The Dead
Der Märchenclub
Chapter 39
[The Dead]
Jessica didn’t quite know who to believe anymore.
When Heechul and her made a visit to the police office the day after the bloody revenge Taeyeon took on Sungmin, Jessica knew that Heechul was equally unsure that they were doing the right thing. But what was the right thing again? It was something that no one could know for sure. Sungmin’s decoy as a policeman made Jessica wary of the possibility that his allies and even maybe boss remained. Worse, what if his allies were also in the police squad? Nonetheless, it wasn’t like she had another choice to make –she still had a situation to explain to the police.
But then again, how would one explain the situation that she was involved in? When the police (she didn’t know whether they were the real police or not) arrived at Seoul Opera House and witnessed the dead body of an heiress’ bodyguard and a police officer, it must have been plausible to designate the only living people as witness. Even that was a better situation. If things were not clarified, both Heechul and Jessica could very well be regarded as the culprit. Fabricating a new story did not seem to be an easy task either. Everything overlapped each other –lying would be so easy to detect anyway.
Jessica cautiously eyed Jae Won, the high-ranking official of the police force, as he attentively heard Heechul’s story out.
Heechul had told Jae Won numerous things: about the notes they found in Oryu facility, about their pact with Taeyeon (though to eliminate the police’s suspicion on them, Heechul told Jae Won that they were forced by Taeyeon to lure Sungmin out –which was not entirely incorrect), about the proofs he had that Sungmin was the real culprit all along, about the battle that occurred the night before, about Taeyeon who had run away…
Jae Won had a good five-second of being stunned, before he cleared his throat and spoke softly, “So you cooperated with a killer…to kill another killer?”
Heechul’s brow knitted together –clearly displeased with the way Jae Won perceived his testimony. His reply was an infuriated one (not that Jessica could blame him –after all, the two of them hadn’t had the time to sleep after the incident in Seoul Opera House). “Yes, but that’s not the only main issue here, is it? The issue is that one of your subordinates turns out to be the killer himself, and now we’re questioning the credibility of the whole police.”
Jae Won took a deep sigh and allowed himself a moment of defeat. “I… honestly can’t believe it myself. Sungmin has been such a dependable, trustable subordinate. I’ve never thought that…” he paused, only to take a different approach later. “Not that I declare him as the culprit already. I know you’ve handed the evidences, but we still need to study them.”
“Do whatever you want with the evidences,” claimed Heechul as he leaned back to the chair. Awkward silence emitted among the three of them, but Heechul decided that such silence should have been short-lived. “How…Sungmin could get into the police force again?”
Jae Won exhaled another long sigh before replying, “When he first got into the police, we didn’t work in the same division, so I don’t know much. All I know is that he was this talented man having trained abroad, brought by one of the most respectable policemen in that era. The recommendation and the display of Sungmin’s capability made no one question his position even when he…” Jae Won trailed off momentarily. After a quick mental debate, he decided to throw the truth out. “…Even when he didn’t take the official entrance procedures.”
“You’re admitting that you’ve accepted someone without following the procedure,” Heechul snorted. “I didn’t know that the police squad is this corrupted.”
“Well he showed talent nobody as young as he was had –“
“That talented man is a murderer,” countered Heechul.
“That’s not yet proven –“
“I’ve given you the evidences!”
“Which we have to study first, Kim Heechul-sshi. I hope you understand.” Jae Won’s voice equally rose.
Heechul stood up from his seat abruptly. “You’re just protecting the villain,” he said as he shook his head, feeling dread coming to him. “For goodness’ sake, who knows if you –if all of the police are part of this wicked scheme?”
Jae Won’s face –though was generally soft-featured and wise-looking by age – hardened. “I hope you won’t question the credibility of the whole police force just by one instance of something which has not been proven.”
The look on disbelief was so clear on Heechul’s face that no one there was surprised when the Kim heir suddenly stood up, kicked the chair in process, and wordlessly walked to the door, slamming the door hard by force.
Jae Won massaged his temple once Heechul was no longer in the room. “I knew that the oldest heir of the Kim is a troubled one, but I didn’t think he would bring this much trouble.”
With a grace of a princess, Jessica only stood up and stared down icily at Jae Won. “That troubled kid…has courageously risked his own life to stop the murders harder than all of your police force combined. I hope you look at the mirror first before you badmouth someone,” she said tonelessly before she turned around and headed out of the room.
The door was closed (softly, unlike in Heechul’s case) by Jessica, and Jae Won could only mutter to himself.
“And I forgot the Jung lady is equally as difficult.”
Jessica was mildly surprised that when she exited the police station, Heechul was waiting for her. He looked up to her figure descending down the stairs, nodded briefly, and headed to the car. She concluded that it was the signal to follow him, so she did.
“I don’t believe them,” he said inside the car once Jessica shut the door.
“I really want to, though,” Jessica agreed in a more diplomatic way. “It’s…hard having to deal with all of these without having someone to confide in.”
They stayed in silence for the next few moments. Heechul had turned the heater of his car on, but had not decided to maneuver the vehicle away. The two of them only stared at the sight in front of the front window of Heechul’s car.
After what seemed to be a long pregnant pause, Heechul broke the silence once more.
“Can I trust you, Jung Jessica?”
She didn’t reply immediately. She only continued to stare at the oblivious people outside the police office. After another long moment, she finally replied, “That depends. Can I trust you, Kim Heechul?”
“Maybe not,” he replied –in contrast to the implication behind his earlier question. “You still dislike me, I still dislike you. It’s hard to form trust between two people who have no chemistry to begin with.”
She made a face when she got her point crossed, “Chemistry? Duh, don’t make it sound romantic. It’s nothing like that.”
“Oh that, I absolutely agree,” he replied bitingly. “Damn, this attitude of yours… it always makes me wonder why I allow you to breathe the same air as I do.”
After another pause, Jessica let a bitter chuckle escaped her lips. “I wonder why you have not told me to get away from your car.”
“I don’t trust you, no offense,” he said sternly as he looked at her for the first time since they got into the car. “But Ryeowook is… gone. Kibum too. I don’t trust the police. I can’t involve my family when I am investigating them. I cannot…put Yoona into danger…”
The discrimination made Jessica snort. It was nothing new, but it still pissed her off to hear that from his lips. “Yet you’re willing to put me into danger.”
“Hey, don’t sound like a jealous girlfriend.”
“I’m not your girlfriend, and I’m clearly not jealous,” affirmed Jessica. “It’s just a displeasing thought to know that you would not hesitate to throw me into danger to save your own life,” she retorted –her hand reached out to open the door of Heechul’s car. “But then again, it’s my bad. I know we don’t trust each other and I should know better to expect you –“
Heechul’s arm extended to stop her from leaving.
And before she could let out another snarky comment at his gesture, Heechul beat her to it.
“I may not trust you. But I need you. I need you to solve this whole case.”
Jessica rolled her eyes. She did not care if she sounded like the one here, because then again, she had always been one, hadn’t she? “What an opportunist.”
“In exchange to that, you can use me too,” proposed Heechul. “You don’t have to trust me, but I know that you equally need me. Come on Jessica, believe me, our partnership isn’t the best, but it has worked quite well in the past. You owe yourself that truth.”
She wanted to deny it, she really did. After all, the thought of being in need of Kim Heechul tore something in Jessica’s pride.
But she knew he was right.
They did not have to trust each other, but they needed each other at the moment. As illogical as it sounded, their partnership was, as Heechul had quoted, working quite well based on experience. It might not have been the best assurance, but at desperate time like this, well, one could never be that picky.
Slowly, while still having a mental debate with herself, Jessica pulled the car’s door close again. Sighing, she then turned to ask Heechul, “Alright. Now what are we going to do?”
Heechul shrugged. “We’ll think of it after we freshen up. Your clothes are full of blood, surely you want to take care of that first?”
Jessica sighed. “Yes, I suppose you’re right.”
Lee Donghae stared at his reflection on the mirror. He counted to ten and waited for some moments, before he finally exhaled a relieved sigh.
He is not coming.
Donghae had discovered that his other self had the tendency to communicate with him when he was looking at his reflection on the mirror. He had been staying and undergoing the treatment in this mental asylum for several weeks. He could not declare that his other self had completely vanished, but if he allowed more credit to himself, he knew that he could suppress the existence of his other self better as each day passed by.
The doctors also told him that he was showing great improvement. They did not bother to lie to him and say that he could be released soon. But instead of being dejected, Donghae was grateful for such sincerity. He knew that mental diseases were not diseases that could be cured within months –or even years. To imagine that he would be spending the future years of his life in the mental asylum did not displease him. If anything, he thought that it was a good hiding place. He was more afraid of how he would hurt people out there if he was not hidden well enough.
That was why, the fear bounced back when she made her appearance to the visiting cubicle again.
Jessica, Donghae thought, was a courageous woman. Or an ignorant one–whichever fit her the best. Even his parents didn’t visit him as much as Jessica did. Well, his mother did visit him once –but she never came back again after that.
“Sica…” he whispered.
“How have you been doing?” the girl asked.
Donghae exhaled a deep breath. “Better, I hope. ‘He’ doesn’t show up lately. I think I’m controlling him better as time passes by.”
The smile on her face was genuine –one that she honestly, sincerely cast for the first times in the past few weeks. The corner of his lips also twitched upwards to reciprocate the gesture. Ah, he nearly forgot how beautiful her smile was.
But the beauty of her smile reminded him of how ugly his inner-self was in comparison. Albeit being in full control lately, Donghae could never be too sure of it. Jessica took more advance steps to approach him, but Donghae raised his hand as a warning not to come closer.
“Although he no longer appears, that doesn’t mean you should be less careful about me.”
She ignored his words and took another step closer. “I trust you. You won’t hurt me.”
He nearly chuckled at her belief as he took a step backward. “You witnessed the hideous things I’ve done in the past. I did something horrible to Yoona, I attacked Heechul Hyung, I even nearly attacked you. You can never trust me, Jessica.”
But she just took another step closer, earning him a worried look.
“But you’re stronger now, Donghae. I know you’re stronger than that.”
As much as he wanted to believe in her words, the insecurity crept back to him effortlessly. Donghae nearly gave up. Jessica knew how to argue better, but he could try again. “I’m not strong, Jessica.”
“You are.”
He chuckled humorlessly. “What made you so sure of that?”
“I know you.”
The comment sounded arrogant to his ears –as much as Donghae wanted to stop himself for thinking that way. “You don’t know me that much.”
But she ignored his cynic. She took bolder steps towards him, while he took some uncertain steps backwards. His hesitance made it easier for her to catch up, and by then, she already stood in front of him. Slowly, Jessica extended her hand to reach his hand that was laid limp on his side. His hand was warm, like the person she knew he was. She held his bigger hand within her smaller one and allowed herself to smile again, “I know it.”
“You know what?”
“You are a kind man, Donghae. That’s why you try to distance yourself from me. Because you don’t want to hurt me, do you?”
“I don’t want to hurt you, indeed. But that doesn’t mean –“
“I’m not a weak girl, Donghae. You should stop treating me as one,” she reminded him. Her eyes looked up at him and he widened his eyes as he saw the determination in her chocolate eyes.
And the more he saw it, the more he was ashamed of himself. Jessica was a good girl –someone who did not deserve the wicked side of him. He was embarrassed of himself and he drew his hand away from her tiny grasp. He averted his gaze off her, but he knew that she was still focusing her gaze at him. “Why, Jessica? Why are you doing all of these for me?”
The question, Jessica admitted, was something that she had asked herself countless times before –even before it came from Donghae. On an objective point of view, she would not normally allow herself to do this much to someone without expecting anything in return. Donghae was merely her childhood friend. Maybe once, he had been her first love, but that was supposed to be it. First love was not something sacred anymore. And she knew that her feelings had changed throughout the years.
But curse her, curse him; her feelings to him had grown stronger.
It was something rather inexplicable. If Jessica allowed herself the truth, there was nothing special about Donghae. After she had unconsciously erased her memory of him, she had never seen him again. And since they met each other again after years at the night of Der Märchenclub, he had not done anything special either. Sure, he was there, but so was everybody else. Sure, he tried to protect her, but truth be told, there were other males who tried to protect her too –Heechul, Hankyung…
But to her, Donghae was not like Heechul or Hankyung. No matter how insignificant Donghae’s actions were for her, everything he did, everything he said always left a bigger impact on her. She didn’t need to be that conceited anymore to deny that she cared for Donghae more than she did for other males. His actions to her may not have been special, but he was still special no
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