."
"......I...I AM! But... so is..."
"Ah, rich family? Start by being her friend first, and work your way up."
"We.....are...already are..."
And Ryeowook feels the cold of the tear he is shedding on his cheek. Why isn't it him? The driver continues the conversation on his own, but Ryeowook tunes out the world, as he concentrates on the man he wants to see. He thinks of how they already are best of friends, how he knows everything there is to know about him, and of how he likes it all, and even loves it all.
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