Karina took a long drag of her e-cig on a cold winter night. She had been leaning on the hood of her car for an hour now, stalling. It was eight thirty and the cold started to feel deadly despite her thick winter jacket. Her snot will freeze and soon her whole inside at this rate. So she put her e-cig away in her pocket, looked to the bright cafe across the parking lot, and sighed.

 

Let’s get this over with.

 

Copolla Cafe. A small establishment owned by a long retired SM talent. A friendly guy called Dom whom Karina knew so well. They were so close that earlier that evening, Dom had called Karina to remind her of the event at Copolla. An event Karina dreaded so bad but she had to attend nonetheless.

 

Right by the front door was a standing chalkboard with neatly written letters: closed for private event, 19-21, Engagement Party.

 

Karina pushed the door open and a soft ring of a bell above it announced her arrival. All heads turned to her. There were probably twenty people inside, all of them Karina knew from her idoling days. Manajer Tak, Stylist Cha, Irene-sunbae, Heechul-sunbae, Onew-sunbae, Yoona-sunbae, and of course, the members of Aespa.

 

The first one to greet her after everyone was Ningning. She hugged Karina and kissed both of cheeks. She was smiling but Karina knew she was bothered and awkward. And of course Giselle would feel the same. “Glad you could make it,” she said and Karina responded with a simple nod. 

 

A tall guy came up to her and gave a firm handshake. “Hey,” he said. His name was George something. She forgot his last name, or didn’t bother to remember. Born and raised in the US until his twenties. The guy inherited a successful multinational company from his family and arrived in South Korea two years ago. He made a name of himself as a great businessman before he was on Karina’s radar. “Thank you for coming. It means a lot to her.”

 

And with that word, the girl that still took Karina’s breath away after all these years showed up behind him. With a casual white striped tee shirt and worn out jeans, Winter greeted Karina with a smile. She had a mini veil adorned her now brunette hair. “Unnie,” she said, extending her hand for a handshake.

 

“Congrats, Minjeong-ah,” Karina said.

 

“Thanks,” Winter smiled, pulling her hand off of Karina’s hand after a short grip. She then looped her arm on George’s and pulled him aside, tearing themselves away from Karina.

 

Karina sighed.

 

“Let’s get a drink,” said Ningning.

 

Ningning led Karina to the bar. She ordered two margaritas for them. Karina scoffed. She never got used to the sight of Ningning drinking alcohol. She hugged the younger girl. Ningning will always be her little baby sister.

 

“Oh, come on,” Ningning protested playfully.

 

“Sorry,” Karina took a sip of her margarita.

 

Someone hugged Karina from behind and gave her a kiss on the crown of her head. It was Yoona. “Hey. You okay?”

 

Karina nodded. “Yes. Of course.”

 

Yoona sat next to her and ordered the same drink. “It never gets easier, right?”

 

Karina was silent for a few moments. She exchanged looks with Ningning before smiling, “Yes.”

 

Yoona raised her cocktail. “I think I get the feeling. Or at least, I’m familiar with it.”

 

“How is she doing? I mean… how is she handling all of the- you know?” asked Karina.

 

“Oh, Taeyeon-unnie? Well, she drowned herself in her work… and, uh… writing songs about heartbreak. Remember her song ‘Time Lapse’?”

 

“Ooh,” Karina winched, “that was painful.”

 

“Yeah… Tiffany-unnie really did a number on her. But, hey, it won’t happen to you. I’m certain of it. And this will all be over soon. I mean, they only have the place until nine, so ....”

 

Karina didn’t respond. Ningning sat silent next to her two sunbaes.

 

George stood in the middle of the crowd, asking for their attention. After all the chatters died down, he cleared his throat and spoke. “Friends and families, thank you for your time. I can’t express how grateful I am that all of you are willing to endure the cold weather to be here tonight. It is such an important night for us, me and Minjeong,” George extended his hand to Winter and the girl reached out to him. The two embraced.

 

Karina took a bigger sip on her margarita.

 

“It has been two years since I’ve moved here and it has been a struggle. Since I was a little kid, I always feel like I don’t belong anywhere. As an Asian living in the States, I was an outcast, never really blended with anyone. Even when I moved here, I still felt like… an alien. But since I met Minjeong,” he paused for dramatic effect which worked because everyone was full of anticipation, “I finally feel like I am home.”

 

A choir of ‘aaaw’ filled the room. Winter turned away from George, blushing. Hand in front of her smiling lips. Such a signature move.

 

George pulled Winter closer to him, putting his hand on her waist. Karina ordered another margarita.

 

“They say it takes a lifetime to really know someone, and I know I have only been with Minjeong for two years. There are a lot of things I don’t know about her yet. Though I am eager to find out more about her later on… there is someone here who has been with her for most of her life.”

 

Karina gulped. She gripped the margarita tighter.

 

“Miss…,” he said in English before switching back to Korean, “Yu Jimin. If it’s not too much to ask… can you tell me what kind of person my Minjeong was before she met me?”

 

“No,” Karina said immediately. “There are other people who know Minjeong far better than me…. Manager Cha, and, um….”

 

“Oh, come on. I think everyone in this room agrees that no one is more qualified than you,” said George.

 

The room gave a long applause, waiting for Karina to make her speech. Winter lost her smile. She clung even closer to George.

 

Karina gritted her teeth and gave in to the pressure.

 

Fine.

 

She raised her glass. “Well… thank you. Although, again, I don’t think I am the right person for this speech, I am honored.”

 

Pause.

 

“Mister George… is right. I have spent most of my early days with Minjeong and so we grew closer, grew fonder of each other, and found ourselves taking care of one another. Like you all know that the world we live in is… as glamorous as it is… most of the time is rough, hard and, uh… lonely. I am glad that I get to go through all of those years with my members. With Winter.”

 

Minjeong’s eyes were locked onto Karina now and the latter girl was trapped in them. No escape. 

 

“Now to describe what kind of person Winter is… I can’t think of any moment better than when we live together in a tight little dorm ….”

 

Ningning left the bar in a hurry to find Giselle among the crowd. She took the older girl’s hand and whispered, “I can’t ….”

 

“She always has trouble falling asleep so she harrasses us every night by knocking on our doors and sometimes, when she is really, really desperate, Winter will climb up to my bed and get under my blanket. She likes to cuddle, George. It helps with her anxiety so she can sleep faster and better. No matter how hot the weather is, endure,” said Karina, “She loves classical pop songs, weird dancing, and cringey TV. Winter appreciates it the most when you watch young-adult series with her. I hated it. Now I can’t seem to get over it.”

 

Because it reminded me of her.

 

Karina felt something up . She held it in and continued, “Winter has a hard time accepting good compliments, which she gets a lot. I mean, look at her. I am sure everyone in this room can attest to her kindness … her beauty … her charm.”

 

The lump in Karina’s throat grew bigger.

 

“She loves her family and all of her friends, but don’t make her choose between the two because she will break. She gives the best gifts, the best hugs, the best ki-,” the lump stopped Karina’s words. She had to pause. Tears started to well up. Karina looked to her feet. She let out a sigh and smiled. “She is a tough nut to crack, hard to love, but she loves hard, George. She loves hard.”

 

I loved you harder.

 

“So if you’re …,” Karina had to pause again, “if you’re the one she lets in … take it. If she gives her heart, don't you break it. Let your arms be the place she feels safe in. Because on even your hardest days when it feels like the whole world might cave in, when no one believes in you … even yourself. She will be there by your side to make sure that you make it.”

 

.

 

No forces could stop Karina’s tears from flowing down her cheeks.

 

“Because she got me through the end of my world too,” Karina pushed through the pain in her chest. “She’s the best thing that you’ll ever have.”

 

Winter bit her lower lip. Her eyes, still not leaving the sight of Karina, were burning red.

 

“I love you, Minjeong-ah. Always will,” Karina raised her glass again, emptied her margarita, wiped her tears, and forced a smile. “I wish the two of you all the happiness in the world.”

 

The crowd in the room raised their glasses and wiped the tears on their eyes. Winter hugged George, burying herself in his chest. George smiled and pointed at Karina with his glass. Karina nodded.

 

Yoona watched Karina turn around facing the bar, both hands on the stool, her breath out of control. “I have to get out of here.”

 

“The back door is just through there,” Yoona said.

 

Karina stormed out through the back door. She was behind the cafe in a narrow alleyway. With her back against the door, Karina cried her heart out. Her hands on her chest, pushing her aching heart. Her knees gave way and she curled like a child.

 

Snow fell down on her.

 

After a long cry, Karina plucked up her strength and returned back to the cafe. Ningning and Giselle were the first to greet her back. They talked for a bit, mingling with the crowd. Karina smiled through the compliments of her heartwarming speech before finally deciding to go home before everyone else.

 

Karina clenched her fist as she came up to Winter to say her goodbye. “Hey, Minjeong-ah. I’m leaving.”

 

“Oh,” Winter smiled. “Yes. Thank you for coming.”

 

“Congratulations on your engagement. I’m happy for you guys,” said Karina.

 

George bowed politely with a warm smile.

 

“Um, George. I’m gonna walk her to her car, okay? You wait here?” said Winter.

 

“Sure.”

 

Karina put her jacket on and walked out of the cafe. Winter followed her a step behind. The two crossed the parking lot in silence. When they arrived at Karina’s car, they stopped to look at each other.

 

Winter smiled and looked away. Karina did the same. The older girl rubbed Winter’s arm and patted it a few times. Then her fingers moved to ruffle the veil on Winter’s hair. They shared a short laugh.

 

Karina let her fingers fall down to Winter’s hand. Winter caught them and held it tight. She looked straight into Karina’s eyes, long and deep. Karina broke eye contact. Hold it a little bit longer and she would cry again. Winter put one hand on Karina’s chin, bringing their eyes back together. 

 

No more smiles on Winter’s face. There was pain and sadness. Karina tried to look away but Winter put both hands on her cheeks now, holding their eyes fixed at each other. Winter broke into tears. 

 

No. Don’t cry.

 

Karina kissed both of Winter’s hands, eyes closed, heart heavy. No amount of snow could froze their long lasting pain.

 

Winter took a deep breath. She gave Karina a long hug. They parted with a smile. 

 

From inside the cafe, standing by the window with a glass of champagne, George was observing the exchange. When Winter came back inside, she gave him a hug and a sweet smile. George kissed Winter’s on the hair and returned to the party.

 

At the end of the night, when all the merriment had passed, Winter and George climbed up the car and drove home. When they arrived, George stopped Winter from getting out of the car to ask her, “Hey, Minjeong.”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Is there something I need to know about you and Karina?”

 

Winter stopped for a second and closed the door of the car. She looked at George deeply, taking the veil off her hair and let out a sigh. She smiled. “I guess it’s time for you to know.”

 

“Know what?”

 

Winter took a deep breath. “Until six years ago, me and Jimin-unnie were known as Winrina .. and the story goes like this.”