If you put your hands around someone's neck the way Soojin was gripping the steering wheel of her shabby red BMW, you could strangle someone in a split second. Soojin couldn't help herself, her head pressing into her shoulders and her fingers clutching at the steering wheel like a drowning man clutching at straws. Soojin's driving experience was already long and she was still afraid of getting into an accident? Or maybe it wasn't because of that, but because of the passenger sitting next to her?

 

Park Soeun, Soojin's old high school friend and now colleague (how come they keep running into each other over and over again?) was also feeling uneasy as she glanced at the equally nervous Soojin. Those very discreet glances that you don't want anyone to intercept.

 

Soojin still continued to give Soeun a ride home from work and smiled amiably when they met in the hallways between offices. For the past two weeks, however, there had been a strange tension between the two of them that neither the music nor the casual conversation that quickly exhausted itself. Soojin felt like Soeun was hiding something from her, but she hesitated to ask. She could see from the side of her eyes that she was biting her lip and trying too hard to look at the view outside the window.

 

 

"You're very tense." Soeun said one day. The wind was playing with her short hair and Soojin found it cute, but Soeun didn't need to know that. Not yet.

 

Soojin gripped the steering wheel tighter, turning sharply to the side.

 

 

"I don't want to hit a pole." she said, knowing full well that she was lying to herself and to Soeun.

 

"You had a good teacher. You won't."

 

 

It was Soojin's turn to bite her lip nervously until it bled.

 

"She was..." she repeated, feeling the word sour and unpleasant on her tongue. How quickly had her memories, which she had planned to cherish for the rest of her life, turned into this, something that tasted truly disgusting?

 

 

"If the steering wheel were human, he'd have choked to death by now." The familiar infectious chuckle sent shivers down Soojin's spine, but the remark didn't loosen her grip.

 

 

Soojin really loved Jimin and everything about her, so she was overjoyed when she agreed to teach her how to drive. However, what Soojin remembered was not the various automotive theories, but the way Jimin's singsong voice told her something (Soojin didn't listen), the way she gesticulated, trying to draw the gear system in the air (Soojin only looked at her beautiful hands and long fingers), and the way Jimin squinted her beautiful cat eyes when she laughed so that her eyes turned into two crescent moons. 

 

"It's time to shift gears." Jimin's hand gently touches Soojin's arm, gently placing it on the right lever. That touch sent an electric current running through her entire body, making her wince.

 

Soeun's hand was still resting on Soojin's arm.

 

"I wanted to ask you to teach me how to drive. I know a little bit, but I'd like to try it under the guidance of someone experienced like you." Soeun laughed awkwardly, chasing the remnants of Jimin's laughter out of Soojin's ears.

 

Soojin turned slightly pink, matching the color of her hair. She couldn't help herself, whenever Soeun sat next to her, her memories went back to Jimin, who had sat in Soeun's seat just like that and watched Soojin's driving progress. Those memories pressed terribly on her shoulders, making her cling tighter to the steering wheel to avoid being crushed by them.

 

"Well, if that's the way you want it... Promise me that we won't break any traffic rules."

 

 

Soeun squeezed Soojin's hand tighter and made a trembling promise not to break any rules. Soojin caught herself thinking that she didn't want Soeun to let her hand go.

 

They stopped outside some convenience store to change seats.

 

Now sitting in the passenger seat, Soojin tried not to look to her left where Soeun was busily looking around.

 

"It seems like it will take me a long time to process this information." Jimin looked like a beaten puppy and tried not to look at her friend.

 

Soojin didn't even cry. She understood perfectly well that heart couldn't command her and Jimin had the right to be happy without her. It was probably even an expected reaction. Anyway, it seemed to Soojin that true love for someone is when you are genuinely happy for the one you love, even though their heart chose someone else. Soojin is sure that Jaehee is a good girl and Jimin will be fine with her, but makes a note in her mind not to tell anyone else about her feelings. Never again in her life.

 

Soojin doesn't know what fell first when she stepped out of Jimin's car - the raindrop on her nose or the drops of her tears. 

 

 

Or her heart when she felt Soeun's gentle touch on her shoulder.

 

"You're very beautiful today."

 

Soojin's eyes opened wide. Maybe from Soeun's perspective, she did look very beautiful under the bright scarlet sunset rays tangling in her pink hair and filling her eyes with light, making Soeun smile like the lovesick fool she had been all along, from the very first year of high school when she first saw Soojin until now. Except that she hadn't had the strength to admit it. But now Soeun feels like it's time to be brave and make her Soojin happy, because she's been looking pretty down lately. Like she was missing someone who could disperse the clouds over her head. Soeun is sure that she would have done a great job, but she was afraid of destroying what she had worked so hard to build all this time. 

 

"That's why I think we should go to the most beautiful place nearby. Have you ever been to the sea?"

 

Soojin shook her head negatively, not understanding what Soeun was getting at.

 

"You will today." Soeun promised, stepping on the gas. Surprisingly, she was driving very confidently, and Soojin felt calm for the first time in a long time. She wanted to be in Soeun's safe hands that turned the steering wheel so smoothly.

 

The phone screen suddenly displayed a familiar number (why hadn't she deleted it?), and Soojin suddenly declined it and looked away, probably trying to see her future, but she saw something else....

 

 

"SOEUN, WE RAN A RED LIGHT!!!!!"

 

 

But was it really that important at this point?