Joy has already sensed Wendy's distress. There will be days when her girlfriend would almost succumb to languor and not just go to work, a far cry from her usual energetic and enthusiastic self. There will be days when she will just be too quiet, but the silence is far from comforting - it's as if she's seething in rage, one that she kept to herself and one that Joy feared would eventually consume her.

It inevitably did. One night, as they lay together in bed, Wendy started crying angrily and Joy can only hold her.

"Nagpunta ulit ko sa department head kanina," she said, voice cracking. "Tinanong ko na naman kung kailan ma-re-release suweldo nung RA ko. 'Di pa rin daw nila alam. Taragis Joy! Tatlong buwan na siyang 'di sumusuweldo. Kung mayaman lang ako kahit ako muna magbigay sa kanya ng buo, kaso I can only give her enough para may pangkain man lang siya," she said, fury coating her every word.

"Naawa ako dun sa bata. Ang galing-galing, ang sipag-sipag, pero 'di man lang mapasuweldo nang maayos at sa oras ng unibersidad!" Wendy shouted.

Joy held her girlfriend tight. She knows that aside from her RA, Wendy just couldn't help but be reminded of her young self, about the same unfair ordeal she has gone through. It's history repeating itself. It's pain and injustice mirroring itself.

So when Wendy found an opportunity to study abroad, Joy supported her and said she should go for it. Wendy got a partial scholarship to take her doctoral studies in Canada. Studying is one of the routes for permanent residency in the said country.

Even if she was an associate professor in the Philippines though, it didn't mean much there. Wendy had to swallow her pride and go for odd jobs to survive. Instead of doing a syllabus, Wendy would found herself selling junk food at a food stall in a mall so she can support herself.

This fazed Joy. She doesn't know if she can do what her girlfriend did. Not that she's not proud of what her girlfriend is doing, there's nothing wrong with her work, even if it's miles away from what she used to do. 

It's just that Joy cannot imagine abandoning her own dreams to go there.

But the thing is, it's what she and Wendy initially planned - that she would eventually follow her girlfriend to Canada.

But it's been four years and Joy still hasn't flown to where Wendy is.

Whenever Wendy will ask